Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

Game starts in that slow, sweaty way where you think it will just be training and grinding stats with your sensei, and then suddenly everything goes to hell. Two royal looking bitches crash into the dojo, collars and heels and smug faces, and you barely have time to breathe before you and your teacher are chained up like trophies. The story pretends to be about “rescuing your sensei” but most of the time it feels like you are the one who keeps getting captured, toyed with, pushed around. Which is good. And horrible. And good again.

Every new zone feels like walking into another woman’s fantasy of power. One world is all silk and red curtains, older women lounging around like bored queens, judging your body with lazy eyes while they decide if you’re going to be a servant or a toy. Another one is cold stone, iron cages, boots echoing on the floor while some empress type makes you kneel just to talk to her. The game really loves that moment where a woman leans close, voice soft, and tells you exactly how small and pathetic you are, then uses your dick anyway like it is royal property. If you like being in control, you’re going to hate this. Unless you don’t. I tried to play “dominant” the first run, choosing the most defiant answers, and the game almost laughed at me. One milf slapped my choices away with a single line and pinned my arms like they were decoration, rode me like she was proving a point, then called it “training” with this mock-sweet smile that actually made my stomach twist.

The 3D models are messy in a way I ended up kind of liking. Tits are big but not all perfectly symmetrical, faces change expression mid scene in slightly off timing, physics sometimes look like they are drunk, yet it all fits this weird dream feeling. There is one empress with this strict haircut and huge chest who leans too close during interrogation and her nipple clips through the armor a bit. It annoyed me, then suddenly I could not stop staring only there, reloading the scene in incognito Chrome like a complete idiot. The adventure bits are surprisingly not lazy: walking through ruined temples, desert palaces, corrupted gardens, picking choices, losing fights on purpose because you want to see what humiliating thing they do when you fail. Combat is not deep, you mash through and then you lose or win, but the punishment scenes carry it. One of my favorite moments was getting captured by a “priestess” who looked gentle at first, then strapped me to some ritual thing and edged me while reciting sacred lines about male obedience, only letting me cum when I begged in a way she liked. Another time, an older queen made me lick the dirt from her heel before she even allowed any nudity, which felt oddly more intense than the full-on sex that came later. Not everything hits: a couple of zones feel like filler, one character just loops the same “I own you” line until it loses bite, and the pacing around the middle drags because you walk too long between scenes. But then you meet another cold eyed ruler who treats your whole heroic quest like a joke, sits on your face like you are just furniture, and suddenly you forget you were annoyed five minutes ago. The game keeps doing that. It stumbles, then grabs your hair and pulls you right back into it.

Ellie from that zombie game and Lara from those old temple raider days stuck together in one filthy, horny mess is already kind of illegal, but the way this thing uses their feet is what actually surprised me. It starts almost innocent, like some weird fanfic fantasy where a regular dude ends up with both of them under his control, and you think “ok ok, just another basic porn parody”. Then you realize the whole focus is on socks and how much abuse you can squeeze out of a single sweaty foot. The game treats socks like gear, like actual tools for humiliation, not just decoration. You’re pulling Ellie’s dirty socks off slow while she glares at you, toes curling, and Lara is in the background with those tight sport socks still on, being forced to stroke you off with them while acting all proud and pissed at the same time. It’s fucked up and kind of funny.

What I liked is how often it lets you push them from “annoyed” into “broken-in toy” during actual sex, not just in some text box. One scene that stuck with me: you’ve already used Ellie’s feet, made her rub you until she’s breathing hard and confused, and instead of jumping straight to normal penetration, you pin her down in missionary, keep her ankles pressed against your shoulders, and the camera keeps cutting back to her soles. Not her face, not your dick, just those feet twitching while you slam into her. Meanwhile Lara is ordered to kneel at the side, licking your balls like some obedient slave, still wearing one sock, and that stupid detail somehow makes it nastier. Then later you flip Lara into doggystyle, really rough, hair pulled, face pushed down, and she’s forced to rub you with her feet between thrusts, basically getting used like a multi tool. It’s actually a bit much when you chain everything together: harassment, domination, rough fucking, feet in your face, them gagging on you, and you keep going anyway because the game kind of encourages you to be a selfish bastard. At some point I realized the male protagonist doesn’t even feel like a “character”, he’s more like a cock with dialogue, but in this type of hardcore crossover it weirdly fits. The AI-generated CG sometimes looks slightly off, like Ellie’s toes bending wrong or Lara’s expression clipping into weird “half angry half bored” mode, yet those little imperfections give the scenes this trashy bootleg energy that matches the whole vibe. You’re not here for romance, or plot, or to be a good person. You’re here to grab two famous girls by the throat, use their mouths, their pussies, their asses, and especially their socks and feet, and then pretend later it was “just parody” when you close the tab.

Jake is that kind of guy you scroll past on Instagram, see the portfolio link, tap it “just to peek”, and then half an hour later you’re imagining how his hands feel when he tilts your chin for a better angle. That’s basically how this game feels. You’re inside his head, this up-and-coming photographer who pretends he’s all about “composition” and “light”, while his brain is absolutely stuck on the way that MILF client bends over the studio couch or how the model’s thighs part a little too slowly when she adjusts her pose. The whole story runs through his phone, like you’re living inside notifications. Chats lighting up, thirsty DMs, half-professional half-flirty messages from models who send “test shots” that are just softcore at first, until they’re not soft at all. One minute you talk about shoot locations and lens choices, next minute she’s asking if you’d keep filming if she took her panties off between takes. And you get to answer. You choose if Jake plays the sweet romantic type who pretends he’s shocked by a creampie joke, or the calm, dominant bastard who texts “Hold that position. Don’t move till I arrive.”

What surprised me is how much the game leans into the slow build. It teases the hell out of you. A model starts in nice, safe lingerie, doing normal fashion poses, but the camera angle keeps dropping, getting closer between her legs, her lips part a bit, her eyes lock on Jake, and you can practically feel the moment she stops “modeling” and starts actually wanting to fuck. You’re right there, POV, like you’re the one kneeling in front of her, adjusting the shot, while thinking only about how it’d look if she rode you on that same stool. There’s a crazy shibari segment too, really detailed, where a “creative concept” shoot turns into ropes sliding over skin, her wrists pulled back, chest pushed out, and you’re deciding how rough the vibe goes in the dialogue. It gets messy, in a good way: the game does not shy away from showing her stretched open, begging, then moaning when you finally finish inside her instead of pulling out like a good boy. It’s not only one girl either, you’ve got that slightly older client with the perfect mature curves, the more mysterious one who hides behind art talk, the one who acts like romance matters but clearly wants you to pin her to the studio wall. All wrapped in this phone-driven, modern life chaos where every unread message could be another chance for sex, another jealous hint, or another model offering you a “private session” with no clothes, no rules, just you, your camera, and how long you can hold back before you blow your load deep inside her while the shot is still recording.