Princess Zelda here is not the noble wise girl from the usual Nintendo stuff. She is passed out drunk on a small table like after some shitty village party, legs open, clothes still “kind of” on, and you are basically the invisible bastard deciding what happens to her. The game throws you right into it, no slow intro, just Zelda sleeping with that messy blonde hair and big tits almost falling out, and three guys already around her like hyenas. It feels like a nasty extra scene ripped out from Breath of the Wild, but more like if a horny modder went completely crazy after drinking too much. You’re poking, pulling, stripping pieces of clothing off, checking how the panties slide down her thighs, how the bra gets pushed under those tits. The sleep thing is weirdly hot and also kind of fucked up, she never wakes up, she just moans and reacts with her body. It’s like the game is saying “yeah, we know this is wrong, and you’re still clicking” and honestly, I kept clicking.

What I liked a lot is how everything is hidden behind clicks that are not explained. There is no big UI, you just tap around like some perv searching for secrets. You touch her boobs, they bounce, her nipples harden, a guy moves in closer. You rub her pussy, the panties slowly get shifted, then suddenly you’re looking at her shaved slit and already deciding if you go straight for anal first or not. That choice is funny because I kept changing my mind, going “ok pussy first, no wait, that ass is too nice, shit, go back.” There is this moment when you finally line her ass up and push in, and her sleeping face does this tiny reaction, like a half-frown, half-pleasure look, and it got me more than the full-on bukkake later. Speaking of that, the cumshots are everywhere, on her face, boobs, belly, and the game lets you overdo it until she looks like someone spilled a whole bottle of glue on her. I got annoyed that sometimes the cum doesn’t land exactly where I expected, I kept trying to cover one nipple perfectly and it always missed by like two pixels, and I still don’t know why that pissed me off so much.

Then there’s the futa thing, which is half hidden like some naughty Easter egg. You click near the bottle, suddenly Zelda has a cock, and it somehow fits her too well. Watching her sleep while her own dick is hard is a strange mix of cute and totally degenerate. I spent too long just teasing it, making it twitch while the guys still use her holes, because it felt like solving a small dirty puzzle: “how many things can be happening on this girl at the same time without the scene breaking.” When she finally shoots her load, it mixes with the other cum already on her body, and the whole screen looks like a porn painter lost control. It’s not a complicated game, it’s literally just clicking and dragging and trying different spots, but the way it’s built makes you feel like you found some forbidden Zelda cartridge under your bed when you were a teen, only this time you actually get to see her fucked unconscious and drained from both ends. I kind of hate how much I liked it.

Zelda finally letting you into her bedroom feels like you hacked Nintendo’s cloud and found the secret “18+ only” route they never wanted to admit exists. She’s there on the bed, all royal and smug, not some random anime chick pasted over a green tunic theme. It’s really, clearly her. The hair, the ears, the little “I’m better than you but kinda curious” look on her face. The whole thing plays like a horny side quest that somehow slipped between two boss fights. You’re not swinging a sword, you’re juggling bottles, lines, timing, and her mood, trying to get that perfect mix between “classy princess” and “ok I’m horny and a bit drunk, what now?”. It’s almost funny how much this turns into a puzzle game where the puzzle is literally how much wine a Hyrule princess needs before she stops acting like she’s made of porcelain and starts doing a slow strip in front of you.

The loop is simple, but it has that “just one more try” feeling. You offer her a drink, watch how her expression changes, how her body language gets softer or shuts down, and decide if you push, tease, or play nice for a bit. Screw up and she rolls over, dress still on, ass just out of reach, like a game over screen that looks like it’s mocking you. Hit the right rhythm and you get those hentai clips as your “reward”, little scenes where she loosens up piece by piece. It’s not just instant naked fanservice, which honestly I liked more than I expected. There’s this one moment where she’s already tipsy, cheeks flushed, and she does this half-awkward, half-proud striptease, stumbling a bit while trying to look erotic, and it sells the fantasy better than any straight-up porn loop. It’s stupid, and horny, and somehow kind of charming. There are a couple of times where the pacing feels off, like you’re clicking the same option and waiting for a different reaction that comes two steps later than your brain expects, but then she leans forward, cleavage framed just right, and your irritation magically disappears. The videos themselves hit that old-school hentai vibe, not super polished, more like something you found on a shady site back in the day, and that actually fits this parody mood. It’s not subtle, nothing about this is subtle, but if you ever wanted to “seduce” a certain elf princess with too much royal wine and see how far that goes, this is basically that fantasy turned into a browser toy with way more personality than it probably deserves.

Midna finally gets what every horny fan on the internet has been drawing for years, and it’s just as dirty as your old browser history. This little imp from Twilight Princess is dropped straight into a private sex menu where she basically exists to service that big Hylian cock in every way you’ve secretly wanted since you were “just looking up Zelda lore on Google Images.” No plot, no hero’s journey, no saving Hyrule, only Midna staring at your screen like, “yeah, I know why you’re here, you filthy human, pick something from the corner and stop pretending.” You click an option, and suddenly her tiny body is wrapped around a thick shaft, those small tits bouncing a bit while her hands jerk you off with that smug expression that probably awakened half of the fandom in the first place. She’s got that mix of bratty and needy, like she’s mocking the size and still drooling over it, and it makes her handjob scenes feel like an insult and a reward at the same time. Very motivating combo, by the way.

Then the mouth comes into play and it honestly hits different. When she takes it in, the way her head moves and her lips stretch is weirdly satisfying, like someone actually paid attention to the sucking, not just looped some lazy motion. One second she’s working the shaft with both hands, the next her tongue’s all over the tip, and you’re just there thinking, “I really shouldn’t be this turned on by a gremlin from a Nintendo game,” while your mouse keeps clicking new angles like you’re browsing TikTok, but instead of dances it’s deepthroat. The anal part is where the game just stops pretending to be classy at all. Small imp, big cock, tight hole, and she still looks like she’s half annoyed, half addicted to it. Watching her get it in the ass, with her back arched and her hips pushed out, is that kind of scene you tell yourself you’ll watch once, just to check, and twenty minutes later you’re still there, trying every variation of speed like you’re testing a new vibrator setting. The cumshots are absolute porn-brain territory too, no subtlety, just thick white mess all over her face, in her mouth, dripping from her ass, like the artist had one goal: “make sure the player knows this guy definitely didn’t pull out.” And you do know. Repeatedly.

What’s funny is how simple the whole thing is and still it worms into your brain. It’s just you, a list of actions in the corner you keep pretending not to hover over, and Midna being a complete pervert about every single one. There’s something oddly charming about how she goes from smug little troll to cum-soaked toy, then back to smug like nothing happened, like she’s ready to tease you again and you’re the only one embarrassed here. Sometimes the small tits work even better because the focus is on her expressions and the cock she’s worshipping, not some giant bouncing balloons blocking the view. Then again, when she’s riding, her chest moves just enough to remind you they’re there and honestly that sells the motion more than any huge anime chest could. I kept switching between oral and anal like I was changing Spotify tracks, hunting for that “just right” rhythm, and when the final spurt hits and you see her swallow or feel it dripping out of her used asshole, it’s this filthy little payoff that makes you think, “yeah ok, one more round,” which is obviously a lie you believe every time. The whole thing feels like a very specific thirst from a very specific part of the internet somehow got turned into a toy you can actually click and play with, and if you were ever even slightly weak to Midna fanart, good luck pretending you’re not going to check every single option at least twice.

This one hits different on a phone screen, in a kinda dirty, lazy Sunday way. It’s just you, your thumb, and Midna filling the whole display like she’s crawling right out to sit on your lap. No menus in your face, no stupid pop‑ups, you just tap and slide on her body and watch how she reacts. It feels almost too simple at first, like “ok, I just poke her and she moans, big deal”, then ten minutes later you’re still rubbing that same spot because the tiny change in pace flips her from teasing smirk to that hungry look like she’s begging you to stick it in already. The POV angle makes it feel like you’re lying under her, looking up, with her tits bouncing in your face while she rides. Sometimes the camera is a bit stubborn if you’re used to fancy Unity stuff from Nutaku or those polished mobile ports, but here it’s raw and straight to the point, like some old Flash game that never learned shame.

The nice thing on touch is how natural the teasing feels. You don’t have to memorize combos or whatever, you just drag your finger over her nipples, slide around her thighs, tap her ass, and she slowly goes from smug imp queen to “shut up and fuck me”. There’s a point when you shift from stroking her tits to actually pressing deeper and the game lets you slide into her, and it’s that smooth, dirty moment your brain goes “ok, now we’re fucking”. Anal comes in kind of out of nowhere if you experiment with position taps, like you push just a bit lower and suddenly she’s taking it in the ass and the whole vibe gets rougher, with that mix of pain and pleasure on her face. I didn’t expect to like that here, but the way your thumb controls the rhythm, speeding up or slowing down, makes it feel more personal than just clicking “anal scene” in a menu. There’s a titfuck angle too where your cock is squished between her red‑tinted breasts, sliding up and down, her mouth so close but not quite touching, and you’re just dragging back and forth on the screen to keep that slick motion going.

The x‑ray bit surprised me more than it should. I thought it would be gimmick, but when you toggle it and see your shaft sliding inside her, stretching her, filling her ass, it syncs with your strokes so well that your hand starts following the animation without you thinking. It’s like your finger is the dick. It’s a little cursed that this works better on my cheap Android browser than some “real” games I grabbed off itch.io that lag like crazy. The cumshot is where it all sorta explodes at once: you can hold yourself on the edge by tapping slower, then go wild, and when you climax it splashes all over her belly, her face, sometimes caught between her tits, sometimes hitting weird spots like her hairline and you’re like “ok, that’s not where I aimed but sure”. I wish they gave more control over exact aim, like letting you drag the final spray, but whatever, you can reload fast and go again. There’s not really a story to remember, just a horny little reunion with Midna that feels like a dirty secret you keep in your mobile browser tab, ready for one hand and no patience.