You start as this kinda clueless guy dumped into a “totally not official” region, phone in one hand, half a chub in the other, and suddenly you’re supposed to be both monster trainer and professional horndog. The game plays it like a classic monster RPG, turn based fights and all, but every win feels more like you’re grinding Tinder than grinding levels. You throw balls at monsters, then five minutes later you’re throwing something else at Misty in a changing room. I was half expecting it to be all tease, but nope, it goes hard on the porn side. Big asses, big tits, tiny shorts, way too much bending over. Cynthia shows up with that smug “I know you’re staring at my boobs” energy, and the game absolutely rewards you for being a thirsty idiot. You can wander around like a sandbox, poke into houses you clearly shouldn’t, get sidetracked by some milf asking for “help with her Pokémon” who definitely does not mean her Pokémon. At one point I was supposed to go beat a gym and instead spent 30 minutes trying to trigger a specific sex scene with Nessa because someone on a Reddit thread said it was animated differently on the second try. They were right, by the way. Worth it.

The pickup line stuff hit me harder than I expected. You actually choose dialogue in some scenes, and it feels like speed dating with cheat codes turned off. One option is polite, one is horny, one is just straight up degenerate. I tested them like a weirdo doing field research. On Telegram I even sent screenshots to a language exchange buddy asking “does this line sound like a real fuckboy?” He said yes and I felt strangely proud. Sometimes being bold pays off and Misty basically jumps your dick in the locker after a battle. Other times you try something dirty on Dawn, and she goes “wow, creepy” and the scene turns colder, you still get sex later, but the vibe is different, more rough, less cuddly. It actually teaches you something weird about tone, even if the game itself is mostly about shoving your cock into every trainer with a pulse. The monsters are just there like foreplay excuses, beat one, unlock a new way to rail someone. I wish there was an option to mute the moaning without muting sound effects, but the game doesn’t care what I want and honestly that fits. At one point I forgot the main quest completely and just walked in circles trying new lines on Cynthia to see which one made her blush the most. Felt like using OkCupid in a fantasy world where every match wants to fuck you five minutes after small talk. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Pokestars is basically what happens when someone looks at the old anime and goes, “yeah but what if they all wanted to fuck the trainer instead of chase badges,” and then actually commits to the bit. You’re this dude who somehow lands in this luxury pokemon training resort that’s less about ranked battles and more about which girl you’re making moan behind the stadium later. It’s played like one of those point and click dating sims where you bounce between locations on a map, poke on stuff, poke on girls, poke on buttons, in that order. May, Misty and Dawn are the main stars here, and they’re not subtle. First time you meet Misty she already has that “I’m gonna test you” energy, except it’s not a gym test, it’s whether you can keep up with her mouth while the battle scoreboard is still flickering in the background. It’s funny because the game pretends to care about rankings and resort rules, but after like ten minutes you’re mostly just planning who you’ll fuck in which corner of the map and if you can trigger another animated scene before clicking through the dialog you half read.

What I liked a lot is that it doesn’t waste too much time teasing without payoff. You win a fight? You’re not getting a high five; you’re getting on your knees or putting her on hers. There are full-on oral scenes where you literally watch her head move, with voice lines that are not studio-perfect, but that kinda makes it better, feels more like a weird fan project that got horny and never stopped. Vaginal scenes too, with those 3dcg bodies pressed together and enough motion to not feel static. Sometimes the moans don’t sync perfectly with the thrusts and it made me laugh, but I still didn’t skip it, so whatever. The resort itself works like a hub: pool, rooms, arenas, those spots you click just to see if someone’s there to jump your dick. You get some dating sim flavor on top of it all, little choices in dialog, giving attention to one girl over another, pretending you care about who has the strongest team when you’re actually just angling for a threesome later. There’s even this moment where Dawn corners you in a hallway after a match, her voice goes low and you can hear the slight echo like they actually thought about the room, and suddenly she’s on her back on a bench, panties around one ankle, you pushing in while she still has her gloves on. That kind of detail is the thing that keeps you clicking “next” even when a line of text is kinda cheesy.

The voiced parts are the big hook and also the thing that sometimes makes it feel janky in a good way. May has this cute, eager tone when she goes down on you, wet sounds and breath mixing, but then every once in a while a line sounds like it was recorded in another room or on a different mic. It pulled me out for half a second and then there’s a close-up of her lips sliding down your shaft and suddenly I don’t care anymore. Harem angle is strong too, not just one-on-one stuff. You get those scenes where two of them tag-team you, one sucking while the other rides, like a porn parody that forgot to blur anything. And the point and click side makes it feel a bit like a scavenger hunt for sex; “if I go to the resort hot springs at this time, will Misty be there? Will she be naked already? Can I trigger that one scene where she sits on my face first and then demands I pound her right after?” Sometimes the pacing drags and you’re just clicking through resort menus looking for the next bit of action instead of actually doing trainer things, but then the game throws another animated fuck sequence at you and your brain forgives it instantly. It’s not classy, it’s not subtle, it’s literally fan fantasy turned into a horny resort simulator, and yeah, it works.

Can’t lie, I clicked expecting another copy-paste anime mashup with the usual stiff models and dead-eyed moans, but this one hits different. There’s a sadness under all that skin, like someone coded their fantasies too carefully, you know? I found myself staring at Raven’s face - Batman’s Raven - and thinking, “she shouldn’t be looking at me like that,” while still dragging her into position anyway. Unreal how fast guilt turns into hunger when the animation breathes just right. And maybe it’s because of the Illusion engine doing its sneaky physics thing, or maybe because the transitions are almost clumsy, like real people fumbling with clothes and patience. It’s messy, which makes it hot.

The scenes jump from universes without pretending to make sense. One second I’m in some broken-down Capsule Corp lab, Bulma smirking like she *planned* to get caught; next, Yoruichi’s toes press against my chest, laughing, telling me to look up. I did. Of course I did. The voyeur mode feels wrong in the best possible way - it doesn’t even give you fake morality options, just lets you watch. But then again, maybe that’s lazy design. Or genius. Hard to tell when your brain’s half-melted. The weird part? The sound mix changes depending on position, so D.Va sounds distant if she turns away. I swear no one ever gets audio that intimate, not even those overpriced VR patches on Steam.

Anyway, I could say it’s perfect, but I won’t. Some things twitch too mechanically - the faces sometimes freeze mid-expression, like they remember they’re code. Yet that’s also the charm. You see the seams, and you keep touching them. Like rubbing a wound for pleasure. Half the cast shouldn’t exist in the same space - Orihime beside Tifa beside Samus - but here they crowd my screen like they’ve been waiting forever. Maybe that’s why it works: it’s absurd, obscene, familiar, and somehow lonelier than expected. I closed the browser and immediately reopened it. Couldn’t help it.

Imagine waking up and realizing every stupid horny joke you made about “yeah I’d totally smash that mon” actually became your new life. That is literally the whole vibe here, and somehow it works way better than it should. You are this reincarnated guy in a world that kind of looks like the usual pocket monster thing, except everyone around you is either stacked like a hentai doujin or has curves that make zero sense biologically. The game just shrugs and says “yeah, you’re here to fuck, not to ask questions,” and throws you at girls and monster girls like you’re some walking breeding item. One moment you’re pretending to be a serious trainer talking with Nemona about battles, next moment she’s grinding on you and asking if your “move” is super effective while she rides you raw and begs for a creampie like it’s part of the gym rules. It’s really dumb. I love it.

The best part for me is how it treats all the famous girls as if they’ve been waiting for you personally. Misty showing up all smug, doing that fake tsundere “I’m only doing this for training” while she’s on her knees, stroking your cock with both hands and licking the tip like she’s taste testing a potion. Marnie being all quiet but then suddenly sitting on your face, thighs trembling, whispering nasty stuff that would break canon so hard. Hilda teasing you nonstop, riding your lap and pushing her tits together for a slow titfuck, with this lazy smile like she knows you’ve memorized every frame already. Sonia pretending she cares about “research” while taking off her coat and letting her big ass bounce on your cock, all animated, soft jiggle, clapping sound in your headphones, you know the drill. The models actually look like twisted versions of their originals, not ugly knockoffs, which is rare in these parody things. And the monster girls… yeah. Gardevoir giving this gentle blowjob like she’s worshiping you, then pulling you deep inside her and asking you not to pull out. Mewscarada acting all smug, rubbing her pussy on your shaft first, like “prove you can handle me,” then moaning like crazy once you slam into her. Lopunny is just straight-up fetish fuel, there is no other way to describe it. The game knows exactly what it’s doing and doesn’t pretend otherwise.

What surprised me is how often I opened this on mobile “just to check something” and ended up stuck watching one animation ten times in a row like some idiot, because there is always one little movement I missed. Jessie’s blowjob scene where her lipstick smears a bit and she strokes you faster with that annoyed Team Rocket face? Peak. Nemona jerking you off while ranting about battle stats, using spit as lube and then suddenly pressing your dick between her tits like she remembered titfucks exist mid-scene. There is some actual voyeur stuff too, where you’re hiding behind bushes watching a milf trainer finger herself while her mon watches, and your stupid horny brain is like “okay but when is my turn,” and yes, of course the game gives you that. Sometimes the pacing is weird, like it jumps from teasing to full vaginal in one click and the dialogue barely catches up, but somehow that chaotic energy kinda fits. I had one moment where I was going through a “serious” talk with a character and I clicked the wrong option and suddenly she was on her knees giving me a handjob, zero lead-up, and I laughed so hard I had to pause the scene. But then I watched it twice anyway. The adventure stuff is just an excuse to move you from one girl or monster girl to the next, and honestly I stopped pretending it was about anything else after the first time I pumped a full load inside Sonia and she smiled like that was the secret objective all along.