You know that feeling when you’re scrolling on your phone, bored out of your mind, and you start thinking “yeah, I kinda wanna flirt with half the anime multiverse right now”? This game leans right into that. It’s a mobile-style dating sim where your whole job is to talk, tease, and slowly push your way from cute banter to full-on filthy with a bunch of familiar faces. One minute you’re trying to keep your shit together while Tsunade leans in with those ridiculous tits, the next you’re trading playful jabs with Marin Kitagawa like she’s your chaotic cosplay girlfriend who absolutely knows she’s out of your league. It’s very much a “pick a waifu, poke at her until she cracks, then enjoy the view” setup. You answer questions, pick dialog options, earn points when you say the thing she wants to hear, and each correct move nudges the relationship from “hi, senpai” to “okay, pull your dick out already.”

What I like is how the game doesn’t pretend it’s some deep, tragic romance. It pretends for like 10 seconds, then goes straight into horny nerd brain. You start with small talk, a bit of teasing, then she starts hinting, and once you’ve stacked enough points, the clothes start vanishing. One date you’re laughing with Aqua while she’s being useless and bratty, the next date she’s grinding in your lap and calling you a pervert like it’s your fault. Rias acts all composed, polite, almost royal, but you keep pushing the right answers and suddenly you’re getting your cock squeezed between those huge tits she pretends are a burden. There are titfucks, messy handjobs, slow teasing oral where she holds eye contact like she wants to watch you lose control, the usual “oops I sat on it” vaginal sex, and yeah, anal too if you unlock the right scenes. Some girls treat it as a reward, some as a challenge, some as “shut up and enjoy it.” I had this moment with a certain dragon milf where she’s bouncing on top of me with that massive ass, smiling like she’s finally found a new toy, and I genuinely forgot to click the next line because I was too busy staring.

It’s not all straight either, which is nice. You’ve got traps like Astolfo and Felix in the mix, cute and flirty and way too confident, and if you’re into that, the game doesn’t tiptoe around it. They flirt hard, they suck you off like they’ve practiced, they ride you like they’re trying to prove something. Some routes feel more romantic, like a soft slow-burn with a girl like Rem, where you actually care a bit about the conversation before you end up buried inside her, and some are pure chaos, like Darkness begging you to use her like a toy while you’re thinking “ok, I’m the degenerate here but wow.” It’s kinda funny how sometimes the writing hits this surprisingly sweet mood, then two screens later you’re balls-deep and watching a loop of her moaning and drooling, legs shaking. There’s a harem vibe too once you realize just how many characters are waiting for you. Best way to enjoy it? Don’t rush. Take a character, answer her correctly, watch her shift from “oh, we’re just talking” to “fuck me harder” and let yourself get sucked into each scene. Screenshot the faces you like, replay the ones that make you twitch, and let the game do what it clearly wants to do: melt your brain in the dirtiest, laziest way possible.

Public transport wifi is trash, Pornhub keeps buffering, so I ended up poking around this thing instead, and somehow it ate my whole commute before I even noticed. The idea is simple as fuck: you sit in this sleazy casting couch office, you’re the “professional interviewer” with a dick that thinks it’s the main character, and all these famous anime waifus walk in like they answered a shady Craigslist ad. It looks like one of those mobile VN ports you’d secretly tap through on the toilet at work, but it runs smooth in browser and doesn’t pretend to be more serious than it is. Girl shows up, you pretend to ask a few questions, then it turns straight into “how deep can she take it” faster than Instagram shows you an ad after you talk about shoes once.

The fun is how wrong it feels to see characters like Tifa or Asuna trying to play “shy actress” for two lines, then suddenly they’re on their knees, lipstick smeared, eyes rolled up in that full-on ahegao, spitting drool down your shaft while the MC keeps talking like this is some normal HR interview. One minute Kobayashi is awkward and stiff, sitting proper, skirt straight, asking if this is really “just a simple audition.” Next click, she’s bent over the arm of the couch, fat ass bouncing on your cock, glasses crooked, trying to sound professional while you pound her so hard the text box might as well just say “nnnngghhh” for three scenes. I had one run where Froppy came in super polite, stuttering a bit, tongue peeking out, and by the end I was making her swallow every last drop while she’s got cum on her cheeks, tongue out like some horny frog idol who forgot what modesty was. The oral scenes are honestly the best part. They let the camera sit a bit too long on the lips wrapped around that big dick, slurpy sound effects, stupid little bits of dialogue like “it’s bigger than I expected” that should feel cringe but I still clicked next like a clown. Vaginal stuff hits too, especially on the big tits / thick hips girls. Bulma riding you while pretending it’s “for science” made me laugh way more than it should. Her tits bouncing, her moaning into some bullshit excuse about “data collection” while your cock is basically rearranging her brain. And the MC is not subtle. There’s this one moment with Chizuru where she comes in with that rented girlfriend vibe, all polite smile and legs crossed, then the questions slowly get filthier until he’s basically asking “how many times you can cum on camera” and she just kind of gives up and spreads for him. No smooth romance buildup. Just straight to “get on the couch, open that pussy, let’s see if you can handle a creampie on first shoot.”

It’s all very obviously made to be “five minute fun” and yet I kept going through girl after girl like some horny goblin collecting skins in Genshin. The game acts like you’re running a low-budget porn studio, but there’s almost no management layer, just enough fake “casting” talk to justify why Tifa has your cock halfway down her throat. Sometimes that annoyed me. I actually wanted to pick outfits, choose lighting, fail a scene, bully them a bit more with choices. Instead it’s mostly “click line, get lewder, dick out.” But in a shitty way that also works, because when I’m half dead on the metro after work I don’t want deep strategy, I just want Asuna kneeling between my legs and calling me “director” while she drools all over my dick. I kept thinking, “ok, one more girl and I close Chrome,” then suddenly I’m watching Satsuki, who’s supposed to be this icy queen type, riding me with that smug face twisted into a full orgasm meltdown, tits bouncing like crazy, talking about how this is “only for testing.” It’s scuffed, sometimes the dialogue repeats, sometimes the transitions are janky, and at one point I got irrationally annoyed that the interview desk lamp is always tilted the same way. But when you’ve got a screen full of ahegao, cum strings on lips, big asses slapping against your hips, and a parade of famous waifus lining up to “audition” on your cock, that stupid lamp is the last thing you’re actually looking at.

This whole thing feels like someone took every anime waifu you've ever crushed on and threw them into a blender with gacha mechanics. Pocket Waifu's got everyone - Megumin doing her explosion thing, Lucoa being all thicc dragon energy, even Tatsumaki looking perpetually annoyed while somehow being incredibly fuckable. The clicking gets mindless fast but honestly? That's kinda the point. You're not here for complex gameplay, you're here because seeing Rias Gremory in progressively skimpier outfits while numbers go up hits some primal part of your brain that retail therapy usually handles.

The progression system is whatever - click, level up, unlock scene, repeat. But fuck me the variety is impressive in a chaotic way. One minute you're getting a titjob from Lucy Heartfilia, next you're balls deep in some Nikke girl whose name I can't pronounce. The animations aren't groundbreaking but they get the job done, especially when Erza's doing that thing with her tongue or when Hinata finally stops being shy and goes full slut mode. Rosa from Pokemon looking absolutely stacked was not something I expected but here we are. The costumes unlock pretty regularly which keeps things fresh - nothing beats seeing Darkness in a maid outfit begging for it.

What's wild is how they managed to cram so many different series together without it feeling completely schizophrenic. Though honestly the Kobayashi dragon maids feel a bit out of place next to the more explicitly sexual characters, but whatever, Ilulu's tits make up for any tonal inconsistencies. The anal scenes with Sakura Matou hit different when you're three hours deep into idle clicking. Sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be managing resources and just end up staring at Yor Forger's ass physics for way too long. The mobile interface works fine but occasionally the click detection gets wonky during the more intense scenes which is annoying when you're trying to... multitask.

Didn’t think I’d even bother with another “casting couch” parody, but WaifuHub kinda trapped me there for a while. It’s one of those browser things that pretends to be ironic, except it isn’t, or maybe it is, I don’t even know anymore. You play as the guy behind the camera, interviewing all these anime girls you’ve seen a million times before - 2B shows up all confident and stiff, Raphtalia’s nervous like she’s in a real audition, and Lucoa just… well, she’s Lucoa, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The voice acting’s weirdly uneven, and sometimes the moans cut out at random, which somehow made it more real? Like catching some clumsy home-recording vibe. But yeah, the animations hit that point between funny and hot. You’ll laugh when Galko starts her self-introduction too seriously and then forgets she’s supposed to be seducing you, and then it hits you - you’re actually into this.

What got me wasn’t even the sex scenes (well, okay, some of them). It’s that stupid fake dialogue right before things go wild. Meiko saying she’s “totally professional” and then two sentences later losing it on camera - it’s dumb but oddly human. I kept noticing small stuff: the sound of sandals scraping, the way hands twitch when the pace changes. The dev probably didn’t plan half of that; it’s just dirty accident magic. Though I swear the skip button hates me - it freezes every other time I touch it. Doesn’t matter though, since you end up watching everything twice anyway. And Cheelai? She breaks the fourth wall once and it ruined me, I laughed so hard I forgot I was supposed to jerk off.

Somewhere around Mitsuki’s scene I caught myself thinking about how strange it is that we build whole universes of desire around characters that started out as jokes for teenage boys. Then I gave up thinking because Mina’s turn came and - yeah. Animation’s rough around the edges, lines are bad, the logic is nonsense, but damn if it doesn’t feel alive in that broken way cheap porn sometimes does. I still can’t figure out why 2B blushes differently depending on the camera angle. Maybe it’s intentional. Probably not. Doesn’t matter.