weird thing: I didn’t expect this game to actually *feel* dirty in a fun way. yeah, everyone says “oh it’s a parody,” but this one leans into it like it’s proud of being a total mess. You start as Beast Boy, but not the goofy cartoon version - more like the “what-if-he-had-a-body-count” one. first scene had me snorting because the dialogue’s half self-aware, half horny nonsense. the art flickers between hot and kinda cursed, and somehow that mix works. I laughed once, then five seconds later I was staring at Raven’s face thinking, “wait, is she enjoying it or plotting my death?” both are hot, honestly.

it’s not subtle, not even pretending. tentacles? sure. futa twist? outta nowhere. then two minutes later you’re getting dominated by Harley like she’s running her own therapy session for bad boys. I swear the writing must’ve been done by five people with different fetishes fighting over the keyboard. Sometimes I hate that - then again, it keeps it unpredictable. One route had this whole corruption vibe where I thought I was winning, but turns out I was the pet by the end. didn’t even mind. the sound effects though… man, they go from soft moans to full-on sticky chaos real quick. I like it. except when they loop weirdly, makes me think my headphones broke.

Top 3 moments you’ll wanna screenshot? easy. 1) Power Girl’s “training scene” that escalates into something Olympic-level athletic. 2) Raven’s mirror sequence - don’t trust it, but do enjoy it. 3) Poison Ivy whispering stuff about roots and growth while you’re too distracted to care about plot. there’s a “moral choice” system but it mostly decides who calls you master or toy. I kept picking random answers just to see who’d snap first. pro tip: don’t rush; let every scene breathe, even the awkward ones. half the fun’s in those weird pauses where nothing happens but everything’s tense. feels human, messy, sexy.

You wake up naked on this cold, clinical ship, and the first thought that hits you is not some grand sci fi reflection about existence, it is just: “why is my ass on metal and why does it feel like I already did something wrong.” The game really leans into that mood. No memories, no past, no safety net. You are basically a walking bundle of holes and questions. And the ship, and later the crew, treat you exactly like that: something useful, desirable, breakable, and also somehow important. It has this strange mix where your body is public property half of the time, but your identity is a philosophical puzzle the rest of the time. Feels kind of like writing a thesis in your underwear while everyone is trying to finger you and also recruit you into a cult.

Since it is text based, the sex scenes live or die by the writing, and here the writing is dirty in a very... intentional way. There is a lot of teasing before actual fucking, and the game is very happy to keep you on that edge where you are being sexually harassed in corridors, pressed against bulkheads, groped during “medical exams,” and you keep telling yourself it is all to find out who you are. I liked when my female MC, with a dick and tits and a body I carefully min-maxed in character creation, gets pinned by this older officer type during what is supposed to be a serious mission briefing. He keeps talking about “protocol” while his hand is just stroking you under the table, casual as checking a datapad, and the text goes into stupid detail about how you try to keep a neutral face while your cock leaks on his glove and he pretends nothing is happening. That whole scene is more honest about power than half the ethics books on my shelf. You agree, you “consent,” but the whole situation is arranged so that saying no would feel like self sabotage. It is not preaching it, it just lets you feel the trap in your own body.

The kink toggles are the real philosophy lab here. You literally curate your own degradation. Turn on humiliation and suddenly your crewmates stop treating you like a colleague and more like a ship toy that accidentally learned to talk. Enable heavy bdsm and the same corridor where you walked earlier becomes a place where a dommy alien security officer can cuff you to a rail and use toys on you until you are crying and begging, then send you to your next quest with cum sliding down your thighs and this awkward “are we not going to talk about this” silence in the text. If you like gay stuff, or futa, or corruption arcs where a shy virgin protagonist slowly turns into a slut who needs cock or a strap in every port, the game is very willing to corrupt you, and it is so casual about it that it almost feels more violent. Drugs show up too, of course, because what is a space conspiracy without someone making you swallow something and then using your high, pliable body for “experiments.” Anal, oral, multiple penetration, group scenes where hands and mouths blur together until you are not sure which race is fucking which part of you. And yeah, sometimes the pacing is weird, like you are deep in a serious plot about conspiracies and identity and suddenly you are on your knees blowing a dilf captain while two crew members play with your nipples, and the game just moves on after like that is normal office behavior. It kind of is, here. I wish the interface on mobile did not make my thumb cover dialog choices at the worst times, but whatever, I keep doing it. The mix of dark atmosphere, trashy humor, existential dread, and the simple joy of getting railed by weird men of different colors and species in every other room of your own ship somehow works. Or maybe it does not “work” in any clean sense, it just keeps dragging you through its mess, and you stay, wet and annoyed and curious, because you want to see what else this body can be turned into.

The whole thing feels like someone tried to mash “How I Met Your Mother” together with a Pornhub search history and then pretended that was a normal idea. You start as this lanky, clueless virgin guy who keeps telling himself life is supposed to be “vanilla”, but absolutely nobody around him got that memo. One moment he’s playing the shy nice dude, overthinking every text on his phone, the next he’s in a cramped bathroom with a girl who wears a dress two sizes too tight, asking in a whisper if he’s “really never had a handjob before”. The game lives in that cringe line between comedy and pure horny chaos. There’s this weird honesty to it when he stares at some girl’s big tits for too long and then mentally insults himself for it, only to do it again five seconds later. It’s like the narrator read too much bad Reddit advice and then used it as a sexual life guide. And yeah, the first time he finally gets a handjob, it’s not some perfect porn rhythm, it’s messy, too fast, she laughs, he apologizes, then she tells him to shut up and just come. Nice touch that it doesn’t treat him like a sex god. He’s awkward, he nuts quick, and the game is kind of proud of that.

Humor hits often, but sometimes it keeps talking when it should just let the tits talk. There is this party scene where he’s high on something he absolutely should not mix with alcohol, and the pacing goes all over the place. One second he’s hallucinating his ex in the kitchen asking why he never made a move, next second he’s pressed into a balcony railing, some girl teasing him with slow grinding, pulling his zipper down so lazy it’s torture. She just keeps dragging her hand along his shaft through the jeans, saying she wants to “hear him beg properly” before she even starts a real stroke. That scene is like a slow-cooked stew that somebody keeps lifting the lid on: smells amazing, but you wait forever before actually eating. But when she finally kneels and unbuttons everything, the writing snaps back into focus. Her lips wrap around him, he tries to stay quiet so nobody inside hears, and the text actually captures that panicky brain chatter while getting a blowjob in public. She spits on his cock, strokes him with that slick sound that you can basically hear with your eyes, then looks up and says, “If you cum on my face out here, you’re the only one cleaning it up.” That line felt so stupidly real I had to pause and laugh. Then I clicked again instantly, obviously.

And then it slides from dumb comedy into “oh shit, this is messy” without warning. The cheating routes hit like cheap shots. One girl with a big ass you already watched strip down in a slow, teasing way in a previous scene suddenly shows up later with a boyfriend on her arm. Except she’s still DM’ing you at night, sending half-nude pics, panties half off, legs spread, asking “you miss this?” While you’re deciding if you wanna be the asshole, the game just shoves you into a bathroom stall with her at some bar. She bends over, pulls her skirt up, no panties this time, and you’re raw inside her within two lines of dialogue. She tells you to fill her, explicitly, and there’s this blunt “creampie” description that doesn’t pull back at all. Then afterwards, while she’s fixing her dress, she casually mentions she loves how her boyfriend is “so trusting”. It’s dirty in a way that isn’t heroic or romantic, just grimy and hot and kind of wrong. The group sex bits are even more chaotic, like the writers just kept adding bodies because they could, and somehow it works. You end up in rooms where you’re getting your dick sucked while another girl rides your face, everybody half high, half drunk, someone recording with a phone, and it never stops to preach about morals. There’s exhibition stuff too, short skirt, no bra under a loose top, nipple almost out in public, her daring you to touch under the table. It all hangs together with this clumsy charm, like a horny diary that accidentally turned into a game. There are moments that feel like they were ripped straight from old chat logs you don’t want anyone to see, and others that feel too porn-perfect, but the mix is what gives it flavor. Vanilla my ass.

This one starts quiet like those chill Sunday mornings where you tell yourself “just one more click” and two hours later you’re neck deep in horny drama and moral garbage fire. You play this guy who looks normal enough, school uniform, fake polite smile, trying to keep his shit together in a place where everyone is either hiding something, fucking someone they shouldn’t, or both. It sells itself as romance and slow burn and yeah, it actually is… but then it nudges you into creampie scenes with people you have no business filling, or watching your so-called love interest get used by someone else while you’re pretending you’re fine. And that’s before the mind control stuff even warms up. Whole thing feels like a dating sim that caught a bad trip and started asking what “consent” really means at the exact same moment you’re clicking through a titfuck scene on auto.

The school setting is not just “haha uniforms and lockers”. You walk those halls and every hallway feels like it remembers shit you don’t. Teachers with milf energy that lean way too close, classmates who act like they’ve known you longer than the script admits, that one virgin kid you just know the game is going to corrupt hard later. Half your choices look like normal romance flags, the other half are very quietly: “Do you want to share this girl, or watch her get stolen, or be the one doing the stealing?” I had a scene where I thought I was going for nice, wholesome kissing behind the gym and it spiraled into oral, bareback, her begging for it inside, and then later a corruption route hint drops and you realize you maybe just flipped the flag that makes her start cheating on you. Or you start cheating on her. Or both, because the game loves netorare, netorase and the whole “everybody lies, everybody fucks” circle. There is actual gay content that is not just a joke, some futa stuff sneaks in like the dev went “you know what, screw genre purity”, and there is this one voyeur scene where you are hiding, watching two people go at it, and the game kind of judges you and rewards you at same time. Female dom pops in hard with that one character who looks all sweet and then has you on your knees, and a few minutes later you’re the one pinning someone to the bed, groping like you never heard of HR. The drugs and psychological bits are the nasty glue holding it all: people forgetting, remembering, going crazy, bleeding, laughing, then dropping their panties. You’ll get animated loops of big tits bouncing and big asses riding, yeah, but they sit in a story that keeps stabbing you with “are you still the good guy?” every time you shoot another load inside someone who really should have stayed off-limits, maybe related, maybe not, depends how deep you want that incest rabbit hole. And the worst part is you’ll tell yourself “I’m going to stay loyal this run” right before you click through another harem setup and watch the game quietly twist your morality into a pretzel.

Black magic, school uniforms, and way too many bodily fluids for anyone’s sanity. This one throws you back into that old late-90s / early-2000s vibe where nothing is safe and everyone is horny or cursed, usually both. It feels like some fucked up fever dream you’d have after binging hentai on VLC with five tabs of weird doujin open, then passing out on your keyboard. One month after all the shit that happened before, people should be dead, but they’re not quite gone, and the school has that heavy “something is still rotting under the floorboards” feeling. It’s a school setting, but it never really tries to pretend it cares about normal school life. Classes are just background noise to black rituals, drugs hidden in lockers, and girls moaning in empty rooms that should be locked.

You play this pathetic but weirdly lucky male protagonist who is always a bit too close to whatever occult mess is going on. Mind control is all over the place, and the game doesn’t pretend it’s wholesome for even one second. Hypnosis, potions, cursed items, that slow zoom on blank eyes when someone’s will just snaps. There are scenes where you’re not sure if you’re turned on or just uncomfortable, like when the heroine you liked is suddenly on her knees in front of someone else, drooling all over his cock, and you know the spell isn’t yours. That nasty NTR sting hits hard here. One route she’s clinging to you, getting pounded on the classroom desk, her skirt torn, cum dripping down her thighs while she tries to muffle her moans. Another route she’s bent over a desk for a whole group, getting used as a cum dump, and the worst part is how much she seems to love it once her mind breaks. Group sex, bukkake, double penetrations, tits covered in semen like someone just painted her with a brush, all of that is treated as normal. There’s a scene with a girl covered in slick white strings, panting under fluorescent lights, and the only sound is her wet breathing and some guy laughing softly in the background. Feels dirty in the exact way this kind of game is supposed to feel.

What keeps it interesting is how it keeps flipping who’s actually in control. It’s not just “guy hypnotizes girl and fucks her” on repeat. Sometimes you think you’re the predator and then you get dragged into some ritual by a girl who clearly knows more than she lets on. One moment she’s riding you slow, kissing you soft, like a real lover. Next moment she’s tightening a collar around your neck, whispering that your body belongs to the cult now, and you wake up later with bite marks and someone else’s lipstick on your chest. The BDSM stuff swings from light bondage to “am I watching a torture scene or a sex scene,” especially when the occult violence starts mixing in. Blood on the floor, a girl laughing while she pushes another girl down and forces her to lick her thighs clean. Lesbian scenes hit different here, more cruel, more obsessive. There’s futa too, and it doesn’t tiptoe around it. A pretty “girl” lifting her skirt to show a thick cock, then using some poor brainwashed classmate as a toy, fucking her throat until tears mix with drool. You get those intense oral scenes where someone’s head is bobbing like crazy, spit and cum mixing, her eyes lost, and the game just holds the shot for too long. And all the while, this eerie occult story is around it, talking about Walpurgis Night, curses, who really died and who didn’t. Multiple endings make it worse, in a good way. One choice and you get a semi-sweet ending where at least someone survives with their mind half intact. Another path and you’re basically the high priest of a sex cult drowning girls in cum and blood. It’s messy, cruel, horny, and it never pretends to be anything else.

There is this rich brat academy dripping in gold and filth where every hallway feels like it smells of perfume, sweat and student loans on fire. They call it some proud National School for Wealth and all that, but the only honest word on the gate is the fuckery. You arrive as the new girl, not shy, not pure, just desperate enough to smile when a teacher’s hand stays too long on your hip. Every class is a trap. Every smile has teeth. The boys walk around like young CEOs with hard-ons, and the girls either bow, bite, or pretend they’re not already wet from the chaos. It is a school, yes, there are tests, exams, cute uniforms with short skirts, but the real grades are written inside you when you go home with his cum still dripping and your GPA somehow higher.

The game throws you in fast. One of the first things that hit me was a quiet little scene behind the gym, where a rich kid with dead shark eyes offers to wipe a piece of your family debt if you “help him relax” before the math test. You can kneel on the cold concrete, feel his fingers tangled in your hair while you choke around his cock, and then pretend it is just a transaction. Or you can try to outplay him, use that management layer to bet on his gambling streak, drag him deeper into his own addiction while he drags you into the stall, panties pushed aside, raw thrusts slamming your back into the door. There is this internal view that pops up when he cums inside, a hot white flood painting your insides, and it stays in your mind more than it should. I liked it. Actually I hated it. It made me feel like a piece of meat caught on camera, and I clicked it again anyway.

What I didn’t expect is how soft and cruel the game can swing between scenes. One moment you’re sitting in some fancy lounge, solving a small puzzle for extra credits, casual masturbation under the table with your phone propped against your thigh, watching a cheap interracial porn clip because the school wifi still hasn’t blocked that site. Next moment you’re pushed into a VIP room at a secret party, half drunk from mystery cocktails, the world blurry, clothes wrinkled, and three guys in suits arguing if they should take turns in your mouth or stuff all your holes at once. They talk about odds like it’s a poker table. You hear chips clacking on the side and understand you’re part of the bet. When the strongest one finally pins you, there’s no romance, just his weight, his cock forcing you open, wet sounds and the rough rhythm that makes your legs tremble. You can choose to pretend you’re in control. You can moan louder, ride him, whisper dirty words into his ear so he loses composure first. It doesn’t really matter. In the end he spills deep inside, again and again, and the game even teases the chance of pregnancy like a sick little flower blooming from all this cum and greed.

Some routes feel almost tender, like when you find a quiet corner in the library and just let the MC touch herself, fingers circling the clit under the skirt, thinking about that one strict teacher’s voice ordering her to stay after class. No big plot, no big drama, only slow breathing and sticky fingers, the small rebellion of using your own body for yourself. I wish there was more of that soft selfish pleasure, but this place is allergic to innocence. Even the romantic path with the “nice” boy can switch into rough male domination if you push him too far, his palm on your throat while he pounds you on the principal’s desk, both of you half afraid someone will walk in. There is a sandbox feeling to it, like the academy is a playground of options, but behind the freedom there is always a price, some drugs slipped in your drink, some lost money at the underground casino, some ending where you are rich, or ruined, or happily knocked up with the seed of the guy you swore you hated. It’s messy. Some scenes feel half-finished, some AI-drawn faces look a bit off, like they belong to a different dream, and a few dialogues read like they were written too fast on a bad day. Still, I kept clicking, chasing the next creampie, the next bad decision, the next time the screen fills with that internal shot that makes your stomach twist with a mix of shame and hunger. It is not beautiful. It is beautiful enough.

Game throws you right into that weird mood of going back to your old town for college, where everything is kind of familiar but also horny as hell for no good reason. You play this dude who moves back in after living with his divorced dad, and the whole thing feels like someone mashed a dating sim with a messy student life drama and then sprinkled drugs and bad decisions on top. One second you’re picking classes, next second you’re in some shitty party kitchen watching a girl do lines while you’re pretending you’re not staring at her tits. The school setting isn’t just background wallpaper either; teachers, classmates, random campus girls, even the creepy guys hanging around the dorm, all feel like they’re one bad choice away from turning a normal day into a porn scene or a fight. It’s kind of fun, kind of fucked up, which is why I kept clicking.

The sex stuff comes in slowly at first, then it’s like a dam breaks. First blowjob behind a campus building where the camera keeps trying to frame the MC’s stupid shoes instead of her lips, then later you’re balls deep in some chubby girl with a perfect big ass that jiggles in those short looping animated shots. The facial scenes look surprisingly decent, even when the MC’s face looks like he just smelled burnt toast. There’s oral, titjobs, handjobs, normal vaginal, anal that sort of sneaks up on you after a flirt chain, and yeah, creampies everywhere like nobody in that town ever heard of condoms. Interracial angles show up in a pretty natural way too, not just random “here’s the token character”, which I appreciated more than the game deserves. Sometimes they go for romance, like actually trying to make it sweet, and then suddenly you’re watching her ride you on a couch while some idiot stoned roommate peeks from the hallway and the voyeur vibe just takes over. The tone jumps around between goofy humor, legit drama, and pure filth. It shouldn’t work. It kind of does. Until it doesn’t, and you’re stuck in free roam looking for one stupid trigger that refuses to appear and you just alt tab to Pornhub instead and forget what you were doing.

The choices pretend to be deep sometimes, like “shape your character” and all that, but half the time it’s just “do you want to be a horny asshole or a horny nice guy”, which is fine, just don’t sell it like some big narrative tree. There’s combat for some reason, these random fights with guys from school or dealers, and I swear the hitboxes feel like they were coded by someone high. I lost one fight because my guy refused to dodge while the other dude floated in place punching the air. Then ten minutes later the same system made this one parking lot scene feel intense as hell, right before you go back to flirting with a girl who thinks weed is a personality trait. The romantic arcs can actually hurt a bit, like when you pick the “serious” answers and watch her slowly open up, then the game cuts to a blowjob animated loop and any emotional weight just falls on its face. But I still remember the first time I got that drunk dorm room scene with a shy girl, the way the camera slowly moved while she struggled to decide if she should pull down your zipper. That stuck with me more than the fancy “big” moments. There’s this tiny thing where the MC keeps wearing the same ugly shirt in every otherwise hot scene and it bothers me more than the bugs, and no, they’re never going to change it.

Argleton feels like that weird city your brain invents when you fall asleep horny after scrolling Twitter too long. Everything is familiar and totally off at the same time. One second you’re just tapping around on your phone like it’s some chill mobile sim, checking out a café, poking around a comic shop, scrolling messages. Then suddenly Chun Li is leaning over the counter with her tits half spilling out of a cosplay that looks one size too small, and she’s asking in this playful voice if you “really know how to handle a strong woman.” You click the teasing answer, just to see, and five minutes later your screen is full of her thighs around your head and you’re in a POV titfuck scene, trying not to fumble your phone like an idiot.

The game pretends to be relaxed. Walk around town, talk to girls, visit the park, the gym, the shady back alley with the guy who definitely sells drugs but also somehow knows what every girl in town secretly wants. It’s all point and click, simple, like old flash games but more polished and at the same time more trashy. Some scenes feel like you’re on a date in a normal romance sim: you bring a milf her favorite coffee, listen to her complain about her job, choose the “respectful” dialogue options. Then you accidentally click the slightly mean one because your thumb slips, and now she’s calling you out, pushing you against the wall, full female domination mood, hand wrapped around your throat while she strokes your cock with those long nails. The game does this a lot. Makes you think you’re the nice guy protagonist, then flips you into either horny puppet or smug bastard. I liked that. Maybe I hated it. Not sure.

There’s this one route with a shy virgin girl who cosplays Kitana and has this whole insecurity thing about her body, even though she’s thick in all the right places. You start with small stuff, groping over clothes, awkward kisses, her blushing so hard it’s almost ahegao already. She asks you to close your eyes while she tries “something she saw in a video,” and you’re expecting just a nervous blowjob. Instead she slides off your lap, takes your phone, props it against a pillow, and you realize you’re in a POV exhibitionism scene where she wants to record herself giving you a handjob because “it’s easier if the camera looks at you instead of me.” She keeps glancing at the screen like she’s reading a text from herself. When she finally climbs on top, you get that slow vaginal sex animation where you can choose if you creampie or pull out, and her whole face shifts when you stay inside. The game quietly tracks that, of course. Later she shows up in a different outfit, acting more confident, and only half jokes about “feeling different” since then. Transformation, but more psychological than magic. Well, there is also magic in another route, but I’m pretending that one isn’t giving me weird dreams.

The superhero girls are completely unbalanced. One moment you’re having playful banter with a redhead in a knockoff X-Men suit, trading jokes and light flirting, and ten minutes later she’s pinning you to a couch with telekinesis, opening your pants with invisible hands while lecturing you on ethics. She gives you a footjob without even touching you, which is such a stupid and great idea. And I swear the dev put in one line just for people like me who overthink: she says something like “Power is just the ability to choose who gets to cum and when.” That’s not deep, but it kinda is, in this horny context. The game will go from silly meme references to suddenly asking you if you want to control her or let her control you, and that one click decides whether you’re slapping her ass while she chokes on your cock or getting pegged with a strap-on while she laughs softly into your ear. It pretends to offer equal male and female domination, but the girls feel like they’re in charge even when you’re technically on top. Which is probably the point. Or maybe I’m just projecting.

Sandbox stuff is all over the place. You wander, you bump into a group sex event at some rooftop party you didn’t even know you unlocked, and suddenly you’re surrounded by big tits, big asses, one Naruto headband that should not be as hot as it is, and too many hands at once. There’s groping, toys, spanking that starts playful and gets serious. Someone pops a pill into your mouth, you accept it like an idiot, and the screen colors shift a bit. From that point your choices get a bit more unhinged, like the game is saying “fine, no more pretending you’re a gentleman.” I still don’t understand why the text messages in the in-game phone app keep glitching for me. Like, the notifications vanish before I can read the names. Tiny annoying thing, never fixed, keeps bugging me in the middle of a really good anal scene. Not game breaking, just… why.

Sometimes the romance hits. You sit on a bench at night with a girl who usually acts like a brat, she leans her head on your shoulder, and you talk about nothing important. Then, without a big music change or drama, she casually slides her hand into your pants and starts masturbating you under the moonlight while talking about her childhood like this is a normal thing to do. The camera stays close, you see her soft smile, her fingers moving slow, the wet sounds getting louder, and when you finally cum across her stomach she just laughs and wipes it with her shirt, zero shame. Exhibitionism, but intimate. Another time, similar setup, different girl, you try to be sweet and she just tells you to shut up, get on your knees, and lick her until she decides you deserve a creampie reward later. The game is inconsistent, but in a way that feels like… well, like people.

It also has this weird thing where masturbation scenes are almost as hot as the group ones. You sneak into a bathroom and catch a character using a toy, watching some porn parody on her phone that looks suspiciously like the game you’re playing. She notices you, keeps going, tells you to stay and watch, no touching. That teasing hurts more than any spanking. You’re there, throbbing, and the only “gameplay” is choosing whether you obey or try to jump in. If you obey, she thanks you later with a messy blowjob in an alley, all spit and gagging and eyes watering. If you interrupt, she slaps you, calls you greedy, and later lets you fuck her from behind while she scrolls social media like she’s bored. Both paths are hot. Both paths made me feel like a dumb animal and a philosopher at the same time.

Humor pops up like a shitpost in the middle of a porn thread. One girl makes fun of your “NPC energy” if you pick the most neutral reply. Another references that old meme about “step on me” when she puts her heel on your chest before a blowjob. The tone whiplash is real. But that’s kind of how sex works in real life too, not some carefully scripted perfect scene. Peaks, awkwardness, someone laughs at the worst moment, then it somehow becomes even hotter. Argleton is full of that. Messy, horny, too many fetishes crammed into one town, and a male protagonist who sometimes thinks he’s choosing his path when actually he’s just being led around by every girl’s fantasy and trauma, which, honestly, feels accurate.