Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

You wake up in the car with your neck hurting like shit, seatbelt half twisted, phone buzzing with that one stupid notification about a “business meeting with Furina”, and from that moment the game just quietly tells you, yeah, something is wrong and you’re not getting a normal day. It feels like those mornings after you fell asleep grinding in Genshin and then dream leaks and memes got into your brain, only this time the dream walked out into your world instead. The game plays it like a reverse portal story: she is the one ending up here, in your boring modern city, in your cramped little corporate life, and you’re stuck doing this weird dance of “I’m a professional adult” while your cock and your curiosity are both completely not professional at all. The jokes land in that cheap, shitpost way, like some horny dev fused a doujin, a Discord server and one of those “AI generated” fan pics that look almost right but the eyes are a bit too knowing. Furina acts like your boss but also like she is cosplaying being human, and in between her playful bullying and fake HR talk she slowly starts pushing you into more… hands-on “meetings”.

What I like is how the choices always start tame and then spiral. You get something like: “Answer politely” or “Flirt a bit” and you think, ok, no big deal, and ten clicks later she is on your lap in the parked car, your seat pushed back, her fingers wrapped lazily around your dick while she keeps talking about quarterly reports with that smug look like she knows you’re two taps away from nutting in your pants. There is this one route where you try to stay strictly work focused, and she punishes you for it by going even harder on the teasing. Like, she kneels in front of you under the desk, “checking the wiring,” and your only real control is whether you look down at her or pretend it’s not happening while feeling her lips slide around your tip, slow and wet and way too noisy for an open-plan office. The oral scenes feel properly filthy, especially when she keeps that fake managerial tone while choking on you, mascara already a bit fucked, and the art leans into that AI-slick style where everything is slightly too perfect. Sometimes the fingers look off, yeah, or a stray strand of hair melts into the background if you stare long enough, but honestly when she is staring up at you with her mouth full, tongue pressed under the shaft, you don’t exactly care about anatomy errors. Kind of wish there was a fully cold, cruel route where she uses you more without softening, but the game keeps bringing her back to this bratty, chaotic energy that somehow feels nicer than it should. I’m not complaining. Actually I am, but I still kept replaying to see every way she could drag me from anxious “meeting” to completely used and emptied in places I shouldn’t be fucking my boss at all.

Apartment looks normal in the afternoon. Cheap rent, cracked wall, neighbor’s TV bleeding through the concrete, the usual city trash. Then the lights twitch once, your Spotify glitches, and suddenly you’ve got two naked ghosts in your living room arguing over who gets to sit on your lap first. The game just throws that at you, like, “yeah, this is fine.” They’re not the “booo I will kill you” type either. More like “I will ride your face and then maybe cry about my tragic past later.” You move back to your hometown thinking about CVs and boring job hunt hell, and instead you’re juggling spectral titties the size of your head and trying to remember which dialogue option raises which hidden stat. Honestly feels like Excel, but horny.

The daily loop is weirdly chill and horny at same time. You wake up, check your messages, maybe go out for a side gig to get some money, then come back to this cursed apartment where the real grind starts. One ghost leans into the shy, soft thing, boobs pressed against your back when you cook, acting like she “doesn’t know what a handjob is” while obviously knowing exactly how to milk your cock slow enough to make you beg. The other one? Gremlin energy. She floats upside down, skirt hanging, ass in your face, making fun of you for blushing while she wraps her toes around you and starts a footjob on the cheap sofa like it’s just another Tuesday. I had a moment where she literally popped through the wall while I was trying to sleep, sat on my chest, pinning me, and whispered in my ear that if I didn’t touch her she’d “haunt my balls.” That scene escalated into sloppy oral so fast I forgot I was supposed to be scared. The game calls itself horror, and yeah, some of the midnight events actually hit that creepy “why is the hallway longer than before” vibe, but then you’re groping a ghost’s huge tits in a dark bathroom while the mirror reflects nothing but your own hands. Honestly I got more scared of missing a route flag than of any jump scare.

The messy part is the sandbox structure. You kind of wander between work, random paranormal events, and slow unlocking of their “memories.” Each ghost has scenes gated behind affection, lust, and some mysterious value I still don’t fully get because I forgot to track one variable on my notes and now my spreadsheet looks like a crime board. One night you get a tender blowjob where she’s on her knees, drool running down your shaft while she tries to keep eye contact like it’s important for her soul or something, and the next night the same girl phases through the floor, grabs your dick from below the bed, and the game just calls it a “playful surprise.” I loved that. Actually, no, it annoyed me, because I could not figure out what time slot combo triggered it again. There is a tiny spirit thing that acts like a horny tutorial and lore dump, floating around telling you where to poke the curse, but half the time I ignored it and still got scenes to trigger, so I’m not even sure if it matters. Some routes feel polished, with multi-stage events, like the progression from clumsy handjob on the couch to her confidently riding you, tits bouncing so hard they clip through your view and you kind of forget it’s 2D, and other times you just get a short tease and nothing after. I kept waiting for more intense paranormal horror in the corridors, then got distracted because the busty ghost bent over the kitchen table and asked if you wanted to “test how solid her ass feels from behind.” So yeah. This apartment is a mess, the pacing is janky, the boobs are ridiculous, and I’m still counting flags like a nerd while getting sucked off by a dead girl who moans your name like you’re the only thing keeping her in this world.

Red arriving to this tiny Japanese village feels a bit like a runway model getting dropped in the mud. He comes from the city, full of porn brain and zero manners, and suddenly he is stuck between rice fields, bugs, and this old wooden house that smells like tatami and miso. As a fashion designer, my eyes go first to fabric and body lines, and Yuko, the grandmother, is basically a walking lingerie sketch that got trapped in an apron. She has this soft, heavy chest that keeps pulling the cloth away from her body, like the shirt is begging to open. Big hips under loose cotton, no bra at home, of course. Everything is too thin or too tight in the wrong place. If you ever tried a see-through yukata after shower and forgot panties, you know the vibe. The game leans hard into that. There is this scene where Red is helping her hang laundry outside, sun hitting the damp fabric, and you see her bra and panties dripping on the line. The camera lingers way too long on the granny panties, but they hug that ass with a kind of accidental sex appeal. I paused there to think how I would redesign them in black lace with a higher cut, but then Red starts staring at the outline of her nipples through the wet blouse and, yeah, focus gone.

What I like is how slow the corruption feels at first. Red pretends to help in the fields, gets sweaty, comes back inside, and just sits there with his legs wide, cock pressing his shorts, watching her bend over the low table. It is not subtle. You can see his erection shape, and the game does not shy away from that. When he "accidentally" brushes against her tits in that tight little kitchen, you feel that tension where she kind of freezes. Yuko starts as this quiet, polite, almost plain woman who hides everything inside baggy clothes, but once he starts teasing, she becomes a lingerie project that is slowly getting cut open. There is a point where he pulls her close while Hiroshi, the old farmer, is just outside, and his hand slides inside her top. The art really loves breasts, every curve, every fold where fabric presses into soft skin. He squeezes them while she tries to whisper "stop" and her body is clearly not stopping anything. Later, when he pushes his cock between her lips for the first time, it is messy, wet, and honestly more rough than romantic, and her mascara slightly smudged look hits this strange runway-afterparty fantasy. I hated one tiny thing though: his shoes. Ugly as hell and I could not stop seeing them in every standing scene, like why give so much detail to veins on the dick but those plastic-looking sneakers stay. Anyway, once the voyeur stuff kicks in, with Red fucking her from behind in cramped rooms while grandfather shuffles around nearby, the whole farm turns into this hidden catwalk of sin, where the only outfits that matter are half-open yukata, bunched-up skirts, and the marks his fingers leave on her thighs after he spreads them wide and buries himself inside her, again and again, like he owns both her body and her wardrobe.