Crossunder Academy looks at you and goes, “yeah, you’re the new kid, you don’t know shit, but here, have power anyway.” You roll in thinking it’s just another school VN with some tits glued on, and then they throw you into the Student Council and suddenly you’re the class president, fake tie, fake responsibilities, and very real chances to fuck half the campus if you don’t screw it up. It starts tame, like a dating sim pretending to be serious: club budgets, school events, that kind of filler. Then you figure out every boring “proposal” conversation is basically foreplay. The shy club rep who wants more money for “equipment” leans over your desk a bit too far, blouse a little too tight, and you’ve got the classic choice pop-up: act professional, tease her, or slide right into horny territory and test how far she’s willing to go to get that funding. You know which one you click. Don’t lie.

The fun part is how it mixes the puzzle feeling with porn without turning into some clicker trash. You’re not matching gems or anything stupid like that, you’re juggling scenes. Say the wrong thing to one girl and she gets jealous when you’re alone with her teacher later, and suddenly that nice slow blowjob under the desk becomes “sorry, I can’t, people will talk.” Say the right thing and the same teacher is on her knees, glasses fogged up, working your cock like she’s grading on a curve. Some routes feel like you’re solving a horny jigsaw puzzle with horny pieces. You’re planning event schedules while secretly thinking, “ok, if Hermione-clone student nerd and that thick aunt-looking lunch lady are both there, can I push them into some exhibitionist shit?” and sometimes the game actually lets you pull it off. There are moments where the camera settles into POV and it’s just you, her big tits pressed right into the frame, your cock between them for a messy titfuck, and the sound design goes from cartoony to “oh, someone actually cared here.” Then next scene a different girl is doing this ahegao face like she’s auditioning for a meme compilation and it almost kills the mood, but you keep clicking because, well, creampie counter is not going to fill itself.

It leans hard into the fantasy faculty and campus girls archetypes. You’ve got the prim bookworm who clearly wants to be ruined in the library after hours, the fake innocent student council girl who’s absolutely into groping behind closed doors, the curvy “tradwife” type who talks about cooking and chores while riding you raw, and that one busty older woman that might as well have “MILF” written on her forehead. Half the time you’re trying to act like a respectable president in meetings, half the time you’re lining up which corridor to “inspect” so you can corner someone and see how far she’ll go if the hallway cameras are “mysteriously” off. There’s teasing everywhere, a little too much sometimes: she’s in your lap, skirt hiked up, grinding on you, moaning in your ear about how wrong it is in a school setting, and the scene still stalls until you pick the right dialog line before it lets you finally push inside. When it does click though, the game doesn’t flinch: deep throat, sloppy oral, thick ass bouncing in your lap, cum inside, cum outside, cum on her face while she’s making that stupid cross-eyed expression. It’s messy, a bit goofy, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes clunky as fuck, but it feels like an actual degenerate school fantasy where your choices matter just enough to make you paranoid you missed one more filthy route.

Didn’t expect a parody game about cartoon moms and princesses to hit that weird sweet spot between trashy and oddly sincere, but here we are. It starts all innocent - bright colors, the kind of smooth animation that screams “safe for work” for about five seconds before the camera decides it’s not. The first scene with Violet trying to figure herself out (and failing, spectacularly) caught me off guard. She fumbles, she blushes, she *asks questions* like a real person instead of a scripted puppet. Then Helen shows up, and the tone flips. Suddenly it’s not awkward anymore, it’s charged - like someone turned the thermostat up but forgot to tell the characters. I laughed once, then shut up quick. Didn’t expect to feel anything, honestly.

The transitions are too slow, though. Like, you can feel the kinetic novel format dragging its feet sometimes, holding poses too long between lines. But the writing sneaks up on you - it’s not clever, but it’s self-aware enough to poke fun at itself. Elsa and Anna showing up later? Total chaos. The kind of chaos that makes you question who’s actually in control - the player, the “director,” or the girls themselves just deciding they’re done pretending. There’s one scene - you’ll know when you see it - where everything goes from soft kisses to something much rougher, and you can practically hear the line snapping between “curious” and “corrupted.” And yeah, the POV angles are shameless, but that’s kind of the point. It’s not pretending to be art, even when it accidentally becomes it for a frame or two.

What sticks isn’t the sex (though, okay, the anal bit was animated way too well for a parody). It’s that weird emotional aftertaste - like watching a bootleg Disney ending where nobody gets redeemed, they just get *real*. The soundtrack fades out, the light lingers on sweat-slick skin, and you realize the game never promised catharsis, just exposure. And somehow, that’s more honest than most “serious” adult titles trying to act profound.

Street brawls and horny brain rot in one place, that is basically this thing. You’re running around a city that feels like somebody mixed a fighting tournament with Pornhub search history, and then just said “yeah, that’s fine” and left it like that. One moment you’re throwing hands with Chun-Li, trying not to stare at her thighs for too long, next moment you’re balls deep in her, watching her go full ahegao while she still talks shit like she’s winning the match. It’s not subtle at all. Juri Han shows up and the whole vibe switches from “street justice” to “I might actually be her pet now and that’s okay”. She’ll stomp you, choke you a bit, that lazy evil grin on her face, then ride you until you forget what your health bar looked like. Half the time it feels less like a normal game and more like some bizarre therapy session where all your kinks get dragged out one by one and no one pretends to be innocent.

What got me hooked was how the fights never feel separate from the sex. You start a match thinking “ok, normal 1v1, let’s try some combos”, and fifteen clicks later you’re pinning Lucia Morgan against a wall in some alley, her uniform half-open, sweat and cum everywhere, the “victory” screen basically being her legs shaking while you give her a creampie. There is this one scene with Cammy where you lose on purpose, just to see what happens, and instead of a boring game over she flips you, takes control, rides your face and makes you cum with nothing but her feet. It’s that kind of game where you think you’re the tough male protagonist, then a woman like A.K.I. grinds her heel on your chest, poisons you, and uses you like a toy while you’re barely conscious, and your brain goes, “yeah ok, I guess I’m into that now”. And it doesn’t stop at quick fucks either, there is romance woven in, that weird tender moment after all the filth where someone like Manon or Lily Hawk leans in, kisses you slow, and talks about wanting your child, then later you see her tits swollen, pregnant, still ready to ride you again before the next fight. The game is messy, horny, animated in all the right ways, a mix of big asses, creampies, footjobs and domination, and sometimes you wish the story was less all over the place, but honestly that chaos kind of fits. It feels like scrolling through three different porn tabs and a fighting game wiki at the same time, except here it all somehow clicks together and leaves you way more drained than you planned to be.

Snake Siemen is such a dumb name that it kinda works, which is the whole vibe of this game anyway. You’re basically Talon’s horny intern, except Doomfist actually trusts you with something ridiculous: break D.Va. Not just capture, not just fuck, but twist her from cutesy idol pilot into Talon’s personal cock-hungry asset. The story pretends to be serious sci-fi for like two minutes, then you’re already in a room with D.Va strapped down, squirming, still talking shit and trying to act brave while you decide if you’re going to go soft psychological route or straight-up “you’re mine now” brainwashing. I liked that her voice has that annoyed, bratty pitch, like a streamer forced to shill some crappy mobile game, but under it you can hear a little shake when Snake starts touching her without asking. The moans shift from “ugh, don’t touch me” to “f-fuck, don’t stop” pretty slowly and it’s actually hot as hell watching (and hearing) her get rewired day by day. Sometimes she sounds too clean, though, like the mic is high quality but the emotion is not always there. Still, when she gasps your name during a forced blowjob scene and there’s this wet choked sound as you push deeper, I had to pause the game and just breathe for a second.

What made me stick around is how mean you’re allowed to be without the game flinching. You can keep her in that tight Talon bodysuit just so your hands have more material to grab while you grope her tits and ass, fingers digging in while you whisper trash into her ear, and then flip straight into a mind control trigger where her eyes glaze over and her voice goes flat, like she’s reading a sponsor script. “Talon-sama, please use my throat.” It sounds so silly written out but in context, with that slightly fake idol voice trying to act obedient, it hits hard. The Widowmaker and Sombra stuff sneaks up later, which is funny, because the first time Sombra shows up she basically hijacks your fun and you have this three-way power struggle: you, her, and D.Va’s brain. There’s a scene where Sombra is pressing D.Va’s head down on your cock, talking in that smug voice, while you feel D.Va’s tongue hesitate, then slowly give in. The audio there is great, lots of sloppy sounds, little gagging, that muffled whine when you grab her hair and drive her all the way to the base. I wish Widowmaker had more interesting lines instead of just cool assassin porn talk, but whatever, her cold tone when she calls D.Va “Talon’s little toy” had me rewinding on VLC like three times.

The domination vibe is very clearly from the male side, no confusion here. You’re not some nice guy, you’re basically HR’s worst nightmare with a budget and a private cell. There’s corruption, there’s conditioning, you press her against cold walls, you make her kneel, you reward her with your cum like it’s a promotion. At one point you use a command phrase and she drops mid-sentence, falls to her knees and starts unzipping your pants like it’s the most natural thing in the world, mumbling that she “needs to serve Talon properly” while her lips wrap around you. That line reading is a bit stiff, but the way her breathing speeds up when you grab her head and hold her there is the good stuff. It’s not subtle. It’s not sweet. It feels like some cursed mobile porn game ad that actually followed through on the fantasy it teased, instead of bait and switch. And yeah, it’s totally wrong, and that’s exactly why it sticks in your head long after you close the browser and pretend to check Outlook.