Three words first: horny, awkward, fun.

The game feels like someone mashed together a dating sim, a quarantine sharehouse and those trashy hentai manhwas you read on the toilet, then said “ok, now make it about pickup lines and see how long the guy can pretend he’s faithful.” You play this dude stuck with a bunch of hot girls who all know exactly what they’re doing with their bodies, while he’s trying so hard to act like some “good boyfriend” scientist, like he’s doing research on female pleasure instead of just staring at their tits. The whole thing is basically one long speed-dating session where you never leave the table, except the table has a big ass milf leaning over it and a bratty school girl pressing her thigh against your leg while she laughs at your shitty flirty lines. The pickup system is where it’s funniest and most frustrating. Sometimes one dumb line like “your laugh is cute” suddenly turns into her grabbing your wrist, placing your hand on her thigh and whispering in your ear while you’re hard and sweating. Other times you try to be smooth, stack teasing options, and she just looks at you like you’re a pervert who can’t even spell “consent”, then still ends up jerking you off five clicks later after some fake moral struggle. It reminds me of using Tinder then accidentally opening Hinge on horny mode.

There’s a lot of sandbox wandering where you’re just checking rooms, poking your nose where it doesn’t belong, “observing” them like some half-assed psychologist. You talk about relationships, then suddenly her cleavage is right in your face, animated and jiggly, and the voice acting goes from casual to this breathy “do you like that?” that sounds way too real for a mobile game. One moment you’re in a school-ish setting, pretending to learn how to “communicate better with women”, next moment she’s on her knees, drool on your shaft, giving this sloppy oral that makes you forget which dialogue choice even got you here. There’s titfucks that feel like a reward for picking the more playful options, and if you push a bit further and pick the more dominant answers, some scenes flip on you and the girl starts controlling everything, pinning you down, hand around your dick, strokes just slow enough to drive you insane while she talks about her boyfriend like you’re just a practice toy. The anal and more rough stuff doesn’t explode in your face right away, it creeps in through dirty jokes and “accidental” touches, and when it finally happens the game kind of shrugs like “yeah, you knew this was coming.” Speaking of coming, masturbation scenes feel personal, like when you fail a pickup line and the MC ends alone, jerking off on his phone while remembering how her ass looked pressed against his crotch earlier, with her voice echoing in his head. That part hit a bit too close to my Pornhub history, not gonna lie. There are a few moments where the pacing dies, you’re stuck clicking through teasing without payoff, like you’re in an endless edging loop designed by a sadist, and there’s one notification sound that kept popping up on my phone and I hated it, never turned it off, no idea why. Still, when a milf with big tits, soft voice and that smug “I know you’re hard” grin orders you to sit, unzip and let her “teach” you how to please a woman with your hands while she rides your fingers and strokes you at the same time, all that slow grind suddenly makes sense, then stops making sense again right after you cum and start overthinking your next line.

Tali is absolutely not the shy little quarian tech nerd people remember from the original games. Here she’s more like the center of a very rude quiz show where every question is “How far are you willing to go this time?” and the answer keeps getting filthier. The story picks up after she escapes this messed up ghost ship, and instead of going back to anything safe, she ends up bouncing around space with a bunch of “friends” who have very specific ideas about what to do with her suit, her body, and her obedience. One moment you’re in a legit combat scene, trying to manage shields and positioning, and the next moment losing a fight means Tali is on her knees, visor fogged, being used like a trophy by whatever monster just wrecked you. And yeah, the camera really loves her ass. Whoever built those shots deserves an award. Maybe “Excessive Focus On Tali’s Butt” gold medal.

The game kind of feels like a horny Mass Effect quiz where every choice is secretly: a) blowjob, b) anal, c) corruption, d) all of the above. You run around in this sandbox structure, poke different parts of the ship or station, and suddenly you’re in some awkward scene with Liara teasing her while EDI throws dry comments in the background like she’s hosting a porn podcast. One of my favorite dumb moments: I was half-tabbing out to check Discord, left a teasing scene running with Tali “practicing” oral on some alien cock, came back and she had switched positions and was riding instead because I let the idle animation chain continue. No tooltip, no pop up, just “you ignored the scene, now she’s even more corrupted, congrats.” It’s janky in spots, the animations sometimes loop too obviously, and Kasumi just kind of appears, steals the spotlight with a handjob scene, then vanishes again like a horny ninja. Never explained properly, and the game just shrugs and moves on.

What’s nice is how it leans fully into parody without being shy about anything. Miranda’s big tits are used exactly how you think, Ashley is still an uptight soldier but now her idea of discipline is getting Tali to “follow orders” with vaginal and anal rewards, and somewhere in the middle Shepard is there, but half of the time feels like a side character in his own porn. The corruption aspect creeps up on you in a stupidly fun way: early Tali is awkward, blushing, touching herself alone in a quiet room, just masturbation and a bit of teasing. A few bad fights lost, some “training” with Shiala and Samara, one very wrong encounter with a slime-like monster, and suddenly she’s the one grabbing cocks first, begging for more, suit open in places you’re pretty sure are not Alliance regulation. It’s dirty, it’s uneven, it repeats a couple of angles too much, and the UI sometimes hides a choice you swear should be there. But when she bends over in zero-g and the whole scene turns into this slow, weightless anal fuck with her gasping inside the helmet, you kind of forget what you were annoyed about. Or what you were doing before the scene started. Or why Jira is still open in another tab.

This one feels like reading someone’s old chat logs that you were never supposed to see, but the window is stuck open and you just… keep scrolling. You play as this guy who meets again with a childhood friend, and right away you feel that awkward mix of nostalgia and “fuck, I used to jerk off thinking about her.” It’s not some big heroic setup, it’s more like you walk into a familiar room and everything’s been moved around, including her. She’s older, softer in the right places, that kind of lazy MILF hotness where she doesn’t even need to try. The game doesn’t spend an eternity on exposition, which I actually liked. There’s this quiet tension where your brain is already filling in the gaps: the afternoons you had together, the stupid inside jokes, all that “we almost kissed once” energy sitting there like a loaded gun.

The kinetic format helps the pace a lot. You’re not pausing every two minutes to pick some fake deep choice; it just drags you along the way a bad memory does. There’s a really nasty pleasure in how the scenes are framed. You keep noticing hands, lips, little motions. Her sitting too close on the couch, the way she looks over her shoulder when she knows you’re staring at her ass, how her tongue looks when she laughs. Then it slides into the sexual stuff in that very “oh shit this is actually happening” way. The oral and hand stuff is detailed enough that you can almost hear it in your head, but it never becomes cartoonish. She uses her mouth like she’s done this a lot and stopped being shy about it years ago. At the same time, you get those ugly flashes of jealousy, because it’s clear she didn’t stay frozen in time waiting for you. The NTR angle hits more in the gut than in the dick sometimes. That sick feeling when you realize she talks about another man with the same familiar smile she used to have just for you, while still stroking you off, like your cock is just one more thing she can multitask.

The voyeur elements are what actually made it stick in my brain more than the sex itself. Half the time you’re not even “participating,” you’re watching, listening, overhearing. The game likes to put you behind half-open doors and on the wrong side of the bed, where you can see everything but can’t change anything. Some scenes feel like that shitty habit of stalking an ex on Instagram and then clicking too far back. The visuals lean into that: angles where you’re not the main focus, you’re just the guy in the corner staring, maybe useful, maybe not. There is one thing that annoyed me, the way a really important emotional beat just kind of passes in two lines and then the story runs straight to the next blowjob like it’s late for work, but I guess that rushed feeling kind of matches the whole “you lost her a long time ago, idiot” vibe. Anyway, if you really want to squeeze everything out of it, don’t skip past the slower parts. Let yourself sit in the discomfort, in the little looks and small humiliations. The cum scenes hit harder when you’ve let the resentment simmer first.

Rob’s whole life is kinda fucked from the start, which is honestly the best thing about this game. He’s this broke college dude nobody in his family really gives a shit about, except when they need him out of the way. Parents emotionally ghosted him, all the attention is on the sister, and he’s just drifting. It’s not tragic in that sad indie movie way, though, it’s more like: “yeah, life dumped on him… now watch what he does with it.” The moment he walks into that poker game, you already feel this quiet “oh, something’s about to go off the rails.” And it does. Hard. The dev doesn’t waste time with fake tension. One stupid decision, one risky hand, and suddenly Rob’s sex life goes from zero to “how the hell is this still legal” pretty fast.

The girls don’t fall in his lap for free, which I liked and also hated. You’ve got to push through all this awkward tension, family drama, bad choices, little moral lines getting crossed, and it builds up the horny in a slow burn that sometimes actually pays off. When a scene finally opens up and you get Rob going from shy loser to grabbing a girl by the hips, tongue deep in her while she’s pinned against something, it hits stronger because you remember where he started. The game loves messy faces and stupidly expressive eyes, those over-the-top ahegao looks that would be cringe in theory but here they kind of fit the whole “world gone wrong” vibe. The animations don’t try to be Hollywood smooth, they just focus on what matters: thrusts that look like they actually have weight, lips wrapping around him in a way that feels wet and a bit too detailed, that tiny pause right before he pushes all the way in and she twitches. Sometimes the angles are weird for no reason, like the camera is horny and confused, and I respect that.

What really hooked me was when the story stops pretending Rob is some innocent victim and starts treating him like a guy who’s totally fine fucking his way through every problem. You can feel this tiny power fantasy bloom: he starts talking with a bit more bite, standing closer, saying shit he wouldn’t dare say before. One scene he’s getting ridden lazy and slow, almost sweet, then later he’s practically using a girl like a toy, mouth full, eyes rolled, and the audio really sells it. Moans hit that not-quite-voice-acted but not cheap either zone, wet sounds are aggressive in your headphones, and the little gasps when he speeds up are filthy in a good way. I had Spotify running in the background at one point, a chill playlist, and it actually worked way too well with a bathroom quickie scene, so now my “focus” mix is ruined forever. If you jump in, best way to enjoy it is to lean into Rob being a bit of an asshole, take risks at the poker table, follow the situations that feel wrong but hot, and don’t rush-click through the build up, or you’ll miss half the fun that makes the cumshots feel earned instead of just another loop.