"Beast Vessel" starts with you as the one guy in a world full of mana who has absolutely zero of it. Which is already kind of funny because in most fantasy porn games you are the chosen overpowered dick wizard. Here you are just... a guy. A magically useless guy who still somehow keeps ending up in situations where people are throwing spells around, monsters are sniffing you like a snack, and clothes are treated more like suggestions than actual items. It runs like a classic Ren'Py VN so if you ever clicked through horny dialogue while half watching YouTube on the second monitor, you know the vibe. Only here the world actually has some structure. There is a big continent, factions, rituals, weird rules around mana, and your body is basically this walking "empty container" that a lot of thirsty and dangerous creatures want to fill. In every sense. Sometimes with mana. Sometimes with other stuff.

The story likes to pretend you are making moral choices like "hero or villain" but half the time the real question feels more like "do you let the magic wolf lady pin you to the tree and drain you through a blowjob that looks like a spell" or "do you run away and miss the scene." I tried to play noble the first time, skipping the more fucked up voyeurism options, and still ended up watching a horny elf girl masturbate in her tent through a mana crystal that works as a magic CCTV. The game did that classic thing where it rewards you for being a creep with extra scenes, and as a data guy I can tell you from how this genre is going on F95 and Itch stats, voyeurism and exhibitionism are just exploding in popularity compared to even three years ago. The dev is leaning straight into that trend. You get animated loops with subtle movement, hips shifting, hands rubbing, magic glowing in just the right places. Not Pixar quality or anything, sometimes the 3D custom girl look hits that uncanny valley where the face is hot but the fingers look like noodles, but the sex scenes actually feel like someone thought about where the camera should be. One masturbation scene on a balcony really stuck with me. There is a mage girl using a mana orb as a vibrator, legs wide open over this glowing sphere, knowing the city below could see her if they looked up. I accidentally clicked the "watch in silence" option instead of "announce yourself" and it made the whole thing way nastier because she was moaning into the night and I was just... there. Invisible creep mode. And the game just moves on like "yeah this is normal."

What I kind of love and also hate is how your lack of magic keeps turning into an excuse for people to use your body like a tool. There is an early scene where a beastkin shaman straps you to a stone slab, explains that your "empty vessel" can channel overflowed mana safely, then proceeds to ride you while casting some ritual. Every thrust makes the runes light up brighter and she is half chanting, half screaming your name. She calls it a sacred duty and you obviously can choose to be offended or lean into it, but either way you end up being used. It is hot, no point lying, but there is also this small annoyance that you almost never feel fully in control. The UI even tricks you with "greyed-out" choices that you can't pick because your mana stat is zero, which honestly pissed me off more than any monster. Why show me an option like "overpower her with your own aura" when the whole point is that I have none. Still clicked it, still got mocked. I liked that. Or I didn't, depends when you ask me. There is some goofy humor too, just to break the horny flow. At one point a slime thing tries to eat you and ends up "tasting" another part first, and you get this text about "statistically significant rise in hardness" like the dev snuck a stats joke in my porn. I was weirdly happy about that line. The fantasy parts are not just dressing. There are actual small systems: mana corruption, beast influence, some flags that change whether a character later shows up as friend, predator, or crazed fan who wants to show herself off to you in public. One girl literally pulls you into a back alley and says she gets off on being seen with a "worthless non-mage" because it makes her feel even more powerful. She makes you stand there while she lifts her skirt at random passersby, then makes you clean her up with your tongue when some magical fluids start dripping. I wish there was a route where you can also become a proper mage and stop being everyone's toy, but honestly if that ever happens, this whole "beast vessel" idea would lose a lot of its nasty charm, so I kind of hope it never changes.

You open your eyes in a garden that’s way too pretty for how fucked up you feel. You remember dying… kind of. It’s fuzzy, like that morning after too much vodka when you’re checking your phone and praying you didn’t text your ex. Except now the “ex” is literally your life, and instead of hangover you get a smug angel, a smug demon, and a bunch of confused hot dead people who all like girls, guys, both, neither, or “it’s complicated” in different flavors. They tell you this isn’t Heaven, not Hell, just the Garden hanging out in Limbo, like some cosmic waiting room where everyone’s bisexual or worse. You’re told you can pick your body and gender, like character creation but with the weight of “what the fuck am I actually” behind it. Female, male, futa, trans, something in between, something off to the side. The game doesn’t blink. You can just… exist the way you wish you had when you were alive. That alone hit harder than some porn games ever will, honestly. Then five minutes later you’re flirting with a demon girl who looks like she can ruin your life and you’re fine with it.

What really sticks in my head is how one scene goes from tender to horny to sad so fast it feels wrong, in a good way. You’re sitting under this glowing tree with another lost soul, talking about what you regret from your life. They’re quietly telling you about the first time they realized they liked girls, how they kissed a friend behind a church, shaking and happy and terrified. The garden lights reflect in their eyes, they lean closer, and your choices appear. You can joke it away, you can pull them into this slow, nervous kiss, or you can go full thirsty and grab their hips and push them against the tree. If you go thirsty, the way the writing describes hands sliding over still unfamiliar bodies, the awkward “is this okay” mixed with raw need, feels more real than half the polished porn out there. It’s not just “and then boobs appeared, wow.” It’s messy, people hesitate, someone laughs at the wrong time, it reads like two queer disasters horny in Limbo who never got to be honest when they were alive, so now they’re making up for it in one go. There’s even a moment where they say “I never had sex like this when I was alive” and you can answer “me neither” or pretend you were a huge player. Which is funny, because the game will totally call you out later on that lie.

In between the horny stuff, you’re doing trials, talking to angels that act like burnt-out office workers, demons who act like they run a queer nightclub, and other dead people trying to figure out if Heaven is worth the rules, Hell is worth the chaos, or if Limbo is secretly the best place because nobody really knows what the fuck is happening anyway. Sometimes the tone whiplash gets tiring, like you’ll go from heartfelt talk about dysphoria to a gag about someone’s ass in two lines and it almost kills the mood. There are parts where the pacing drags, especially when a character dumps lore on you about how Eden ended up stuck here and you just wanna go back to worrying if that cute trans boy is into you or only into your “tragic backstory.” But then later, one small choice from an earlier date suddenly changes how a big late scene plays out and you realize oh, okay, it was paying attention the whole time. There are multiple routes and endings, you can flirt with women, men, futas, trans characters, some are soft, some are monsters in a sexy way, some are just emotionally unavailable but so hot you try anyway. It’s not afraid to be horny, but it also doesn’t treat sex like the only reward. Sometimes you get a tender cuddle in the afterlife instead of a full-on scene, and weirdly that feels more intimate. Still, I got annoyed that one character keeps mentioning some specific snack from when they were alive and you never actually see it anywhere. No CG, nothing. That bothered me a lot more than it should have. Anyway, it all feels like a queer afterlife dating mess where you can be a lesbian, a dude, a trans futa, whatever, and still end up kissing under a divine tree while arguing about whether Heaven even deserves you.

War has already chewed this world up and spat it out, and Dartanian is just tired. His armor’s still sticky with old blood, his nerves shot, and all he really wants is a quiet corner and a warm body that isn’t trying to kill him. Instead he walks right into Ellie, this demon girl with curved horns, ridiculous tits that barely stay inside her top, and an ass that bounces like it’s personally mocking gravity. The game doesn’t waste much time pretending they’re just “allies” either. One minute you’re creeping through some ruined village where you hear faint growls and broken whispers, the next she’s pushed up against a cracked stone wall, lips at his ear, voice purring in that breathy low tone that sounds way too real through decent headphones. The horror vibe is not just visual, it’s in the audio: those distant wet stomps, the sc*** of something long and sharp on stone, and then her sudden gasp when he grabs her by the hips and pulls her close. That contrast hits hard.

The sex is where the sound design actually flexes. Her moans don’t just loop in a lazy way like many mobile smut games. They rise, crack, sometimes cut off when he thrusts too deep. There’s this one oral scene early on where she gets on her knees in a half-collapsed chapel, stained glass broken, moonlight flickering, and when she takes him in her mouth you get this mix of soft sucking, tongue sliding, and faint little muffled whimpers in her throat. It’s messy in a good way, not clean porn-audio, more like someone actually recorded a real blowjob and layered it. When he finally fucks her properly, the wet slap of skin and that squelchy detail between her thighs is so sharp I had to check my volume on Spotify because I thought something else was playing. Her big ass claps every time he drives into her, and you can hear the weight of it. I’m obsessed with that kind of thing and they almost nailed it. Almost, because there’s this weird tiny squeak in one of the looped animations that kept popping up and now I can’t un-hear it. You probably won’t notice, but once you do, it’s cursed.

The monster girls you meet later are where the audio team went a bit crazy in a good way. One has this half-growl, half-pleasure sound when you start fingering her that slowly melts into these broken, needy moans. Another one’s voice cracks when he slides in and she begs him not to stop in this slightly accented way that made me think of some cheap ASMR I fell asleep to once. The romance angle is actually supported by breathing and tiny noises instead of text: Ellie’s breath gets shaky when Dartanian touches her scars, there’s a moment where she’s on top, riding him slow, big tits bouncing in time with the wet smack below, and in between the thrusts you hear the faint tremble in her voice when she whispers that she doesn’t want the night to end. Then five minutes later you’re in some creepy forest, something unseen is stalking you, the wind is howling, branches cracking, and she’s still catching her breath, little aftershocks in her voice. The game feels a bit rough around the edges and some transitions are clunky, but when it locks into that mix of fear, lust, and intimacy, with every moan and wet noise hitting just right in your ears, it honestly doesn’t matter. Turn the music down, put on good headphones, and let the sound carry the dirty parts for you.

Our ex-wayfinder girl is bored out of her skull, and honestly I felt that in my bones. She already saved her island, she did the big heroic stuff, now she’s stuck in chief role like some overworked office manager with tits. Meetings, problems, more meetings. No sea, no adventure, no danger, no orgasms. So she bails on the “responsible leader” life and goes hunting for Maui again, because who else is dumb and horny enough to show her how to be more than human. He promises to teach her how to become a demigod, but half of his “lessons” are him finding excuses to get his hands on her ass, her mouth, whatever part is closest. It starts “innocent”, like physical training, stretching, massages, then suddenly his cock is out and she’s kneeling there trying to remember if this was part of the ritual or not. Spoiler: it always is.

The game is a sandbox thing, but not that messy kind where you get lost in menus for two hours. You wander around the island, poke your nose where you shouldn’t, play dumb minigames to earn shells, buy outfits that are basically just different excuses to show more underboob. There is actual customization, not super deep, but enough that I spent way too long deciding if she looks sluttier with loose hair or with it tied back while she’s giving a sloppy blowjob to a “sacred” monster. Maui keeps setting up “trials” that are basically porn scenes dressed up like spiritual training. One time he tells her she has to “calm the raging beast” inside a cave, and it turns out to be some horny creature who only relaxes when she lets it grope her and fuck her between those big brown thighs. He just leans on his hook outside like a smug bastard, listening to her moan echo through the rocks and calling it “progress”. The parody vibe is thick, but it doesn’t feel like mocking her, more like the world itself is trying to drag her from hero to high-class slut and she kinda likes it. There are scenes with her learning “oral techniques” where he times her with some totally fake demigod challenge, and if you fail the minigame he just laughs and tells you to try again with his dick already twitching. Sometimes she pushes back, sometimes she teases him first. There is lesbian stuff too, with another girl who helps her practice “sensual skills” before she faces another “trial”, and that part actually surprised me because it felt a bit softer, more curious, like she’s testing out how far she wants to go with her own desire, not just following Maui’s orders. Then five minutes later she’s riding him in some cosplay outfit that looks like it came from a Wish version of her old explorer clothes, tits bouncing, talking about “earning her godhood” while he grabs her big ass with both hands. It’s messy and horny and sometimes a little awkward in a way that actually fits, like a hentai fan project that grew bigger than expected and never stopped being a bit unhinged. The teasing is constant, even during normal walking around: NPCs react to what she’s wearing, you get called out for showing too much skin, and then there is a scene where she’s drunk on “magic nectar” and ends up doing a slow, clumsy strip in front of someone who was definitely not supposed to see her like that, and I still keep thinking about that one more than the huge monster sex. Not sure what that says about me. Or her. Or Maui. Probably all three.

This thing feels like someone smashed a bloody vampire revenge story together with a porn addict’s search history and then just said “yeah ok, that’s the game now”. You start as either a pissed-off guy or a pissed-off girl, both with that “my life’s a mess and something supernatural is going on” vibe. The city feels half modern, half weird gothic fantasy, like you’re walking home from work and suddenly there’s a mind controlling monster girl in the alley who wants way more than directions. One moment you’re trying to figure out who ruined your old life, next moment you’re on your knees, some smug bastard using you like you’re part of the furniture, and the game just treats that as a normal Tuesday. A lot of scenes feel less like “romance” and more like “ok, you lost control of your own body, enjoy being turned into a toy”. The mind control parts are uncomfortable in a hot way if you’re into that: you click one choice and suddenly your character is begging to suck cock they clearly don’t want to, talking all dirty while their inner monologue is basically screaming.

The fun part is how the game lets you shift between feeling like a predator and feeling like someone’s fucked-up pet. As male MC you can go from getting blackmailed by some bastard with evidence of your past, forced to watch as your body gets used by a group, to later on having a terrified girl tied up, big tits shaking, and you decide if you’re “merciful” or you just pull her hair and go for a brutal anal creampie. When you play as the girl, it hits different. Humiliation is everywhere. There’s a scene where your character wakes up chained, ass in the air, blindfolded, and you only understand how many guys are in the room by the number of hands groping you and random cocks pressing against your lips. You don’t even see faces at first, just animated bodies and dripping fluids, the game focusing on every little movement, and you’re stuck picking dialogue that sounds like porn comments: “Please, not there” vs “Keep going” while you know neither one really saves you. I still keep thinking about this one lesbian scene where you’re forced to pleasure a milf vampire, licking her while she casually talks to someone else in the room like you’re not even human, more like a sex pet that cleans her with her tongue.

Then you have the “story” part, with this whole revenge plot, monsters ripping people apart, and some really graphic violence that drops in between blowjob chains and gang bangs. You can go from a sweet teasing scene where someone just traces a finger along your big ass, almost romantic, to the next chapter where that same person is ordering others to hold you down so they can fuck your throat until you pass out. Group sex is everywhere, and not in a soft friendly way; more like bodies piling on, your character shoved from one cock to another, holes shared, someone finishing deep in your pussy while another fills your mouth and a third just fingers your ass because why not. Sometimes you’ll be the one doing the groping, sometimes you’re being held by monster girls with claws gently on your neck while they grind on you. The game loves long oral scenes, like, “you’re stuck for five straight clicks just sucking and choking” long. It can be pretty hot, and then suddenly it kicks you in the gut with a dark choice like “do you torture this captive more to get info, maybe reward yourself with her body after” or “risk sparing her and get betrayed later”. The revenge stuff actually makes the sex feel meaner, like everyone is using bodies as weapons and rewards. And yeah, the UI font is kinda ugly and I still hate the sound that plays when you skip text, but I kept playing anyway, telling myself I was here for the mystery while clicking straight into another bondage scene.

Game throws you right into this weird mix of modern world and magic dungeons like it forgot to explain half the rules and kinda expects you just roll with it. You play this ex special forces guy who used to solve problems with guns and tactics, now he has to deal with corridors full of horny demon things and magic bullshit that ignores bullets. It feels a bit like someone mashed a shooter story with a porn VN and then said “yeah, good enough” and honestly I respect that chaos. First time you walk into a dungeon and the MC realizes his gear does nothing, the whole vibe switches from macho soldier to “oh shit I’m meat in a meat grinder” and then suddenly these new powers awaken and it turns sexy in like five clicks. There is this early scene where a monster girl tries to rip him apart, he counters with his new ability, pins her to the wall and the whole fight melts into this really messy violation scene, hips slamming, drool, eyes rolled back, classic ahegao face, and the camera just lingers way too long on the cum leaking out. Felt actually kind of dirty in a good way, like the dev knew exactly what people came for. Animation looks a bit stiff sometimes, but when he finishes inside and you see that little twitch and her belly flexes, yeah, they knew where to spend the effort.

The whole sandbox structure is messy as hell but also kinda addictive. You bounce between dungeon runs, hub areas and some random encounters that feel like the dev woke up and said “today I add mind break scene, no explanation.” I liked one run where I pushed too far into a deeper floor, got the MC grabbed by this big ogre thing, health sc*** down to 0, and instead of a simple game over, it triggered a long *** scene where he gets forced into fucking some corrupted priestess as payment for his life, with looping thrust animations and her face switching between terror and that overdone tongue-out expression. I was half annoyed I lost the run and half going “ok yeah, keep going.” Dialogue is clunky, English feels like it was translated by Google on a bad day, which honestly matches my brain, so I didn’t mind. What bothered me more was the UI sound for clicking the damn inventory, it’s like this cheap plastic tick I started to hate and then forgot to mute. Combat has that vibe where you spam skills without reading what they really do, but sometimes you chain them perfect and end on a finisher that auto-plays a creampie scene if you defeat certain bosses. Watching the MC pant over some defeated witch, shoving himself in raw right on the dungeon floor, no condom, no logic, while she twitches and moans like a broken NPC, somehow made the whole “saving the world from monsters” plot feel like background noise. Honestly, I kept telling myself I’m here for the fantasy setting and progression, but next thing I know I’m just farming certain rooms because I know they have that one animation where the MC empties inside and you see it oozing out in a close-up. I forgot what point I tried to make here, but yeah, the game sticks in your head like that.

Princess Auriane is a mess, in the best possible way. She’s crowned, horny, and way too curious about what happens when you mix royal duty with raw, fucked-up power games. The game throws you right into her new rule, and the kingdom is basically an excuse for people to scheme, seduce, and break each other in very pretty, very dirty ways. One moment you’re sitting in a council scene, pretending to care about taxes and border fights, and five clicks later you’re watching an elf noble on his knees, tongue out, while Auriane holds his hair and decides if he gets mercy or just more humiliation. The swing between “noble fantasy politics” and “I’m going to use your mouth until you can’t talk” is wild, and honestly that’s what kept me clicking. It feels like someone asked “what if Crusader Kings had less spreadsheets and more deepthroat” and then kind of committed.

What I like a lot is that you’re not just a puppet queen getting tossed around. Sometimes you are the one doing the corruption, pushing a “pure” elf girl to lick your boots, or letting some scary priestess collar you and teach you what obedience really means. Dominant Auriane is hot, cruel in that smug elven way, like she knows everyone wants her and she’s tired of pretending to be nice. But submit Auriane a bit and the story turns nasty in a different flavor, with her being forced to smile in court after being used like a toy in the temple, cum still metaphorically dripping off her pride. The game doesn’t pull away when it gets heavy. When a scene promises “she’ll pay for this insult”, yeah, someone ends up gagging on cock or grinding on a thigh until she cries, not just getting a slap on the wrist. Oral stuff shows up a lot, by the way. People talk about oaths, loyalty, sacred rituals, then five text boxes later, that “ritual” is two elves on their knees, mouths full, trying to outdo each other for a pat on the head or a chance at power. It feels very on brand for a sleazy fantasy court: everyone pretending this is about honor while literally choking on it.

There’s this whole management layer that is honestly more fun than I expected for a porn game. You’re not juggling a big spreadsheet or anything, but choices in how you treat factions slowly twist the tone of the whole kingdom. Feed the harsher side and your realm starts feeling like a fetish state, full of collars, public punishment and nobles who smile way too much when someone gets dragged to the dungeon. Encourage indulgence and you get this decadent vibe where “court entertainment” basically means watching who gets fucked in front of whom. You notice characters changing, too. A shy attendant you keep around can slide from nervous little assistant into ruthless bitch if you let her taste power, and yeah, that also shows in bed scenes where suddenly she’s the one sitting on someone’s face, using them like furniture. The corruption arcs feel personal, like the story is poking you: “You did this. You made her like that.” Even when scenes repeat, the context shifts, so the same kind of blowjob or forced kneel feels different when it’s part of a bigger fall from grace. It’s not perfect, some transitions are clunky and sometimes the pacing just drops like the writer went to grab coffee mid-event, but when it hits, it really scratches that mix of strategy brain and degenerate brain. I kept telling myself “just one more choice, I want to see how bad this path gets” and then Auriane is in the throne room, smiling calmly while someone licks her feet in front of the court, and you realize the kingdom is basically a mirror of your worst tastes.

Eyvind is not your usual soft twink hero, he is a chunky wolf bastard with scars, attitude and a cock that gets him into trouble faster than his spear. The whole thing starts in this small tavern that looks harmless at first, like one of those generic quest hubs you ignore in other games, and then suddenly it is the most important horny place in your life. Guys come in covered in dust and blood, order a drink, talk about monsters outside the village, and five minutes later they are grinding on each other in the back room, cursing into each other's mouths. The game really leans into that feeling that everyone here is two bad decisions away from sucking someone off behind a barrel. It is very fantasy, but not “serious lore” fantasy, more like “this orc just beat you in a drinking game, now you are on your knees choking on him and neither of you complains.”

You move around that tavern a lot, chatting with rough mercs, mysterious mages, random horny travelers, and every chat can slide into sex if you push it a little. Or if you lose a bet. Or if you lose a fight. Actually losing is pretty hot here, which is kind of evil, because sometimes you realize you wanted to lose from the start. One time I picked a fight with this big lizard guy in the corner, just testing the combat, and the dumb wolf got wrecked in like four turns. Next screen, Eyvind is bent over the table, tail up, getting his ass pounded until you can practically feel his legs shaking, and the lizard keeps talking shit while he pumps him full, creampie dripping down those thick cheeks. And the game is not shy about showing that mess. Same with oral scenes, you get proper sloppy blowjobs, spit strings, tongues, the works. The art is simple but direct, like, it does not pretend to be safe for work, it just wants to make you stare and think “ok, I would absolutely let that bull barbarian use my throat too.”

Outside the tavern you get the adventure side, going into the woods, fighting monsters, doing quests that always somehow end with cock. You pick skills, choose moves in fights, manage your health, but in the back of your mind you know that losing that turn based battle might unlock another filthy scene with a horny beastman pinning Eyvind to the ground. Sometimes I was actually annoyed when I won, because then I only got gold instead of a hot scene with some big brute stuffing him full. And yeah, I know, that is not “correct” way to play, but come on. There is something very fun about watching a proud warrior slowly turn into the tavern’s favorite cum dump, acting tough during the day and then kneeling between the thighs of some muscle bear at night, licking him clean and asking for more. The only thing that pissed me off was this tiny detail with how the tavern counter is drawn, like the angle is weird and it made me crazy every time, but then a horny fox adventurer would drag Eyvind upstairs and I forgot about it. The whole thing feels like someone mashed a classic fantasy RPG with a furry porn comic, spilled some ale on the script, and said “yeah, that is enough, let them fuck.”

You wake up with that heavy, horny fog in your brain, and instead of your boring room you’re in this chapel that looks like somebody let Pornhub redesign a cathedral. Stained glass, candles, crosses, and front row you got a nun with tits that do not care about gravity at all, trying to decide if she wants to save your soul or ride it. She talks sweet and holy while her outfit is cut so low it might as well be a polite suggestion. And the game just looks at you like: “Alright, sinner, what kind of mess you wanna be?”

The fun part is how it keeps throwing those “innocent” options at you and they never stay innocent. You tell the nun “I want guidance” and she hears “please press those huge soft miracles into my face and whisper prayers while grinding on my lap.” You pick the serious, holy line, and five clicks later she’s on her knees calling you something between “my child” and “my master” with a tongue that clearly skipped bible class. Then you wander out of the chapel and the whole place opens up into this demon playground. Succubus lurking around every corner, hips moving like they’ve got their own physics engine, tails sliding around your legs, horns, claws, that pretty red skin that screams “terrible idea” in the best way. You say one wrong thing to a demon girl and suddenly she’s pinning you to some stone altar, sitting on your cock like she’s collecting your soul one thrust at a time.

What I liked is how the choices actually feel like they change the flavor of the smut, not just the wallpaper. Go respectful with the succubus and she goes slow and teasing, dragging those big breasts over your chest, kissing you soft while still milking you like she’s on a timer. Act like a cocky bastard and she flips you, rides you hard, claws in your back, calls you “toy” while smiling like she owns your life now. Same with the nun: lean into her faith and she turns the whole thing into a corrupt mass, whispering holy lines while stroking you with trembling hands, like she hates how good it feels. Push her buttons and she snaps, climbs into your lap, skirt around her waist, moaning into your ear that she belongs to her god and also to your dick. The visuals love big curves, thick asses bouncing on altars, soft stomachs folding a little when they bend over, jiggling everywhere when the scene gets rough, and the camera never tries to be artsy, it just shoves your face exactly where you were already thinking. It’s messy, horny, sometimes goofy as hell, and every path is basically one long “what if I said yes to the worst idea” fantasy where the answer is always: a nun, a demon, or both, sitting down on you like you’re part of the furniture.