The first thing that hits you is the sound. Not music, exactly, more like a wet slap followed by a cartoonish "boing" that loops every time you land a hit. It's so stupid it circles back to genius. Confidential Shibuya Files, or whatever the hell the full title is, knows exactly what it is: a turn based mess where you grope monsters into submission. And I mean that literally. The combat is just rock paper scissors with extra steps, but instead of rocks you have "tentacle flick" and instead of paper you have "aggressive motorboat."

Spent way too long on the second fight because I kept trying to use the "analyze" skill on a slime girl's chest. Turns out that's not a skill, that's just the idle animation. The game doesn't care. It wants you to fail. The male protagonist, some generic dude with spiky hair, has this deadpan expression the whole time, like he's filing taxes while a harpy sits on his face. Multiple protagonists show up later, but honestly I forgot their names. One of them is just "Guy with Glasses" and another is "Angry Short Man."

The humor is the only thing holding it together. There's a scene where you fight a monster that's literally just a pair of legs, and the victory text says "You defeated Lower Body. Upper Body is filing a complaint." That made me laugh out loud, which is rare for a game where the main mechanic is vaginal sex via turn based combat. The 2D art is rough, like someone drew it on a napkin during a lunch break, but the jank adds charm. Or maybe I'm just numb to it after the fifth identical goblin fight.

The groping mechanic gets old fast. You'd think it would be the highlight, but it's just a quick animation that plays before the actual damage numbers. No strategy, no timing, just click and watch. The monster designs are creative though. One boss is a giant pair of lips with legs. Another is a walking uterus with a bad attitude. The game doesn't explain any of this. You just accept it.

The soundtrack is one synth loop that sounds like a dying fax machine. I muted it after ten minutes. But then I unmuted it because the silence felt wrong. Now I can't stop humming it. Send help.

god the face on that blonde one when you first walk in. you know the type, that perfect 'i'm doing charity work' smile and her skirt's so short you can see the crease where her ass meets her thigh before she even turns around. KDA parody but they didn't even try to hide who's who, just slapped different names on em and called it a day. not complaining though

won this backstage pass thing through some mobile gacha i've been playing way too much, the kind where you tap waifus and they moan. actual loser shit. but here we are in this dressing room and the redhead's already sitting way too close, saying something about 'lucky fans get special treatment' and i'm just staring at her tits basically falling out of that glitter top. game doesn't even animate smoothly, like the transitions are jank as hell and sometimes you click and nothing happens for a second. but then there's this moment where she leans over to grab a drink and the whole screen just becomes cleavage and this dumb bouncy physics thing kicks in and i forgot what i was criticizing

the groping parts are... look, you've played these before. click the tits, get a reaction. but the text popups are genuinely funny sometimes, like whoever wrote this actually knows league and the whole KDA stan culture thing. there's a line about seraphine that made me snort. swinging tag's there i guess? more like optional background stuff where you catch glimpses of the other members going at it while you're busy. nothing groundbreaking

wish the sound didn't loop so badly, that one moan clip they reuse every three seconds. won't ever be fixed probably. oh and there's this weird spot in the pool scene where her bikini just kinda phases through her ass cheek and nobody QA'd that. my favorite part is when the purple haired one just straight up sits on the player character's lap no warning, whole big ass filling the frame, and the dialogue's like 'oops didn't see you there' like girl you absolutely did

anyway the job still sucks in the game's story but who cares

So the boss is in a meeting about quarterly synergy or whatever, and I'm here pretending to update spreadsheets. Reality? I'm thinking about Jade's ridiculously plump ass. This game, it's a futa revenge fantasy dressed up in a college setting, and honestly the writing is about as subtle as a brick through a window. But you don't come here for subtle. You come for the scene where Jade, our newly empowered she-dick protagonist, corners some cheating brat in the locker room. The groping starts slow, just a handful of those massive tits through a school uniform, the fabric sounds all crinkly and wrong in the 3DCG. It's that specific plastic-y render style where skin looks a bit too glossy, like everyone's been oiled up for a competition nobody announced.

The dialogue is pure cheese. One of the anti-futa activists literally gives a speech about "traditional values" five minutes before Jade's rearranging her guts in a supply closet. I wish they'd leaned harder into the absurd humor of that, but the game plays it weirdly straight sometimes. The oral sex animations are janky, mouths don't quite line up, but the sound design... look, I don't know why the wet noises are mixed so loud. It's like someone dropped a microphone into a bowl of macaroni. You'll hear it over the music. You'll hear it over your own thoughts.

Then there's the harem element. It's messy. Girls just sort of fall into bed with Jade after one conversation, which, fine, it's a porn game, but the cheating tag gets applied with zero drama. Someone's girlfriend is eating Jade out in the library and the boyfriend never finds out, it's just a thing that happens and then we move on. The creampie scenes are generous, maybe too generous, physics-defying amounts of the stuff. There's this one sequence with a teacher where the vaginal sex just keeps going, looped animation style, and I swear I zoned out and forgot what I was supposed to be doing. Like right now, actually. I should probably check if Jenkins from accounting is looking over the cubicle wall. He always has that stupid smirk. Anyway, the game's about forgiveness or revenge but really it's about how many positions they can render that one giant futa cock in before the runtime budget exploded. Probably a lot. Probably still rendering somewhere.

Sullen PSYCHO is this weird fucking game where Allan just... accepts everything. One minute he's nowhere, the next he's in some gothic castle with a skeleton cracking bad jokes and a succubus whose tits are basically a physics experiment. The art style. It's deliberately unpolished, right? But that's the charm. Like a sketchbook filled with cum stains. The animations during the anal scenes are surprisingly smooth though. Caught me off guard. There's this one part with a knight lady, full armor except her massive ass hanging out, and Allan just grins like he won a scratchcard. You control this dumbass through conversations that make zero sense and somehow lead to pov vaginal sex that feels earned? I don't know.

The humor lands because Allan never questions why he's throatfucking a ghost in a library. He just goes with it. Multiple endings pop up based on how horny or chaotic you play him. My first run ended with him becoming the castle's new trickster god or some shit. Second run he got pegged by a demon and just... stayed there. The male domination tag is there but it's more like Allan thinks he's in charge while everything spirals. Relatable.

The voyeurism scenes. Fuck. You'll stumble on things happening in side rooms, animated loops of creatures going at it, and the game doesn't frame it as a reward. It's just there. Like the castle itself is breathing sex. The ai cg gives everything this uncanny valley feel, faces sometimes melting mid blowjob, but that makes the hot moments hit harder. When a scene actually aligns, when the big tits and the weird lighting and Allan's stupid grin all sync up, it's genuinely hot. Then a skeleton walks in and ruins it. I kept replaying not for the sex but to see what absurdity Allan would shrug at next. The adventure part isn't deep. It's barely there. But I kept clicking.

Is this the same Diva Mizuki from that bizarre TV show game? The one with the two dudes and those weird green screen effects that looked like a public access nightmare. That game at least had a concept, a scenario. This is just... a grimy back alley. A trash can. One guy. The cell shading is the same, that flat sort of anime render that tries to be 3D but moves like a flipbook missing half its pages. Her boobs are huge, obviously, and they do that weird balloon inflation thing at one point where they just suddenly expand. It’s almost funny, almost. The animation loop for the blowjob is hilariously bad, her head just bobs back and forth like a broken dashboard toy, no connection to anything. The sounds are the real disaster. It’s just a sloppy, wet noise on repeat that doesn't sync with anything on screen. It sounds less like a blowjob and more like someone stepping in mud, repeatedly. I kept thinking about the garbage bag in the background, whether it was supposed to look rustled by the wind or just badly textured. I stared at that polygon lump for a good minute while the loop played out. It had more visual depth than the action.

The cumshot is what you’d expect, a white fluid splatter that looks like glossy paint hitting her face and then just... phasing through her shoulder and vanishing. No dripping, no physics, just a paint splat asset and then gone. They try to tie it back to that TV show game with a flashback, but it’s just a few seconds of those old assets crammed in. A bonus feature? A desperate bid for content length? Who cares. The whole thing feels like someone animated a rough draft and just released it. The humor is unintentional, watching her exaggerated, robotic sex face while the guy’s big cock just pokes the air three inches from her mouth. That was my real handjob, I guess. Laughing until I couldn't focus on anything else. The audacity of it.

I don't know what I expected from a game called "candy shop" but it wasn't a kaiju made of bubblegum wrecking the downtown district while two shop girls with tits bigger than their heads try to stop it. The whole thing feels like someone sketched it on a napkin during a sugar crash and then just... shipped it. The art is rough. Like, genuinely rough. Lines don't connect, proportions shift between scenes, and there's this one background character in the city crowd who's just a blurry smudge. I stared at him for way too long.

The setup is these candy shop workers did some "crazy experiments" and now there's a gum monster destroying the city. Classic. The monster's weakness, apparently, involves getting it worked up enough to... finish. That's the gameplay loop. You're basically edging a giant sticky abomination until it blows its load and saves the city. I can't believe I just typed that sentence. The creampie tag is doing some heavy lifting here because when that monster finally erupts, it's like a firehose of white. The girls get absolutely glazed. Head to toe. There's cum in their hair, dripping off their chins, pooling in their cleavage. The big cock tag applies to the monster, obviously, and it's absurd. Like a third arm.

The humor lands sometimes. One of the girls makes a joke about the monster being "extra sticky" and I snorted. But then the next scene the dialogue just falls apart, like they forgot to write the middle of the conversation. The big city setting is barely there, just a few gray rectangles meant to be buildings. You spend most of your time clicking through the same three positions while the monster's cock throbs and the girls take turns trying to "find its weakness." The funny tag is earned but not always on purpose. There's a moment where the monster's expression changes and I swear it looks confused, like it didn't sign up for this either. I'm still thinking about that blurry smudge guy in the background. Was he a person? A mailbox? We'll never know.

Brutemon Invasion, huh. The whole elemental chart thing got ripped out and I'm still mad about it because last month I had my team perfectly balanced for type advantages and now it's just... numbers. Pure raw numbers. But the new Pussymon animations are so fucking smooth that I forgot to be angry for like twenty minutes straight. There's this one capture scene with a ghost type that does this phasing trick during the struggle and I won't spoil it but let's just say the tentacle physics got an upgrade.

The quest structure is weirdly linear this time compared to the sandbox stuff from episode 12. You're basically funneled through eight new areas chasing Brutemon spawns and each zone has exactly one new creature to catch and one animation to unlock. Speedrunning the 100% gallery took me maybe two hours of resetting for optimal RNG on the boss fight because that bastard has a grab move that skips the whole corruption sequence if you don't break free fast enough. The cheat menu from Patreon lets you toggle invincibility which trivializes the combat but the real degenerates know you're here for the loss scenes anyway.

Speaking of Patreon, the $5 tier gives you a save file with all animations pre-unlocked and I wish I knew that before grinding the swamp area for the slime girl's third variant. The humor in the dialogue is hit or miss. Some NPCs reference 4chan greentexts and I cringed but then the rival character shows up with this deadpan delivery about "collecting them all" while gesturing at a pile of exhausted monster girls and I actually laughed. The story is setting up some big invasion arc that'll matter in future episodes apparently but right now it's mostly an excuse to chain encounters together. Not complaining. I'm here for the pixel titties and the completionist grind.

The whole thing runs on a kind of loose, horny logic that falls apart if you think about it for more than five seconds, but that's fine because you won't. You're too busy checking which new pussymon has the most ridiculous animation. The halloween update added original creatures instead of just reskins, and honestly some of them look like someone's fursona got drunk and wandered into a monster catcher. The sexcards are the real pull here. Eleven new animated ones. Some are genuinely creative, others feel like the artist ran out of poses and just flipped the canvas.

Combat got rebalanced but still feels like rock paper scissors with extra steps and a boner. There's an elemental chart coming next episode, which means the current battles are basically placeholder. You grind, you catch, you unlock a card, you move on. The story is bigger now, three endings, ten areas, achievements. But the grammar is rough. The dev admits it. English isn't their first language and it shows in every dialogue box. Not a dealbreaker for a game where the main goal is collecting naked creatures, but sometimes you'll read a line twice and still not know who's talking.

One small thing that bugs me. The new interface has a button that looks like it should open the map but actually opens the quest log. I clicked it wrong like six times. Never got fixed in this build. Whatever.

The bad ending is actually kind of funny if you're into that. The easter egg ending is just weird. Don't expect a coherent plot. Expect a lot of tits, some fur, and a battle system that's just there to slow you down between sexcards. It's messy, unpolished, and horny in a way that feels personal rather than corporate.

I don't know what I expected from a game called "fuck hit girl" but here we are, clicking through Mindy Macready's awkwardly translated sex scenes like some kind of degenerate collector. The whole thing runs in browser, zero setup, just straight to the point. She's got that purple wig and costume that's definitely not legally distinct from a certain comic book character, and she's staring at you with those dead fish eyes that somehow make the whole thing funnier than it should be.

The undress mechanic is basically just clicking her clothes off piece by piece while she makes faces that are supposed to be sexy but honestly look like she's trying to remember if she left the stove on. Then you get to the teasing part and the game actually slows down for a second, which I appreciate because most of these browser things rush straight to the jackhammer phase. She's got this little animation where she squirms and the text at the bottom says something like "oh yes tease my pussy more" in that special translation style where you can practically see the original Russian sentence structure underneath. It's charming in a way that's probably not intentional.

Then the big cock comes out and it's just absurd. Like comically large, clipping through her torso sometimes, the physics making zero sense. The whole thing becomes this beautiful trainwreck of superhero parody and porn logic. I wish there was more actual Hit-Girl personality here, you know? Like where's the violence, the knife play, the actual danger of fucking a tiny assassin who could kill you mid-thrust? But no, she just moans and takes it while the loop plays out. The humor is definitely there but it's the kind you laugh at, not with. Still, for what it is, a quick browser wank to a character you probably shouldn't be attracted to, it delivers exactly what the thumbnail promises. The animation loops are short but they loop cleanly enough that you can zone out. I just wish her expression changed even once during the whole thing. Would it kill them to add a smirk?