This thing feels like someone mashed a horny gacha, a cheap board game from a dusty attic, and a folder of AI smut that escaped from Stable Diffusion at night. You just hit the die, watch the little token hop along the path, and every square is basically asking: are you patient enough to earn that ass, or are you going to get teased with a blur again. It looks so simple you almost feel stupid for how long you keep clicking. It’s like snakes and ladders if the only snake is in your pants and the ladders are made of big tits and half-hidden nipples that refuse to come into focus until you find their “proper” version. I kinda love how dumb it is. I kinda hate how dumb it is. Both at same time, brain and dick arguing like two drunk philosophers.

The whole clothed / nude / blurred thing is the core kink here, more than any “story.” You land on a clothed girl first and later see her nude, it feels like you actually unwrapped something. Like you saw her on Insta first, then somehow ended up in her OnlyFans, but all compressed into a couple of dice rolls. If you hit the nude square before her clothed one, you get this blurry, half-invisible version that sits in your gallery like an accusation. You know she has huge tits, or at least AI thinks she does, but it’s like soft censorship, only the censor is your own impatience. It reminded me of striptease in older literature, weirdly, like in Nabokov where half of the erotic charge is in what you’re not allowed to see clearly yet, except here the author is an algorithm and the plot is “you rolled a 3.” Some of the girls look kind of same-face, like the usual AI pout, gravity-defying big ass and weirdly smooth skin with that uncanny porn-magazine lighting, and once in a while you spot a little glitch in the hair or a finger that’s a bit off, and instead of killing the mood it just makes the whole thing feel more dirty, like you’re jerking off in a backroom of Midjourney. It annoyed me that one particular girl with the best ass in the set kept showing up only as blur for me, like the game knew I wanted her and decided to cockblock on purpose. I rolled past the same boring square three times, got a pair of tits I didn’t even like that much, then finally unlocked her clothed version randomly from a different tile, and that weird delayed reward felt more intense than it had any right to. There is no strategy here, no tactical choice, nothing deep, but your brain still builds little narratives between those squares: she’s shy, she’s playing hard to get, she’s already naked in your gallery but hidden behind fog until you “meet” her properly with clothes on. Total bullshit psychologically, but it works.

What’s funny is how the game pretends to be about randomness while actually being about completionism. You’re not just rolling for porn, you’re rolling to fill a gallery of bodies, like a pervy version of collecting cards in Gwent or catching girls instead of Pokémon. Twenty one girls, double versions, and your inner librarian wakes up and starts screaming that the set is incomplete. I had that moment where I wasn’t even that turned on anymore, just vaguely annoyed that there were still blurred thumbnails sitting there like locked archive pages in some digital Sade notebook. It made me think of old erotic literature where half the fun is chasing the forbidden page or the missing chapter, except here the missing chapter is a big ass that refuses to unblur until RNG says ok. Sometimes the die falls and you land on a square with a girl you already have nude, and it feels totally useless and still you stare again, re-reading the same “page” like an idiot, looking for something new in the curves the AI typed onto her body. I wish there was some twist to the board, like risky branches or punishment loops, but also the stupid linearity is kind of the point: you go in circles around a track of horny images like a dog chasing its own tail, but the tail has giant AI-generated tits. It’s lazy, it’s repetitive, it’s strangely effective, and the worst part is that the girls you like most are always the ones the die refuses to land on, like some cruel little erotic joke between you and a random number generator that secretly knows exactly what you came here to see.

This one hits like a fucked up Valentine’s card somebody dipped in blood and spit on. Oridelle is not a “heroine,” she is a girl who died, got dragged back, and now thinks the only reason she exists is to suck off the guy who saved her. That’s the whole emotional center of the game: her on her knees, him on the throne, and you sitting there clicking through that sick loop of “thank you for saving me, please use me again.” It feels almost too intimate sometimes, like reading someone’s horny therapy diary that got infected by a horror manga. The tone flips a lot. One minute she is this soft, almost cute corpse-girl whispering how grateful she is, and three lines later she is giggling like a brain-poisoned bimbo about how her mouth is “perfect for him” and nothing else matters. It is erotic, yeah, but there is this rotten taste under it, like you bit into candy and it was raw meat.

The horror wraps itself around the sex instead of fighting it. Every time she drags herself back to that coffin, body resetting, clothes fixing, face going back to the “normal” Oridelle, it feels like watching a save file overwrite a human being. She goes out, gets broken a little more, comes back, looks the same. Inside she is not the same. You can feel the split getting wider, her real self trapped under this shiny, porn-brain alter ego that thinks being his perfect cocksleeve is holy work. Some scenes are almost boring in how focused they are on his dick and her mouth, and then suddenly one line pops where she begs him to call her by a name he gave her, not her own, and it hits harder than the actual blowjob. The game keeps telling you, quietly, that she is already dead, just not all at once. And still you keep clicking, because the pacing is like a slow, dripping faucet you kind of hate but keep staring at. Sometimes the writing leans too hard into “bimbo talk” and loses that fragile, tragic vibe I liked at the start, but then there is a moment where she hesitates before opening her lips and it all comes back. I wish there was a way to pull her out, to give her a route where she looks at him and says “no,” but the whole point is that she will not. She crawls back, every time, happy to be used, proud of how empty she can become for him, and that is what makes the whole thing stay in your head after you close the tab and pretend you are just going to check Twitter.

You know that awful feeling when your phone buzzes, you open the chat, and you’re not sure if you even want to scroll up because you already feel something’s wrong? This game lives inside that feeling. You play as Eddie, normal guy, married, kind of worn out by life, stuck in this shitty loop of work, stress, debt, and a dick that just refuses to cooperate when you actually need it. The whole thing plays out mostly through chats and phone stuff, so you’re basically spying on your own life. Messages, pictures, little bits of “hey babe, miss you” turning into “hey, I’m working late” and then into things you really don’t want to see your wife sending to someone else. And still you keep tapping, because of course you do.

Rachel starts as that sweet, supportive wife who just wants to help, who wants her man back, wants sex that isn’t awkward and half-hearted. The game doesn’t jump straight into filth. It teases you. She takes small jobs, chats with new people, gets “friendly” with that one guy who compliments her more in two texts than Eddie managed in a whole week. You see her selfies get a bit bolder. At first it’s cute. She’s shy, a bit embarrassed, but she sends that “accidental” cleavage pic and you feel both proud and a bit sick. Then the pictures get dirtier. The emojis change. The typing pauses get longer. The game really likes to make you stare at the screen waiting for three dots, wondering if she’s going to send something soft or something that will make you want to punch the wall and jerk off at the same time.

Sex scenes here are mostly in your head and on the phone screen, twisted together. When she’s playing with herself, you don’t just see her; you see the messages that pushed her there. Some random guy hyping her up, telling her how wet she must be, asking for “proof”, and she actually sends it. You get AI-style images that look like those edited photos you see on Telegram porn channels, slightly too clean, but the situation around them is messy as fuck. There’s cheating, voyeurism, corruption, all that good painful stuff. You read how she describes your failures in bed while you’re the one stuck watching and masturbating like some pathetic cuck who can’t even look away. The worst part is how normal it all feels. No magic, no mind control. Just money problems, stress, one dude with a working dick and another with a nice salary and a smooth tongue, and a woman who gets tired of waiting. The story doesn’t need big twists. It just pokes at those ugly relationship fears until they get horny, then keeps going a bit too far. You know it’s going to hurt. You still open the next chat. And the next picture. And the next.

So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.