Royal Madness is probably the closest thing to a horny fairytale written by a very drunk court painter who really likes cats with huge tits and smug faces. You’re tossed in as Lewis, bastard ocelot prince, and the world instantly treats your royal blood like a kink rather than a title. It’s not subtle about it. Every rival, every “enemy,” every supposed threat ends up circling one question: are you fucking them into your harem, or are they turning you into their cute little pet instead. The game doesn’t pretend to be noble. It treats power as a sex toy and nobility as an excuse to collar people and re-style their bodies until they match your tastes a bit too perfectly.

What I liked is that the characters aren’t just recolors of the same cat-girl with different boobs. The art actually feels like someone sat there and thought “ok, what if a smug lioness warlord had hips like a fertility statue and armor that only makes sense if her nipples are a political statement.” Sometimes it looks messy, lines a bit shaky, anatomy going off on its own adventure, but that fits the energy. It’s not corporate clean, more like horny sketchbook that got out of control. There is this rhino general, for example, huge chest, scars across the muzzle, and when you win their challenge the magic doesn’t just slap “now they are pretty” filter. No, you literally watch the body warp piece by piece, broad muscles smoothing or sharpening, maybe the tits swelling stupidly big while they gasp halfway between outrage and getting turned on by losing. That slow change hits way harder than a simple “transformation finished” screen.

The actual structure is that loose sandbox style where you hop from one hot mess to another, switching perspective between male and female protagonist when the story feels like it, not when you are ready. One scene you’re Lewis using magic to slowly erode the pride of a tiger knight, teasing him until his cock and even his voice betray how much he wants to kneel. Next time the game flips and you’re playing as one of your own ex-rivals, now loyal, wandering your palace and accidentally starting something filthy with a new intruder who thought they’d be the one on top. That shift is the fun part. You see the same harem from different eyes, sometimes as a conqueror, sometimes as the newest toy, sometimes as the one being “improved” by your own magic. And the kinks slide around too. One route gives you a stacked lion queen that you carefully nudge from terrifying monarch into doting, overprotective mommy dom, then another throws you against a seemingly submissive bunny clerk that ends with you collared, hips reshaped, moaning her name while she tests how flexible ocelot royalty can be when properly “reformed.” Half the time I was cursing at the tiny UI buttons and weird pacing, the other half I was staring at the screen of my phone on the tram, trying not to bite my lip like a complete idiot.

If you really want to squeeze every filthy drop out of it, don’t rush straight to the obvious sex scenes. Poke around the challenges, lose on purpose sometimes, see how the transformations twist when you’re the loser instead of the victor. Talk to characters again after you’ve changed them, especially the big tits crowd and the ones who pretended they didn’t care about you. Watch how their new bodies and new roles corrupt their own original goals. Treat each battle less like a level and more like a negotiation with the world’s nastiest fashion designer. That’s where the game actually gets hot.

This one feels like I walked into my own gallery at closing hour, lights half off, and there is just this one piece on the wall that will not let me go. A retired hunter, alone, pretending the world has moved on. And outside the door, a lovesick werewolf, so full of longing and hunger that it almost hurts to read. The game is short, yes, but it hits like a very focused exhibition: just you, the wolf boy who never really stopped chasing you, and a forest night that smells of wet fur, blood, and someone you used to fuck or maybe should have. You pick your pronouns, you name your hunter, but it still feels like the story already knows you. It treats you as if you have history with this creature. The first time he steps out of the dark, half monster, half man, teeth shining, eyes too soft for that body, it’s like some twisted fairytale where the woodcutter secretly wanted the wolf all along.

What I liked is how the erotic bits grow out of that mood instead of just dropping from the sky. The build up is slow and sticky: brushing against his fur, the way his tail twitches when you threaten him with your old hunter voice, the way he still calls you like you’re the only person in the world who ever mattered. And then it becomes very physical, very fast. There is dry humping that feels desperate, almost clumsy, like he has been replaying this moment in his head for years and actually touching you overloads him. The handjob scenes are messy, all panting and grinding, like he wants to climb into your skin. I liked the oral a lot because you feel it from the hunter’s point of view, the heat of his mouth, the wet noise, the way he struggles to keep his fangs away from your cock while still licking you stupid. There is cock warming too, with that strange mix of comfort and filth: him buried in you or wrapped around you, both of you not really moving, just breathing and trembling while his knot or his mouth keeps you trapped. It is strangely tender, even when there is biting and marking, your neck, your chest, his claws in your back, like he is carving his name into an old property. Sometimes it gets a little too wordy, like the writer is afraid to shut up and just let you sit in the silence between thrusts, but then you get one perfect line like “you taste like home” and my brain just stops.

CGs are few but they land nicely, like catching flashes of explicit sketches in some NSFW Twitter scroll that you shouldn’t open at work. Him on top of you, eyes glazed and needy, fur matted, your body pinned under claws that could rip you open while his cock presses hard against your stomach. Or that moment where he’s between your legs, ears back, cheeks flushed, mouth full of you, wolfish features twisted around devotion and greed. The multiple endings make the sex feel heavier, because you know you might break him for good. One wrong choice and that romantic, horny monster you just had rutting against your thigh with his tongue hanging out can end up bleeding in the dirt because of you. It’s a game about fucking, yes, but it is also about how much power you keep over someone who loves you enough to let you kill him. I played it on mobile in bed, screen too bright, one hand scrolling and the other wandering lower every time he whined your name. At some point I got annoyed that the text box covers just a bit too much of his body during one of the best scenes and I kept adjusting my phone like that would fix it, and now I can’t stop thinking about that tiny stupid issue instead of going back in for the last ending. Anyway. The sound of him begging, even just in text, sticks in your head like a good meme you don’t want to share with anyone. This is not a clean story, not emotionally and certainly not physically, and that is exactly why it works.

Dirty little war story, that is what this feels like. You’re this guy, Hidu, ex-soldier, merc now, and the world doesn’t give a shit whether you survive or not. City is rotten from top to bottom, nobles throwing money and bodies around like it’s Tinder Gold, and under that there is this whole mess of beastfolk, horny cult types with horns everywhere, and a lot of asses that probably shouldn’t be as fuckable as they are. It reads like somebody mashed a grim fantasy novel with Pornhub search history and forgot to clean their browser after. Text hits you first, quite a lot of it, more like sexting with a crazy ex who also knows how to worldbuild. Then the illustrations pop in and you go “oh, ok, that fox girl actually has ridiculous tits” and you lose the thread of the political intrigue for a second.

Controls are simple, choices on the screen, you poke around like in a sandbox, only instead of Minecraft blocks you’re rearranging who gets tied up and who gets fucked. Sometimes you walk around the port, visit some shady bar, try to act like you care about missing enforcers, and suddenly you’re balls deep in a chained-up futa wolf who could probably break your spine if you slip the tongue wrong. There is this one scene in a warehouse, I swear, where I meant to just interrogate a captured spy. I picked the rough option, thinking “ok, light intimidation,” and five clicks later I’m slapping this curvy catgirl’s ass, collar around her throat, making her beg to take it in the ass too. The game lets you slide from “I’m a professional mercenary” to “I’m the daddy you hate to love” without really putting a line there. Felt a bit like when some guy in my cam chat tips extra and suddenly the roleplay gets darker than I planned, but I kinda enjoy it anyway.

I like that Hidu is not written as some awkward virgin fantasy loser. He knows what he wants, he can be a real bastard, but not always. You pick if you break someone or tease them, and sometimes the text hits this nice brutal honesty like, “yeah, he’s doing it because it turns him on, not because it’s noble.” Kind of refreshing. But then, once or twice, the game acts like you had some huge character arc and I was like, when? I just spent ten scenes railing a goat-horned futa in every hole she has and calling her my pet, don’t pretend I’m suddenly noble hero. And there is a tiny thing that annoyed me: the text boxes sometimes scroll at weird moments, cutting a sentence where I really wanted to sit with it, like right when it describes sliding into a tight ass or when she finally stops fighting the rope and melts. It’s small, but my brain fixates on that more than on who is killing all those enforcers. Plot is there, sure, war, gangs, some big storm coming, whatever. I kept getting distracted by whether the next scene would let me stuff both pussy and ass in the same chain of choices or if I had to pick. Also, furry stuff: if animal ears and tails make you wet, you’re going to be happy, the game doesn’t treat them as a joke. Some of these girls, and a couple of those futa “girls”, are absolute meat. Thighs like they could crush your skull, tits that probably break armor, and you topping them anyway, choking them out gently or not so gently, reading the lines and thinking “yeah, this writer has seen some dark Pornhub categories too.” And then out of nowhere, there is like three paragraphs about the city smell and the broken cobblestone and merc guild politics and I found myself skimming, then feeling guilty because actually it’s pretty decent, then immediately skipping again when the next anal scene appeared. I’m not proud. Actually I am. Whatever.

Whole world gone to shit, cities eaten by zombies, and what you get is not some heroic soldier fantasy, but a fucked up little family bunker where everyone is too close, too horny, and way too bored. The game throws you in as the male MC, stuck with your “relatives” in a half-ruined safehouse, watching the world rot from the windows while you juggle food, ammo, and the fact that every woman under that roof keeps walking around in underwear like it’s a normal thing. It starts kind of slow, like a messy point and click management sim: you check supplies, patch walls, send people out to scavenge. At first it feels almost normal, like one of those survival browser games you’d run in a second tab while pretending to work on Slack. Then it begins to twist. The longer you play, the more you notice how often the camera lingers on curves, on that milf’s big ass squeezed into tight shorts when she climbs a ladder, or how your “sister” stretches on the couch while the radio talks about the end of humanity. The horror part is not just zombies scratching at the door, it’s the fact that you start to like the tension.

What really got me hooked is how the corruption doesn’t slam into your face from the first click. It drips. You choose who goes on patrol with you, who showers when, who sleeps where. Little “innocent” choices, yeah? Until one night you peek through a cracked door and she’s masturbating in the dark, trying to be quiet so nobody wakes up, and you get a voyeur scene that actually feels earned. Another run, you push more, tease more, and you end up “accidentally” groping her in a cramped storage room when you both reach for the same box. Suddenly her shirt rides up, your hand stays on her big tits a second too long, and the game just lets that silence breathe. You know that porn game moment when you click once and everything jumps from 0 to full gangbang? This is not that. Here you grind affection, trust, and straight up manipulation like XP. You decide if you want to be protective or a sneaky bastard, if you share rations as reward for oral sex, if you let her go outside wearing almost nothing, turning scavenging runs into walking exhibitionism while zombies groan in the background. There is group sex if you push the corruption hard enough, and some nasty netorare edges too, where you can watch someone else touch “your” woman, and the game just sits with that feeling instead of trying to comfort you. Half the time I was aroused, half the time I was uncomfortable, and weirdly, that’s why it works. It’s rough, a bit clunky, UI looks like it escaped from a porn site in 2012, and I still kept a tab open in Chrome all week, min-maxing food and morality while the family slowly forgot what real society was and started using each other to stay sane. Or insane. Whatever. Just remember: in this wasteland, survival is numbers, sex is a resource, and privacy is completely dead.