The first thing that hits you is how janky the whole thing feels, like someone slapped it together in a weekend after too much blue milk. And honestly? That's part of the charm. Star Moans doesn't pretend to be anything other than a quick, dirty parody where Rey gets absolutely railed by Kylo Ren's massive cock. The cumshot at the end is less a reward and more a punctuation mark, a messy period at the end of a very short sentence.

The pacing is like a microwave burrito, hot on the outside, frozen in the middle, but you eat it anyway because you're hungry. You click through a few dialogue boxes, the art shifts from passable to "did they trace this from a bootleg action figure?", and then suddenly there's a big cock filling the screen. No foreplay, no buildup. Just straight to the point. I kept waiting for some kind of minigame or at least a button to change positions, but no. You're just along for the ride, watching Rey's face contort in ways that would make Daisy Ridley's agent weep.

There's a moment where Kylo Ren says something about the Force and then immediately goes back to pounding her, and I laughed out loud. Not because it was funny, but because it was so absurdly committed to its own stupidity. The localization choices are wild too. Some lines read like they were run through three different translators and then typed with one hand. "Your resistance ends here" indeed.

Who gets the most out of this? Probably someone who's already seen every Rule 34 image of these two and just wants a moving version with sound effects that sound like a wet handshake. If you're looking for story or character development, you're in the wrong galaxy. But if you want to see a big cock, a cumshot, and a parody that doesn't give a single fuck about canon, this delivers exactly that and nothing more. The lack of any real interaction still bugs me though. You just watch. Like a pervert at a keyhole.

Third year of the Clone Wars, shit is already on fire everywhere, and this random young guy somehow jumps straight into being a Jedi Knight. No training arc, no years of monastery life, just boom, robe on, lightsaber hard, welcome to the front lines. The fun part is he isn’t written like some stiff hero from the movies, more like a horny dude who learned Force Push and immediately started thinking what else that could be used for. One moment he’s “protecting the Republic,” next moment he’s stuck in a tent with Ahsoka, she’s half teasing, half testing him, and the game actually lets you lean into that tension instead of fading to black. You’ll see her doing that slow, lazy stretch in armor that doesn’t even try to be practical, talking about strategy while your brain is only focused on how her ass looks from that angle. It’s supposed to be serious war stuff but the whole thing feels like a parody written by someone who watched the cartoons and said “ok, but what if everyone fucked?” and then just kept going.

Because it’s turn based, the combat is surprisingly horny too. You’re not just clicking attack and skipping text, you’re watching your choices with the girls bleed into battle scenes and back again. Help Aayla in one mission, be a bit too nice, and later she’s pressed up against you in the jungle, blue skin shining with sweat, asking if Jedi really have to stay calm all the time. You can pretend to be noble or you can pull her close and end up fucking her against some ancient ruin while droids patrol nearby. Same with Padme: one route she’s your secret lover, panties pulled aside under that senator outfit while you whisper strategy in her ear, other route she’s getting slowly stolen from you, that quiet netorare sting when you start realizing she’s taking longer to reply, dressing a little different around that “friend” you agreed to trust. The game doesn’t scream NTR in your face, it just lets that sick little feeling creep in while you’re busy blasting monsters and flirting with Mara Jade like she actually belongs in this timeline. She doesn’t, but honestly, who cares, her tits show up, plot forgives anything.

The monster girls are where it gets weird in a good way and then sometimes in a “what the hell am I doing with my life” way. One boss looks scary as fuck in combat, huge claws, sharp teeth, and when you beat her she suddenly turns into this shy, horny thing riding you until you cum deep inside her and fill her with a thick creampie that the camera really wants you to look at. Then later there’s another creature that is just… less hot, and you still get the scene, and you still click through all of it, and you’re a bit ashamed afterwards, but not enough to stop. The teasing is constant: Bo-Katan acting all tough while your eyes are glued to her big tits under the armor, Barriss pretending to scold you about attachment while she’s already wet just from you grabbing her wrist, Padme trying to stay loyal and failing in slow, small ways. It actually gives you those quiet moments, like sitting in a ship corridor chatting on your phone in real life, alt-tabbing from Chrome back into the game, and then suddenly you’re deep in a branching scene where your “little” choice earlier decides who gets fucked raw and who gets left alone in her bunk. There’s parody everywhere, lore thrown around slightly wrong on purpose, timeline makes no sense at all, but the sex hits, the asses are big, the cum stays inside more often than not, and the whole thing feels like someone took horny Star Wars shitposts from Reddit and turned them into a messy, surprisingly addictive adventure.

You know what’s missing from most Star Wars hentai? The sheer bureaucratic nightmare of actually becoming a Jedi. This visual novel gets it. It’s not all flipping around with a glowstick, it’s a casting couch situation, literally. Ahsoka Tano is the gatekeeper and she’s got a very specific, very wet audition process. The CG hentai models are deliberately a bit janky, like someone learned Blender just to make this specific fantasy and honestly? That’s the charm. It’s not trying to be some slick triple-A porn parody, it’s got that raw, unpolished energy of a horny mod you’d find buried on a forum.

The whole thing is a choice-driven descent into corruption. You’re not just picking dialogue, you’re picking which hole gets the next bit of attention, and the game remembers. Or it pretends to. I got a scene where Ahsoka’s lekku wrapped around my guy’s waist and the next frame they were clipping through her shoulder like a bad Bethesda game. I laughed, then I nutted. That’s the experience. The sound design is basically nonexistent except for some wet squelching that sounds like someone stirring mac and cheese, which is a choice. A weirdly hot choice. They should release a DLC that’s just a full-on Sith corruption path where you can break her completely, make her call you Master in that raspy voice. The current “dark side” ending is just a text crawl, a fucking text crawl after all that sloppy buildup. What a tease.

The parody element is strong because it understands the source material’s repressed sexuality better than Disney ever will. Seeing a character designed for a kids’ show getting absolutely railed in a dirty supply closet on a Venator-class star destroyer is the kind of specific sacrilege I live for. The game’s biggest sin is the lack of a true free camera mode. You get these fixed angles during the hardcore scenes and sometimes you just know the good stuff is happening just off-screen. Let me orbit the action, damn it. It’s a visual novel that occasionally forgets the “visual” part and just gives you a wall of moaning text. Still, for a quick, dirty trip to a galaxy far, far away where the only force is the one shoving you balls-deep into a Togruta, it delivers exactly what the tags promise. No more, no less. Just a messy, horny, unapologetic fuck-fest with everyone’s favorite orange padawan.

You know that feeling when you’re watching Star Wars and your brain just quietly whispers “yeah but what if everyone stopped pretending to be noble and just started fucking”? This game basically lives in that whisper. You’re not some heroic Jedi on a moral journey, you’re the guy who got tired of the Jedi Council’s bullshit and decided, nah, I’m taking what I want. The whole thing is set up like you’ve got your own secret corner of the galaxy, a place where captured Jedi and highborn girls end up chained, collared, and very naked, and you decide if they leave walking or crawling… or not leaving at all. It’s parody, yeah, but it’s the kind of parody done by someone who clearly spent too long pausing scenes of Ahsoka stretching and thinking very specific thoughts.

First time Ahsoka shows up in your “collection”, I honestly expected some lazy click-next scene. Instead I’m fiddling with different toys, choosing if I keep her mouth full or her ass full, and the game just lets me push it further, like it keeps asking quietly “you sure you’re done?” You can slap her around, force her to suck you while you play with her lekku, make her gag on it, then flip her over and go from oral to anal so fast it feels mean in the best way. The male protagonist here isn’t pretending to be gentle. This guy is pure control, using restraints, gags, sometimes just his hands on their throat while he drives them into the bed. Padme tries to act proud at first, all queen posture, then you’ve got her on her knees, mascara ruined, swallowing a creampie that slid out after you fucked her raw. Bo-Katan is worse, or better, depending on taste. She talks shit and you answer by tying her up in a way that would make a real dominatrix nod, then you just keep filling her, front and back, while she’s forced to watch herself get used.

The game leans into group stuff in a way that actually feels dirty. You line up Aayla and Barriss together, both on their knees, your cock in one mouth and your fingers buried in the other girl’s pussy, and there’s a point where you can just decide, yeah, everyone gets their holes busy tonight. Multiple penetration isn’t some “wow special feature”, it’s just what happens when you’re greedy. There’s this one scene where you’ve got a girl sitting on your dick, another riding your face, your hand wrapped around the first one’s throat while you force the second one to piss on your chest like you’re some depraved altar, and the game doesn’t blink, it just keeps going, like “sure, that too”. Sometimes it feels a bit much, like the pacing goes from zero to “Jedi gangbang with toys and cum dripping everywhere” in two clicks, but then you’re pressing the next option anyway, because you want to see if she breaks or begs or both. And yeah, it’s rough, it’s not pretending to be romantic, but when you’re balls deep in a crying Padawan who still clenches around you when she cums, with your last creampie leaking down her thighs, you kinda stop caring about pacing and just enjoy the dark little corner of the galaxy you’ve built for yourself.

The audio mix in The Pilot is a goddamn mess and I can't stop thinking about it. Not the music, that's whatever, some generic space opera swells that feel like they were ripped from a royalty free library titled Star Conflict or something. I'm talking about the wet sounds. The squelch. There's this one scene with Hera, not even the main event, just a quiet moment in the cockpit after a mission debrief, and the sound designer decided her lekku needed a texture. When she shifts in her seat, there's this faint, almost sticky noise, like a damp towel being slowly peeled off a tile floor. It's wrong. It's not how skin on leather sounds. But it stuck with me more than any of the actual sex scenes, which is a problem.

The sex scenes themselves, the CG hentai stuff, are fine I guess. Liara shows up, because of course she does, it's a Mass Effect grab bag in here. Her voice direction is bizarre, all breathy and detached, like she's reading a grocery list while someone fumbles with her biotic amp off screen. The animation loops are stiff, the usual three frame pump cycle, but the foley work is where it gets unhinged. There's a moment where the rebel pilot, your generic self insert, gets a handjob and the sound is less skin on skin and more like someone is aggressively stirring a bowl of cold mac and cheese. I actually paused and checked if another app was playing audio in the background. I checked my phone. Nope, just the game's commitment to making every physical interaction sound like a plumbing issue.

The choice mechanics are there, you click, the story lurches forward. Something about Rogue Squadron and finding answers. I forgot what the question was. The visual novel bits between the alien encounters are padded with so much silence you'd think your sound card died. Then suddenly, a door whooshes open with a sound effect straight out of a 90s Star Wars game, the exact same one from Dark Forces when a blast door opens on the Death Star plans level. It's so jarring it loops back around to being the most authentic part of the whole parody. I wish they'd spent half as much time on the dialogue mix as they did on making sure you can hear every individual finger unstick from a Twi'lek's hip. They won't fix it, obviously. But that mac and cheese sound is going to live in my head rent free.

The first time you fire up this thing, you're greeted by what looks like a Flash game from 2005 that someone left in a dusty corner of the internet. The UI is clunky, the menus feel like they're held together with tape, and the "training" minigame is basically just clicking on a blue alien's crotch until a bar fills up. Not exactly the polished Star Wars parody I was hoping for. But then the code words start working. INDIANATK, Nispack, DASTRA. Typing those in unlocks these weirdly specific CG scenes that are so much better than the actual gameplay they're almost from a different project entirely.

The art style is that particular brand of early 2000s CG hentai where everyone looks slightly plastic but in a way that somehow makes the explicit stuff hit harder. There's this one scene with a Twi'lek that I kept coming back to, not because the animation was smooth (it wasn't, it was like five frames on loop) but because the artist clearly spent all their time on the lighting and none on making the faces not look vaguely terrified. The Jedi trainer character has these dead eyes that follow you, but the body work is genuinely good. I don't know how to reconcile that. The sound design is basically nonexistent except for this one wet noise that plays on repeat during the oral scenes and it's mixed way too loud. Like someone recorded themselves stirring mac and cheese and just slapped it in there.

Wish there was more to do with the smuggler password beyond unlocking a single image set. The whole thing feels like a demo for something that never got finished, which honestly might be exactly what it is. The lottery ticket mechanic is just a glorified gallery unlocker. You're not really playing anything, just typing words and watching scenes. For a quick session though, the Twi'lek content alone is worth the zero dollars this probably costs. Just don't expect it to make sense as a game. It's a fap folder with extra steps and a Star Wars skin that's legally distinct enough to avoid lawsuits but not enough to avoid recognition.

Okay, so the loading screen is literally just a stormtrooper helmet. That's it. No title, no music, just this white helmet staring at you. And I sat there for a good fifteen seconds thinking my browser froze. It didn't. That's just the game. This whole thing runs on that kind of energy, like someone built it in a basement with a very specific checklist of kinks and zero interest in polishing anything else. The first real choice is in a cantina, and the background looks like someone smeared a JPEG, but then you get a closeup of Ahsoka Tano and suddenly the rendering budget comes back from the dead. Her lekku are, uh, very present.

The dialogue is wild. One minute you're discussing supply lines with a rebel contact, the next you're getting a handjob from a slave girl because you picked the option that said "accept gratitude." No buildup, just straight to a 2D art scene that's surprisingly explicit. The corruption arc for Rey is where things get genuinely interesting. You basically gaslight her into thinking the dark side has better orgasms. There's a moment where she's wearing this half-ripped jedi tunic, and the text describes her "confused but aroused" expression in a way that made me laugh out loud. It's so earnest. The sandbox structure means you can just bounce between locations, and somehow the Mos Eisley bar has more sexual tension than the actual brothel planet you unlock later. The brothel planet has better handjob scenes though, I'll give it that.

The humor is completely accidental. A stormtrooper will miss you from two feet away, you'll click a dialogue option like "persuade," and suddenly there's a vaginal sex scene with a character who was trying to arrest you. It's like a fever dream directed by a horny twelve-year-old. The Ahsoka content is the most fleshed out, probably because the author clearly has a thing for her. There's a whole side plot where she's corrupted by a dark side artifact, and the art during that sequence... look, I've seen things. The dystopian setting honestly feels like an afterthought compared to the sheer volume of nude mods. Wait, there are no mods, this is just how the game ships. That helmet is still staring at me from the browser tab. Maybe that's the real review.

So I fired this up on a lazy Sunday, right, and the whole premise is basically a casting couch parody with Ahsoka Tano. Not the real one obviously, some 3DCG model with those head tails and orange skin. The animation is janky as hell, like someone learned Blender last month and said fuck it, ship it. But weirdly that adds to the charm? No it doesn't, it's distracting. The mouth movements during oral scenes look like a fish gasping for air.

You click through different action combos and the scenes branch out. Groping leads to handjobs, handjobs lead to blowjobs, you know the drill. There's this one moment where you pick a sex toy from the table and she gives you this look, and for a split second the facial expression actually works. Then it breaks again. The interracial tag is there because the male protag is clearly not a Twi'lek, just some dude with a dick that clips through her stomach during anal if you angle it wrong. Classic simulator problems.

The male domination angle is pretty upfront, she's auditioning and you're the director calling shots. Some dialogue choices are so cringe they loop back around to funny. "Show me your Jedi reflexes" had me wheezing. The masturbation scenes are whatever, but the vaginal sex animations have this one rhythm that almost syncs with the sound effects. Almost. I spent way too long trying to unlock all the branching paths because the completionist brainrot is real, even though half the scenes are just the same loop with different camera angles.

Forgot to mention the parody aspect is paper thin. She says "snips" once and that's your lore connection. The rest is just porn with orange body paint. Still, I kept clicking. Something about the jank makes it more engaging than those polished but soulless VNs flooding itch.io these days. Or maybe I'm just down bad for Togruta. Don't @ me.

You know what gets me about these Sith training simulators? Nobody ever talks about the actual logistics of corrupting someone. Like, she shows up at your creepy dark lord cave already kicked out of her Jedi academy, already "hungry for power," already basically gift wrapped for corruption. Where's the challenge? I wanted to earn that fall from grace, not just... receive it like space amazon delivery.

But then the training started and I forgot to be mad about it. The domination mechanics aren't subtle at all. You bend her over your meditation chamber console and she's already wet before you've said three words about the dark side. The creampie animations are surprisingly detailed for something that feels this unpolished otherwise. Her big ass jiggles when you finish inside her and the game just... lingers on it. No fade to black, no tasteful camera angle change. Just her leaking on the floor of your ship while she asks about force choke techniques. The tonal whiplash is something else.

The oral sex scenes unlock way too early. I had her on her knees before I'd even explained what the Sith code actually means, which feels like bad teaching methodology. She's supposed to be this prodigy who mastered every academy path but she drops to suck you off with zero resistance. The corruption system is basically just a progress bar that fills up every time you fuck her or make her do something degrading during missions. I sent her to assassinate some rebels on Tatooine and the game gave me the option to make her do it naked. She didn't question it. Just... complied. The Jedi really dropped the ball with this one's training. Or maybe that's the point? The game keeps hinting she might betray you but honestly she's been nothing but a cock hungry apprentice so far. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop but right now she's just my personal force sensitive fleshlight who occasionally force chokes people for me. The sandbox elements let you repeat training sessions and sex scenes which is nice but the missions are where the real degradation happens. Made her crawl through a cantina on all fours while I watched through a security feed. The patrons didn't react. That's either a bug or the most depressing commentary on Outer Rim society I've ever seen.