This thing feels like someone grabbed your Steam library while drunk, smashed it together with Pornhub search history and then just said “yeah, that’s a universe now”. You start as this regular dude who absolutely should not be trusted with a portal-hopping device, and suddenly you are peeking into all these twisted versions of familiar worlds. One minute you are watching a redhead archer who is very obviously not Aloy grind her hips on some ancient machine while you are crouched in the bushes like a horny raccoon, next moment you jump to a rainy hellhole that smells like Silent Hill and Resident Evil had a baby, and Lady D is sitting on a throne with her thighs open, lazy as fuck, letting you worship her feet before she even looks at your face. The game does not even pretend to be subtle. It is like “here, you wanted Ellie with a knife and a dirty mouth, and you wanted to see if she kisses girls as aggressively as she stabs clickers? Cool, have a scene where she is shoving some punk girl against a wall, french kissing her while you watch from a half-broken window, hand in your pants, too scared to breathe because she almost catches you.”

The fun is how the game keeps throwing fanservice you did not know you wanted. Jinx is here, of course she is, wired on some shimmer knockoff, riding a dildo fixed to an old Zaun pipe and laughing like a maniac while you sneak under the catwalk to get a better angle on her dripping pussy. There is this whole cyberpunk city shard where Judy and Panam and Meredith all exist at the same time, like some weird mod that never got patched, and you get dragged into this fucked up NTR setup where your character gets to spy on Panam cheating on you with a chrome dom guy while Judy is under the table, licking Panam’s clit like it is some religious duty. You can join in, or you can just sit there and be a cuck voyeur, watching her swallow his dick on her knees while Panam moans your name by accident. The writing goes from funny to cruel in half a scene, like there is a Mass Effect corner where Miranda is using you like a toy, guiding your tongue over her ass, forcing you to rim her in an elevator, and then on the next jump you land in a cold Metro tunnel where Snezhana is giving some dirty, fast blowjob to survive and you kind of feel bad about how turned on you are.

Not everything hits right. There is a Game of Thrones cluster with Sansa, Arya, Cersei and Margaery, and it almost feels like the dev just dumped all their incest porn folder there and called it a day. One scene has Cersei sitting on the edge of a bed, her foot pressed on your chest, making you lick between her toes while she makes Sansa kneel and eat her out from behind, slow and obedient, like a trained dog, and it is hot, but then it cuts away way too soon and suddenly you are in some Tomb Raider ruin watching Lara and Kassandra compete who can make you cum faster with their mouth, and you never get closure on that foot thing. Same with Baldur’s Gate girls, like Shadowheart and Lae’zel and that green disaster Lae’zel’s friend whose name I always forget. One moment you are buried between Shadowheart’s thighs, tongue deep in her pussy, her hand on your hair pushing you to lick her ass too, soft little whines in your ear, and then the game just shoves you through another portal into some cursed TV zone that is basically The Ring with tits. Still, every now and then it nails that perfect mix of naughty fanfic and actual kink. Liara and Miranda double-teaming you, one riding your face while the other rides your cock, your hand tangled in blue skin and black hair, your vision all sweat and pussy. Lizzy Wizzy doing this weird chrome striptease before letting you jerk off on her feet. A lesbian alley scene with Zoe and Clementine lookalikes where they think no one sees them, kissing, giggling, fingers slipping into panties while rain hits the trash cans around them. Some parts feel rushed, some parts feel like the dev had one hand on the keyboard and one on their dick, but there is this stupid charm in how messy and raw it all is, like a huge crossover fanfic that forgot to be safe for work and never tried to fix itself.

Liara here is not the calm space nerd you remember from your first Paragon playthrough. This thing treats her like the main course at a dirty intergalactic buffet, and the camera knows exactly what it’s doing. You load in and she’s already in that soft blue glow vibe, tits way bigger than in the games, areola huge and dark and just kind of hypnotizing. The whole thing feels like one of those NSFW mods you secretly googled on your phone while pretending to check Discord. Except here that fantasy actually responds to you. You poke, you drag, you change tempo, and Liara reacts with these breathy moans that sound a bit too happy to be “just studying Prothean ruins.” The sound design has that cheap porn energy, but it works. Like watching Pornhub with AirPods in and pretending you’re classy.

The best part is how the game leans on big bodies like it’s proud of it. Thighs thick as Garrosh’s neck, cleavage spilling out like Blizzard’s artists finally lost their filter, and that absurdly big cock you control slapping against blue skin like some cursed crossover between Mass Effect and an orc breeding fanfic you read on AO3 at 3% battery. There’s a moment where you angle the view up and Liara’s breasts just bounce into frame, nipples huge, areola taking half the screen, and you kinda forget to actually click anything for a second. It’s not “elegant sci‑fi erotica,” it’s more like “what if your teenage Shepard’s brain had access to Blender and zero shame.” The animations are not perfect, sometimes hips clip weird and her expression goes dead fish for a second, like she just alt‑tabbed mentally to check her email, but then a moan hits at the right time and you stop caring. The rhythm can get janky too, like the strokes desync slightly from the sounds, which somehow makes it feel more like a cheap old Flash game on Newgrounds, and that nostalgia is its own kind of horny. Also the loop of one particular wet sound effect feels about 2 seconds too short and it starts to feel like a TikTok audio, but yeah, you’ll live.

Thing is, this game knows exactly which brain cells it’s targeting. If you ever paused Mass Effect just to stare at Liara’s ass in the squad menu, you’re the target audience. If you know who Jaina Proudmoore is and thought “yeah, her but with Liara’s face and an orc’s cock” then welcome, you sick bastard, you’re home. It doesn’t pretend to be deep, it just shoves a big penis into a famous blue alien and lets you mess with angles and pace like some pervy cameraman on the Normandy. There’s this angle from under her, thighs framing the screen, big breasts swaying above, and you can almost hear your old Xbox wheezing under the weight of your sins. Sometimes you’ll wish there was more variation, like maybe a different position or a way to swap in some green orc skin and pretend Garrosh is breaking her in while Jaina watches from the side, but the loop is simple enough that your dick understands it before your brain does. It’s like those trashy TikTok edits of Liara but interactive and with way more cum. Not high art. Not subtle. Just lewd, loud, and very, very blue.

Tali is absolutely not the shy little quarian tech nerd people remember from the original games. Here she’s more like the center of a very rude quiz show where every question is “How far are you willing to go this time?” and the answer keeps getting filthier. The story picks up after she escapes this messed up ghost ship, and instead of going back to anything safe, she ends up bouncing around space with a bunch of “friends” who have very specific ideas about what to do with her suit, her body, and her obedience. One moment you’re in a legit combat scene, trying to manage shields and positioning, and the next moment losing a fight means Tali is on her knees, visor fogged, being used like a trophy by whatever monster just wrecked you. And yeah, the camera really loves her ass. Whoever built those shots deserves an award. Maybe “Excessive Focus On Tali’s Butt” gold medal.

The game kind of feels like a horny Mass Effect quiz where every choice is secretly: a) blowjob, b) anal, c) corruption, d) all of the above. You run around in this sandbox structure, poke different parts of the ship or station, and suddenly you’re in some awkward scene with Liara teasing her while EDI throws dry comments in the background like she’s hosting a porn podcast. One of my favorite dumb moments: I was half-tabbing out to check Discord, left a teasing scene running with Tali “practicing” oral on some alien cock, came back and she had switched positions and was riding instead because I let the idle animation chain continue. No tooltip, no pop up, just “you ignored the scene, now she’s even more corrupted, congrats.” It’s janky in spots, the animations sometimes loop too obviously, and Kasumi just kind of appears, steals the spotlight with a handjob scene, then vanishes again like a horny ninja. Never explained properly, and the game just shrugs and moves on.

What’s nice is how it leans fully into parody without being shy about anything. Miranda’s big tits are used exactly how you think, Ashley is still an uptight soldier but now her idea of discipline is getting Tali to “follow orders” with vaginal and anal rewards, and somewhere in the middle Shepard is there, but half of the time feels like a side character in his own porn. The corruption aspect creeps up on you in a stupidly fun way: early Tali is awkward, blushing, touching herself alone in a quiet room, just masturbation and a bit of teasing. A few bad fights lost, some “training” with Shiala and Samara, one very wrong encounter with a slime-like monster, and suddenly she’s the one grabbing cocks first, begging for more, suit open in places you’re pretty sure are not Alliance regulation. It’s dirty, it’s uneven, it repeats a couple of angles too much, and the UI sometimes hides a choice you swear should be there. But when she bends over in zero-g and the whole scene turns into this slow, weightless anal fuck with her gasping inside the helmet, you kind of forget what you were annoyed about. Or what you were doing before the scene started. Or why Jira is still open in another tab.

Tali on pilgrimage, horny as fuck, stuck in a sandboxy slice of the Mass Effect universe where everything feels just a little off in a fun way. The vibe is like someone took the usual “save the galaxy” story, turned the camera away from Shepard, and just followed this masked quarian girl while she slowly loses all her restraint. You start small. Teasing, light flirting, lots of “oh this is just necessary for the mission” kind of bullshit she tells herself. The corruption is very slow, and actually kind of cute at the start. She fingers herself in some corner of the ship, trying to be quiet, suit still on, thinking about Miranda’s insane tits or Liara’s soft tentacle-girl energy, and you’re just there clicking through, deciding how far she lets her mind wander. Porn game, sure, but it’s got that lazy, comfortable pace where your hand just rests on the mouse and you forget Telegram is still open in the background.

Then stuff escalates and suddenly you are juggling combat screens with monsters while half your brain is thinking “how do I get Tali alone with that tentacle thing again.” The combat is simple, more like a loose frame that lets the corruption scenes drip in after fights. Win a scuffle, get a new scene. Lose, get a different kind of scene. Sometimes it’s oral, sometimes anal, sometimes you just watch her grind on some alien cock like she’s trying to erase her old pilgrim self. There’s this one bit with a monster pinning her, her suit half open, ass pushed up, and she’s trying to say no while the text clearly sells that her body already decided. It’s filthy, but it stays oddly chill. Not edgy, more like “yeah, she’s fucked, and she likes it way more than she wants to admit.”

The sandbox element is kind of messy but in a good “old Ren’Py browser game with too many menus” way. You hop around locations on the flotilla, talk to people, poke at EDI or Ashley or whoever, unlock new lewd paths. Some zones feel empty as hell, like they exist just so the dev can maybe add something in the future, and you wander in circles thinking “was there supposed to be a scene here?” Then suddenly you stumble into a long masturbation chain with Tali that’s animated just enough to keep your dick interested, hips moving, tits bouncing, quarian moans. I liked that the game doesn’t hold your hand; it sometimes straight up ignores you, gives no hint where the next hot thing is. You alt-tab to Discord, complain in some adult-games channel, go back, click something random, and boom, Tali is choking on cock in zero gravity like it’s the most natural thing in the world. It’s not polished, some animations loop weird, some lines sound like Google Translate had a stroke, but that roughness fits. Feels like watching a dirty fan project grow into its own corrupt little universe, where the pilgrimage is less about honor and more about how many holes she can fill before going back to the flotilla and pretending she learned something spiritual.