Grand Butt-Sex Hotel feels like the kind of game teenage me always dreamed about finding on some shady Flash site, except now it actually runs smooth on my phone and doesn’t crash when the good part starts. You play this kinda hapless dude who walks into this fancy hotel thinking “oh cool, job, money, normal life maybe” and instead you get thrown into a place where the managers and guests are mostly tall smug futa ladies with thick thighs, huge tits and way too much money, who look at you like you’re a walking stress toy. The whole vibe is luxury mixed with porn parody, like someone mashed a five-star resort with one of those cursed hentai doujins you pretend you “found by accident”. You’re basically staff and chew-toy at the same time. One second you’re talking politely at the front desk, the next a classy futa businesswoman is pushing you against the counter and making you suck her cock while the elevator dings in the background. The game treats that as completely normal, which is honestly kinda funny and hot at same time.

What really hit my nostalgia brain is how the humor and horny stuff are glued together. The dialogue is full of dumb jokes, weird “rich people fetish” lines, and that slightly awkward English that somehow makes the dirty talk work better. There’s this scene where a petite “trap” guest shows up looking cute and shy, then calmly pulls out a suitcase full of toys and asks if you’re “hotel-certified” for anal service, like it’s spa menu item. You get the dating sim vibe, picking how polite or thirsty your responses are, and it actually changes how hard they ride you later. One futa with a giant ass teases you for being “vanilla” if you only go for oral, then drags you to her room, bends you over the bed and you feel like you’re signing a contract with your asshole. Some of the animations are nicely timed with the moans, especially the oral shots where your head is bobbing and her balls tap your chin, but then sometimes a loop will reset at a weird moment and my brain just goes “why did her hips teleport”. And the loading between scenes on mobile Chrome lagged right during a blowjob payoff, which annoyed me more than it should, but I still kept playing, because of course I did.

The hotel setting lets them throw in all kinds of guests: tall dark-skinned futa with big tits who treats you like a room amenity, some smug white CEO type who wants you on your knees under the table during “business calls”, a nerdy girl with glasses who secretly has the thickest cock and uses a vibrating toy in your ass while she scrolls on her phone, barely looking at you. There are races mixed, body types, a lot of big asses pressing you into fancy sheets. Sometimes the female domination goes pretty hard, like humiliating dirty talk while they make you lick their shaft clean after anal, and other times it’s oddly sweet, like a futa patting your head after using you and tipping you like a good bellboy. It’s funny, because the game pretends to be this outrageous fetish buffet, but the thing that stuck with me most was one quiet moment in a hallway, where you’re exhausted, cum probably still dripping somewhere, and a guest just smirks, adjusts her bulge, and tells you she booked you for “wake-up service” tomorrow. That tiny little line hit way harder in my head than half the loud scenes. Also, the hotel lobby music slaps in the weirdest way. I caught myself humming it while opening TikTok, which is completely wrong for this kind of game and now my brain is cursed forever.

Whole thing starts with you thinking this is just another horny space VN with a hot older woman and some fake tension, then suddenly you realize you actually care if this milf is mad at you or not while you’re also lowkey trying to see her naked. You’re the "bad influence gamer kid" stuck on an empty alien ship with your best friend’s mom, Elena, who has huge tits, a perfect ass, and that permanent "I am disappointed in you" face that somehow just makes you harder. She’s blaming you for everything, talks to you like you’re a dumb kid, but she’s also trapped with you, in corridors that feel way too quiet, with weird alien tech humming in the background. And every time you pick a choice you feel like you’re poking a sleeping lioness, like, am I gonna get a cold glare or am I gonna get her breathing a bit heavier and pretending she isn’t turned on.

What I liked most is how the horny stuff doesn’t drop on you instantly. You have those moments where she’s pacing in the control room in this tight outfit that is absolutely not regulation, arguing about power, oxygen, food, and you’re half paying attention because the camera angle is just locked on her curves and you’re like "ok, sure, survival, but ma’am, your tits are actually in my face right now." At one point you find this alien artifact, very glowy, very "I probably shouldn’t touch that" and of course you touch it. After that, things start to get weird in the good way. She leans over a console to look at some alien script and suddenly you feel this pull, like the artifact is nudging you to imagine her on her knees. You pick the teasing dialogue option, she snaps at you, but you can see the tiny blush in her cheeks, and then she turns away, ass swaying just a little too much to be an accident. Or maybe I imagined it. No idea. Don’t care.

The actual sex stuff, when it starts happening, doesn’t feel like some random porn scene slapped in. You remember that moment in the dark engine bay, when she’s shaking a bit, trying to act tough, and you choose to calm her down instead of making a joke. That choice echoes later when she’s the one slowly unzipping your suit in the captain’s cabin, eyes locked on yours, muttering something about "needing human contact" with zero irony. Oral scenes hit harder because she still has that older-woman authority vibe even when she’s on her knees, like she’s in control of how desperate you get. The teasing is brutal in a good way; she’ll pull back, wipe the spit, give you that smug look like "you wanted this, didn’t you?" and you just sit there like a clown clicking through dialogue. Sometimes the pacing makes no sense, like one minute we’re talking serious alien technology and possible mind control, next minute her boobs are basically a physics experiment on my screen, but honestly that chaos kinda fits. There’s a tiny UI sound on one of the choice menus that drove me nuts and I’ll complain about it forever, but I still kept mashing through for the next scene where Elena pretends this is all about survival while she’s clearly enjoying having you wrapped around her finger in every possible way.

Game hits you right away with that “back home from college, everything’s familiar but completely fucked up now” vibe. You’re the same guy, but your old place is not the same, and mostly it’s because every woman around you decided to grow curves like it’s a competition. The first time you walk through the door, the camera just lingers a bit too long on your tenant bending over the coffee table, and it’s not subtle at all. Big tits hanging in that tight top, ass hugged by leggings, her pretending she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing. The game loves that kind of awkward, horny silence. You click through simple dialogue, nothing fancy, but the timing of the shots does the heavy lifting. You’re just standing there, sharing small talk, while her nipples are basically screaming through the fabric and you’re trying not to stare. Of course you stare.

The whole thing plays like a slow burn that keeps forgetting it’s supposed to be slow. One moment you’re just getting back into the house routine, your “roommate” acting like it’s totally normal to walk around in a towel she’s clearly outgrown, dropping hints and teasing. Next scene, you catch her in the hallway late at night, playing with herself with the door half open like she wants you to see. That voyeur flavor is strong. Camera peeking from the doorway, her hand between her thighs, tits bouncing in these short, looping animations that repeat just long enough to make you feel like a creep for watching and still not clicking ahead. She moans your name way earlier in the story than it should make sense, but it still hits. And in the middle of that, the game throws in those cheap little mobile popups for choices, like you’re answering a WhatsApp message instead of deciding if you walk away or walk in. Of course you don’t walk away. Nobody does.

There’s this one scene on the balcony that kinda sums the whole game up. Tenant in a too-tight dress, city lights behind her, pretending she’s just enjoying the fresh air while leaning forward against the railing, ass sticking out like a porn thumbnail. She starts talking about how she never really moved on while you were gone, how business kept her busy and all that, but the shot just slowly sinks to her cleavage and stays there. Her dress rides up with every small movement and you can see she didn’t bother with panties. She knows you’re looking, and the dialogue lets you play innocent or openly filthy. If you push it, she “accidentally” drops something, bends all the way down, and the animation of you stepping in close behind her is smooth enough that it feels more intimate than it has any right to on a phone screen. Oral gets worked in pretty naturally too, like when she kneels to “help you relax after a stressful day” and keeps eye contact the whole time, spit shining your cock while her huge tits press together and jiggle with every slow stroke. It’s crude and a bit trashy and somehow that’s exactly why it works. By the time your roommate is walking around braless at breakfast, nipples poking through that thin shirt like she forgot what modesty even means, the line between family, tenant, roommate, all that, is just gone. It becomes one long, horny fantasy about coming home and every woman in the house secretly wanting you, watching you, touching themselves because of you, and half the fun is pretending you’re shocked when the next boundary gets crossed.

You’re playing this tired small-town detective who looks like he hasn’t slept in about ten years, and honestly, fair. His sister vanished, his brother’s dead, the whole city feels like it’s rotting quietly under cheap neon, and every time he starts to focus on the case, some absurdly hot woman with big tits and a tragic backstory leans over his desk and distracts him with cleavage and weirdly personal questions. It’s half investigation, half “how is everyone in this shitty town model-level attractive,” and the game just goes, “yeah, that’s normal, don’t worry about it.” You click through leads, interrogations, late-night visits, and suddenly the conversation that started with “where were you that night” is turning into her licking her lips, him pressing her against a wall, her panties around her ankle, and a nice POV angle of her taking him deep. This is not subtle noir, it’s horny noir that forgot what HR is.

The story likes to pretend it’s serious, and actually sometimes it works. You’re chasing clues about your missing sister, and then the game throws you into a date scene with a tattooed bartender with a huge ass who keeps “accidentally” brushing her tits against your arm while pouring a drink. You’re trying to ask about some shady guy, she just laughs, puts your hand on her thigh, then you’re in a back room with her on her knees, blowjob framed from his point of view, spit building on his shaft, her gagging a little while still trying to talk dirty, which is sort of funny and hot at same time. A few choices later she’s bent over a crate, ass out, you pushing in raw, and the game doesn’t shy away from the creampie shot. There’s a lot of that, by the way. The MC is allergic to condoms, apparently. You say the right things, girls open up emotionally, then open their legs, it’s that kind of energy. One shy “good girl” virgin who acts like she’s never kissed a guy before goes from blushing mess to riding you in your office chair, tits bouncing in your face, begging you not to pull out. And yeah, you don’t. Of course you don’t.

What I liked is how scenes don’t all play the same. Sometimes it’s slow teasing, like a handjob in a car while you’re “staking out” a suspect, her jerking you off under the steering wheel while pretending to listen to the radio, whispering in your ear and grinding her ass against your side. Sometimes it explodes into full group sex chaos, like the harem setup you stumble into if you don’t piss off the wrong girls. There’s one route where two of them show up at your place “to help with the case” and five minutes later you’re flat on your back, one riding your face while the other is bouncing on your cock, and then a third joins just to wrap her tits around you for a slick titfuck between thrusts. They make jokes while doing it too, which is weirdly charming. The MC leans pretty hard into male domination, pressing them into furniture, hand on their throat, telling them to keep eye contact while he fucks them, and they clearly love it. Anal pops up like it’s just another checkpoint in the investigation, with a girl who says she’s not ready for “normal” sex yet but then relaxes completely once you’re inside her ass, clutching the bedsheet and asking for it harder. There’s romance and sweet moments buried under all the cum and dirty talk, but the game never lets you forget this is about a detective who tries to solve a family tragedy and somehow ends up with a house full of women who all want his cock in every hole they have. Honestly, priorities.