Grand Butt-Sex Hotel feels like the kind of game teenage me always dreamed about finding on some shady Flash site, except now it actually runs smooth on my phone and doesn’t crash when the good part starts. You play this kinda hapless dude who walks into this fancy hotel thinking “oh cool, job, money, normal life maybe” and instead you get thrown into a place where the managers and guests are mostly tall smug futa ladies with thick thighs, huge tits and way too much money, who look at you like you’re a walking stress toy. The whole vibe is luxury mixed with porn parody, like someone mashed a five-star resort with one of those cursed hentai doujins you pretend you “found by accident”. You’re basically staff and chew-toy at the same time. One second you’re talking politely at the front desk, the next a classy futa businesswoman is pushing you against the counter and making you suck her cock while the elevator dings in the background. The game treats that as completely normal, which is honestly kinda funny and hot at same time.

What really hit my nostalgia brain is how the humor and horny stuff are glued together. The dialogue is full of dumb jokes, weird “rich people fetish” lines, and that slightly awkward English that somehow makes the dirty talk work better. There’s this scene where a petite “trap” guest shows up looking cute and shy, then calmly pulls out a suitcase full of toys and asks if you’re “hotel-certified” for anal service, like it’s spa menu item. You get the dating sim vibe, picking how polite or thirsty your responses are, and it actually changes how hard they ride you later. One futa with a giant ass teases you for being “vanilla” if you only go for oral, then drags you to her room, bends you over the bed and you feel like you’re signing a contract with your asshole. Some of the animations are nicely timed with the moans, especially the oral shots where your head is bobbing and her balls tap your chin, but then sometimes a loop will reset at a weird moment and my brain just goes “why did her hips teleport”. And the loading between scenes on mobile Chrome lagged right during a blowjob payoff, which annoyed me more than it should, but I still kept playing, because of course I did.

The hotel setting lets them throw in all kinds of guests: tall dark-skinned futa with big tits who treats you like a room amenity, some smug white CEO type who wants you on your knees under the table during “business calls”, a nerdy girl with glasses who secretly has the thickest cock and uses a vibrating toy in your ass while she scrolls on her phone, barely looking at you. There are races mixed, body types, a lot of big asses pressing you into fancy sheets. Sometimes the female domination goes pretty hard, like humiliating dirty talk while they make you lick their shaft clean after anal, and other times it’s oddly sweet, like a futa patting your head after using you and tipping you like a good bellboy. It’s funny, because the game pretends to be this outrageous fetish buffet, but the thing that stuck with me most was one quiet moment in a hallway, where you’re exhausted, cum probably still dripping somewhere, and a guest just smirks, adjusts her bulge, and tells you she booked you for “wake-up service” tomorrow. That tiny little line hit way harder in my head than half the loud scenes. Also, the hotel lobby music slaps in the weirdest way. I caught myself humming it while opening TikTok, which is completely wrong for this kind of game and now my brain is cursed forever.

Starship discipline is completely fucked here, in the funniest, dirtiest way possible. You get handed the captain’s chair on the Cerritos, but it feels more like they dumped you in a floating frat house filled with horny degenerates in Starfleet colors. Everyone is used to Admiral Freeman looking the other way, so when you start trying to clean things up, the crew basically tells you to suck it. Half the time you’re walking down a corridor and some ensign has their uniform half open, covered in cum, trying to hide a hard-on or wiping drool off their lips after “checking the sonic shower.” The ship looks like Star Trek, but the mood is more like a super trashy porn parody where nobody remembered the part about “professional behavior.” And you are absolutely encouraged to abuse that.

The center of the chaos is Beckett Mariner, of course. She knows you can’t just throw the admiral’s daughter out an airlock, so she tests every limit she can. One moment she’s lounging in your chair with her boots on the console, tits almost spilling out of her uniform jacket, fake-innocent face and those stupid ahegao eyes when you finally snap and drag her into the ready room. The game really likes that shift from “smartass brat” to “corrupted little cumtoy,” especially when you start using blackmail. You catch her in compromising spots, collect dirty data, and then slowly push things from “get on your knees and swallow” to “bend over the tactical console, I want to see just how tight that ass is.” She resists in that playful way at first, talks back, but the art leans heavy into humiliation: tears in the corners of her eyes, tongue out, mascara a mess, expression halfway between hating you and begging you to creampie her again. The AI-style CG is weirdly perfect for this kind of parody, everything slightly exaggerated, breasts too big for regulation uniforms, cumshots overdramatic, but it fits the whole “cheap bootleg holodeck program” vibe. And it is animated, so you really sit there watching her get filled, milk leaking, mouth drooling, your choices affecting if she ends up more broken-in, covered in bukkake like a used toy, or still pretending she’s in control while she rides you and moans your rank.

What caught me off guard is how the game doesn’t just stop at “straight captain dominates bratty officer.” Lower deck kids and random crew open up way dirtier routes. You walk into the cargo bay and spot two male ensigns “wrestling,” cocks out, one already dripping. That can spiral into you forcing them to service you as punishment, lining them up and choosing who takes you in the ass, who licks your balls clean, who drinks the load. There is gay stuff that doesn’t feel like an afterthought, more like the ship is just completely horny and nobody cares about orientation anymore. Then there is the whole trap and futa angle, uniforms hiding surprise dicks, big tits paired with a throbbing cock that strains the Starfleet fabric. One minute you think you’re punishing a cute, shy communications officer, next moment she drops her pants and you’re staring at a hard shaft and a wet slit both, and the game just goes “yeah, use all of it.” You can force them to suck you, fuck them until their own cum sprays on the control panel, or take it yourself if you lean into being a greedy captain who wants every hole filled. There are scenes where you make an officer pump milk out of her huge tits right onto the floor while everyone watches, or you order a line of crew to kneel and finish them off one by one, covering faces and mouths until they look like someone set a bukkake filter over a still from Lower Decks. Then there are cheating bits, too: married officers getting reamed in your quarters, whispering that their partner doesn’t touch them like this, while you record everything for later blackmail. It’s unapologetically trashy, sometimes mean, and occasionally so over the top you just start laughing, but it keeps that Star Trek parody flavor through all the corruption, like a filthy holodeck program somebody forgot to lock with a command code.

The city feels cold as hell in this game, not because of the weather but because your rich-boy ass suddenly has to live like a “normal” student. Tiny dorm, cheap furniture, the kind of fluorescent light that makes your skin look like shit. You arrive there full of attitude, half annoyed, half bored, not really expecting anything except exams and maybe some boring campus sex. Then on that first lonely night you sneak out to buy snacks or whatever, and this is where everything flips. There’s this boy outside the store, skinny, layered clothes that don’t really fit, eyes a bit too sharp for someone who should be begging. Ash. He warns you about the area like he knows every dirty corner, every guy who is just waiting to drag some idiot into an alley. He should feel like a background character. He doesn’t. He feels like trouble you want to touch.

Back in the dorm you can’t stop thinking about him, which is kind of fucked because you barely know him, and also because up to now you were playing the “straight but open-minded” card in your head. You start justifying it as pity at first. He needs a place to crash. You need someone to help out with chores. Simple deal. Except when he actually stands in your doorway with his bag, the air gets so thick you almost click away from the game by reflex. He looks too pretty for “homeless guy”. Soft mouth, messy hair that looks like it should smell bad but you just imagine grabbing it. And the way he glances around your room, careful, like he’s scared to break something, that hits a weird kink. There’s this trap vibe to him too, sort of soft and androgynous, like your brain has to double check what your dick already decided. The voyeur stuff kicks in fast. Shared space, tight bathroom, shitty curtains. You catch him changing out of his layers, lean body, flat chest, a dick that doesn’t match how shy his voice sounds. You hover in the doorway too long. You look in the mirror to watch him in the shower instead of turning your head. The game knows exactly how to drag you into those moments where you “accidentally” see too much, then pretends it’s your fault.

What surprised me is how much the romance creeps up behind all the horny parts. One second you are staring at the way his underwear clings when it’s damp, the next second you feel weirdly protective because some random NPC called him a stray like he’s a dog. The choices matter in that quiet way where a simple “Do you sleep on the bed or the floor?” can snowball into him either trusting you enough to crawl under your blanket or staying politely distant. The tension is slow. You sit on the same shitty couch, shoulders almost touching, watching some dumb show on Netflix, and you feel your cursor hovering over every option that might push him just a bit closer. Sometimes he teases you, sometimes he just shrinks into himself, and there were moments where I wished the game would let me be more of an asshole but it refuses, like it is in love with its own sad puppy. The CGs are AI made, you can feel it in the smooth skin and slightly off hands, but they still hit. There’s a scene where he’s wearing your clothes, sleeves too long, dick half hard under your cheap sweatpants, eyes wet in that “I shouldn’t want this” way, and even if you hate AI art, you will stare. Sex is not fireworks, more like two lonely idiots trying stuff in a small room, touching slow, kissing like they both think it might vanish any second. It’s messy and a bit unpolished, like their first time is happening at the same speed as your own thoughts catching up to what you actually want from another guy. You might wish the city outside had more to do, more danger, more filthy encounters spying from windows or stairwells, but somehow the tiny dorm becomes its own little box of desire, where you watch him sleep, listen to his breathing, and wonder how far you can push this sweet, scared, pretty boy who keeps calling you kind while desperately grinding against your leg.

This thing starts like you woke up inside some fucked up femdom hentai Reddit thread that got too much budget and too much soap opera. You die, blink, and boom, new world where every woman looks like she could crush your skull with her thighs and every dude looks like they escaped from a pastel boykisser meme and never touched their own dick on purpose. You’re the weird one here, the “normal” guy from a world where porn tabs are just part of morning routine, suddenly stuck in a place where girls are horny like teenage boys and boys act like sex is a chore and feelings are a weapon. Society is panicking, fertility going to shit, so everybody is slowly losing it in different ways. On the surface it’s funny, like parody of isekai and those dumb “Amazon planet” comics, and then it goes “ok now mommy wants to ride you while lecturing you about family values” and it doesn’t blink.

Your new “family” is where it gets horny and messy at the same time. They treat you like this pure puppy they can train, all soft and innocent, while the screen is literally showing your adoptive milf licking precum off your shaft and calling it “research.” They think you don’t know what’s going on. Joke is on them, you’re corrupt little shit from the start, but the game kinda makes you work up to it. Early on there is a ton of teasing: shower doors left half open, tight shirts with nipples poking through, “accidental” grinding during hugs, long POV shots of you trying not to cum in your pants while someone’s amazon ass is right in your face. There is masturbation scenes everywhere, like everyone in this house has different idea of “me time.” The mom going at it with a monster toy that actually reacts and wiggles, the bratty femboy cousin hate-masturbating while calling all other males trash, that one ghost girl that literally jerks you off while invisible and you watch your cock move in the air with sloppy sounds. Half paranormal horror, half “I’m cumming on nothing, what the fuck.”

Sex itself is pretty wild. It is not just “press button, insert dick, win.” The girls are big, strong, usually in charge, pinning you on the bed, grabbing your throat, riding you until you start begging, then laughing at you for being such a good little toy. Lots of corruption vibes both ways. At first they try to keep you “cute” and soft, dressing you in girly clothes, thigh highs, even trying to tuck you in like some sissy femboy. Then you slowly start using their own kinks against them. You get scenes where you suddenly rail the milf from behind while she tries to keep her “I’m in control” voice and just ends up drooling and shaking, or you make the proud amazon sister blush like crazy when you pull her hair and whisper nasty stuff in her ear. There is lesbian stuff on the side when you watch two monster girls going at each other, one with futa cock slapping around and dripping, while you either jerk to it or end up in the middle like human toy. The camera goes full POV sometimes, like your field of vision is just thighs clapping on your hips, tits bouncing in your face, sweat and spit flying, your own voice somewhere between moan and panic. It is hot, it is kinda wrong, and the game knows it and keeps poking at you about “saving the world” while you’re balls deep in someone who calls you “son” with a straight face.