Plague in the kingdom, king on his throne shitting himself in fear, and you, the poor bastard who has to walk into a cursed forest with a cute elf wife who is way too good for you. That is the whole mood of Cursed Forest Quest – you are technically the hero, but it always feels like the story is asking what happens if the hero is soft, horny, and just a bit unlucky. Vallabelle, your elven wife, is the kind priestess type with huge tits, a perfect ass that does not make physical sense for an elf, and a smile that makes you think “ok, she is totally loyal, it’s fine” while the game quietly laughs in the background. The early scenes sell this perfect couple thing hard: sharing a campfire, she heals your wounds, teases you with a slow handjob as a reward for surviving the day, rides you with that soft priestess moaning, and you think, alright, wholesome, I can relax. Then the forest basically says, no, fuck you, this is a cursed land, and starts poking that little insecurity in your brain every time some other guy looks at her for more than two seconds.

What I liked too much, embarrassingly, is how the game uses “small” moments to kick you in the balls. For example, first time you get to a ruined shrine, there is a choice: go search for relics, or send Vallabelle to talk with the local spirit while you check the perimeter. I just clicked through, not thinking, checked a bush that had literally nothing important, and when I came back, the scene cut to Vallabelle slightly flushed, her robe messed up, her tits kind of out, spirit fading away, and her going “it’s fine, just a blessing.” That moment stuck in my head longer than the full-on vaginal scenes. Not even a big animation there, only small touches, like her avoiding eye contact. Later on there is an actual animated scene with her getting pounded against a forest altar, ass bouncing, moans way louder than anything she ever did for you, and that felt almost less cruel than that earlier half-harassment vibe, where you are not sure what happened but your dick and your stomach both react. By the way, the spanking stuff is weirdly casual here. Sometimes you get to spank her playfully as a “punishment” for teasing you in front of a guard, and she giggles and presses that big ass into your hand. Another time, some other guy does a very similar smack, and suddenly the camera lingers way too long, and she bites her lip in a way she never did for you. I hated that. I also replayed that branch three times to see if her expression changes with different quest choices. It barely does, which somehow turns me on more. The game likes to pretend you have control with all the quests and paths, and yeah, there are multiple endings and all, but honestly half the fun is realizing you clicked yourself into a timeline where you are basically watching your own wife get more “blessed” by the forest than cured. I wish there was a path where you could fully stay pure and keep her untouched, but also I really don’t, and it will never happen anyway.

Girlfriend says she’s going out “just for a drink” with that guy from work you already hate, and the game basically asks: alright, what happens to the loser who stays at home? You. You’re the loser. The whole thing plays in that super awkward space between horny and pathetic, where you keep hoping it will turn into some nice comforting porn and it just doesn’t. Instead, the mutual friend shows up to “keep you company” and it turns into this slow, almost playful destruction of your self-esteem, one joke at a time. It feels less like a porn fantasy and more like you accidentally opened your own humiliation diary in interactive form.

What I liked is how normal everything starts. She walks in like it’s nothing, kicks her shoes off, throws some casual line about how she “can’t believe she left you alone like this” and within five clicks she’s already poking at your ego. Not with dramatic dialogue, but with that light, social-media kind of bullying. She casually asks about your size like it’s small talk, laughs, changes the subject, comes back to it again later like she just remembered, and you realize she is doing it on purpose. The game leans really hard into that “friendly teasing” that stops being friendly very soon. There’s a moment where she pulls up her phone, shows you a picture, and just waits. No timer, no QTE, just silence. And the whole humiliation is in how long you stare before you click. Honestly that one hit harder than all the dirty lines.

The “minigame” pieces are tiny but they work. One scene you’re trying to tap in rhythm while she’s reading messages your girlfriend is sending from the date, and if you miss too much she just comments how your hands are as useless as your dick. Another part has this little reflex game where you try to cover yourself, fail, and she just laughs and compares you to the guy your girlfriend is with. Nothing super original on its own, but the tone is what sells it. It’s joking, then cruel, then joking again, and you kind of never know when she goes too far. I actually got distracted by checking Discord during one scene, came back, and she had “waited” for me with a new line about how even in a porn game you can’t focus. That’s the kind of stupid detail I remember more than the actual sex, which says a lot. Porn-wise, it’s not about variety, it’s about how small, weak and replaceable the game keeps telling you that you are. If you’re into being the absolute bottom of the food chain while your girlfriend is out having a real man’s night, this is basically a long, cruel inside joke directed at you.

Malcolm is the kind of guy you scroll past in real life without even noticing. Skinny, nervous, always a little hunched like the world is too loud for him. The game just throws you into his messy life in Walkerville, this weirdly normal Texas town that keeps acting like it’s hiding something behind every white picket fence and church smile. He lives with his mom and his sisters, and yeah, the game does not pretend that everyone’s thoughts are pure. It starts small. A door not fully closed when his older sister changes, that one innocent towel slip that lingers a bit too long, a late night where he “accidentally” opens the wrong room and just stands there, watching, hand already twitching toward his crotch before you even realize you clicked. The voyeur stuff creeps in quiet, like it was always there and the game just lets you stop pretending.

What surprised me is how it mixes dumb horny jokes with moments that feel kind of raw. Malcolm wants to stop being this loser and “be alpha” or whatever, but you see him in front of his laptop, porn tabs open, jerking off to the thought of his own mother bending over the laundry basket, big ass filling the screen, and you can feel how pathetic he knows he is. The game lets you push him further. You decide if he keeps watching from the crack of the door or actually walks in when his busty mom is stretched over the couch, panties riding up, asking for “a quick back rub” that your brain instantly twists into something else. It’s dirty in a way that feels almost too close, like browsing Pornhub in a private tab and suddenly stumbling on that one “mom” actress that reminds you of someone you know. You can focus on straight stuff if you want, just tits, pussies, toys, bare skin under flimsy house clothes, that kind of thing. Or you poke into the futa / trans side of town, which the game flags clearly so you don’t wander into it by accident, and there’s this odd thrill when a girl you thought was just a cute neighbor ends up pulling out something thick and throbbing from under her skirt while still having soft curves and a wet, tight pussy. It makes Malcolm freak out a bit, and it kind of made me do the same, in a good way.

Scenes play out slowly, with that visual novel pacing where you click through every little smirk and every bad joke he throws out when he’s nervous. Sometimes it works, like when his milf mom calls him out for staring and you can either chicken out or double down and compliment her tits in this awkward, blunt way that somehow gets her blushing instead of slapping him. Other times it drags on while you just want to reach the moment where she wraps her lips around his cock or grinds her big ass against him in the kitchen and “accidentally” rubs the tip against her soaked panties. There is this one masturbation scene with his younger sister, caught on a half-broken phone camera in the bathroom mirror, where she thinks nobody is home and spreads herself on the sink, one hand on her clit, the other holding a cheap toy she probably ordered from Amazon. That part stuck with me way more than I expected. Not even the nudity, but the way she looks around, bites her lip, keeps whispering Malcolm’s name like she hates herself for it. The humor cuts through sometimes, with him making stupid inner comments while jerking to his own family, but then in the next click his cock is out in his room and he is stroking himself raw, trying not to moan too loud while listening to muffled sounds through the wall. It is messy, horny, a bit trashy, and doesn’t really care about being “nice”. Which kind of fits this town full of smiling faces and very dirty secrets, all waiting for Malcolm to stop pretending he is just a passive loser and start fucking his way into the role he keeps dreaming about.

This one throws you into Springfield in a really weird way. You’re not Homer or Bart, you’re some random young guy who suddenly finds out he’s related to Mr. Burns, like the one sperm he forgot to freeze properly or something, and now old, wrinkly, pissed-off Burns is kind of broke. Not broken in spirit, just broke in money. So he drags you into his mess and calls it an “internship”. Of course you don’t get paid, except in tits, asses and trouble. The whole thing plays like a point and click sandbox, and Springfield becomes your horny playground. You walk around town, poke at stuff, click on hot spots, talk to people, unlock scenes. In practice that means you are “helping” save the empire by doing every dirty favor possible, and a lot of them involve his favorite yellow MILF with gravity-proof boobs.

Marge is the real center of all this, even when she’s pretending she’s not. The game treats her like a holy relic of big tits and big ass. She’s not just background mom, she’s the main reward for being a good little intern. The way the story sets it up is kind of fun: you end up in the Simpsons house a lot, pretending you’re handling some “business stuff” for Burns, but you’re mostly staring at her huge boobs while she bends over with that big blue hair wobbling a bit. Sometimes she wears that usual green dress, sometimes something more tight, and yeah, there are scenes where you push her way out of that “faithful wife” role. What I liked is that the game doesn’t rush it too fast in the beginning. You run lame errands, click through dialog, test different time slots, and then suddenly one small choice opens this totally lewd situation in the kitchen or living room where she’s blushing and you’re trying not to stare at her nipples poking through. And failing. The humor hits nice too, kind of dumb but on purpose. Burns talking about “asset management” while the camera basically stares at Marge’s ass in the same room feels very on-brand for this parody. I kept catching myself clicking every stupid painting on the wall like a raccoon, because sometimes there’s an extra porn mag or a dirty joke hidden there that has nothing to do with progress, but it makes the world feel more dirty and alive.

Then you have Lisa in the mix, and the tone swings to something more sneaky and taboo. She’s not just there as background; she actually pokes her nose into your “intern” work. There are moments where she’s suspicious, and you’re juggling conversations, pretending you care about homework or environmental shit, while your real goal is to keep her from catching what you do with her mom. At the same time, the game gives her own corrupt path, so if you go that route it gets pretty fucking spicy. There’s something twisted about helping her with some project and realizing half the choices you make are slowly making her more open to weird, adult stuff. It’s uncomfortable in a way that clearly knows it’s wrong, but that’s also the fetish for a lot of people who are here, so the game doesn’t shy away from it. I actually got stuck once because I forgot which day she was in which location and I had to check some random fan-made schedule someone posted on Reddit from their Google Drive screenshots. That’s the kind of nonsense only sandbox lovers tolerate. If you want every dirty scene, you’ll need a little patience: talk to Marge in different rooms, annoy Lisa with multiple dialog options, help Burns with his degenerate “business plans”, and don’t be scared to re-check old locations after plot jumps. Half of the hottest stuff triggered for me only when I came back at a “wrong” time and clicked the same door I ignored before. There’s this nice feeling when you finally unlock a new Marge pose or a new Lisa reaction and you know it came from you messing around instead of following some boring arrow. If you play it slowly, save often, and actually enjoy being a nosy asshole in every room of the house, the game really rewards you with more than just one quick cum scene. Take your time in Springfield, watch every little body language change, and squeeze every filthy drop the writers buried in those yellow curves.