You wake up in Rick’s garage, half hungover, pants around your ankles, and he just shrugs and opens some glitchy portal that looks like he coded it while drunk on cheap vodka. Next second you’re dumped into this fucked up version of their universe where everything is familiar but just a bit too wet, too soft, too shiny. The first thing you see is Beth’s ass in yoga pants, bent over the kitchen counter, arguing with nobody because Jerry doesn’t exist here. Or he exists but not as a man. You, apparently, are the stand‑in loser. This world is stacked with huge tits and thick asses walking around like it’s normal, and you’re somehow the only guy with working dick, but the joke is you’re broke, useless and everyone treats you like background noise until you prove you can do more than jerk off in the bathroom.

The game plays like somebody smashed an rpg with a horny sandbox and forgot to clean up the code. You wander around the Smith house, sometimes the dialogue hits, sometimes it looks like the dev wrote it on a bus. Beth flips from “responsible doctor mom” to “thirsty milf ready to ride your face” depending on your choices, and it’s messy in a good way. First time she dragged me into the garage and climbed on top, the camera bugged and her tits clipped into my forehead, looked like I was getting smothered by two balloons full of milk. Still hot, though. Summer is worse and better at same time. She acts like she’s too cool for you, glued to her phone, calling you creepy stepdad, then suddenly there’s this event where she’s stuck doing squats in these tiny booty shorts and if you picked the right options earlier she just casually spreads her legs on your lap like that’s normal family bonding. There’s a mini “quest” where you have to grind a bit of cash from random odd jobs, then blow it all in one night at some sketchy bar because a cop with big tits promises “special treatment” in the bathroom stall and then crashes the scene halfway when the wrong variable triggers. I had her talking like Beth for one line. I laughed way too hard.

What I liked is how dirty some scenes are without pretending to be romantic. Vaginal stuff is front and center, no ten‑minute build up, you can just end up balls‑deep in Beth on the couch while the TV shows some static cartoon and the UI text overlaps the cum animation. Sometimes you get stuck in this loop where you’re grinding affection points and money at same time and it feels like a shitty mobile game you secretly enjoy on the toilet. Sometimes the pacing just breaks and you go from jerked‑off loser to pussy magnet in two choices. It’s not stable, not clean, the porn logic is dumb, and the whole “nut your way home” thing already doesn’t make sense five minutes in, but when Summer is riding you in her messy room with her big tits bouncing and the game forgets to fade out the footsteps sound from the hallway, you kinda stop caring that half of it feels like a bug report waiting to happen.

War is technically happening somewhere in Ahras, but this game treats it like background noise while you’re busy staring at tits and trying to remember which herb makes people extra horny and which one just makes them lactate like a busted tap. You’re not a hero, you’re an alchemist refugee who stumbled into this “safe” city that looks peaceful on the surface and then slowly shows you it’s basically a fuck buffet with a fantasy veneer. The guild hires you because they need potions, but everyone treats you less like a worker and more like a walking excuse to experiment on their own bodies. You sit in this little workshop, surrounded by bottles, stains on the table that probably aren’t all chemical, and a constant stream of adventurers with big asses, bigger chests, and problems that can always, somehow, be solved by you touching them a bit too much while “checking side effects”.

One of the early moments that hooked me is when this knight girl comes in, all stoic, armor too tight around her tits, complaining about fatigue and sore muscles. You brew a stamina tonic, misjudge the ratio on purpose, and she ends up flushed, nipples hard and leaking through her tunic as the potion pulls milk from somewhere deep in her body. She tries to keep a straight face while her breasts get heavier, her voice shaking as she asks if this is “normal for alchemy”. You don’t even answer, you just ask to “inspect for adverse reactions” and suddenly you’re cupping those huge, warm tits, thumb brushing a nipple while milk beads at the tip, and she’s trying not to moan in the middle of the lab. The art sells it: soft lines, slightly messy, like a sketch that got horny and refused to stop. Nothing too polished, which actually fits the setting; it feels like a dirty notebook you shouldn’t be reading at work, yet here we are. I played this on my phone in the bathroom at the office using Firefox and honestly, it was dangerously manageable. One hand scrolling, the other hand, well. Let’s just say Face ID almost failed after.

The game plays loose and lazy with time. One moment you’re buying ingredients from a smug cat-eared merchant girl whose tail won’t stop twitching when you brush against her, the next you’re babysitting a monster girl party member whose idea of testing a transformation potion is to ask you to grope her thighs while they shift. The sandbox feeling is there: you pop open the menu, poke around quests, forget the main story because some stacked cow-girl adventurer just unlocked a “special” alchemy route involving milking tools and “stress relief”. There’s teasing everywhere. Furry ears getting pulled, tails wrapped around your waist, hips grinding your lap under the excuse of “balance training”. One scene has a mage using you as a chair while reading, your hands pinned under her ass, and when you finally wriggle free she smirks and “accidentally” spills a potion that makes her clothes almost transparent. The story pretends to care about redemption and trauma, then ten minutes later you’re testing a breast enlargement recipe on a shy healer who’s clearly into you fondling every new inch. I kept getting annoyed that the merchant’s inventory page loads like half a second slower on mobile than the other screens and then forgetting it mid-fap because the next CG drops some new angle of a fat ass sitting on your face. It’s messy, horny, weirdly cozy, talks about war like it’s weather, and treats bodies like clay you can knead, pinch, fill, and milk until everyone’s panting and your workshop smells like sex and herbs.

Phone Story looks harmless when it loads, like one of those cheap mobile chat sims you open on Chrome while pretending to check Slack. It is not harmless. It is that slow, nasty itch in the back of your head if you like watching “what if my girl had someone else in her DMs” kind of stuff. You play the husband who goes away, but honestly the main character is Lisa’s damn phone. Half the game is you reading her messages and deciding how much rope you want to give her, then pulling it back too late. You don’t click through some porn slideshow and right into “she’s on a couch with a giant dick in her.” The game takes its time. First it’s just flirty texts, a photo with “is this too much?” kind of teasing, her asking your opinion, your “friend” dropping those little comments that sound harmless until you reread them in incognito at work and realize you’re basically writing your own cuck script.

The pacing is weirdly strong for a messy hentai VN. Sometimes one choice just makes her send a slightly spicier selfie, sometimes it jumps right into a scene where she’s on video call, touching herself, trying to convince you it’s “for you” while that friend’s name keeps popping at the top of the screen. Classic anime-wife look, soft face, kinda innocent expression, but you can watch the corruption slide in bit by bit. She starts dressing more revealing, talking about “just hanging out” with him, a little wine, harmless cuddling, totally not cheating, right? Sure. Then you get those AI-looking CGs where she’s on her knees, lips glossy, your friend’s bbc in front of her mouth, and she’s still typing some sweet romantic bullshit to you with the other hand. The game loves making you stare at chat bubbles while she’s getting filled somewhere offscreen or in a small mirrored reflection. Proper voyeurism energy. The actual sex scenes hit all the usual spots, vaginal, anal, her pinned to a table, riding, messy facials, the whole thing, but the part that sticks is when she looks happy and guilty at the same time and you know it’s half for you and half for herself. Sometimes the writing slips and a line sounds like it came out of Google Translate, but honestly that kinda fits the vibe. On Android Chrome the text boxes get too big and cover half the art, which annoys the hell out of me, and if you tap too fast you skip a good line and there’s no quick log button right in your face, you have to dig for it. Also one route feels like it jumps from “maybe I’ll flirt” to “raw creampie from your buddy” in like two clicks, like the dev got horny and forgot the slow burn. Still, if you’re into netorare or softer netorase stuff, that moment when you tell her “yeah, explore a bit, just don’t forget me” and later you’re literally watching her try anal for the first time with someone else because you told her it’s fine, that hits way harder than it has any right to. And yeah, sometimes you tell her to stay faithful and the game almost seems annoyed, like “are you sure you don’t want to watch?” but then it gives you these surprisingly sweet romantic scenes where she masturbates with the phone propped up, moaning your name while she’s already mentally halfway to the neighbor’s bedroom. Not subtle at all, but that’s kind of the point.

Everything in this game feels like someone took the “wizard school after the war” idea, then slowly twisted it with horny fingers, one scene at a time. You play as this guy who survived the big final battle, and suddenly you’re thrown back into school life, but it’s not really school like you remember from the books. The tone is quieter, heavier, very “post-war hangover”, with ghosts of trauma in the background, and also a lot of naked people in corridors. What hooked me is how slow it starts: long conversations in dim classrooms, walking around the castle, the sense that characters actually lived through shit. They’re tired, bitter, horny, lonely. I like that kind of pacing: you don’t just click twice and boom, blowjob. Sometimes you’re stuck in a talk with Hermione about ethics of rewriting fate, and you can feel she’s half grieving, half curious how far she can push her own limits. It’s hot in such a weird, broken way. And then the next moment she’s on her knees under a library table, and you’re trying not to laugh because the game doesn’t even pretend to be subtle.

The fantasy side goes pretty wild, but in a way that still feels grounded in that “magic school with rules” thing. You get these scenes where elven girls show up as part of some rebuilding exchange program, all proud and formal, talking about treaties, then you click through a few choices and suddenly an elf is jerking you off in a dusty storage room while arguing about wand regulations. There’s a tentacle bit too, of course there is, and I kind of hate that I enjoyed it. It’s not just monster porn thrown at your face. There’s this old forbidden spell experiment under the school, drifting and half-alive, and when it finally touches one of the girls, the writing slows down like it’s describing an unwanted memory that slowly turns into desire. Her clothes peel away like they’re losing a fight, she gets pinned wide open, slick and breathing fast, and the protagonist is both turned on and terrified. It’s fucked up, but not cheap. Then again, sometimes the game feels cheap, like when a serious moment about loss turns into instant tits-out stripping minigame and weirdly clunky blowjob animation. I still replayed that scene three times, so clearly I’m not innocent here. What I keep coming back to is the world-building: the dorm gossip about who fucked a “reformed” dark creature in the forest, staff meetings that hint at old grudges, Hermione pretending to be above it all while letting you slide your hand between her thighs during a “study session”, her voice cracking when you finally push inside her on that creaky classroom desk. The art is rough in places, some faces look a bit off, but somehow that makes the filthier scenes even nastier, like fan art that went too far and never looked back. It’s romantic and soft and disgusting and sweet and stupid, all at the same time, and I keep telling myself I’m here for the time travel plot when I’m clearly staying for the way she moans around your cock during a sloppy blowjob behind a half-broken statue of the founder.