I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

You start as this kinda clueless guy who just wants some easy cash delivering pizza, and suddenly you’re knee deep in a beach resort that feels like it was designed by a horny god with zero HR rules. The whole thing plays like a goofy visual novel that keeps tripping over its own jokes, then somehow landing face first in some really filthy scenes. One second you’re checking a delivery address in a half-busted menu, next second the door opens and there’s a stacked blonde in a bikini top that can’t decide if it’s clothing or suggestion. The game doesn’t even pretend to be serious. You get into these dialogues where you try to sound professional while staring at gigantic tits that basically have their own gravity, and half your choices feel like: “Be polite” or “Accidentally flirt like a horny idiot.” And both usually lead to trouble, just different flavors of it.

What I liked is how they use the “pizza boy” thing as an excuse to throw you into all kinds of weird situations. Like, there’s this delivery to the green haired girl at the pool, and the scene starts normal, just small talk about the order, some dumb jokes about extra cheese, whatever. Then she stretches on the deck chair, her bikini bottom rides up, you get a close-up cg that is absolutely not subtle, and you suddenly notice this small dialogue branch that was easy to miss. If you pick it, she starts teasing you about tips. Not money tips. The tension ramps up quick. The writing is still trying to be funny, but the cg is already full hentai mode, uncensored, skin shining like she’s been soaked in sunscreen for an hour. I had that moment of “ok this is stupid” while at the same time scrolling back to check if there was a way to push the scene even further. Spoiler: there kinda is, but you need to be a bit of an asshole earlier with another girl at the beach bar, which I found by accident. Totally not replay-safe if you pretend to be a good guy all the time.

Then there is the scientist. She shows up like the game took a wrong turn out of Pornhub and fell into some cheap sci fi parody. Lab coat barely closed, tattoos poking from underneath, talking about “testing new code” in the resort system and acting like your dick is part of the experiment. There are bugged text boxes sometimes, stuff flickers, and instead of fixing it she sort of leans into it and starts breaking the fourth wall in this teasing way. She literally blames “code bugs” for why her top keeps disappearing in the cg gallery, like it is a glitch and not that the artist just wanted her naked in every variant. You get this optional scene where she asks you to deliver “special pizza” to her lab at night, and the whole route goes from light comedy to full hentai lab fantasy. Restraints, scanners, her sitting on your lap pretending she is calibrating something, and your choices change tiny details in the cg: glasses on or off, open coat, how rough it gets. It’s not super deep, but it felt more playful than most jam stuff I’ve seen.

The resort itself is full of beach clichés, in a good trashy way. Redhead lifeguard with a body that looks like it violates health and safety, fake wholesome smile, then you notice the way the camera angle keeps dropping to her chest when she “checks your pulse.” There’s a scene where she pretends you might be dehydrated and drags you to the shade. Absolutely no medical training in that scene, just wet lips, tan lines, and an excuse to slide her hand too low when she is “making sure your heart is fine.” The game lets you pick if you play along or try to act innocent, but both paths are horny, just with different banter. The humor is actually not terrible. It’s dumb, meme-ish, full of throwaway lines about late orders and bad mobile data, like someone wrote it while doomscrolling Twitter and watching hentai at the same time. My only real complaint is that sometimes it feels like the choices tease something big and then you just get the same cg with one line changed, but maybe that fits this whole lazy resort mood.

Some of the best bits are smaller things that almost feel like inside jokes for people who crawl adult VN sites too much. There’s a moment where a blonde customer says “don’t worry, I’m legal, this isn’t that kind of game” and then immediately asks you to help rub lotion into places the camera very clearly wants to focus on. Another time, a text popup bugs out and repeats three times, and instead of hiding it they let the scientist comment on how your “route flag is stuck” while her hand slowly moves offscreen on your body in the cg. Stuff like that makes it feel like everyone involved knew exactly what type of trashy, horny beach story they were making and just ran with it. It’s rough, sometimes clumsy, a bit all over the place, and the girls are drawn with that exaggerated hentai logic where every boob looks heavier than your whole torso. But when you are in the middle of a scene, watching sweat drip between giant tits while you’re still holding a pizza box in the corner of the frame, it kind of just clicks. You’re not here for perfect pacing. You’re here because a part-time job at a resort full of hot women and broken code is the exact porn plot your brain secretly wanted and never asked for out loud.

Shoji’s house looks like one of those quiet, expensive places in a drama where you already know some fucked up shit is going on behind the paper doors. The game drops you right into that mood. You’re this broke husband, basically a guest with a dick and a suitcase, and Shoji is the rich “family friend” who’s a bit too kind, a bit too available, and way too comfortable walking around half dressed. Your wife Lana starts off like a normal modern girl, cute casual clothes, a bit of foreign flair on her style, talking about Instagram and stupid stuff, and then little by little she starts changing. One day she’s scrolling on her phone in shorts, next time she’s quietly kneeling in a soft kimono pouring tea for Shoji while he sits like some lazy old lion, and she doesn’t even look at you when you come in. The game never shouts “corruption” at you, it just lets you notice her lipstick is different, her hair color is back to natural, she bows a little deeper to him than to you, and it hits harder than a flashy “bad end” screen.

What got me hooked wasn’t the porn right away, it was that slow gut punch of small stuff. That one early scene where you walk into the living room and Lana is sitting on the floor next to Shoji’s legs, listening to him talk about “proper Japanese values”, and she gives you this quick guilty smile while her hand is hidden under the low table. You know exactly what she’s doing, you know what his cock looks like already from a dream scene, but the game just lets it hang there. You hear the tiny wet rhythm, see her shoulder twitch a little, and she tries to keep the conversation casual with you while she’s jerking him off inches from your face. No big drama, no yelling, he even talks to you about job hunting while your wife is milking him for all he’s worth. Then later she acts like it never happened and asks if you want a handjob too, like it’s some cute married couple thing, like she didn’t just swallow another man’s cum behind the table where you eat. My brain hated that, my dick loved it, and the game knows exactly how to play with that split. It’s not subtle at all, but somehow it feels more real than it should, like some shitty memory you’re not supposed to have.

The story keeps pressing on this Japanese “traditional wife” idea, but in the dirtiest way possible. Lana starts speaking more polite to Shoji than to you, calling him “Shoji-san” with that soft voice, kneeling next to him, fixing his tie, adjusting his belt a little too low. You get scenes where you come home and they are “practicing tea ceremony” and her kimono is pulled down just enough for her tits to almost slip out, or you see her sitting in front of him while he stands behind her, “showing her proper posture”, his hands on her hips, his bulge against her ass under the thin fabric. Sometimes you get a choice, like pretend you don’t notice, or say something weak, and either way you feel like a useless husband watching your own wife slide into this obedient little sex toy for an older man. They always look like you arrived two minutes too late. Her lipstick smudged, her panties missing, Shoji buttoning his shirt, acting normal. And there is that one balcony scene where she tells you she loves you, kisses you softly… and the CG zooms just enough to show a white drip still clinging to her inner thigh. She doesn’t even notice. Or she does and won’t say. It’s that style. The game is basically asking “are you still okay with calling her your wife when she kneels for someone else first?” and then, just when you think “this is too much”, it gives you a gentle sex scene with her where she rides you slow, eyes half closed, moaning your name… and all you can think is she learned that grinding technique on someone thicker. It’s fucked up, it’s hot, and it never really lets you breathe.

Office is quiet, Outlook is frozen again, so I alt-tabbed into this thing and suddenly my productivity went to hell. The game throws you into this “normal” married couple setup, except nothing stays normal for more than five clicks. They start as that typical cozy pair who probably has a joint Netflix account and matching coffee mugs, and then you poke a few dialogue options and boom, you’re pushing them straight into every filthy fantasy they were pretending they didn’t have. It’s not subtle. One moment you’re having this cute banter about daily life, next moment you’re choosing if the husband encourages his wife to wear that too-tight top to meet the neighbor or tells her not to… and obviously you click the bad option, because we all know why we’re here. The humor is actually decent, not that “haha so random” cringe, more like sarcastic couple jokes, horny and a bit mean, the kind that sounds like people who have actually been together for years. Sometimes it tries too hard to be funny, but at least it’s not talking to you like you’re a dumb teenager.

What really hooked me is how the wife’s personality shifts depending on what you push her into. You can keep her more shy and romantic, or slowly twist her into this hungry exhibitionist who gets wet just from being stared at, and the change feels earned because it comes from a hundred little choices. There was one scene where the husband “jokingly” dares her to flash in a parked car, and if you keep picking the bolder answers her breathing changes, the way she talks changes, and suddenly the joke’s not a joke anymore. If you go further, you end up in situations where she is flirting way too hard with a guy who should absolutely be off-limits, while the husband watches and pretends he is still in control. He isn’t. The game loves that line between “we are doing this together” and “she is slipping away into her own new kink world.” One route I picked had her drunk on attention from some smug asshole with perfect hair, and the husband is basically half cheering it on and half dying inside. That scene was hot and uncomfortable and I hated it and then replayed it to try an even worse choice. Also, her tits are huge in the nice useless way where a single button on her blouse is technically “clothing,” and the game knows exactly how to frame that, especially when you push her into tighter outfits. The corruption hits slow then hard, like that extra beer you really shouldn’t open during a “quick” lunch break.

Not every branch is gold. There is a path that tries to be all sweet and wholesome, and yeah, it’s cute for five minutes, then you’re just sitting there waiting for someone to get their clothes off properly. Some of the more hardcore options come a bit out of nowhere too, like you pick a slightly edgier choice and suddenly you’re knee-deep in a fetish scene that probably deserved two more steps of buildup. But at the same time, that messy feeling also kinda works for this story, because sex in long relationships is rarely clean and logical anyway. One run I had the wife turning into this bold, dirty talk machine, then a few scenes later she was shy again with a different guy and it felt like the script forgot what route I was on, which annoyed me more than it should. Also I still don’t like one of the blonde side characters; she talks like a TikTok comment section and I kept clicking through her lines just to get to the next bad decision for the main couple. Still, whenever I told myself “okay, last scene, then back to Excel,” I ended up chasing one more branch just to see how far the game would let me push this poor marriage before it snaps or mutates into something even hotter and more broken.