Leo Pujols has exactly one dream in life: put ridiculous tattoos on buttholes and somehow call it “culture”. That’s the whole vibe. You show up in this sleepy town called Las Nalgas, where everyone pretends they’re classy while secretly being horny and petty as hell, and you’re the guy opening the first dedicated asshole tattoo studio on the main street. You sit there with your little tablet, staring at cheeks spread on the chair, and the game is just like, “yeah, what do you wanna draw on this rear end today?” Hearts, stupid slogans, cursed memes, whatever. You’re not just picking dialogue, you’re literally sketching on asses and then having to live with that choice when the owner walks around town with “BREATH FART” permanently stamped around their ring. People start reacting to your work too. You give one prim librarian a tiny classy flower around her hole, she walks different after that, and suddenly she’s way more confident during later scenes. You slap a bright neon dick on some macho dude’s backdoor as a joke and that comes back in the weirdest conversation at the bar. The writing leans hard into that “I can’t believe someone got paid to write this” energy. Jokes about “town budget” and “cultural funding” end up being about who gets to show off their butthole on the festival poster. There’s this angry protest group trying to shut your shop down, and every time they appear, they talk like they’re saving the youth from degeneracy while the camera just keeps cutting to huge bouncing tits and people nervously clenching. It’s stupid, but it kind of works because the game never acts serious for more than 3 seconds. One moment you’re in a legit emotional scene about freedom of expression, next moment you’re zoomed in on some chick’s asshole trying to decide if you outline the star in black or red while she moans because the needle is “too close to the rim”. It’s chaotic in a good way.

The anal focus is not some side thing, it’s the center of gravity. Every route circles back to asses. Big soft ones, hard gym ones, hairy dude cheeks, there’s a whole parade of butt variety. Penetration scenes constantly play with the tattoos you made. Like, you pound a girl from behind and the dumb little cartoon you drew is just wobbling there like it’s judging you. Sometimes it’s hot as fuck, sometimes it’s so funny you actually lose the mood and still keep going because the writing is that stupid. There’s a scene where you’re mid-anal with a client who specifically came in to “christen” the fresh ink, and she starts critiquing your line work between moans. “Fuck me harder, but also you really can’t keep a straight curve, can you?” That hit me right in my gamer pride. I wanted an undo button so bad and of course there isn’t one. Choices actually stack up in social ways too. You piss off one big-titted local politician by putting a really vulgar message near her hole, and when the council stuff happens later, she remembers. Like, you’re standing at a public meeting where they talk about art grants, and everyone in the room has seen her asshole in the booth at some point. The humor is juvenile as hell, tons of poop-adjacent jokes and butt puns, but every now and then you get this really horny, surprisingly tender anal scene that feels like it fell in from a different game. Then the next line is some nonsense about “emergency sphincter zoning laws” and you’re back to laughing. It has that messy energy of a dev who really loves asses and doesn’t care about being “tasteful”, which is kinda refreshing in a trashy way. The game’s not trying to be beautiful, it’s trying to make you laugh and jerk off while you draw terrible art on people’s back doors, and honestly, it nails that way too well.

This one feels like somebody smashed a harem fantasy and a dumb sitcom together, then added way more ass shots than needed, and somehow it works. You play this guy sent to “protect” a family of three women, which of course means moving into their house and pretending there is some serious danger while mostly getting distracted by thick thighs and huge tits every five minutes. It starts pretty tame, like you’re just helping with groceries, fixing a door, trying to act professional, and then suddenly you’re staring at a milf bending over the couch, her dress riding up, and the game pauses on her big ass like, yeah, we all know why you’re really here. I actually laughed because the tone is half horny, half “oops I tripped and landed dick-first” energy. The humor is kind of stupid, in a good way, and the teasing is brutal. They know exactly when to cut away, or have someone interrupt right at the moment hand goes under panties, just to make you swear at your screen.

What surprised me most is how much time you spend just… talking. Not in a boring way, more like you slowly build this feeling that any of these women could be the “main route” if you want. One day you’re joking with the older one in the kitchen about how she can’t reach the top shelf, next day you’re pinning her against that same counter and her tits are pressed into your chest, her voice all shaking while she tries to pretend she’s still in control. The 3D models sell it hard: thick curves, big tits that actually move when she rides you, that kind of stuff. There is this scene where you finally fuck her in her bedroom, lights low, she’s on top grinding slow, talking about how long she’s been lonely, and then you get the choice to pull out or not. If you stay in, watching her face change when she realizes you’re creampying her, it’s stupidly hot. After that, the whole vibe with her changes, like she’s softer with you, touches you more in normal scenes, then suddenly snaps cold if you flirt too obviously with one of the others. And yeah, the game remembers that. If you chase her and the younger woman at the same time you get some really awkward breakfast conversations where everyone is smiling just a bit too hard.

I lost one ending because I tried to be greedy and go for every big ass in the house at once. You can get a more “romantic” thing where you’re actually loyal and the final sex scene feels earned, like long teasing paying off with this slow, deep vaginal fucking where she wraps her legs around you and begs you to stay inside while you cum. Or you can be a chaos gremlin and unlock drama routes where you basically ruin the house dynamic and still end up balls deep anyway. There is this stupid tiny thing that annoyed me, by the way: the main guy sometimes makes these cheesy protector lines that sound like they were written by someone who binged too much Netflix, and I kept wishing I could just click a “shut up and kiss her” option, but it never shows up. At least the game lets you steer the mood a bit with your choices, sometimes going for a sincere compliment, sometimes going straight for dirty talk like “you like when I grab your tits like this, right?” and watching them react. I will say, I opened this on Chrome and for some reason it lagged a bit during one of the big creampie animations, which killed the mood for a second. Swapped to Firefox, perfectly smooth, which is exactly how the milf isn’t when you push her up against the shower wall. The story keeps pretending danger is important, something about protecting them, but after the third time you wake up in a house full of horny women in thin pajamas, it’s clear what threat you’re really dealing with. And no, I’m not changing routes, my milf ending is canon, anyone picking the younger one as “best girl” is just wrong and I will die on this hill.

New Antioch feels like somebody took a brutal dark fantasy, smashed it into a porn game, then asked, “ok, but how much filth can we cram between all this blood and rusty armor?” You play as Mateo, this cold bastard enforcer everyone whispers about, the guy nobles send when they want someone broken, not just beaten. On paper you’re a loyal dog of this dusty mining province, stomping around a dead world that never really recovered from the last time humans fucked everything up. In practice you’re sneaking into the capital with a grudge, a hard-on, and way too much freedom to ruin people’s lives. One moment you’re ankle deep in corpses after a raid, the next you’re in some torchlit room humiliating a noble milf who has more jewelry than self-respect, riding your cock while begging you not to tell her husband. The game never pretends to be wholesome. You get romance, sure, but it’s the kind where you might pull a girl’s hair while she’s choking on you, then later actually feel weirdly protective when she flinches at someone else raising a hand.

The sex scenes are wild, and not in the “oh cute missionary with soft music” way. There’s a virgin priestess shaking so hard she can’t even guide you in, bleeding a bit while you slowly push deeper and whisper the most rotten shit in her ear. There’s a smug monster-looking thing you thought would just be a boss, but then you realize the “victim” chained near it is actually into it, and you end up watching way longer than you should, jerking yourself off like some pervert in the shadows. One of my favorite bits was this drunk, foul-mouthed older woman running a rundown tavern near the city walls, brown skin, messy hair, big ass. She pretends she hates you, spits insults, but when you corner her in the back room and tell her you know about her little smuggling side business, suddenly she’s on her knees, slurping you like she’s been waiting all year for that threat. The game gives you lots of those ugly little power moments: blackmail, humiliation, rough sex where you grab hips hard enough to leave bruises, or shove a girl’s face into the mattress while she moans that someone might hear. There’s even some twisted netori flavor when you bang a knight’s “pure” fiancée while he’s out dying for his banner, then smile at him later like nothing happened, still remembering the way she clawed your back and begged you to cum inside. It’s cruel, messy, unromantic and somehow still has these rare scenes where someone kisses you soft and nervous, and for a second you almost forget this whole world is just rotting slowly into dust.

Magic in this game feels like horny office politics with spells instead of emails. You’re this “secret third guy” with real power in a fantasy world where magic is drying up and the rich Great Families are freaking out and trying to own whoever still has it. They want to control your dick and your destiny at the same time. Your old mentor drags you back into their mess, and suddenly you’re surrounded by people who either want to study your Affinity, fuck it, or both. A lot of “both”, honestly. One moment you’re sitting in some fancy manor library pretending to listen to theories about why magic is dying, next moment your lap is full of a horny noble girl with big tits asking if she can “help you focus your energy”. Translation: she’s grinding on you and begging you to take her virginity while still pretending this is research. And it kind of is, because the game keeps treating sex like science and therapy and family drama all smashed together. It shouldn’t work, but it does, and then suddenly there’s a monster girl with claws holding your wrists to the bed and purring that she wants to see how much “human seed” it takes to make a hybrid pregnancy work out. I actually laughed, then I kept clicking, then I completely forgot I was laughing when her tongue hit your balls.

What hit me more than I expected is how many of these characters are kinda broken on the inside while still being absolute sluts on the outside. Like one elf milf who talks like a strict professor, all proper and controlled, then the scene just pivots and she’s kneeling between your legs, glasses slightly crooked, drool on your shaft, whispering she needs to feel “proof you’re real” in her throat. The blowjob is great obviously, but the tiny animation of her fingers digging into your thighs and that tiny ahegao flicker when you finally creampie her mouth, that detail stayed with me way too long. There’s a teasing pacing to the game where sometimes it makes you wait and sometimes it just throws you into a full group scene out of nowhere. One moment you’re having a quiet talk about Affinity theory, the next these ladies are basically arguing over who gets to ride you first while you’re pushed onto some couch like an exhausted porn actor. And I hated how often the camera cut away from the actual penetration to focus on faces or hands, but then in the next scene the exact same choice felt perfect, so I don’t even know what my brain wants anymore. The humor is messy and kinda awkward, like when a serious council meeting keeps getting derailed because one of the monster girls is still sore from the spanking you gave her and can’t sit still. There’s lesbian stuff too, and it isn’t just a “for your gaze” thing, they actually forget about you mid-scene at one point and keep eating each other out while you’re just standing there, pants open, like some extra. Honestly that part felt weirdly real. The whole found-family angle hides under all the titfucks and groping and anal teasing and whatnot, so you go from laughing at a stupid sex toy joke to suddenly being hit with “hey, we’re your home now” right after you’ve painted someone’s womb with a thick creampie. It’s messy, horny, sentimental, and sometimes it talks too much about magic, but when the spanking starts and the moans sync with those little animated thrusts, you’ll forget what the Great Families were even arguing about in the first place.