This Resident Evil parody throws you straight into Lady Dimitrescu's castle, and honestly? The devs knew exactly what they were doing. You're playing some poor bastard who's gotta survive Alcina's "trial" - which basically means getting dominated by a nine-foot vampire mommy and her equally stacked daughters. The turn-based combat system feels clunky at first, like they copy-pasted it from some RPG maker tutorial, but once you realize the real gameplay is about managing your stamina while getting your face buried in supernatural cleavage, it starts making sense. There's this one scene where Dimitrescu pins you against the wall and the camera angle is just... chef's kiss. The 3DCG models look decent enough, though Lady D's proportions are so exaggerated she looks like she'd topple over in real life.

Combat encounters blend into these weird BDSM scenarios where losing actually feels like winning. You'll find yourself deliberately failing just to see what creative punishment awaits. The spanking animations have more effort put into them than the actual sword fighting mechanics, which tells you where the priorities were. Sandbox elements let you explore the castle freely, groping your way through dark corridors while avoiding or seeking out the various monster girls lurking around. Some of the dialogue during sex scenes made me laugh out loud - not sure if that was intentional. The ahegao faces during climax moments are over-the-top ridiculous but somehow work within this campy horror-porn aesthetic.

What really caught me off guard was how they handled the size difference fetish stuff. Tall vs short dynamics play out in every interaction, from handjobs where your character can barely reach to titfuck scenes that look physically impossible. The harem aspect kicks in later when you're juggling multiple supernatural ladies, each with their own domination preferences. Voice acting ranges from surprisingly good to hilariously bad, but the moaning sounds authentic enough. Fair warning though - the grinding gets repetitive and some animations loop awkwardly.

It’s weird how something that starts like a cheap parody ends up crawling under your skin, both in the horny way and the “what the hell is happening” way. The club looks like it was built by someone who never actually went to one - neon lights too bright, music looping like a fever dream, and those animatronic girls that move just a little too human when they think you’re not watching. You’re supposed to be fixing stuff, right? Checking circuits, running diagnostics, pretending you’re not staring at the tiger girl’s hips when she bends over the stage railing. Aurora purrs when you talk to her, but it’s not cute - it’s low, like she’s tasting your fear. Or maybe your sweat. I can’t tell anymore.

There’s this rhythm to the nights, like foreplay stretched across fourteen shifts. You start thinking you’re in control, pressing buttons, locking doors, teasing them with the intercom. Then one of them whispers your name through the static and suddenly you’re the one being toyed with. The bird one - Chi, I think - has this glitch where her voice doubles, and it sounds like two women moaning out of sync. It’s messed up and hot and wrong in all the right ways. Sometimes the game throws a jump scare right after a sexy scene, and it’s like your body doesn’t know whether to flinch or cum. I hate that it works.

And yeah, the humor’s filthy. It knows exactly what it’s parodying, and it doesn’t care if you get the joke or not. Half the time I laughed, half the time I felt like I needed a shower. The writing’s uneven, but maybe that’s the charm - it feels like a drunk confession typed at 3% battery. There’s a story somewhere under the tits and terror, something about prototypes and control, but honestly, I stopped trying to separate the plot from the arousal. It’s all tangled together, like wires and sweat and fur.

Keigo feels like that dude who peaked in high school but actually never even peaked, just failed quietly and then left town. Now he drags his ass back, broke, horny, and still kinda pathetic, crashing at Ichigo’s place like some NPC side character who accidentally got promoted to main character. Ichigo’s still Ichigo, of course, walking cheat code for popularity, swords, and women, and somehow he’s married to Orihime now. And she’s exactly what all those old Bleach fanarts promised, just turned up to shameless hentai levels: giant soft tits that bounce a little too perfectly when she laughs, thighs that don’t even pretend to fit normal clothes, that smile that looks innocent until the camera angle proves it isn’t. The game knows why you clicked. It doesn’t pretend otherwise for even half a second.

What I liked is how the whole thing feels wrong in a very specific way. You’re in Ichigo’s tiny place, pretending to look for a job on your cracked phone, scrolling fake job posts like it’s LinkedIn hell, while Orihime leans over the couch in those shorts that absolutely do not count as shorts, asking if you want more tea, and you’re trying to not stare at her ass and failing completely. The mobile UI actually fits the vibe here: it feels like you’re sneaking porn in a WhatsApp group while sitting at a family dinner you weren’t invited to. Keigo tries to act like a good guest, but the game keeps throwing you small choices that slide from “just chat” into “ok, that was not friendly anymore” and then into “yeah, Ichigo would definitely punch you for this.” You start with mild flirting, then accidental boob touch that is obviously not an accident, then late night scenes in the hallway where she whispers too close, breathing on your neck, pretending she’s worried about you when her nipples are poking right through her shirt. It goes from soft corruption into full-on “I want you to fuck me while my husband is in the other room” without ever doing that big dramatic turn, it just slowly rots. Like mold on bread, sexy mold.

Sex scenes themselves are exactly what you expect and then a bit worse in the best way. Orihime rides you with those massive tits clapping in your face, eyes glazed, sucking her finger, begging you not to cum inside her, and of course the only button you actually notice is the one that makes you drain every drop in her anyway. Animated loops focus on the important stuff: her ass slamming down on your cock while you watch the ring of white around the base grow thicker, the way her belly jiggles when you push her legs up and fuck her hard, the little moment she presses a hand to her womb like she can feel you filling her. There’s a scene where Ichigo’s in the shower, humming like some idiot protagonist, and you’re behind Orihime on the kitchen table, her hair spread, creampie dripping out while she clenches around you trying not to moan too loud. The guilt is there for Keigo, kind of, but the game doesn’t pretend he’s a good guy. Which is nice. He’s just a horny loser finally getting the girl he always watched from the corner, and he ruins everything with a smile.

Weird thing that bugged me way too much: that one text notification sound they use keeps popping up in the middle of the hottest scenes, and it sounds exactly like a Telegram ping, so I kept pausing thinking someone actually messaged me. Completely yanked me out of a creampie once, I’m still annoyed about that. Also, sometimes the writing swings between decently hot dirty talk and those awkward lines like “I feel your naughty rod deep inside my womanhood” and it’s hilarious in the middle of all the moaning. But then Orihime throws her head back, calls you by name, and begs for more like she’s never been properly fucked before, and suddenly the cheesy lines don’t matter. It feels like some degenerate Bleach doujin that escaped from 2010, grabbed your phone, and decided Keigo finally deserves his turn to be scum. Honestly, he doesn’t, which is why it works.

Fantasy Harem: Heroine Backdoor is basically that horny crossover brain-mash you get when you scroll too long on Gelbooru, fall asleep, and wake up thinking, “Wait, did I just see that heroine on her knees, wearing cat ears and deepthroating an orc?” The game just goes “yes, you did” and then pushes it further. You play some generic guy, but that actually works here, because the point isn’t you, it’s the parade of fantasy girls orbiting around your cock like it’s a sacred relic. You hop between scenes where one minute you’re balls-deep in an elf virgin who pretends she’s too pure for anal, and the next a monster girl is riding you so hard the screen looks like it wants a cigarette. It has that sandbox vibe where you just poke around, click shit, and suddenly your “favorite heroine” is in a cosplay maid outfit, swallowing a messy creampie after a sloppy blowjob. Half the time it feels like fanfiction written by someone who failed grammar class but understood porn on a spiritual level. Which is a compliment, somehow.

The horny creativity is actually where it shines. Instead of just “heroine but naked,” it plays with costumes and cosplay in dumb but fun ways. I had one scene where a tough warrior girl shows up in this super skimpy armor that absolutely doesn’t protect anything, starts bragging how no man has ever made her submit, and five clicks later she’s drooling on my dick and begging to get filled in both holes. The animation is not perfect, some loops look like the girl is teleporting her hips instead of moving them, but the dirty energy is there. Oral feels wet, anal looks uncomfortably tight in a good way, and those big asses actually jiggle a bit when you pound them from behind. I did get a little annoyed by how often it jumps from vaginal to creampie like it’s a speedrun category, with barely a build up. One moment you’re just thrusting, next moment he’s dumping it all inside and the scene is already wrapping up, like “ok next girl, chop chop.” Also the interracial angle is there, but it’s more “here’s a different skin tone and some fantasy race” than anything really deep or political, which is fine, but don’t expect some big take, it’s just there so you can nut to variety.

What I liked a lot is how it treats the harem thing as chaos, not romance. The girls are jealous, horny, sometimes kind of stupid, and the game doesn’t even try to pretend you’re a good guy. You’re just the dick in the middle and they orbit you like horny planets, and the story occasionally remembers to exist just so it has an excuse to throw another heroine in your lap. One monster girl scene went from “I will eat you, human” to “please fuck my ass too” in like three lines, which made me laugh more than it should. Virgin tags are used in that very porn way where she “never did it before” yet somehow takes the whole length with some light whining and then suddenly loves it. If you’re the type who pauses Pornhub just to stare at how the cum leaks out after a creampie, you’ll probably enjoy how often the camera here goes right between the thighs and just stays there while it drips. It’s messy, dumb, horny, kinda trashy, and feels like it was made by someone who lives on Pixiv and hates subtlety. Honestly, that might be the charm.