Mystery Inc rolling up to some random Dutch castle already sounds cheap and horny, and this game doesn’t even pretend to be classy. Velma gets thrown right in as the brainy monster hunter who somehow keeps losing more clothes every time a “bizarre creature” jumps out. The tone is this messy mix of Saturday morning cartoon and late-night porn tab you forgot to close on Chrome. You’re clicking through these little scenes where she’s trying to “analyze” slime samples and weird footprints, but let’s be honest, the monsters are just lining up to fill her up. There’s a big focus on cumshots and creampies, and the game actually leans into it instead of cutting away. When one of those big ugly bastards finally pins Velma and she’s squirming in that half-ripped orange sweater, the camera just stays there on the moment it all spills deep inside her. No classy fadeout, no clever joke, just thick white mess and a nerd girl breathing hard like she’s trying to do math in her head and failing. It’s filthy in a very direct way that I weirdly liked. On my phone with Chrome and on Edge on my old laptop it ran the same, just occasional lag when the monster finishes and the white stuff keeps layering up. I actually thought my browser froze during one of the castle corridor scenes, but it was just the animation looping slightly awkward. Kind of charming, kind of annoying.

Daphne shows up as the redhead distraction, like usual, but they crank her into almost bimbo mode. Half the time she’s talking about “feeling a strange energy” and the other half she’s bending over for no reason at all while something with claws and glowing eyes watches from the shadows. There’s a funny bit where she’s trying to act like some pro monster slayer, but the “plan” is obviously just her getting grabbed and used. She gets those full-body shudders when a monster finishes inside her, and the game holds on her face when she realizes it’s not just on her skin, it’s dripping out of her. The pregnancy risk vibes are strong even though nothing is spelled out, especially with how the camera keeps going back to stretched, used holes and that slow leak of cum. It’s not subtle. I went in expecting more actual mystery, like some real Scooby Doo unmasking where the monster is an old dude in a suit, but nope, these are straight-up monsters who fuck, and everyone just kind of accepts it. It’s funny, because the story pretends to be serious, but the pacing is just sex scene, quick line of “investigation”, then more sex. Still, I liked how the castle itself feels like a horny maze of traps, ruined halls, and secret rooms where Velma is suddenly on her knees with a huge shadow over her. I kept wishing there was a proper build-up scene where they all sit in the van talking about their plan, but the game just throws you right into the cursed sex dungeon vibe and never really explains why these girls are this into monster cock. Or maybe it does and I just clicked too fast because the next creampie was loading. Either way, it sticks in your head like some weird wet dream you’re slightly embarrassed to remember later, when you open your browser history and see that dumb castle again.

Jill shows up here already in trouble, no setup, no long intro, just straight in the middle of a very bad day for her. She is chained up in that classic dirty lab / sewer mix that every Resident Evil fan kind of recognizes but also knows is totally wrong here. Official Jill is out there shooting zombies, this Jill is just trying not to break in half while some huge dripping monster is rearranging her insides. The game really doesn’t pretend to be anything else. You click those little white arrows at the bottom and it feels like you’re flipping through different “oh fuck” stages of her torture-session-turned-sex-scene. One second she is just getting pounded from behind, next arrow and suddenly the thing is deeper, rougher, more sloppy, and her face changes from “I can’t believe this” into this forced, shivering pleasure that she absolutely did not ask for. It’s that specific kind of fantasy where consent is not in the room at all, and the camera is way too close to ignore every detail: spit on her tongue, her boobs bouncing hard, that wet sound when the monster pulls out then slams back in.

I got stuck for a while just replaying one single loop where she’s pressed against the wall, arms pulled back, ass up, and the monster is just slamming into her at a stupid speed. There is this tiny moment where her eyes roll up and her mouth hangs open like she is about to scream, but what comes out feels more like a moan she is trying to swallow. It lasts maybe one second and it completely sells the whole “she hates this, her body doesn’t” vibe. Then you hit the arrow, and now he is stretching her even more, and you think “ok that has to be max” but no, another click and suddenly you’re watching her belly bulge slightly with each thrust. Honestly it is a bit too much sometimes, like the animators really wanted to show off how deep the monster is going, but after a while your brain stops complaining and just enjoys the filth. The only thing that annoyed me was how easy it is to miss one of the positions if you spam-click too fast; it jumps from “normal rough” to “absolutely destroying her” and then back, and you’re like, wait, where did that angle with her legs locked around his waist go. But then you see the final loops where she’s covered in sticky white mess, panting, body twitching, and you forget you were trying to be systematic at all. It feels less like a game and more like an interactive porn clip for people who grew up secretly staring at Jill’s original RE3 outfit and thinking, yeah, this needs a monster behind her.

Celica looks like one of those anime mages that would normally be a side character, but here she just owns the whole place and also somehow loses her clothes every five minutes. Town of Magic feels like someone mashed together a comfy little fantasy RPG and a horny fever dream, then forgot to add any shame. You wander around this cute pixel town, click on random stuff, poke your nose in places you probably shouldn’t, and the game basically answers: “oh, you wanted horny?” every second screen. It starts fairly soft, just teasing, some groping here and there, but the moment a slime girl or tentacle monster gets involved, things escalate so fast it’s almost funny. Half the time I was like “ok, this is too much” while also clicking the next scene instantly.

The mix of point & click wandering and turn-based fights is weird in a nice way. You’re chatting with girls at the inn, flirting with some suspiciously friendly witch, then suddenly you’re in a struggle where every failed move means Celica’s outfit gets shredded a bit more. It’s not just a simple game over either. Enemies grab her, pin her, clothes rip, the living outfit sometimes joins the fun instead of helping, and if you fuck up, you end up possessed or wrapped in things that have way too many tentacles. That combat struggle stuff is where the game actually feels kinkier than it has any right to, because it gives you this slow “oh shit, I’m losing control” vibe instead of just jump cutting to porn. One time I misclicked during a slime fight on my phone while half distracted with Spotify and suddenly Celica is swallowed from the waist down and the only thought in my head was “ok, this is absolutely someone’s favorite thing ever.” And then I replayed it on purpose, so, yeah.

The funniest part is how the town itself pretends everything is normal. You’re this female mage, constantly molested by monsters, half naked, maybe half possessed by some horny entity, and the NPC girls are still like “oh hey, wanna check the forest today?” as if tentacles aren’t a scheduled weather event. The yuri angle is all over the place, too. A lot of scenes are just girls with girls, or monsters that clearly “count as girls for the plot,” if you know what I mean. Some of the best bits are when another girl ends up tangled together with Celica, both of them getting pushed around by living clothes or slimy things, and you’re just sitting there thinking “ok, I did not plan for this combo, but I’m not complaining.” At the same time, yeah, sometimes events are too cryptic, like “walk here on this weird timing or no sexy scene for you,” and I caught myself alt-tabbing to Discord and grumbling while trying again. But when it actually clicks and you trigger a long animated scene where Celica is half fighting, half giving in, with her outfit slowly betraying her, it hits that very specific fantasy of being the cute mage who went out to grind XP and ended up getting thoroughly “grinded” instead. The game is rough in spots, like someone kept adding more and more kinks instead of polishing the old ones, yet that’s exactly why it feels kind of personal and stupidly charming. It’s messy, horny, lesbian as hell, full of monsters that want to grope you into submission, and the clothes are absolutely not on your side.

You drop into this thing as some rando mutant with a grab bag of superpowers and zero self-control, and the game basically asks, “ok, which X-babe are you corrupting first?” There’s no slow build, it just kind of throws you into the mansion vibe, with Kitty sneaking around walls, Rogue acting all “don’t touch me” and then totally letting you touch her anyway if you play your cards right, and Jean pretending she’s too important for your shit while clearly not being that strong against a bit of psychic teasing. It feels like a horny sandbox fanfic that someone made interactive after scrolling through way too many hentai tabs on Chrome. In a good way. Mostly.

The whole thing runs like a messy fantasy roleplay where you’re half student, half walking sex cheat code. One moment you’re in a “training session” with Storm, and she’s lecturing you about focus and discipline, then five dialogue clicks later she’s using lightning to pin you in place while she jerks you off slow, like she’s testing how long you can last under pressure. Kitty is peak brat energy: phasing in halfway through a scene, sitting on your lap like it’s nothing, then clipping out of your grip right when you’re about to blow, just to make you chase her through the mansion corridors. Sometimes the pacing is weird, like a scene looks like it’s building to a full-on threesome and suddenly you get kicked back to wandering around again. And the UI has this tiny button in the corner that you always forget, and it hides important stuff, and somehow that annoys more than it should.

There’s this “corruption” angle that sneaks up on you. At first you flirt, goof around, maybe get a handjob from Rogue while she struggles with her powers and gloves, and it feels kind of romantic in a fucked-up way. Then you realize you’ve slowly pushed her into public blowjob territory in the Danger Room while alarms flash red and robots spawn in the background. Jean starts as the classic redhead moral compass, but give her enough psychic pressure and she goes from lecture mode to “fine, I’ll sit on your face, but only to keep you quiet” in like three visits. Storm is accidentally the best milf in the game, all strict teacher energy with that calm, heavy-ass presence. Half the time I caught myself clicking through dialogue too fast, then going back like an idiot because the teasing lines actually carry the scenes. There are monster girls and weirder mutant stuff too, like the game forgot it was an X-Men parody and wandered into hentai swamp for a while, which honestly fits. Sometimes it feels like a horny fever dream cooked up on a broken phone during a commute, other times it hits that perfect sweet spot where you’re juggling a harem of big-titted superwomen and thinking “yeah, this is exactly the kind of trash my brain wanted today.”