Frank really picked the worst possible way to escape prison and the best possible place to wash up. Storm, wreck, boom, suddenly the dude is crawling out of the water into a familiar yellow square house that should not be this horny. He looks around, nobody home, nobody asking questions, so he just goes, “Yeah, sure, I’m SpongeBob now,” throws on the clothes and starts living this fake life under the sea. It sounds stupid as hell. It is stupid as hell. That’s kind of why it works. The game just leans into the parody thing completely, like a Newgrounds cartoon that got drunk, grew up and decided to stop pretending it’s for kids. One minute you’re wandering Bikini Bottom talking to cartoon weirdos, next minute you’re balls deep in someone with tits that would absolutely not pass broadcast standards. It’s all exaggerated, big tits, big asses, stretchy mouths, thick thighs, the whole hentai checklist but in this goofy aquatic world that used to run on Nickelodeon.

The tone is all over the place in a fun way. You’re this criminal hiding in plain sight, trying to remember you’re “SpongeBob” while also basically turning the town into your own personal sex playground. You can wander around, poke into houses you probably shouldn’t, get into some stupid mini-games, buy junk from shops, then somehow that leads to a blowjob behind a counter or a rough handjob in a back alley lit like a bad crime movie. The animated scenes are unapologetically dirty: sloppy oral with lots of spit, big cartoon cocks sliding between fat wet lips, pussy getting pounded while her huge chest bounces in that silly loop that looks wrong and right at same time. Sometimes it goes from silly to surprisingly graphic fast, like you’re laughing at a joke and suddenly there’s this intense vaginal close-up with her moaning like a full hentai OVA. The violence sneaks in too, not super serious but sharp enough you remember that Frank isn’t some innocent hero. He’s a fugitive who lies, pushes people around, fucks them, sometimes intimidates them. Definitely more male dom than soft romance here, even when the girls act all cutesy.

What surprised me most is how oddly cozy the sandbox feels even when everything on screen is nasty. You move across different Bikini Bottom spots, trigger crazy side events, stumble into lewd scenes you didn’t plan, then ten minutes later you’re grinding money again because you wasted it on some dumb store item that only unlocks one short sex loop. Some dialogues hit like shitposts from Reddit, other lines sound like the dev wrote them half asleep, but that gives it this raw energy. It’s not “polished narrative experience”, it’s “guy in a funny outfit lying to the whole town while shoving his dick where it doesn’t belong”. Sometimes the pacing goes weird and you’re stuck wandering around checking every door because the game refuses to tell you where the next scene is, and then out of nowhere you trigger a scene with a stacked character who rides you like she’s trying to break your spine. If there was a DLC where Bikini Bottom just leaned even harder into the corruption, with even more twisted hentai-style events and Frank losing the last bits of morality he has, I’d play that in a heartbeat. Even if I’d complain about some tiny bug in the shop UI and then completely forget I ever mentioned it once the next girl drops to her knees.

Dirty little fairy tale, that’s what this feels like. You start out broke in this hot, dusty “Arabian nights but hornier” city, doing chores for people who are way richer than you and absolutely know it. Half the time you’re running errands, half the time you’re staring at someone’s ass thinking “yeah I’d totally ruin that if the game lets me.” It runs in this nice POV style where you really feel like the main guy is just stumbling upwards through life, tripping over gold, magic, and way too many people who want to get inside his pants or the other way around. One minute you’re polishing some noble’s fancy floor, next minute you’re on your knees in the same room but polishing something else with your tongue. The jump from poor street rat to “kind of a hero, sort of, maybe” is played for laughs, and it works. There’s jokes about pirates, gods, magic carpets that do not exist, and somehow the writing still remembers to turn you on between all the snark.

Sex-wise it’s messy in a good way. The game really likes variety, like it’s trying to use your whole body as a toybox. You’ve got soft femboys that look like they belong in a harem painting, tough muscle girls that could snap you in half and you’re weirdly fine with that, and those “is that a girl, is that a guy, why am I so hard right now” trap moments. You can stay pretty straight if you want, or just slide face first into futa and gay scenes and pretend you “accidentally clicked the wrong option” on purpose. I had one scene where my character is stuck on a ship with a pirate crew and it turns into this chaotic group fuck with a stacked viking brute, a mouthy femboy with anklets, and a smug captain who clearly knows he’s hot. There’s oral everywhere, hands everywhere, feet on your face if you go looking for that, and yes, your ass is absolutely on the menu. Or theirs. Or both. Anal gets treated as casually as kissing, which is honestly refreshing and also kind of terrifying in a good way. The game doesn’t shy away from blood either; one battle had me splitting a guy open in a pretty graphic way, then later I’m getting a lazy handjob in a bathhouse like it’s just another Tuesday. Whiplash, but it fits this whole “world might end, but we’re still horny” tone. And somehow, in between all the sucking and fucking and questionable life choices, you’re actually curious where the story goes next, even while you’ve got a muscular warrior pushing you face-down on a fur rug and asking if you can take one more round.

New Antioch feels like somebody took a brutal dark fantasy, smashed it into a porn game, then asked, “ok, but how much filth can we cram between all this blood and rusty armor?” You play as Mateo, this cold bastard enforcer everyone whispers about, the guy nobles send when they want someone broken, not just beaten. On paper you’re a loyal dog of this dusty mining province, stomping around a dead world that never really recovered from the last time humans fucked everything up. In practice you’re sneaking into the capital with a grudge, a hard-on, and way too much freedom to ruin people’s lives. One moment you’re ankle deep in corpses after a raid, the next you’re in some torchlit room humiliating a noble milf who has more jewelry than self-respect, riding your cock while begging you not to tell her husband. The game never pretends to be wholesome. You get romance, sure, but it’s the kind where you might pull a girl’s hair while she’s choking on you, then later actually feel weirdly protective when she flinches at someone else raising a hand.

The sex scenes are wild, and not in the “oh cute missionary with soft music” way. There’s a virgin priestess shaking so hard she can’t even guide you in, bleeding a bit while you slowly push deeper and whisper the most rotten shit in her ear. There’s a smug monster-looking thing you thought would just be a boss, but then you realize the “victim” chained near it is actually into it, and you end up watching way longer than you should, jerking yourself off like some pervert in the shadows. One of my favorite bits was this drunk, foul-mouthed older woman running a rundown tavern near the city walls, brown skin, messy hair, big ass. She pretends she hates you, spits insults, but when you corner her in the back room and tell her you know about her little smuggling side business, suddenly she’s on her knees, slurping you like she’s been waiting all year for that threat. The game gives you lots of those ugly little power moments: blackmail, humiliation, rough sex where you grab hips hard enough to leave bruises, or shove a girl’s face into the mattress while she moans that someone might hear. There’s even some twisted netori flavor when you bang a knight’s “pure” fiancée while he’s out dying for his banner, then smile at him later like nothing happened, still remembering the way she clawed your back and begged you to cum inside. It’s cruel, messy, unromantic and somehow still has these rare scenes where someone kisses you soft and nervous, and for a second you almost forget this whole world is just rotting slowly into dust.

This one feels like somebody smashed together a horny occult movie, a fucked up dating sim and a sandbox where every hot woman you meet secretly wants to own you, hurt you, or both. You start as this pretty normal guy who thinks he’s in control, then the game keeps dropping these weird rituals, blood-slick symbols, candles burning in rooms they shouldn’t exist in, and every time you think “ok, this is just edge for style” you suddenly wake up chained, naked, with a smiling milf witch asking you very calmly which hole is your favorite. The tone is that perfect mix of “I’m scared of this monster girl” and “please step on me harder, mommy”. There’s futa cult leaders with cocks that look like they were drawn by someone who hates spines, demon girls with claws on your throat while they ride you raw, and that one pale priestess who never raises her voice but will make you lick her boots while she fucks another guy right in front of you, just to see your face twist.

What really got me is how the control keeps shifting without warning. One scene you’re the “master” who just bought a slave, clicking through options like you’re the big boss, and five minutes later she’s got a collar on you instead, grinding her big ass on your mouth while you’re tied to the floor, and the UI is like “accept humiliation?” as if that is even a question. I laughed, then I clicked yes. The sex itself is dirty in a good way: sloppy oral where you can actually see spit and tears, anal that doesn’t pretend to be all romantic, toys shoved in you or them while they whisper shit about how you’re not a person, you’re a thing. One cosplay scene had this “innocent” nun outfit on a thick milf with huge tits, but when she opens her mouth she talks like a crime boss, orders you to eat her out while her futa bodyguard pushes your head deeper. There is some real graphic violence mixed in there too, like ritual cuts in the skin and bruises after harsher bdsm scenes, nothing soft-focus. Animations are decent and sometimes weirdly stiff, but in a way that made it feel more like a messed up puppet show, which kinda fits the occult vibe anyway.

It’s “sandbox” but not that fake kind where you only have two options that are actually the same. You wander around on your phone screen, jump between locations, trigger stuff in the wrong order, and suddenly a jealous monster girl shows up in a scene where she clearly wasn’t “supposed” to be and starts choking you while your current dom pretends you’re just furniture. I opened it during a coffee break on Android once and immediately had a fullscreen close-up of a cult milf sitting on my face, her thighs squeezing, text box calling me her “favorite disposable toy”. Almost dropped my phone. The ntr hits you like that too, with quiet moments: you stand there useless while a powerful futa takes your girl, or your “slave” laughs and calls someone else “master” right in front of you, and your only actual input is how much you beg. There is one tiny thing that annoyed me: sometimes the text window covers the good part of the blowjob, like it knows exactly what you’re staring at and blocks it out on purpose, and I keep trying to drag it away even though I know it won’t move. Anyway, if you like that yandere energy where love means “I own your soul and your ass and your mouth and you are not allowed to look at anyone else”, this whole occult sex cult city feels like home, just a very bloody, sticky one.