I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

You wake up in a place that feels like some horny JRPG fan’s wet dream and a Pinterest moodboard had a baby. Sky too clean, grass too green, and the first thing you see is a girl with tits that absolutely do not obey gravity or any God you know, calling herself a “spirit” and acting like you’re important. Not “hey, you’re cute” important. More like “if you don’t make me cum, the universe might explode” important. No pressure, right?

The hook is simple but it works: you’re this clueless guy dropped into a fantasy world where every main girl is some kind of spirit with powers that need to be “sealed” through, well, physical contact. Sometimes sweet, sometimes filthy, sometimes both in the same scene. One spirit will tease you with that slow, lazy handjob where she keeps locking eyes with you and smirking, like she knows exactly how close you are and keeps pulling back at the last second. Another one kneels in front of you in what looks like an ancient temple, says it’s “part of the ritual”, and then takes you in her mouth so deep you literally forget what the actual plot was. There’s also a running joke about “energy transfer” that somehow always ends with her tits covered in your cum. Classic.

What hits different here is how the game yo-yos between horny and cute without asking for permission. You’re having this surprisingly emotional scene with a spirit who is scared of losing control of her powers, and she’s blushing, asking if you’ll stay with her, and you think “oh, this is kinda wholesome”. Ten clicks later she’s pushing her big ass back on your cock in some ruined shrine, gasping like the fate of the world is in every thrust, and you’re like yeah alright, that tracks. The romance actually matters just enough to make the sex scenes feel earned, even when the game is clearly joking about its own logic. There’s this date in a market square where she’s pretending to be just a normal girl, feeding you fruit, trying not to blow your cover as a walking spirit magnet, and the whole thing ends with you fucking her between two stalls while some guy on the other side complains about prices. I was half expecting a Skyrim stealth meter in the corner.

The comedy is very “we know this is ridiculous, just enjoy it”. One spirit literally catches you peeking on her while she bathes, calls you a pervert, then five minutes later is guiding your head between her legs, moaning that she “needs to be purified”. The game throws in parody moments from other fantasy stuff too, but in a stupid, charming way, like a fake “hero’s guild” that turns out to be mostly hot spirits arguing over who gets to be your “official partner”. Of course, harem vibes everywhere, with characters lowkey competing: one girl bouncing her massive tits in your face while another rolls her eyes but then offers a slow titfuck like she’s saying “fine, watch this instead”. Mobile support is actually decent, even for one-handed play, though tapping tiny dialogue choices while your other hand is busy is its own kind of skill check. Only thing that annoyed me was one scene where a big emotional conversation gets interrupted by a gag about your dick again and I was like, yeah, I get it, comedy, but let her finish one serious line, man. Anyway, the world keeps pretending it might end, nobody’s wearing a normal-sized bra, and somehow that crystal that started all this stops feeling important once you’re staring at another spirit riding you like her magic depends on it.

This Resident Evil parody throws you straight into Lady Dimitrescu's castle, and honestly? The devs knew exactly what they were doing. You're playing some poor bastard who's gotta survive Alcina's "trial" - which basically means getting dominated by a nine-foot vampire mommy and her equally stacked daughters. The turn-based combat system feels clunky at first, like they copy-pasted it from some RPG maker tutorial, but once you realize the real gameplay is about managing your stamina while getting your face buried in supernatural cleavage, it starts making sense. There's this one scene where Dimitrescu pins you against the wall and the camera angle is just... chef's kiss. The 3DCG models look decent enough, though Lady D's proportions are so exaggerated she looks like she'd topple over in real life.

Combat encounters blend into these weird BDSM scenarios where losing actually feels like winning. You'll find yourself deliberately failing just to see what creative punishment awaits. The spanking animations have more effort put into them than the actual sword fighting mechanics, which tells you where the priorities were. Sandbox elements let you explore the castle freely, groping your way through dark corridors while avoiding or seeking out the various monster girls lurking around. Some of the dialogue during sex scenes made me laugh out loud - not sure if that was intentional. The ahegao faces during climax moments are over-the-top ridiculous but somehow work within this campy horror-porn aesthetic.

What really caught me off guard was how they handled the size difference fetish stuff. Tall vs short dynamics play out in every interaction, from handjobs where your character can barely reach to titfuck scenes that look physically impossible. The harem aspect kicks in later when you're juggling multiple supernatural ladies, each with their own domination preferences. Voice acting ranges from surprisingly good to hilariously bad, but the moaning sounds authentic enough. Fair warning though - the grinding gets repetitive and some animations loop awkwardly.

This thing feels like somebody took a management sim, a broken-down harem VN and a pile of horny sci-fi doodles from a high school notebook, shook it hard and then forgot to polish it. You start as this loser tech kid living in a dusty warehouse full of dead sex robots, which is already funny because the game treats that like a normal career path. You’re fixing up bots to keep the shop alive, juggling repairs, dates and money, while ogling everything with tits that walks in. Or doesn’t walk, some of them just lie there on a workbench with their chassis open and you’re basically licking your lips over a spreadsheet. It sounds awful, I know, but it actually works in a kinda trashy, “I shouldn’t enjoy this” way. The whole vibe is like a maid cafe from the future crashed into a junkyard, and now you’re the only idiot trying to organize it. Half the time you’re checking stats, the other half you’re trying to decide if you want to upgrade a servo or see if that new robot maid will let you push her face down on the counter and suck you off as a “function test”. That part is… yeah, the game leans hard into that.

What really made my brain start generating fanart ideas is how it mixes dirty robot fetish with normal romance stuff without warning. You’ll have this soft little scene where you’re talking to a shy maid bot about purpose and feelings and identity, and two clicks later she’s on her knees, drooling on your cock while you grip her synthetic hair and watch her eyes glitch. Those eyes are perfect for painting, by the way, that glossy plastic with a tiny reflection of neon warehouse light while she’s doing a messy blowjob test. Then she stands up, wipes her mouth like a good maid, and the game throws in some dumb joke that actually made me snort, something about warranty periods voided by titfucks. It doesn’t even pretend to be tasteful. There’s a whole thing where you “optimize efficiency” by groping their huge asses under their maid uniforms, just casually, while you check their diagnostics. One scene had me “recalibrating tactile sensors” by sliding my hand between her thighs, teasing her, then pushing her onto a table for a slow, vanilla vaginal fuck that looks anything but vanilla because she’s in full cosplay maid gear and calling you master with that slightly-off robot smile. And then later there’s this bit with an organic girl and a robot in the same room that gets into cheating territory, where you’re basically using the sexbot as an excuse and you know exactly what you’re doing. I kind of hated that I liked it.

I keep thinking about painting one of the bots sitting in your lap in the workshop, half-disassembled, wires showing at her shoulder, but her huge tits are perfectly intact and pressed around your cock. Her hands are covered in oil while she gives you a slow handjob and you can see your reflection in her chrome collar. Stuff like that is all over the place in the game. There’s interracial bodies in there too, which looks really nice in that slightly clunky 3D style they use, skin tones against shiny metal, big asses in tight maid skirts bending over robot parts, like some weird future cafe where the menu is just “services”. The whole thing stumbles between goofy humor and horny trainer sim, sometimes you’re managing schedules, sometimes you’re watching a fully animated titfuck with audio that’s a bit off, like the moans come a tiny bit late, and it bugs me every single time. I kept noticing that, and then forgetting it again when the camera angles change and you get that close shot of a maid’s lips around the tip, drool dripping on your balls, her voice module glitching while she tries to keep saying her cute line. It’s rough, a bit ugly here and there, menus feel clunky on mobile, but my head is already full of little watercolor thumbnails of broken sexbots in stained maid uniforms, kneeling in dark corners of the warehouse, waiting for you to “repair” them in all the wrong ways.