Danny McCroy feels like that dude you see in a bar on a Tuesday afternoon, a little too confident, a little too horny, and somehow the universe keeps putting wet, messy situations in his lap. The game throws you into his skin and just lets you stumble from one filthy encounter to another with barely any attempt to pretend this is “wholesome romance”. You get a bit of story, some light plot about his life, but honestly it’s just scaffolding so he can end up face-first between someone’s thighs or buried in a thick ass that probably defies physics. I kinda respect that. It’s like the dev looked at subtlety and just said “nah, we’re here to make your dick do the thinking”. You click through dialog, tease a bit, pick some horny options, and suddenly he’s got his tongue in places and his hands in places and occasionally both at once. When the first scene where he actually goes down on her happened, the build up was just enough to make it feel earned, but not so long that I opened Twitter from boredom. Good balance, for someone clearly very focused on holes.

What surprised me most is how unashamedly the game treats older women. The MILF in here isn’t just a side dish, she walks into the room and everything kind of rearranges itself around her tits and her ass like gravity got confused. She’s not written like some fragile mom fantasy either. She’s bossy, a bit mean, and when Danny finally gets between her legs, it feels like he’s working for it, tongue doing overtime while she pulls his hair like a handle. The scene where she makes him focus on her first, riding his face and grinding till he’s basically suffocating in pussy, was way better than I expected. Then later, when she casually reaches for a toy from the bedside drawer like she’s done this a thousand times, and tells him to keep going while she fills herself even deeper, that’s the moment I sort of forgot I was “reviewing” anything. The pacing there hits that sweet spot where you’re half annoyed by how long she teases and then suddenly he’s stretching her with his hand, knuckles disappearing, and you just think, yeah, that escalated nicely.

The game does have this thing where it really wants Danny to be a universal key that fits every lock. Younger girl, older woman, tight body, big tits, asian beauty with that careful makeup and soft voice that hides a real nasty side once she spreads her legs. He somehow always has the same cocky grin, whether he’s licking slow up a slit, tongue circling the clit, or he’s pushing in from behind and staring at the way her ass bounces when he slams her. There’s an anal scene where she pretends to resist at first, just a little, then that first moment when he pushes past and her face shifts from “no way” to “oh fuck” is honestly the best expression work in the whole thing. I wish they had that level of attention on every scene, but then there are moments where dialog feels like it was written in a rush, like a bad porn title got turned into a line. Still, when he’s got a toy buzzing on her clit while he fucks her from behind, watching her tits sway and her ass shake, it all sort of melts together into this messy, dirty, low-class kind of hot. It’s not elegant. It’s not trying to be. It’s like Danny’s whole world is just mouths, tits, asses, and holes to fill, and honestly, sometimes that’s enough.

This whole thing feels like someone took every anime waifu you've ever crushed on and threw them into a blender with gacha mechanics. Pocket Waifu's got everyone - Megumin doing her explosion thing, Lucoa being all thicc dragon energy, even Tatsumaki looking perpetually annoyed while somehow being incredibly fuckable. The clicking gets mindless fast but honestly? That's kinda the point. You're not here for complex gameplay, you're here because seeing Rias Gremory in progressively skimpier outfits while numbers go up hits some primal part of your brain that retail therapy usually handles.

The progression system is whatever - click, level up, unlock scene, repeat. But fuck me the variety is impressive in a chaotic way. One minute you're getting a titjob from Lucy Heartfilia, next you're balls deep in some Nikke girl whose name I can't pronounce. The animations aren't groundbreaking but they get the job done, especially when Erza's doing that thing with her tongue or when Hinata finally stops being shy and goes full slut mode. Rosa from Pokemon looking absolutely stacked was not something I expected but here we are. The costumes unlock pretty regularly which keeps things fresh - nothing beats seeing Darkness in a maid outfit begging for it.

What's wild is how they managed to cram so many different series together without it feeling completely schizophrenic. Though honestly the Kobayashi dragon maids feel a bit out of place next to the more explicitly sexual characters, but whatever, Ilulu's tits make up for any tonal inconsistencies. The anal scenes with Sakura Matou hit different when you're three hours deep into idle clicking. Sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be managing resources and just end up staring at Yor Forger's ass physics for way too long. The mobile interface works fine but occasionally the click detection gets wonky during the more intense scenes which is annoying when you're trying to... multitask.

Everything in this game starts with that awkward feeling of coming back to a place that’s supposed to be “home” but actually feels like a porn parody of your own memories. You’re this guy who returns to his old city for college, carrying some emotional baggage, a phone that never stops buzzing, and a dick that gets him in trouble every ten minutes. It pretends to be a normal school slice-of-life at first, like “oh, classes, dorms, new people”, then suddenly you’re in a party bathroom getting a messy drunk blowjob from someone whose name you don’t even remember, while your in-game notifications keep reminding you you’ve got an exam tomorrow. There’s this really specific vibe: half coming-of-age, half “how fast can I ruin this dude’s life with bad choices and hot people”. And honestly, it works. Mostly.

The game lets you wander around the campus and the city, so you bump into scenes instead of having them thrown in your face in a straight line. One time I just went to the gym because I was bored and somehow ended up peeking through a tiny window into the staff shower, watching a thick Black PE teacher wash off after practice, her ass taking up half the screen while the protagonist slowly strokes himself. That voyeur stuff is handled in a really messy, human way. He feels like a perv, not a hero, and it’s kind of hot and kind of gross at the same time. Then later, if you actually talk to her and don’t act like a total creep, there’s this whole slow-burn thing where she teases him in class, does the “lean on your desk so her tits are in your face” routine, and eventually you end up railroading her in the equipment closet, switching between titjob and deepthroat while she keeps calling you “kid” like that is not making it hotter. The animation is unpolished, some loops are clumsy, but the body language sells the scene better than a lot of big-budget stuff. Faces actually show embarrassment, annoyance, or that “okay, fine, I want this too” kind of look. Then in the very next scene, the MC has this overconfident smirk that made me want to slap him. I liked him and hated him in the same click.

What’s very queer in spirit, even if the content is straight-focused, is how the game doesn’t pretend sex exists in a bubble. You’re not just picking “blowjob” from a menu. You text girls on your phone, get weird drunk voice notes, and watch them shitpost memes on their in-game social app. There’s this one storyline with a mixed-race classmate who deals weed on the side to pay rent. You can either be judgy or join her little side hustle. I went full disaster and helped her. There’s a scene in her cramped room where you’re both high, music from her shitty Bluetooth speaker buzzing, and the conversation just slides from “what are you running from” into her sitting on your face. It’s not some perfect porn angle; her thighs cover half the screen, her belly jiggles a bit, and the camera awkwardly moves when she grinds too hard. Then she pulls off your pants and lazily strokes you, gives you this sloppy half-committed blowjob, almost like she’s testing how much you can take. If you push your luck, she just climbs on and rides you raw while laughing about how terrible your pull-out reflex is. The creampie is framed as both hot and kinda stupid, and the next morning she’s texting about Plan B and money while you’re still replaying the way she shivered when you came inside her. Romance and drama get tangled with all the dirt: arguments in the cafeteria, jealous looks in the hallway, a “friendly” handjob under the table that clearly isn’t just friendly. Sometimes the combat bits feel random, like “oh, now we’re suddenly punching some asshole at a club”, but the bruise on your face shows up in the next scene where some girl licks your busted lip before going down on you, so at least the game remembers. I just wish the bathroom doors didn’t all open the same way; it bothered me for no reason, and now it lives rent free in my brain. Anyway. The whole thing feels unstable, horny, queer in its messiness, and a little too honest about how sex, drugs, and bad choices mix together when you’re pretending to be an adult.

Konosuba: The Harem Adventures feels like someone took the original anime, spilled horny fanfic all over it, then decided, “yeah, this is fine” and clicked publish. You wake up as the usual unlucky dumbass hero in Axel, tossed into another world where monster girls want to kill you, then ride you, then maybe both at the same time. The game pretends to be about quests and turn based combat and all that, but everyone knows why your mouse is hovering over Aqua’s tits instead of the “attack” button. Half the time you’re joking with her about her useless goddess act, then the next scene she is on her knees, drool on her chin, eyes rolled back in perfect ahegao while you think, “yeah, this is exactly what she deserves.” The writing leans into the humiliation, the teasing, the whole “she’s divine but still choking on your dick” thing without blinking. It is not subtle. It is not trying to be.

Then there is Darkness, who looks like a walking BDSM fantasy and acts like someone switched her brain with a masochistic attack dog. The game really plays with that. You pick a “normal” romantic answer and she somehow twists it into “please degrade me more.” During combat she is supposed to be your tank, taking hits from monsters, but the game keeps cutting to little animations where she is basically cumming from pain, armor sliding off, ass taking up half the screen. It is funny at first, then hot, then slightly pathetic, which is also kind of hot if you are honest. And in town, when you go into the more sandbox parts, you can push her a bit further every time: a “training” session that starts with standard handjob and ends in anal with her begging you to hit her harder, while the scene keeps that goofy Konosuba humor. It never lets you forget this is a parody, but it also doesn’t shy away from being straight up filthy. Same with Megumin: she is obsessed with explosions, obviously, but here her climax is treated like a literal blast, with the build up in combat turning into sexual build up in her private events, including a scene where she has you pinned, riding you with this unhinged grin, moaning about “releasing it all at once” like she is talking about magic. The game knows exactly what it is doing.

Outside the main trio, the game broadens into pure harem chaos. There is the milf innkeeper who looks like she walked out of some cheap porn ad on the side of a pirate site, but her scenes are shockingly tender for a game that also gives you a succubus who basically turns you into a walking cum dispenser if you are not careful with your choices. The succubus events are surprisingly mechanical too, tied to your combat progress and “energy” in a way that can really screw your runs if you let her drain you dry in one of those animated footjobs or slow, teasing oral sessions where she pretends she is doing you a favor. There is light incest teasing from one of the new girls that made me roll my eyes, because it goes right to that line and dances on it longer than needed, but the game clearly knows its audience and doesn’t apologize. Some routes feel like a dating sim with actual romance, some like pure porn logic, and sometimes the same girl flips between genuine warmth and cartoonish ahegao in the span of one conversation. It can be whiplash. Still, the mix of teasing, exhibitionism in town events, and little scenes where the male protagonist is clearly still a virgin at heart trying to act like a harem king gives it this strange, almost honest undercurrent. He is not a noble hero, he is just a horny isekai loser who somehow ended surrounded by big tits, big asses, a few monster girls, and way too many chances to make the worst possible choice. Which, to be fair, is kind of the point.