Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

Stormhill looks fancy at first, all gold roofs and clean streets, but the game makes it feel dirty in a good way pretty fast. You’re the spoiled heir everyone secretly hates, walking through this city like you own every brick, and yeah, you kind of do. But the best parts are when that rich boy attitude crashes right into raw, sweaty street sex. One moment you’re being polite in some high-class hall, the next you’ve got a girl with ridiculous tits bent over a balcony while the whole district is right under you. The camera loves to sit a bit back, like it’s peeking, so half the time you feel like a creep watching your own scenes. There’s this bit early on where you corner a girl who pretends she’s too proud for you, all noble and cold, and then two lines later she has your cock in her mouth, mascara smudging while you hold her head and just use her throat. I thought it would feel generic, but the way she slowly stops pushing your hands away and starts going deeper on her own… yeah, that stuck in my head way too long. I still hate the font they use in the dialogue though. It’s stupidly small on mobile and I keep squinting, then forgetting I was even mad once her ass jiggles again in the next animation.

What really works is how the “gang building” thing is just an excuse to collect a harem that all needs to be put in their place. They say you’re trying to escape your father’s control, but half your choices are about how hard you’re going to control everyone else. There’s this scene in a dusty warehouse where you’re “negotiating” with a rival’s girl. Negotiation ends with her pinned against some crates, panties pushed to the side, and you sliding into her while she’s still trying to talk big. You grab her tits, they’re huge and soft, and you can watch the exact second she breaks, legs wrapping around you while you pound her ass so hard the boxes behind her start shaking. The game lets you choose to finish in her or pull out, but be honest, nobody is pulling out here. The creampie close-ups are stupidly detailed, like the camera gets almost too close, cum leaking back out while she’s still trembling and whispering your name. Later, there’s an alley scene where you’re supposed to just watch two side girls fool around, licking each other and grinding, and I swear I was planning to keep it “romantic”, then the option to join pops up and suddenly you’re shoving your dick into one while the other sits on your face. I think I hated that scene. Yeah. Totally hated it. The anal bits hit harder than I expected too, especially one rooftop moment where you press a girl against the railing, slide into her pussy first, get her all wet and noisy, then slowly push into her ass while she claws at the stone and begs you not to stop. It’s rough, it’s messy, and the game loves to linger on your hands groping every curve like they belong to you already. I opened it “just to test it” on my phone while waiting for a food delivery, and fifteen minutes later I’m hunched over my screen, thumb tapping through dialogue, completely forgetting I even ordered anything. The story tries to play deep with empires and politics and all that, but it honestly works better when it drops the serious act and just lets you be the absolute bastard king of a city full of big tits, big asses, and mouths that keep saying no while their bodies do something very different.

Happily married, nice house, good sex, normal life. On the surface it looks like boring vanilla couple from Instagram. Underneath, both of them are horny as hell and lowkey too curious for their own good. One day it’s just playful teasing on the couch, her sitting on his lap in those tight shorts, his hand sliding under the fabric while some Netflix trash plays in the background. Next time, she is “jokingly” sending a pic in her underwear to that fitness trainer from the gym, and you suddenly realize the game is not about simple husband fucks wife. It is about how far you let them go before everything breaks. Sometimes you control him, sometimes you control her, and sometimes it feels like you control nothing and just watch your own bad decisions catch up, like a slow car crash with big tits and messy creampies.

The nice part is how small it starts. Like, he scrolls through her phone when she is in the shower and sees some messages that are a bit too flirty. You can choose to ignore, confront, or pretend you are “cool” and play the open couple. You think, ok, I’m going for the honest, mature route, good communication and all that Reddit bullshit. Then the game slaps you with a scene where she is bent over the kitchen counter, describing how some stranger at the bar grabbed her ass and how wet it made her. The groping is not just random either, you actually see how her body reacts, how she starts to enjoy the attention, how her eyes change when another guy touches her thigh under the table. There is this one moment on a crowded rooftop party, she stands close to another man, short dress, no panties, your character sits opposite and pretends to laugh with the group. Camera angle shows her hand slowly guiding his fingers higher over her inner thigh while she keeps eye contact with you. You choose if you let it happen, stop it, or get off on watching. It feels like someone mixed voyeur porn, cheating fantasy and that “oh fuck I made a mistake” feeling into a cocktail.

Sex scenes are not shy at all. When she goes down on someone, you see tongue, spit, everything animated, her fingers digging into his thighs, him grabbing her hair. There is standard stuff like oral and vaginal, but it goes into anal and foot job territory pretty quick if you follow the more corrupt path. I actually laughed when she used her foot to stroke some guy’s cock under a restaurant table while talking about vacation plans with her husband, like this weird mix of TripAdvisor and Pornhub in one shot. And it’s not just her being used either. Sometimes she flips, pins him to the bed, rides his face, tells him when he is allowed to come, full femdom mood. In one route, she straddles him in the car, pulls his hands away when he tries to touch her tits, and makes him beg just for a handjob. Later on she lets another man finish inside her and then comes home to her husband with that “innocent” big ass bouncing on his lap, and if you chose the wrong answer before, he has no idea there is still some other guy’s cum inside her. You can get interracial scenes, shared partners, proper swinging situations where everybody pretends it’s just sex, no feelings, while the game quietly keeps track of every look and every tiny jealous reaction. It feels weirdly real at moments, like when he secretly jerks off to a video of her getting railed by someone else, hand shaking, shame and arousal fighting. And then ten minutes later there is a silly scene of her teasing him with her feet while scrolling TikTok, because this game never decides if it wants to ruin your heart or just make your dick hard.

Guy gets fried by lightning on the way from his boring office job and wakes up as the new dark overlord. Sounds badass, right? It actually feels more like getting dumped into horny hell with a to-do list. You’ve got a demon castle, a bunch of monster girls who either want to serve you, ruin you, or sit on your face, and a curse inside your body that randomly flares up like the worst horny migraine ever. One moment you’re checking resource numbers and troop morale, next second your vision goes blurry, your body heats up, and you’re pinning a monster girl to the wall, pounding her while she’s got that full ahegao face, drool hanging, tongue out, eyes rolled. The game doesn’t fade to black, it goes all in. Animated sex scenes, hips actually moving, tits bouncing, ropes tightening, soft moans turning into straight up screaming when you decide to go rough. I keep pausing to capture the best frames into GIFs, then going back because I miss whole animations. It’s stupid how many times I rewound one anal scene with a slimy tentacle girl wrapping around the hero like a hentai octopus hug.

What I didn’t expect is how the management and rpg stuff keeps baiting you into lewd trouble. You open the map just to plan some combat, then some “innocent” patrol report pops up with a busty orc girl who “failed her mission” and now needs punishment. You can humiliate her in the throne room, bend her over the steps, slap that big ass until it jiggles, then decide if you’re fucking her like a toy in front of frightened underlings or actually comforting her with slower vaginal sex. Both still end with her broken, panting, eyes blank. Or that virgin elf mage you recruit, acting all pure and holy, but the first time the curse really bites you in front of her, you lose control, shove her against a bookshelf, tear her clothes and fuck her until she’s drooling and begging you to corrupt her more. She goes from “please, dark lord, control yourself” to “don’t stop, use my mouth too” really fast. There is some light combat, yeah, you smack monsters around, get loot, level up, but it mostly just feels like foreplay to unlock new positions, toys, and kinks. The bdsm scenes surprised me. Ropes look tight, skin goes a little red if you keep spanking, chains rattle when she tries to squirm away, and there’s this humiliation angle where you make monster girls lick your boots first, then your cock right after. It hits that fantasy of being absolute bastard overlord, even though the guy is still kind of clueless office worker inside, panicking in his own thoughts while his body is happily choking a girl with his dick. Honestly, the small UI sounds are too loud on mobile and it annoys me every damn time I adjust volume, but then the next scene has a monster girl choking on your cock with tears in her eyes and you kinda forget everything.