This Resident Evil parody throws you straight into Lady Dimitrescu's castle, and honestly? The devs knew exactly what they were doing. You're playing some poor bastard who's gotta survive Alcina's "trial" - which basically means getting dominated by a nine-foot vampire mommy and her equally stacked daughters. The turn-based combat system feels clunky at first, like they copy-pasted it from some RPG maker tutorial, but once you realize the real gameplay is about managing your stamina while getting your face buried in supernatural cleavage, it starts making sense. There's this one scene where Dimitrescu pins you against the wall and the camera angle is just... chef's kiss. The 3DCG models look decent enough, though Lady D's proportions are so exaggerated she looks like she'd topple over in real life.

Combat encounters blend into these weird BDSM scenarios where losing actually feels like winning. You'll find yourself deliberately failing just to see what creative punishment awaits. The spanking animations have more effort put into them than the actual sword fighting mechanics, which tells you where the priorities were. Sandbox elements let you explore the castle freely, groping your way through dark corridors while avoiding or seeking out the various monster girls lurking around. Some of the dialogue during sex scenes made me laugh out loud - not sure if that was intentional. The ahegao faces during climax moments are over-the-top ridiculous but somehow work within this campy horror-porn aesthetic.

What really caught me off guard was how they handled the size difference fetish stuff. Tall vs short dynamics play out in every interaction, from handjobs where your character can barely reach to titfuck scenes that look physically impossible. The harem aspect kicks in later when you're juggling multiple supernatural ladies, each with their own domination preferences. Voice acting ranges from surprisingly good to hilariously bad, but the moaning sounds authentic enough. Fair warning though - the grinding gets repetitive and some animations loop awkwardly.

You start as this so-called last DragonDong in Skyradia, which sounds dumb at first, but it grows on you, kind of like when you first opened Skyrim and spent 40 minutes just trying to make a hot character and ended up with something cursed. Here you’re already special, already packing, and everyone in this crazy fantasy land somehow knows your bloodline is legendary and your dick is basically a relic. The world feels like some horny version of a big fantasy RPG, where one moment you’re in a mossy ruin scrapping with bandits, and two clicks later you’ve got some proud warrior girl on her knees in a torch-lit hallway, drool on her chin, looking up at you from that nice POV angle like this is her favorite religion. It sounds like bullshit story at first, all “save the bloodline” and “mysterious vanished kin,” but when the game lets you actually choose if you play as a kind of romantic dumbass or total slutty menace, it hits different. One play I tried to be sweet, saying the right things, building affection, letting the scenes come slower. Another time I just picked every horny option, stuck my dick wherever the dialog allowed, and the game still rolled with it.

What I liked is that it doesn’t just throw sex at you for nothing, it makes you work a bit. You’ve got combat that actually matters for how you move through the map. Sometimes you gamble on your skills, sometimes you let the party do the work while you just pretend to be tactical. I had this one fight where my health was low, I screwed up some timing mini game, barely survived, then got rewarded later with a campfire scene where the healer chick, who had been super cold before, finally cracked and let me take her virgin pussy slow. The camera sticks close, like proper POV, her breathing changes between lines, and there’s this moment when she bites her lip and grabs your wrist to pull you deeper and the game lets you decide if you go gentle or just pound her into the bedroll. Went gentle first time, went full animal the second. Both scenes hit in different way. Same girl, whole different vibe just because of choices before. That kind of thing made the romance feel like more than “click gift, get sex.”

Not everything is perfect. Some transitions between adventure parts and sex feel like someone cut a YouTube video too fast. One second it’s “we must hurry, the world is in danger” and three dialog boxes later your cock is in her mouth by a waterfall and nobody cares about demons anymore. I’m not complaining, but it’s funny. Also, sometimes the game pretends you’re the noble hero, then gives you this option that is pure degenerate, like “comfort her” sitting right next to “shove your cock between her tits while she cries.” I told myself I’d take the wholesome path, clicked the worst one, didn’t even feel bad. The mix of exploration, flirting, combat, then suddenly being balls deep in some fantasy girl who moans your title like it’s a spell, that’s the charm here. If you play this, my only weird advice is: don’t rush every scene. Tease the game a bit. Sometimes refusing the obvious blowjob first and going with soft romance opens something filthier later, like when the shy mage suddenly asks to taste your cum after a hard fight instead of you pushing for it. Let the world breathe, lose a fight or two, say the wrong thing, reload only when you really hate an outcome. Stretch it. You’ll squeeze more out of every dirty moment that way.

Reborn in this world, you don’t start as some overpowered hentai demigod. You start small, weak, awkward, staring at stat screens like a horny nerd who suddenly woke up inside the fantasy game he used to jerk off to. It feels weirdly familiar, all those windows and numbers and skills, like someone mashed together an isekai anime, Pornhub tags, and a DnD character sheet, then said “yeah, now suffer for it.” The beginning actually made me laugh, in that “oh shit, that would be me” way, watching this guy (or futa, if you go that road) try to figure out how to use magic and how not to die on the first dungeon floor while getting distracted by every pair of tits in a ten-meter radius.

The mood swings a lot. One moment you’re counting turns in combat, trying to squeeze out that last spell with barely any mana, the next you’re getting pinned against a wall by some smug monster girl with too many curves and way too much confidence. The harem thing doesn’t just fall in your lap, you kind of earn it through quests, choices, and that slightly evil curiosity that makes you pick the option you probably shouldn’t. There is this early dungeon where you walk in thinking “ok, grind a bit, gain some XP” and end up bargaining with a horny plant girl that really, really wants to see what you can do from behind. Strategy suddenly becomes “how many skills can I use before I’m literally drained in every sense.” And I liked that the futa angle is there like a temptation, not shoved down your throat unless you ask for it. You can stay vanilla cock, or you can wake up with something extra between your legs and a whole new way to ruin NPCs. Choice hits different when it’s about what kind of dick you swing.

What surprised me most is how often I forgot I was playing a porn game and not some half-janky, half-charming RPG on itch.io. The humor lands more often than it should, with those little comments about EXP farming, hentai logic, and how nobody in fantasy worlds knows what a condom is. Sometimes the text rambles, sometimes the pacing trips, like the dev got lost in their own horny brain and just went “fuck it, more dialogue, more teasing,” and I kinda love that. There is one scene in particular, in a deeper dungeon level, where you’re low on health, you win a fight by like one lucky hit, and instead of a normal reward you get this cocky demon girl asking if the hero who nearly died wants to “use her body as a potion.” It’s porn logic, but the teasing before the actual sex is long enough you start clicking faster, half annoyed, half turned on, like a degenerate trying to skip ads on xHamster. The AI CG sometimes looks a bit off, a hand here, a weird strand of hair there, and it annoyed me way more than it should. I stared at that one broken finger in a blowjob scene far too long, and it lives in my head rent free now. Still, the mix of turn based combat, dumb jokes, fantasy races throwing themselves at you, anal and vaginal scenes popping up like loot drops, and that feeling of slowly building a harem through stats and bad decisions... I’d honestly give it “Best Use of Bad Life Choices in a Fantasy Harem” and not even say it as a joke. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Miserable salaryman with busted knuckles and dead eyes, that is where this thing starts. Guy was an MMA monster before, now he just rots in a cubicle, scrolling on his phone in the toilet, pretending to reply to emails while actually checking sex apps and watching pirate cosplay porn on Xvideos. Then out of nowhere, his old violence gets dragged back into the open and suddenly he is doing turn based combat in alleys and warzones instead of turn based meetings. It feels like some weird mix of One Piece fanfic, hentai trainer game, and midlife crisis simulator. One moment he is negotiating combat contracts with a cold mercenary boss, the next he is getting a titfuck from a drunk milf in a motel who has a maid uniform stuffed in her handbag for "work". The game just throws you into this mercenary underworld where everyone smiles like they know you are about to screw up your life, and it lets you manage that screw up day by day like some scuffed sandbox romance management sim that also really wants to show you ahegao.

The wild part is how much of the erotic stuff is glued directly onto the systems. You are not just picking “sex scene 1, 2, 3” from a menu. You do a mission for this pirate-inspired babe who is totally not Boa Hancock but obviously is, and if you mess up the combat, you still get a scene, but it is her sitting on your chest, calling you useless while she strokes you with just two fingers through your pants, slow teasing, no release, then she goes to fuck some higher-ranked merc behind a half-open door and you have to watch. That voyeurism thing hurts way more because it is your fault from earlier in the turn based fight where you tried to go full damage instead of guarding. When you get it right though, she climbs on your lap on the ship deck, half cosplay, half uniform, big tits bouncing, giving deep oral while complaining about your “no plan brain,” and if you choose the corruption options, she starts asking you to choke her and spit on her and eventually lets you creampie her ass while she wears that silly maid headband like it is the most normal thing. I actually laughed when the game let me switch from romantic “are you okay?” to “bend over the table” in the same phone chat log, like some unhinged dating sim.

There is also this whole NTR side that sneaks up. At first you think it is standard harem fantasy, you collect women like pirate bounty posters, from Nico-looking archaeologist type to serious older milf with big ass who runs a maid cafe as cover, and some android sex robot girl who is way too honest in her chat replies. But then the merc leader, this calm bastard, starts “helping” you train. You send one girl to work a side mission, the management screen shows she is "recovering," and later you catch a short animated scene where she is in his office, blouse open, him groping her while she is blushing, saying she only does this to get extra supplies for your squad. The game does not scream NTR at you, it just quietly lets it sit there in the log, like, yeah, she is technically still your girl, but is she? You can corrupt them in your direction too, sure, like putting the shy virgin into a maid uniform and having her kneel between your legs after a successful op, drool running down her chin during a messy blowjob, or making her use sex toys on herself in the shower while you watch from the door. But that little chance that someone else is also touching her, or that she will send you a phone selfie from a bathroom where you notice a man’s hand in the corner, gives the whole harem this dirty, unstable feeling. The game is horny as hell, full of anal, creampies, groping, vanilla sex mixed with BDSM edges, but it always ties it back to your role as this broken ex-fighter trying to control something in a world where even your own women might be getting fucked by someone stronger. And yeah, the AI CG sometimes looks a bit off, like one frame her boobs are too round or a hand is in a weird angle, but honestly, when Nico Robin lookalike is riding you in a maid cafe backroom, tongue out in full ahegao while you grip her hips and slam up into her, you will not care at all.