Shinji and Asuka stuck on a lonely rock in space, bored out of their horny minds, forced to play strip blackjack while Rei just stands there like the most fed up dealer in history, is already the kind of cursed energy I like. The game doesn’t pretend to be deep, it just throws you right into this petty little war of ego, tits and underwear. First hand I played, I hit “Shuffle and Go” on reflex like I was on my phone opening Tinder, and suddenly I’m staring at Shinji trying to look brave while clearly one bad card away from crying again. Asuka, of course, is talking shit every time the numbers swing her way, and that smug face when you bust is so punchable it actually made me double down and keep playing. I lost the first round on purpose, totally not because I miscounted like an idiot. Watching them peel off clothes one piece at a time while still nagging each other felt like someone mixed a casino, a fanfic, and a shitpost Discord call.

What I really like is that the blackjack itself actually works. It’s not some fake “press button to win” thing. You hit, you stay, you panic when your hand is at 19 and you’re staring at Shinji’s total like it personally insulted your mother. Score 21 with two cards and suddenly you’re the sexy genius at the table and you even get a piece of clothing back, which is the most toxic mechanic possible because it makes you greedy. You start thinking “ok one more round, I’ll get that top back” and then Rei’s cold little dealer routine ruins your life again. She barely talks, but the vibe is “I’m only here because you two won’t shut the fuck up” and honestly I felt judged by a cartoon girl while half naked sprites were flashing on my monitor between Chrome tabs with Twitter and Pornhub open. Also, there is this stupid tiny detail with the eyeball that I clicked by accident and I’m not spoiling it, but I swear it made me snort water out of my nose. The humor is stupid in a good way, like an old Newgrounds relic you find at three browser tabs deep after searching for “eva strip something maybe” and then suddenly you’re three hands in, half hard, laughing at Shinji, and forgetting what you were even supposed to be doing with your life.

I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

First thought when this thing loaded was basically “ok, this looks kinda jank… but I’m curious” and yeah, that sums it up. It feels like somebody really horny and slightly drunk decided to mash Demon Slayer waifus and a dating sim in one weekend, and somehow it works better than it should. You’re not grinding demons here, you’re grinding affection bars and lewd scenes, talking your way into the pants of Shinobu, Nezuko, Kanao, Mitsuri, Daki, Tamayo and a few others the dev clearly has bookmarked in his Rule34 folder. It plays like a visual novel with some light sim stuff stapled on: you click through scenes, make choices, pick where to spend time, watch numbers go up, unlock another scene where a “pure” girl suddenly rides you like she’s been training for it. Totally classy. Totally not classy at all.

What surprised me is how each girl has her own vibe, even though the game is pretty scuffed. Shinobu goes from teasing “ara ara, you’re kinda cute” into straight-up talking about how she wants to milk you until you can’t stand. Nezuko’s route leans into that quiet, needy thing: lots of blushing, sucking, licking, her climbing in your lap like a cat in heat. Kanao starts super shy, barely talking, and then there is this moment where you finally break through her coin-flip bullshit and she decides, with this tiny smile, that she’s going to “devote herself” to you. Two scenes later she’s on her knees, eyes glassy, letting you cum on her face, and the script doesn’t even pretend it’s about romance anymore. Mitsuri is just horny from the start and I respect that. She goes from “I really like strong men” to “please fuck me until I can’t walk” in like three dialog boxes. Daki is straight-up toxic, which is hot: she insults you, treats you like trash, then moans when you pull her hair and pound her so hard her demon composure breaks. Tamayo is the gentle one, but of course she ends up on a table, skirt pushed up, letting you take out “stress” on her while she tries to stay composed and fails. The whole thing swings from romantic to filthy in seconds, and it feels wrong in a fun way.

The actual game part is simple as hell. You pick spots, talk, give gifts, answer horny or sweet, watch affection rise, unlock another scene where clothes magically vanish. There’s no deep stat management, just enough clicks so it doesn’t feel like a pure gallery. Sometimes the pacing is weird: a long dialogue about feelings, then the next choice is basically “do you want to fuck her now or fuck her harder later” and of course you pick both. I liked one moment with Shinobu where you end up in a quiet room in the butterfly mansion, she’s fake-innocent, leaning closer with that smug smile, then the text hits you with her whispering what she wants you to do to her tongue, and suddenly this hentai Android game in my browser feels way dirtier than it looks. Another time with Nezuko, the CG opens and she’s bent over, drool on the floor, and the game just casually describes how she pushes her hips back, begging without words. Honestly I wish some scenes were longer, but also I don’t, because the short, punchy lewd moments keep you clicking for “just one more” like a degenerate. It’s rough, unpolished, sometimes cheesy, but when Mitsuri is bouncing on your cock, tears in her eyes, babbling about how she loves you and your “thick human cock”, you kinda forget it ever looked scuffed at all.

It’s strange how this one tries to pretend it’s a parody while actually getting way too sincere halfway through. You start thinking it’s just cheap fanservice - Mavis smirking in that hotel corridor, Katara leaning against the pool edge - but then, out of nowhere, the dialogues start sounding like somebody’s diary. My English isn’t perfect, but even I can tell when a line hits too real. The Ren’Py interface is fine, though I got stuck trying to adjust the text speed; the button hides behind a translucent menu that looks nice but messes with screen readers. I use NVDA sometimes, and it freaked out completely during the Starfire route. Accessibility zero points there, sorry. But then again, when you’re watching Raven blush and mutter something filthy under her breath, you kind of don’t care about menus anymore.

At first, I thought the 3D models looked stiff; then I noticed how the camera lingers - not on obvious parts, but the small gestures, fingers twitching, eyes half-closed, that moment before someone decides “yeah, I want this.” It’s erotic, yes, but also messy, human. And yet, sometimes, it feels like the devs wanted to prove they could make emotional porn, only to end up making emotional confusion. Kim Possible calling you “hero” right after a scene that’s absolutely not heroic? Weirdly funny. Like the game knows it’s broken and leans into it. I swear one of the background tracks loops a single moan for ten minutes - thought my browser crashed. Didn’t. Just art, apparently.

Also, can we talk about Gwen’s route? She keeps referencing tech stuff that doesn’t exist, like “I’ll hack your desire protocol,” which sounds dumb until she actually pulls off an in-game stat change mid-dialogue. That moment made me laugh so hard I forgot what I was doing. Maybe that’s the point. It’s clumsy, horny, self-aware, and frustrating all at once. There’s no polish, but there’s personality dripping from every busted transition. I hate it. I think I love it. I don’t even know anymore.