You start as this kinda clueless guy dumped into a “totally not official” region, phone in one hand, half a chub in the other, and suddenly you’re supposed to be both monster trainer and professional horndog. The game plays it like a classic monster RPG, turn based fights and all, but every win feels more like you’re grinding Tinder than grinding levels. You throw balls at monsters, then five minutes later you’re throwing something else at Misty in a changing room. I was half expecting it to be all tease, but nope, it goes hard on the porn side. Big asses, big tits, tiny shorts, way too much bending over. Cynthia shows up with that smug “I know you’re staring at my boobs” energy, and the game absolutely rewards you for being a thirsty idiot. You can wander around like a sandbox, poke into houses you clearly shouldn’t, get sidetracked by some milf asking for “help with her Pokémon” who definitely does not mean her Pokémon. At one point I was supposed to go beat a gym and instead spent 30 minutes trying to trigger a specific sex scene with Nessa because someone on a Reddit thread said it was animated differently on the second try. They were right, by the way. Worth it.

The pickup line stuff hit me harder than I expected. You actually choose dialogue in some scenes, and it feels like speed dating with cheat codes turned off. One option is polite, one is horny, one is just straight up degenerate. I tested them like a weirdo doing field research. On Telegram I even sent screenshots to a language exchange buddy asking “does this line sound like a real fuckboy?” He said yes and I felt strangely proud. Sometimes being bold pays off and Misty basically jumps your dick in the locker after a battle. Other times you try something dirty on Dawn, and she goes “wow, creepy” and the scene turns colder, you still get sex later, but the vibe is different, more rough, less cuddly. It actually teaches you something weird about tone, even if the game itself is mostly about shoving your cock into every trainer with a pulse. The monsters are just there like foreplay excuses, beat one, unlock a new way to rail someone. I wish there was an option to mute the moaning without muting sound effects, but the game doesn’t care what I want and honestly that fits. At one point I forgot the main quest completely and just walked in circles trying new lines on Cynthia to see which one made her blush the most. Felt like using OkCupid in a fantasy world where every match wants to fuck you five minutes after small talk. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Pokestars is basically what happens when someone looks at the old anime and goes, “yeah but what if they all wanted to fuck the trainer instead of chase badges,” and then actually commits to the bit. You’re this dude who somehow lands in this luxury pokemon training resort that’s less about ranked battles and more about which girl you’re making moan behind the stadium later. It’s played like one of those point and click dating sims where you bounce between locations on a map, poke on stuff, poke on girls, poke on buttons, in that order. May, Misty and Dawn are the main stars here, and they’re not subtle. First time you meet Misty she already has that “I’m gonna test you” energy, except it’s not a gym test, it’s whether you can keep up with her mouth while the battle scoreboard is still flickering in the background. It’s funny because the game pretends to care about rankings and resort rules, but after like ten minutes you’re mostly just planning who you’ll fuck in which corner of the map and if you can trigger another animated scene before clicking through the dialog you half read.

What I liked a lot is that it doesn’t waste too much time teasing without payoff. You win a fight? You’re not getting a high five; you’re getting on your knees or putting her on hers. There are full-on oral scenes where you literally watch her head move, with voice lines that are not studio-perfect, but that kinda makes it better, feels more like a weird fan project that got horny and never stopped. Vaginal scenes too, with those 3dcg bodies pressed together and enough motion to not feel static. Sometimes the moans don’t sync perfectly with the thrusts and it made me laugh, but I still didn’t skip it, so whatever. The resort itself works like a hub: pool, rooms, arenas, those spots you click just to see if someone’s there to jump your dick. You get some dating sim flavor on top of it all, little choices in dialog, giving attention to one girl over another, pretending you care about who has the strongest team when you’re actually just angling for a threesome later. There’s even this moment where Dawn corners you in a hallway after a match, her voice goes low and you can hear the slight echo like they actually thought about the room, and suddenly she’s on her back on a bench, panties around one ankle, you pushing in while she still has her gloves on. That kind of detail is the thing that keeps you clicking “next” even when a line of text is kinda cheesy.

The voiced parts are the big hook and also the thing that sometimes makes it feel janky in a good way. May has this cute, eager tone when she goes down on you, wet sounds and breath mixing, but then every once in a while a line sounds like it was recorded in another room or on a different mic. It pulled me out for half a second and then there’s a close-up of her lips sliding down your shaft and suddenly I don’t care anymore. Harem angle is strong too, not just one-on-one stuff. You get those scenes where two of them tag-team you, one sucking while the other rides, like a porn parody that forgot to blur anything. And the point and click side makes it feel a bit like a scavenger hunt for sex; “if I go to the resort hot springs at this time, will Misty be there? Will she be naked already? Can I trigger that one scene where she sits on my face first and then demands I pound her right after?” Sometimes the pacing drags and you’re just clicking through resort menus looking for the next bit of action instead of actually doing trainer things, but then the game throws another animated fuck sequence at you and your brain forgives it instantly. It’s not classy, it’s not subtle, it’s literally fan fantasy turned into a horny resort simulator, and yeah, it works.