I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Harth starts as that clueless village boy type, but not the usual whiny one. More like the guy who thinks “yeah, my life is fine, I’ll just jerk off behind the barn and maybe marry some local virgin with fat tits one day” and then the world basically bends him over instead. The jump from quiet frontier mud to the capital is where the fun actually kicks in. At first it feels almost too slow, like a Sunday where nothing happens and you just scroll Pornhub categories out of boredom. Then suddenly he’s neck deep in church drama, magic crap, and way too many people who want to get into his pants or control what’s in them. The religious stuff is sneaky. You think it’s just background lore, then one moment you’re listening to some righteous sermon, next moment there’s a priestess with her robe “accidentally” sliding open, tits hanging, grinding on him in a shadowed alcove while a crowd passes by outside. Good old exhibitionist risk, and the sound when her ass slaps against the stone wall is disgusting and hot at the same time. As a sound freak, I kept replaying that bit just to hear the breathy whimper when he pushes in raw for the creampie. Could be just me, but that sticky noise when he pulls out later? That’s art. Ugly, wet art.

Sex variety is all over the place, in a nice “who wrote this and why are they in my brain” way. One scene has this prim religious girl who talks about purity every second line, then drops to her knees and gives him a slow, nervous blowjob that turns into total slut mode halfway in. The gagging and little choked moans are actually mixed well, not that copy paste stock stuff you sometimes hear in lower effort games. Then you go from that to a teasing footjob on a balcony with some rich city brat. The camera goes tight on her soles rubbing his shaft, toes squeezing, and when he finally shoots up her leg and onto those soft, pale arches, the squelchy drip sound is stupidly satisfying. I actually muted the music for that, because I’m picky like that and the BGM sometimes feels like cheap fantasy JRPG loop from a mobile app nobody plays anymore. Funny thing, the anal scenes hit harder than the expected standard vaginal ones. There is this one anal creampie with internal view that zooms right in on the ring stretching and relaxing around him, while you hear that low wet push noise when he bottoms out. It feels wrong in the best way. Although, some of the moans in that one don’t quite sync to the thrusts and it annoys me way more than it should. I kept waiting for them to fix it, like some patch coming, then remembered that I’m just yelling at my screen.

Romance is there, but it isn’t soft and fluffy. It’s more like people stumbling through desire and power games. One girl starts all sweet and shy, then ends up riding Harth’s face while fingering herself, basically using him, and I kinda love that she’s the one in charge. Femdom is not hardcore hardcore here, more casual humiliations, like making him jerk himself while she just watches and comments on his technique, then lazily finishes him with a bored handjob because “you’re too slow.” On the other side, there are dudes. The gay content is not treated like some joke or add-on. There’s a quiet moment with a city guard where they end up half drunk, talking about duty, then kissing, then the guard awkwardly working Harth’s cock with his hand, sweaty and unsure. Later you get full-on anal with him, and the grunting, low male moans are actually different from the female ones, which I appreciate way more than I should. Plus, seeing Harth pump a load deep into another guy while we get that same sticky internal shot you usually only see in straight scenes? Yeah. That hit. The game kinda drifts between innocent romance, messy religion, shameless public teasing, big ass bouncing in your face, tits pressed against windows, and those long masturbation scenes where Harth is just alone, stroking it, thinking about what the city has turned him into. Or maybe I imagined half of that. I was too busy replaying that titfuck scene where she squeezes him between those heavy boobs, drips spit on the tip, and whispers that she wants his cum inside, not on her chest. Then she rides him, loses the “virgin good girl” act in two thrusts, and you get that deep full creampie shot that almost looks too much. Which is exactly enough.

City like this always feels a bit horny and a bit dangerous at the same time. You start as this broke delivery guy, running boring routes, talking shit to yourself in the dark streets, wondering if rent or your sanity dies first. Then one very wrong encounter later, your throat is open, everything goes black, and when you wake up you’re a vampire with a hard-on and a second life you didn’t ask for. It’s not some sparkly teenage drama either. People bleed. Heads crack. The game doesn’t fade to black when someone gets ripped apart, it actually shows you. And in the middle of that mess you’re trying to figure out if you want to be the tragic romance type or just a complete bastard corrupting every girl who crosses your path. One moment you’re having a semi-sweet talk with a shy “good girl” virgin who trusts you because you saved her from some creep, next moment you’re pushing her down on a stained mattress, finger in her ass, making her choke on your cock and calling that “training”. The writing really leans into that: one path lets you act like a protective love interest, the other like a walking red flag with fangs. Both feel right for a vampire, honestly.

What makes it fun is that it’s not only click through text and watch boobs bounce. You wander the city like in a small adventure game, poking into alleys, shops, shady clubs, even some weird paranormal spots. You pick jobs, take quests, grind stats, unlock new powers. Get stronger, get richer, get more dangerous. Superpowers and corruption go hand in hand: you charm a milf long enough and suddenly she’s begging to be your personal blood bank, legs wide open while you decide if you want to cum in her pussy or in her ass. Some scenes start almost wholesome, like you just giving a massage, a bit of teasing, a slow handjob. Then toys appear. Vibrators, plugs, collars. You pull her hair, make her ride you until there is a sloppy creampie dripping down her thighs, and she thanks you like it’s a religious experience. There is this nice whiplash between male domination and female domination too. You think you’re in control, then an older vampire girl puts a heel on your chest, jerks you off nice and slow, stops right before you cum and tells you exactly whose pet you are now. The incest angle is handled in that porn logic way: everyone acts like they know it’s taboo but they just keep going, touching, groping, “accidentally” walking in during masturbation, turning family drama into porn logic romance. And yeah, there is prostitution, actual street girls, deals for blood and sex, sometimes both at once. Some routes let you keep things romantic, soft kisses, gentle vaginal sex, cuddling after. Others push you into being a complete pervert, using mind control to turn a decent woman into a cock drunk toy who offers anal just because you smiled at her. It’s messy and a bit trashy and also kind of addicting, like watching late night anime that suddenly went full hentai without telling anyone.

The first thing I noticed was how slow it loads in Chrome compared to Firefox, which is weird, because other VN players always recommend Chrome. But after waiting through that blank white flicker, the title just appears, no fancy menu, and it sort of fits - like someone coded the whole thing in one long night with half a plan and a hard-on. The writing swings between absurdly corny dialogue and tense, breathy pauses that actually made me lean forward. Erza’s route hit harder than I expected; the engine stutters a bit when the transition hits from teasing to naked skin, as if the code itself got flustered. At one point Mirajane just stares at the camera, half-undressed, saying nothing, and it’s unsettling but kind of erotic? My mouse double clicked because I didn’t know whether to keep going or stop and breathe.

There’s too much sound compression, though - headphones exaggerate that low moan into something that buzzes in your skull. I liked the way the text box shakes when you make a rougher choice; you can practically feel the humiliation radiate off the screen, and maybe I’m reading too much into it, but that’s the first time I’ve ever felt genuine shame synced with a save file. The whole guild concept keeps drifting around, promising missions, quests, whatever, but it really just becomes an excuse for swapping scenes of control and surrender, of bodies framed like code samples gone wrong. I wanted to click “Settings” to adjust volume, but instead stumbled into an exhibitionism scene that started before I could move. And it’s messy, nerve-pinching messy - some sprite layer got stuck, half-transparent, hovering over Lucy’s face mid-fellatio, and for once, the glitch worked. Like voyeurism baked into the source.

Mobile version? Don’t even bother - touch controls feel like punishment. Still, there’s something raw in how it refuses to clean itself up. It’s not the kind of polish you expect. It’s more like intimacy leaking through bad optimization. Or maybe that’s me making excuses. I tried capturing a screenshot for a forum thread, but my phone overheated, and now whenever I unlock the screen, I swear I still see Mirajane’s smirk fading into white.