Public transport wifi is trash, Pornhub keeps buffering, so I ended up poking around this thing instead, and somehow it ate my whole commute before I even noticed. The idea is simple as fuck: you sit in this sleazy casting couch office, you’re the “professional interviewer” with a dick that thinks it’s the main character, and all these famous anime waifus walk in like they answered a shady Craigslist ad. It looks like one of those mobile VN ports you’d secretly tap through on the toilet at work, but it runs smooth in browser and doesn’t pretend to be more serious than it is. Girl shows up, you pretend to ask a few questions, then it turns straight into “how deep can she take it” faster than Instagram shows you an ad after you talk about shoes once.

The fun is how wrong it feels to see characters like Tifa or Asuna trying to play “shy actress” for two lines, then suddenly they’re on their knees, lipstick smeared, eyes rolled up in that full-on ahegao, spitting drool down your shaft while the MC keeps talking like this is some normal HR interview. One minute Kobayashi is awkward and stiff, sitting proper, skirt straight, asking if this is really “just a simple audition.” Next click, she’s bent over the arm of the couch, fat ass bouncing on your cock, glasses crooked, trying to sound professional while you pound her so hard the text box might as well just say “nnnngghhh” for three scenes. I had one run where Froppy came in super polite, stuttering a bit, tongue peeking out, and by the end I was making her swallow every last drop while she’s got cum on her cheeks, tongue out like some horny frog idol who forgot what modesty was. The oral scenes are honestly the best part. They let the camera sit a bit too long on the lips wrapped around that big dick, slurpy sound effects, stupid little bits of dialogue like “it’s bigger than I expected” that should feel cringe but I still clicked next like a clown. Vaginal stuff hits too, especially on the big tits / thick hips girls. Bulma riding you while pretending it’s “for science” made me laugh way more than it should. Her tits bouncing, her moaning into some bullshit excuse about “data collection” while your cock is basically rearranging her brain. And the MC is not subtle. There’s this one moment with Chizuru where she comes in with that rented girlfriend vibe, all polite smile and legs crossed, then the questions slowly get filthier until he’s basically asking “how many times you can cum on camera” and she just kind of gives up and spreads for him. No smooth romance buildup. Just straight to “get on the couch, open that pussy, let’s see if you can handle a creampie on first shoot.”

It’s all very obviously made to be “five minute fun” and yet I kept going through girl after girl like some horny goblin collecting skins in Genshin. The game acts like you’re running a low-budget porn studio, but there’s almost no management layer, just enough fake “casting” talk to justify why Tifa has your cock halfway down her throat. Sometimes that annoyed me. I actually wanted to pick outfits, choose lighting, fail a scene, bully them a bit more with choices. Instead it’s mostly “click line, get lewder, dick out.” But in a shitty way that also works, because when I’m half dead on the metro after work I don’t want deep strategy, I just want Asuna kneeling between my legs and calling me “director” while she drools all over my dick. I kept thinking, “ok, one more girl and I close Chrome,” then suddenly I’m watching Satsuki, who’s supposed to be this icy queen type, riding me with that smug face twisted into a full orgasm meltdown, tits bouncing like crazy, talking about how this is “only for testing.” It’s scuffed, sometimes the dialogue repeats, sometimes the transitions are janky, and at one point I got irrationally annoyed that the interview desk lamp is always tilted the same way. But when you’ve got a screen full of ahegao, cum strings on lips, big asses slapping against your hips, and a parade of famous waifus lining up to “audition” on your cock, that stupid lamp is the last thing you’re actually looking at.

This one looks innocent for like five seconds, and then you notice how Hinata bends forward when she talks to Naruto and her tits basically press against the screen. It is that kind of game. On surface it is just “talk with shy ninja girl from that old anime,” but the whole thing is clearly built so you keep staring at her huge boobs and stupidly tight outfit while you pretend you care about the conversation choices. She blushes, fidgets with her fingers, looks down, looks up, and every time you pick something a bit bolder, her body language changes. One line she just stutters “N-Naruto-kun…” like usual, next line she is breathing heavier and her ass is pushed out just a little more, like she is doing this on purpose. At first I thought it is silly fan parody, but then there was this moment where you choose to compliment her training, and the camera just slowly moves lower and suddenly you are staring at her chest instead of her face. I actually laughed, then I clicked the same branch again to see if it was a bug, and of course it wasn’t.

Funny thing, the game pretends to give you “moral” choices, but you are not fooling anyone. Yeah, you can keep her shy and pure, say all the sweet things, act like a saint, and she will smile and talk about Naruto like some school crush. But if you even once touch the “wrong” answer, like offering to “help her relax” or teasing that Naruto doesn’t really pay attention to her body, that whole good girl mask starts slipping. There is a path where you reach over to “check if she is hurt” after training and your hand just stays too long on her hip. She freezes, whispering your name, and then you get the pop-up choice: move away or slowly slide lower. The second one goes straight into groping her big ass while she tries to keep talking about missions from Shippuden like nothing is happening. It is kind of messed up and kind of hot at the same time, and I am not sure if I should be proud or ashamed I found a way to trigger that scene on the first play. Also, the way her clothes react is strangely specific, like the fabric stretching around her boobs when your hand “accidentally” brushes there, but then in another scene her bra just vanishes like it never existed. No idea why, I just noticed and then forgot about it, then remembered again and got annoyed.

I was actually expecting more Naruto himself in this, but he is mostly like a ghost people mention while you are busy trying not to stare at her nipples poking through the outfit. There are several endings depending on how far you push her and if you keep pretending to be “good guy” or just openly corrupt her. One ending has her still loyal to Naruto, but she secretly lets you feel her up in some training field corner and tells herself it is only “just this once”. Another one turns her into full hentai brain, where she is basically begging for your hands and doesn’t even try to hide her moans when you squeeze those ridiculous tits. The routes to get there are a bit strange though: sometimes one tiny flirty line suddenly jumps you into hardcore groping, other times you have to click through five screens of her talking about chakra and self confidence before she finally lets you touch her. I kept mixing up which option led to what, so I ended up making a little note in my phone like a crazy person, then lost it. Also there is this tiny sound when you choose the more pervy answer, like a soft chime, and now it lives in my head. I don’t even know why that bothers me more than the fact I spent half an evening trying every way possible to get a shy anime ninja girl to ride my hand. But yeah, that is pretty much the feeling here: one second you are pretending to be mature and check “if this is okay for adults”, next second you are replaying a scene just to see her breasts jiggle slightly different when you grope from below instead of from the side.

Mark drags his ass back to his hometown thinking he’s just crashing at the old house for a while, and the whole thing instantly turns into a slow-motion sex disaster. Dad is gone, ran off to the Caribbean with his side piece after quietly robbing his company blind for years, and left behind a wrecked family home, a broke ex-girlfriend, and a pile of debts that might as well scream “you’re screwed” in neon. The “solution”? Turn the house into a college-style dorm and stuff it with girls who already know Mark way too well. Childhood friends, twins who used to tease him when he was still a virgin, a neighbor milf with that tight yoga-ass that makes you pause the game just to stare, and a couple of ex-crushes who suddenly don’t seem so out of reach now that everything is falling apart. The mood jumps all over the place: one moment you’re joking about the house turning into a horny hostel, the next you’re in a quiet POV scene where an old flame is jerking you off on the couch, voice quivering, whispering how she missed “this” while you were away, and yeah, she means exactly what you think.

What hits first isn’t some big dramatic twist but the way the girls remember things you forgot. Like that one scene with the chocolate cake in the kitchen where one of the twins licks cream from her finger way too slow and says “you used to watch me do this when we were kids, you perv” while her tits basically rest on the counter. You get options that look harmless, then five clicks later she’s on her knees giving sloppy oral, moaning in your language headset-style, and you realize you dug your own horny grave. The humor keeps undercutting the filth too: you can be elbow-deep in a lactation scene with a milf who “just needs some relief” and in the middle of a titfuck she cracks a joke about charging rent for every creampie you leave in the house. It should kill the mood, but it somehow makes it hotter, because it feels like real people messing around, not plastic porn robots. Some routes lean pure romance, like falling asleep after anal with a girl who cuddles you, talking about future babies and maybe pregnancy, while other paths let you drift into group sex chaos where three girls fight over whose turn it is to ride you, one sitting on your face, another grinding on your dick, someone else just quietly masturbating in the corner because she “likes to watch.” There are endings you can feel coming and others that sneak up, like screwing the wrong person behind someone’s back, that little netori twist where you pretend it’s just a handjob in the shower and suddenly you’ve ruined a relationship you were actually starting to care about. Best way to enjoy all of it? Be a little reckless. Say yes when the twins ask you to help them “study,” don’t skip the teasing scenes, let people get jealous, let mistakes pile up, and save often so you can go back and see what happens if you let the shy girl be the one who finally climbs on top and fucks you until she’s shaking.

Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.