Waifu Academy feels like someone tried to mash a porn comic, a shitty revenge fantasy, and a weird mobile gacha leveling system into one thing, then forgot to polish it, and somehow that actually makes it kinda interesting. You start as this guy who got fucked over hard in the past, and now he’s basically weaponizing horny to ruin people’s lives at a private academy. It’s not subtle. One minute you’re pretending to be a normal student in a classic school setting with teachers and uniforms, next minute you’re cornering a busty milf in a “private tutor” scene where her huge tits are hanging out while she’s trying to keep her dignity and totally failing at it. The game is obsessed with big boobs and big asses, like half the camera angles feel like they’re coming from a porn director who only knows two shots: face and ass. And honestly, that’s fine. There’s a lot of ahegao too, girls with their eyes rolled back and tongues out while you rail them, even when the situation is supposed to be humiliating or “serious”, which just makes it even more degenerate.

From a gamification angle, it’s a mess that somehow works. You’ve got these branching choices where you decide who to humiliate, who to “save”, who to turn into your obedient waifu, but the UI acts like it’s a visual novel, while the logic underneath is more like some ghetto morality system. Pick one dialogue option and suddenly a proud femdom teacher is letting you grope her under her desk. Pick another and she’s making you jerk off while she mocks your dick size, laughing in your face. The corruption curve is slow on some girls and insanely fast on others. There’s a schoolgirl in uniform who goes from shy hand-holding to anal in what feels like three scenes, while another character needs five separate “accidental” groping events and one hardcore group situation before she cracks. Sometimes it feels like you’re min-maxing kinks instead of stats. And then there is that one hallway scene, where you’re supposed to be stealthy, but if you trigger the wrong choice, it just jumps straight to an exhibitionism event with a girl pressed against a locker, panties around her knees, getting fingered while random students walk by like this is totally normal.

What caught me off guard is how the game treats humiliation as a reward track. You’re not just collecting CG scenes, you’re basically unlocking different flavors of shame. A character starts with light teasing, then you push her into masturbation scenes where she’s forced to finger herself on command, then later you get full-on group stuff where she’s covered in cum and making that broken ahegao face, and the game treats that progression almost like leveling a skill tree. Same with cheating: some “pure” waifu types have boyfriends who exist only so you can fuck them behind their backs, and your choices can push them into that “I know this is wrong but fuck it” corruption path. It’s cruel, and sometimes it actually feels too mean, especially when the domination flips and a femdom girl is riding you, slapping your face and calling you trash while you’re the one who set everything up. I hated that. Then I replayed it to see the alt route where you turn that same girl into a submissive pet in a hardcore anal scene in some empty classroom, bent over the teacher’s desk, drooling and begging for more. And the game doesn’t stop to judge any of it. It’s just “here’s your fucked up fantasy, have fun breaking everyone at this academy” and then throws another branching choice at you like a horny spreadsheet you’ll never fully finish.

Power Fantasy Mayor is one of those games that looks stupid in the best way and then suddenly you realize you are min-maxing orgasms like it’s a gacha spreadsheet. The setup is simple: city in chaos, weird virus, council is gone, you are the last idiot standing and now you are the mayor with absolute authority over everyone’s body and life. The story pretends to care about morality for about five minutes, then it basically asks you: do you want to be a half decent guy who still uses his new power to peek at tits from the CCTV system, or do you just go full corruption route and turn the whole town into your personal porn studio. It calls itself a “choice” game and technically that’s true, but let’s be honest, when the game gives you a dialogue like “protect citizen” or “check how deep she can take it”, it already knows what button you will click.

What I liked a lot, from a gamification nerd view, is how the corruption and affection numbers work almost like a fake RPG level system. Every time you pass some new law or push your power too far, the city’s “mood” shifts and scenes unlock that literally didn’t exist before. You think it’s just flavor text, but then suddenly that strict teacher you saw in a boring meeting earlier is now sneaking into your office after curfew, panting, on her knees, because your new “mandatory health inspection” order says the mayor needs to personally “check oral reflexes”. There is zero subtlety. It’s funny. One time I forced through a curfew rule just to see what happens, and next in-game day there’s a scene where two girls try to sneak past the patrols, get caught on camera, and you watch the replay first like some voyeur cop, then you can literally teleport there using your weird paranormal powers and decide if you punish them with public anal or pretend to be nice and invite them into a “safe room”. I picked the fake nice route and the game still rewarded me with them making out on the couch and you just sit there as mayor, watching, waiting until they pull you in. Consent is… flexible here.

The superpower stuff is funny because it feels like the dev had one idea after reading a bad hentai doujin and just layered everything on top. Sometimes you are reading about infection rates, then suddenly you freeze time so you can walk around a locker room, stripping the bustiest girl in the squad and positioning her like a doll, then unpause and watch her lose it with full ahegao because now her bra just “mysteriously vanished” in front of her classmates. There is also this whole thing with public speeches where you can influence mass behavior: pick a calm, responsible speech and the city becomes manageable, or you go full cult leader, shirt slightly open, promising “new freedoms” and the whole square turns into a huge exhibitionist playground later. The game doesn’t explain the math, but there is clearly some hidden stat that tracks how degenerate your policies are, because after a while even random NPCs start doing lesbian stuff in back alleys if you keep making pervy laws. The harem angle is both fun and kind of broken: you collect girls from different factions, each with her own corruption level, but once they all live in your mansion, scenes start to repeat with tiny changes and it feels a bit like using the same sticker pack on Telegram for every reply. Also the UI has this tiny confirm button on the bottom right that you have to hit every time you change a policy and it drove me crazy for like twenty minutes straight and I still hate it. Anyway, the best part for me was when I passed a law about “mandatory camera checks” and then later caught my own security chief on-screen, on her knees, choking on a dildo-shaped training device she swears is “for interrogation practice” while your character just laughs and tells her to prove it on the real thing. The game pretends to be about saving a city but it’s actually about how far you can push people until they beg you to own them.

There is this quiet kind of loneliness that only a phone screen knows. You open some app, scroll like a zombie, close it, feel nothing. This game kind of sneaks into that empty space and says, “okay, what if your notifications were from a needy, horny, slightly broken femboy who actually remembers what you said yesterday?” You’re just a guy, he’s just a guy, and still it feels weirdly fated, like some cheap isekai destiny but on Android. Alex shows up on your phone like it was always meant, sending cute selfies where his eyeliner is a bit smudged and his lips look too soft for your own good, and then two messages later he’s talking about sucking you off like it’s a casual thing between homework and Netflix. It starts sweet, really warm, with little teasing texts, voice notes, “I miss you, babe” type stuff, and before you notice you’re negotiating if he’s allowed to wear that short skirt in public, or if he should ask your permission to touch himself in the shower. Sometimes he does it anyway and only tells you after, like he wants to be caught. That part really fucked with my head in a good way, watching him drift between loyal puppy and dangerous little slut, and feeling like each tap of my thumb was pulling him somewhere softer or somewhere darker.

The cheating angle is not just some random plot sticker here. The game actually makes you feel that slow itch in your chest when you see Alex sending a selfie at night from a place you don’t recognize, makeup a bit too perfect, collar a bit too tight. There is this moment where he sends you a shaky picture of his ass with someone’s hand on his hip, but you don’t see the face, and your choices are like: pretend you did not see, ask gently, or completely lose your shit. I picked the “play cool” option and honestly it hurt more, because he starts pushing that line again and again. Corruption isn’t just for him either, it bites at you. You start as normal guy who just wants a cute boyfriend and some vanilla blowjob under the blanket, then the game tempts you with voyeur stuff, making him send videos while he’s riding some toy, or making him secretly record when another guy “helps” him with his “needs”. And if you let yourself go down that road, there is this heavy feeling like you are creating your own NTR hell on purpose, like your destiny is to watch instead of touch. I caught myself staring at an AI-style CG of Alex with his legs spread, cum running out of his fucked ass, and instead of just thinking “hot”, I had this weird ache like, “damn, this is my fault, I’m the one who pushed him there”. Then I laughed, because it’s just pixels, but you know that moment when hentai feels a bit too personal? Yeah, that. The pacing is messy sometimes, texts jump from cute to hardcore in a way that feels like bad signal on WhatsApp, but somehow that also makes it feel real, like a chaotic relationship you can’t fully control. The romance is sugary and rotten at the same time, you can jerk off to it, or you can stare at the screen after a rough scene and wonder when exactly your sweet little femboy turned into a cock-hungry toy for other guys while you just sit there, thumb hovering over the “send” button, pretending this is what you wanted all along.

Pale Carnations feels like someone took a very proper medical student, stripped out his sense of safety, then tossed him face first into the kind of club you normally only see mentioned in Telegram chats that vanish after a week. You start as this uptight guy who really believes he’s still on a straight path, and then your old friend drags you into the Carnation Club, which is basically a brothel pretending to be an art space. The game doesn’t even try to warm you up slowly. One minute you’re talking about exams, the next you’re standing in a “performance hall” where three women are being judged like twisted idols for how well they take pain, shame and a whole lot of cum. The first night, when you have to guide one of the girls through a show, pushed to choose between making it romantic, cruel, or just filthy efficient, that’s where it clicked for me. This isn’t just porn with clicks. It’s about how far you’re willing to go when everyone keeps telling you it’s normal to choke a girl on stage while rich assholes clap in the dark.

The sound in this thing really surprised me. Not “triple A” surprised, more like “why does this muffled moan in the background feel more real than the entire Spotify sexy playlist I’ve got”. There’s this scene where you’re backstage with an older woman who clearly knows the club better than you ever will. She presses your hand to her ass while she quietly instructs you how to handle your “performer”, her voice soft but absolutely in control, and in the distance you hear the audience roar when someone gets spanked hard enough to cry. The track underneath is this slow, slightly dirty lounge loop, a bit off tempo, almost cheap, but it fits so well that I ended up replaying that scene just to hear the way her breathing synced with the bass line. Then later the game swaps to this almost tender piano piece while you’re literally arranging who gets groped on stage and who gets humiliated in private. I liked that a lot. Or maybe I didn’t. It made it harder to pretend this is just mindless fap material when the music keeps whispering “you’re kind of a bastard for choosing the harsher option, you know?” and then rewards you with the wettest, messiest creampie CG three clicks later. The game loves that contrast. Romance on the surface, anal and public bukkake in the back room, ahegao faces in full view while the MC still tells himself he’s a good guy. It’s not subtle, and it’s not trying to be. There’s cheating, masturbation breaks that feel a bit too honest, toys pulled out at the worst possible time, and a lot of rich people treating human bodies like decoration. I wish the little clicking sound on some menu wasn’t so loud, actually, it annoyed me from the start and I kept meaning to change it, then got distracted every single time some milf in heels called me “doctor” and bent over a piece of BDSM furniture like it was a confession booth. Anyway, the club keeps going, the performances get rougher, and your choices keep twisting the knife, mostly in you.

You start as this kinda washed up freelance coder, broke as hell, living in a cluttered apartment that feels way too real if you ever tried to work from home with ten Chrome tabs, Discord, and Pornhub open together. The game drops you right in the middle of money problems, a half-finished “special software” project, and then, boom, your niece ends up moving in after a fight with her mom about college. It sounds like generic porn setup, but the pacing is strangely patient. There’s a lot of slow build, a lot of just… looking. Peeking. Checking your phone, checking her job search tabs, checking her ass when she bends over to pick something up. The voyeur thing creeps up, it’s not like: “here is the voyeur scene.” It feels more like watching someone’s OnlyFans leak, where you know you’re not supposed to have access but you keep scrolling anyway.

They go really hard on the “corruption” angle, but in a way that’s less cartoon villain and more death-by-a-thousand-little-touches. You see her walk around barefoot and at first it’s nothing, then a few scenes later the camera lingers on her feet resting on the table, close to your plate, and suddenly the game goes, “yeah, you’re into that now.” And it kind of works. The first time she absent-mindedly rubs her heel along your thigh while watching some stupid Netflix romcom in the background, I actually had to pause because it felt almost accidental, like a mistake in animation, but then the text calls it out and you realize, nah, that shit was on purpose. The footjob scene later hits harder because of this slow drip. I still think the toes are animated weird, but by that point I didn’t care.

Sex wise it jumps all over the place, like someone dumping their Pornhub search history directly into Ren’Py. You get classic masturbation scenes where you catch her in the bathroom and just watch through a tiny gap. There is a lot of groping that starts soft and then crosses a line so quietly that when anal suddenly shows up it doesn’t feel like a new fetish, more like “ok, we finally admitted where this was going.” One moment you’re just helping her practice for a “massage therapist” job she found on some sketchy job site, and next she’s straddling you, grinding slowly, calling you out for staring at her tits, all while you pretend to “test” your software. Honestly that part is kind of genius and kind of stupid at the same time, because the whole app interface inside the story is more customizable than the real game UI, which is ironic in a bad way.

From accessibility angle, I was swearing at my monitor more than once. Text size is tiny by default and the font is thin, and when you try to bump it up in the options, yeah, you can change it, but then some menus clip out of their boxes like they never tested it on anything bigger than a laptop. I play on a 1440p screen and the dialogue box hugs the very bottom with no padding. If you have any visual strain, you’ll feel it fast. No high-contrast mode, no colorblind choices, and the highlight for selected choices is this faint little color shift that disappeared completely when I had f.lux + low brightness on. I missed a choice because I genuinely couldn’t see which line was active, and this is in a porn game where a single click can flip from “voyeur teasing” to full-on group sex with the milf neighbor and her babysitter friend. Speaking of them, the lesbian scenes between those two are actually some of the best in the game, low on dialogue, high on body language, but again, the camera sometimes zooms on pale skin on pale background and the subtitles stay light gray. Good luck if your eyesight is shit.

I tried running it on my Steam Deck through the browser, and the touch targets for the menu are too small, especially the scroll bar for the gallery. The CG scenes are hot, like when the niece is bent over your desk, getting spanked while pretending it’s some “motivation” to finish her job search, but the thumbnails are tiny and there’s no text description for them, so if you have trouble with visual recognition or you just want to know “is this the anal one or the voyeur shower one?” you’re stuck opening each. No audio description either, not even basic subtitles for background sounds. There are moans and footsteps and door sounds that matter for the voyeur routes, but if you need clarity and rely on text, you’ll miss the whole “she caught you peeking” switch because it’s sound based. I love how careful the story is with the slow corruption and cheating vibes, yet the interface feels like it was thrown together at the end of a long night on too much coffee. Or not enough.

Free City is trashy in the best way, like that one bar where the floor sticky, the cocktails weak, and somehow you still end up naked in the bathroom with someone you met ten minutes ago. You play this private eye who is supposed to care about some "suicide case," but baby, the man investigating is thirstier than the whole police department. Every time I tried to follow a clue I ended up following a pair of tits instead. And the game knows it. It throws curves at you all the time, big boobs everywhere, big asses trying to distract you while you pretend to be professional. You question a widow, she is crying, mascara running, and two clicks later she is on the couch with her legs open, asking you in that fake innocent voice if you can "comfort" her. Sure, girl, I bring the comfort and the condom. The whole visual novel flow is slow enough to tease, but not that boring otome slow where you need three hours just to see a hand touch. Here, one wrong answer and suddenly you have her on all fours, her ass up, and the screen full of thick cg that looks like it came straight out of someone’s secret folder named "do_not_open". Then you realize she has a husband. Or had. Or has a boyfriend too. Honestly I lost track, because everyone cheating on everyone and I was sitting there sipping my iced coffee like a messy therapist watching a live soap opera.

The best part is how the game keeps pretending it is a serious noir story while you are busy corrupting half the city. One moment you talk about crime, motives, evidence, being all "hard-boiled detective", the next you are balls-deep in some interracial group scene where you forgot why you came there in the first place. There is romance if you want it, that sugary "I care about you" vibe, but the romance quickly turns into "tie me up and spit in my mouth" if you push the right dialogue options. Some of those bdsm scenes come out of nowhere. You flirt a little, do the soft hand touch, then boom, she is naked, wrists bound to the headboard, big tits pressed together with rope, and you decide if you want to be gentle or absolutely ruin her. And sometimes the game just goes, "Oh, you like girls too?" and hands you a lesbian scene with a side of voyeurism, while you stand back like a sleazy director watching two women go from shy kisses to full tongue, fingers, and one of them riding the other’s face until the bedsheets look like a crime scene by themselves. The group sex bits are wild but messy in a fun way, people grabbing whatever body part in reach, someone taking it in the ass while moaning about how they should not be doing this, someone else with cum dripping on their big boobs, and the story still trying to tell you, "hey, remember, murder mystery?" No, babe, I remember her legs shaking when I picked the "harder" option. The only thing that annoyed me was one tiny sound effect during a climax that sounded like someone stirring mac and cheese in a plastic bowl, threw me right out for a second, and now I cannot stop thinking about it. But anyway, every time I thought I would play just a bit and close the tab, suddenly I am six choices deep into another affair, lying to one character while fucking another in an alley, my detective morally bankrupt and my browser history screaming help.

You start as this clueless 18-year-old thrown into Hogwarts University, and the first thing that hits you isn’t some epic prophecy or dark lord, it’s how horny literally everyone is under the “serious academic” surface. It feels like some fanfic writer drank too much coffee and said, “what if all that sexual tension in the books actually went somewhere” and then just never stopped typing. You walk in, you get sorted, professors try to act professional, but every corridor, every classroom, every dorm has that vibe. You’re supposed to be learning spells and building stats like in a normal RPG, but half the time you’re thinking, “ok, if I raise my charisma two more points, can I finally convince Hermione to stop pretending she doesn’t want it?” The game knows exactly why you’re here. It just plays coy for a while, then opens up like a fucking floodgate.

What I really liked is how the “main” story keeps its pants on longer than you expect. You can just play it as a weird school-life dating sim where nothing too crazy happens, just some flirting, touching, maybe a blowjob in a quiet tower if you push things. But if you start poking around side quests, oh boy. You find that weird basement club where somebody is studying mind control “purely for research”, and next thing you’re watching a good little girl like Ginny suddenly agree to spread her legs for your big cock because someone tweaked her thoughts. Or you’re helping Luna “understand male anatomy” in some abandoned classroom, and she’s on her knees, eyes shining, drool on her chin, trying to take you all the way down while mumbling something about “proper field work”. The scene where Nymphadora Tonks shapeshifts her body a bit just to fit you deeper while she rides you is the kind of detail that sticks in your head longer than it should. And then there’s Hermione, trying to stay in control, correcting you on spell names while you’re burying yourself in her tight virgin pussy for the first time. She tries to keep talking about exams, then she just breaks, clings to you, and you feel her shudder around you. That mix of “smart girl losing her composure” is porn gold, sorry.

The game is kinda evil with how many routes it hides behind simple choices. You joke with one girl instead of another, suddenly you’re tangled in some NTR chain where your “pure” crush is sneaking off to get reamed by a tentacled monstrosity from the forbidden section while you stand outside the door hearing those wet, sloppy sounds. Or you focus on a milf professor, help her grade papers, and there’s this small moment where she guides your hand to her tits while explaining some spell like it’s nothing. Later she’s on her desk, skirt up, ass exposed, begging you to go in her ass because “no one has to know if it leaves no marks”. The anal scenes actually feel different from the vaginal ones, not just copy paste text, and sometimes the animation even lines up with the dirty dialog in a way that made me stop and smile like an idiot. Not everything is that polished though. On mobile, swiping through menus sometimes makes the wrong dialogue option light up and I keep thinking “I’ll report that bug” but I just don’t. There’s a whole thing with a trans character too, where you can either be a supportive, horny bastard and enjoy her cock and tits together in a messy oral-threesome combo, or act like a jealous shit and push her into cheating stuff with other students. Some of the cheating scenes hit weirdly hard. One moment you’re happily dating, next you walk into a room and she’s full of someone else, moaning your name by accident. I wish the pregnancy stuff was a bit more reactive to all that, like more scenes where girls rub their swollen belly while you cum in them again, but whatever, it still scratches that breeding itch enough. And I swear the dorm hallway makes this one sound effect that annoys me every single time, but I keep playing anyway.

Space family trip sounds cute on paper, right? Like some Instagram thing with matching suits and zero gravity hugs. This is not that. Here you start as a regular married guy who just wants to pay the damn mortgage and get his two stepdaughters through college, and suddenly you’re stuck on a paid “social experiment” in space where everyone around you gets their memories deleted… except you. So they wake up in this high-tech station, no clue who you are, who they are to you, nothing. You still remember every family dinner, every birthday, every time they called you dad. And then the game just looks at you and basically asks: are you going to be a good man, or are you going to be a complete fucking monster?

What makes it feel nasty in a good way is how normal everything looks at first. Clean corridors, organized rooms, your wife chatting, the girls wandering around in their little sci-fi outfits, curious and clueless. You talk to them and they treat you like some random stranger, and that hits harder than any porn setup. There is this one early scene where the younger stepdaughter is just sitting by a big window, staring out at the planet, and you can either comfort her like a worried dad or slide into this slow corruption path, touching just a bit too long, saying just a bit too much. Game doesn’t scream at you that it’s “evil”, it just lets you do it and quietly keeps track. Of course, if you push it, you get the heavy stuff: cheating on your wife while she’s right there in the same station, NTR stuff where other guys start sniffing around your girls if you play too soft, breeding content if you go full degenerate and start knocking people up. Sometimes the camera hangs just a second longer on a stare, or on a hand on a hip, and it’s more erotic than the full-on sex scene that comes after. Or it’s just my brain being cooked, could be that too.

The sci-fi part is not just wallpaper either. You got weird labs where they test “compatibility”, voyeur points where you watch what the others are doing in the showers or private cabins, exhibition stuff where your stepdaughter is walking around half naked in some gravity adjustment test and doesn’t understand why the crew is drooling over her. There is this one voyeur scene where your wife thinks she’s single again and flirts with some tall alien-looking dude, and the game lets you decide if you just watch, interfere, or let it slide into full-on NTR and then pretend later you “didn’t see”. And the animations are dirty in a very physical way: skin-on-skin, rough BDSM sessions with cuffs and collars in a sterile white room, interracial gangbang in a research bay like it’s just another experiment. The whole thing feels like a long bad decision tree from an old choose-your-own-adventure book, except every “turn to page 78” is basically “do you keep your morals or do you fuck your whole family’s life up in the horniest way possible”. It’s gross, it’s hot, it makes you pause on the save screen way too often, and then you still click the worst option.

The village is burning, everybody screams about prophecy and clan wars, and you’re just there with your dick in your hand, realizing your family was hiding the wildest shit from you for generations. That is basically the feeling here. One second you are this “normal guy,” next second some ancient enemy shows up, kidnaps half the ninja world, and you find out that the only way to fix anything is to run around a big messy sandbox full of horny kunoichi who all, for some reason, need your cock more than therapy. It starts almost like a joke. You meet Hinata and she is shy, gentle, blushing, doing that soft eye thing while hinting that she is ready to “help” with your training. Two scenes later you’re getting your soul sucked out by her in a storage room while her husband is technically part of the plot somewhere out there. The game just goes “yeah, that’s a problem, but also look at her lips” and honestly I respect that.

What really hits is how it mixes this “hero must save everyone” story with the dirtiest family and village drama. You jump from Milf Tsunade grinding on you in some half-serious “medical exam,” to Sarada pretending she only wants to learn combat, then suddenly she is on her knees, drooling on your shaft in an alley while you keep checking if anyone is watching. The voyeur thing keeps coming back in small ways, like catching Temari touching herself through her shorts when she thinks no one is around, or spying on Mikoto in the bath, water sliding off her tits while she stares into distance like she already knows she is going to end up bent over for you anyway. Then the game hits you with loli stuff like Himawari or Hanabi looking way too eager to prove themselves and you sit there thinking, “ok, I am going to hell,” but you keep clicking. There is this one route where you corrupt a virgin girl so slowly, with teasing, little gropes, “accidental” touches during combat training, that by the time you finally go deep inside her she is begging you to breed her like you did to her mom. It is wrong on like ten levels and still hot as fuck.

The whole thing is also weirdly funny. Half the time it feels like a parody of the original series, like when Anko turns a serious mission briefing into a blowjob under the table, or when Karin keeps pretending she cares about “bloodlines” right before letting you rail her raw, talking about making the strongest baby while you are already cumming in her. One moment you’re involved in this heavy clan plot, with enemies, old grudges, revenge, and in the next scene Chocho jumps on you, riding you like some cheap motel toy, saying she deserves “main heroine” treatment. There is cheating everywhere, husbands and dads in danger while their wives and daughters moan your name. Sakura choking on your cock, Kurenai acting like a proper teacher until she spreads her legs and asks you to fill her just so she can “understand the corruption.” The game never really pretends to be moral. It just lets you stack a full harem of milfs, teens, lolis, Uzumaki redheads, Uchiha princesses, the whole village basically, and slowly turn them into your personal breeding toys, one by one, with vaginal, anal, oral, messy cumshots, pregnancy talk, the whole package. Every route feels like another bad ending for them and a secret happy ending for you, and if that sentence makes you smile even a little, yeah, this thing is made exactly for you.