So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

Sara’s the kind of woman you’ve seen a thousand times in real life and basically never in porn games: 35, office drone, tired face, very nice tits hiding under boring blouses, and this permanent “I should do something with my life” vibe. The game takes that mood and just pokes it again and again. It doesn’t try to be smart or deep, it’s honestly pretty dumb and repetitive, but in that way where your brain turns off and your dick kinda takes the wheel. You click through her days at work, come home with her, watch her slowly stop giving a shit about being “proper” and start letting herself get used like a toy. There’s this weird charm in how basic it is. No big story arcs, no dramatic choices, just small steps: a little flirting, a blowjob in a place that really shouldn’t have a blowjob, taking rough anal from a guy that clearly doesn’t even know her last name, things like that. It feels like she slides from “bored office milf” to “I’ll do anything if it makes me feel alive and full” in tiny, dirty increments.

The sex itself hits all the obvious stuff, but it hits it pretty hard. She’s got big boobs, big ass, proper porn body, and the guys are walking clichés with thick cocks and a lot of stamina, which is funny because Sara looks like someone who should be sending spreadsheet emails, not choking on an interracial monster dick behind the office building. Some scenes feel almost like a porn simulator: you’re not doing complicated choices, you’re just guiding what hole gets used and for how long, watching her swap between oral, vaginal, anal like it’s just another boring task on her to-do list, except she’s moaning and drooling instead of typing. I liked how her face sometimes has this “how did I end up here” look even while she’s getting pounded, it makes the male domination angle feel less cartoon villain and more like she just stopped resisting because getting fucked stupid is easier than thinking about Monday meetings. The “real model” vibe helps a lot too, she doesn’t look like a plastic anime doll, more like that blonde from your HR department if she suddenly started letting huge cocks rearrange her. It’s crude, a bit lazy, honestly kind of trashy, and still weirdly hot. You’ll click, jerk, complain about the repetition, then click again anyway, because watching a bored 35-year-old office worker slowly turn her whole life into one big porn loop scratches some very specific, very filthy itch.