Didn’t think I’d even bother with another “casting couch” parody, but WaifuHub kinda trapped me there for a while. It’s one of those browser things that pretends to be ironic, except it isn’t, or maybe it is, I don’t even know anymore. You play as the guy behind the camera, interviewing all these anime girls you’ve seen a million times before - 2B shows up all confident and stiff, Raphtalia’s nervous like she’s in a real audition, and Lucoa just… well, she’s Lucoa, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The voice acting’s weirdly uneven, and sometimes the moans cut out at random, which somehow made it more real? Like catching some clumsy home-recording vibe. But yeah, the animations hit that point between funny and hot. You’ll laugh when Galko starts her self-introduction too seriously and then forgets she’s supposed to be seducing you, and then it hits you - you’re actually into this.

What got me wasn’t even the sex scenes (well, okay, some of them). It’s that stupid fake dialogue right before things go wild. Meiko saying she’s “totally professional” and then two sentences later losing it on camera - it’s dumb but oddly human. I kept noticing small stuff: the sound of sandals scraping, the way hands twitch when the pace changes. The dev probably didn’t plan half of that; it’s just dirty accident magic. Though I swear the skip button hates me - it freezes every other time I touch it. Doesn’t matter though, since you end up watching everything twice anyway. And Cheelai? She breaks the fourth wall once and it ruined me, I laughed so hard I forgot I was supposed to jerk off.

Somewhere around Mitsuki’s scene I caught myself thinking about how strange it is that we build whole universes of desire around characters that started out as jokes for teenage boys. Then I gave up thinking because Mina’s turn came and - yeah. Animation’s rough around the edges, lines are bad, the logic is nonsense, but damn if it doesn’t feel alive in that broken way cheap porn sometimes does. I still can’t figure out why 2B blushes differently depending on the camera angle. Maybe it’s intentional. Probably not. Doesn’t matter.

College should be about boring lectures and shitty coffee, but in this game it’s just sex, trouble, and that slow brain rot you get from scrolling horny memes instead of studying. You play as Will, trying to act like a decent boyfriend while your girl April walks around campus dressed like a wet dream with legs. She’s got that “good girl who knows exactly what she’s doing” vibe, smiling sweet, bending over too far, licking her lips when she knows you’re watching. Everyone looks. Some pretend not to. Some don’t even bother. And you just sit there thinking, yeah, I’d die for her, but I’d also kill the guy who keeps staring at her tits during class. Then you see the same guy in her DMs later and your stomach just drops in that very specific netorare way.

What got me hooked wasn’t even the orcs and elves at first. It was all the small human shit. April sends you a pic that’s “just for you,” tongue out, eyes rolled, drool on her chin, full ahegao like she’s already been fucked stupid, and you notice in the corner there’s a tiny reflection, like a shadow of someone else there. Or that party scene where she’s grinding on you on the dancefloor, her ass pressed into your crotch, and out of nowhere some tall orc bastard slides his hand down her hip. The game lets it hang for a second too long. Her eyes meet yours, and you feel that mix of jealousy and pure arousal punching you in the gut. She doesn’t pull away fast. That tiny pause is where this thing lives. You’re half hard, half sick, and the AI art smiles like it knows what it’s doing. The interracial stuff doesn’t show up as some big speech, it’s just in the way an elf girl casually runs her tongue along April’s neck in the bathroom stall, or the way a minotaur bartender looks at your girl like she’s already on his cock and you can’t do shit about it. Vaginal, oral, tits bouncing, spit dripping down chins, cum painting those big curves, and then she still calls you “babe” like nothing happened. Feels bad. Feels amazing. Both.

It’s a kinetic story, so you mostly watch, and somehow that makes it worse. No choices to save her, no reload to “fix” a scene. You just sit and take it while April slowly tests every line, from teasing selfies she “accidentally” posts where half her nipple shows, to “harmless” flirting with some rich guy promising to help with tuition if she keeps him entertained. At one point she’s kneeling between a stranger’s legs while still wearing the necklace you gave her, cheeks hollowing as she takes him deeper, eyes glossy, and you know she’s cheating even if the story never shouts the word. The exhibition stuff hits hard too: bathroom mirror pics with her panties already around her knees, blowjob under a library table while people walk past, her riding someone on a couch at a house party with the door wide open and her tongue out like a pornstar. The 2D art goes from kinda cute to absolutely filthy in seconds, and sometimes the AI details glitch a bit, like a finger looking weird, and it annoyed me so much I forgot what I was saying, but then the camera angle drops low between her thighs and that clean, wet slit fills the screen and I’m just staring. The whole thing feels like scrolling through some cursed folder you shouldn’t have found on your own phone. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

First thing you notice is how tall she is. Not just tall, but that kind of unfair, “I could crush your skull between my thighs and you’d say thank you” tall. The castle feels built for her, not for you. Doors are too big, ceilings too high, shadows too long. You start as this regular guy who somehow walks into the worst possible horny nightmare: a fucked up old mansion twisted into a playground for a giant vampire lady who looks a lot like a certain tall queen from that zombie game, but here she’s even more cruel, more smug, and yeah, way more horny. The whole place is like a maze of wet whispers and creaking floors. You move from corridor to corridor, waiting for that click of heels behind you, knowing that when she catches you, it’s not a game over. It’s a different kind of punishment.

What surprised me is how the game mixes horny and horror without trying to be subtle. One moment you’re creeping through some dark library, watching dust in the beam of a flickering lamp, and the next she’s got you pinned against a stone pillar with one massive hand around your throat, nails at your chin, staring down with that “you’re nothing but a toy” look. She teases the fact you’ve got these weird powers, like the world is broken and you’re some glitch that can slow her, shove things with your mind, twist reality a bit. Sometimes you use them to push a wardrobe in front of a door while she’s hunting you. Sometimes you fail and she catches you, drags you off, and then it turns into this obscene little trial where she decides if you get milked with her tits, jerked off lazily while she yawns, or just taken straight, hard, with your legs shaking and her laughing when you cum too fast. She treats creampies like trophies. There’s one scene in a ruined chapel where she rides you in a broken pew, stained glass behind her, and after you explode inside her, she stands up and you literally see it drip down her thighs while she calls you “useful.” I hated how much I liked that. I also hated that the inventory menu sound is too loud and it annoyed me every single time, and the game never fixes it.

The best part is that it often feels like you’re playing some fucked up dating sim from hell, where romance is twisted into this toxic, possessive thing. She’ll act gentle for ten seconds, stroking your hair, almost soft, then flip and use you like a living stress toy. You can try to play smart, pick dialogue that pushes back, use your powers to resist, but honestly, half the fun is failing and seeing her switch into full female domination mode. There’s a section in the dungeon where a monster girl variant of her shows up, more feral, claws scraping the floor, and if she catches you, she doesn’t bother pretending to be classy. She just tears open your pants and uses you. It’s rough, messy, and still weirdly romantic in this fucked up way, like you’re the one sane person stuck in a dystopian porn dream and the universe keeps asking if you’re sure you want to say no. The whole thing feels like a parody of that survival horror game everyone knows, but it leans hard into the “you’re prey and you kind of like it” angle. It’s ugly in some places, awkward in others, but when she bends over, tits spilling out of that dress, smirking because you can’t stop staring at her ass while ghosts whisper in the walls, all the weird edges suddenly make sense.

God Tier Academy feels like somebody smashed a horny dating sim into a shounen anime and then said, “yeah ok, but what if we don’t give the MC any actual power and just see how fast he dies.” You’re this dude with busted, unstable magic, officially a nobody, secretly shoved into the top freak school in the country as a spy. The teachers can blow up buildings, the students are literal walking disasters, and you’re trying not to shit yourself while a government officer on your phone reminds you they’ll ruin your family if you run. It’s great. It’s also stupid. In a good way. Mostly.

What really got me is the tone whiplash. One scene you’re in a dark hallway, some monster girl with a tongue too long to be legal breathing in your ear, the game doing that slow zoom while the sound design goes all wet and sticky. Next scene you’re in a normal classroom, fighting sleep while the big tit combat instructor casually explains how to decapitate a demon “before or after foreplay, up to you.” The romance stuff swings between actually sweet and “ok this is straight-up hentai logic.” You can be in a semi-serious convo about trust and betrayal, and two clicks later you’re in a group sex mess on a training field where someone is using a magic shield spell to keep the cum from hitting the grass. There is teasing everywhere, lots of it feeling like those old ecchi anime jokes, but then the game just goes full “nope, we are doing anal and multiple penetration right now, no fade to black.” I liked that it doesn’t pretend to be classy. I also hated that sometimes it pretends to care about school politics for longer than 4 lines, but I forgot that as soon as one of the girls did that ahegao with glowing eyes after a blowjob scene that transitions straight into a horror-styled jump scare. Don’t ask, it actually works. Kind of. Maybe.

Multi-lover stuff is where it gets messy in the best way. You can clearly angle for several romance routes at once and the game doesn’t slap your hand. There’s this one moment in a dorm common room where you’ve already been getting handjobs and oral from two different girls on different days, and a third one walks in, monster girl type with claws and soft voice, and realizes you’ve been flirting with everyone. Instead of the usual jealousy drama, she basically negotiates terms like a damn lawyer: “Fine, but when we do group training, you’re mine first.” That later turns into an animated group scene where she’s riding you, another girl is on your face, and some very enthusiastic dude from the combat club joins in like this is the most normal thing after sparring. The male-on-male angle is treated pretty casually, more like “yo, you’re hard, I’m hard, we’re in a storage room, why not” than big identity speeches, which honestly fits this setting better. There’s also a classroom scene where you’re supposed to be learning spell control, but everyone ends up using the practice barriers as privacy screens for blowjobs and quick anal, while the UI still pretends you’re making serious “tactical choices.” One tiny thing that drove me insane: the mobile interface sometimes hides the text box right when a character is mid-confession, so you tap, and suddenly you jump from “I think I might love...” straight into a creampie animation. No idea what she said. Probably important. I kept meaning to rewind, and then I didn’t.