I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Whole thing feels like someone mashed a horny VN with an old Resident Evil save room and then forgot to add actual zombies in more than once every ten minutes. You’re the only dude in this ragtag camp that looks like it smells of sweat, cheap deodorant and dried blood, stuck with women who are way too hot for the world to be falling apart. They’re all tense, tired, half broken, living in this shitty half-collapsed building surrounded by groaning corpses, and yet the main problem in your head is how badly you want to fuck at least half the group. It’s not subtle. The game doesn’t even try to pretend you’re noble. You’re supposed to be “helping the group survive” but the first thing you notice is titties spilling out of ripped tops and shorts that would get you kicked from a normal Discord server. And the best part is that the MC knows he is a creep. He just keeps going anyway.

Scenes kind of creep up on you. One moment you’re arguing over how much food is left or who guards the door tonight, next thing you’re peeking around a corner while one of the girls fingers herself in a sleeping bag, thinking no one can see. Camera just sits there, watching her bite her lip, watching her try so hard to be quiet so the others don’t wake up, and of course your idiot protagonist is tenting his pants while you click through inner monologue like “should I leave, should I keep staring, should I pull my cock out and stroke it right here.” You can. The game lets you be that much of a degenerate. You choose how far to push it, like staying longer, risking her catching you, dick in hand, or backing away and then later pretending you “heard a noise.” There’s even this scene where you’re on watch duty on the roof, she sneaks up to “talk,” and the talk somehow ends with her on her knees, giving this messy, rushed blowjob while zombies shuffle around down on the street. I liked that the game doesn’t romanticize it much, it’s awkward, she’s grumpy, you’re half scared, you cum anyway. Classic.

Sometimes it feels more like a porn chat story someone made in Ren’Py while horny on X and HentaiFoundry in the background. A lot of clicking, a lot of text, then suddenly a choice that actually matters: do you own up to the shitty thing you did earlier, or lie your way out and risk being kicked out of camp later. You do a brave thing once, and the game never lets you forget it, like “yeah you saved us from zombies but you also tried to jerk off on watch, maybe chill.” There is piss stuff too, out of nowhere. One girl is too scared to go pee alone outside because she heard moans behind the fence, so you go with her, and the scene just becomes this weird mix of fear and lust. She squats behind a ruined car, panties around her boot, you hear the stream hit the cracked concrete, she’s blushing, and you’re staring way too hard. Game happily lets you beat your meat over that if you angle your choices right. It’s dirty in this very specific way, like old pixel porn games from Newgrounds except everything is cleaner and the tits are bigger and actually bounce a bit. I tried playing it on my phone in Chrome once and almost alt tabbed to Reddit too fast when the anal scene started, her face half pressed into some moldy mattress while you’re pounding her, trying not to scream because there might be zombies hearing you. Honestly I kinda love how clumsy some dialogue is, like lines that sound like they were written by someone who learned English from Pornhub comments, but at the same time I kept thinking “who the hell chooses this stiff font for horny stuff.” That font annoys me so much and I never got used to it. Anyway, half the game is just you stuck between being a half decent survivor and a total creep who will risk the entire group just to get a handjob behind the barricaded door. And somehow that mix works way better than it should.