Life kicks you in the balls, spits on you a little, then sends you back to your crappy small town with a useless degree and zero plan. That’s where you start here. No epic hero, no chosen one, just a tired guy with no job, cold looks from the people who took him in, and the constant feeling that life is already over before it even got good. Then she shows up. Not in some cute “anime girl trips into your lap” way either. More like “horns, claws, way-too-sultry voice, and eyes that know exactly how much of a loser you are” kind of entrance. She calls herself a goddess. She looks like something your priest would have a stroke over. And she wants you. Not for your charm. For a deal. Your body, your sins, your help… in exchange for a life where you actually get to fuck your way through power, revenge, and very, very unholy romance.

The setup feels like some messed up dating sim smashed into a fantasy cult story. You go from sleeping in a room that smells like old socks to getting pulled into a world where nuns are not exactly pure, monster girls want more than a cuddle, and faith is something moaned, not whispered. You’re free to wander around, poke your nose where it shouldn’t be, slide into people’s lives, then into their beds. One route you’re sweet-talking a strict religious milf who thinks she can “save” you, next moment you’re on your knees between her thighs, hands buried in her big ass while she forgets all about God. Another time you’re dealing with a smug futa with a holy symbol on her chest and a very unholy problem in her pants, watching her ahegao while you stroke her off, half guilty, half addicted. Sometimes it’s soft, like kissing a shy monster girl under the moon, her tentacles wrapping around your legs while she gives you a slow, sloppy blowjob that feels like it takes ages. Sometimes it’s five bodies tangled at once, tits pressed together, tongues crossing, your cock sliding between big breasts while someone else sucks on your toes and another girl rides your face. It jumps from romance to filth so fast your brain just kind of gives up and enjoys the ride.

What makes it fun is how messy it feels. You’re not some confident porn hero. You’re awkward, you say the wrong shit, you pick a choice because you’re horny and suddenly you’re in a threesome you absolutely were not ready for. One moment you’re holding a girl’s hand, promising her something sweet, and the next you’re pinned to an altar with her and her “sister” grinding on you, swapping spit over your mouth, both of them moaning your name like it’s a prayer. There’s lesbian stuff all over the place too, like you walk in on two monster girls going down on each other and instead of the usual “oh no, I’m sorry,” you just quietly sit, watch, and the game lets it play out, full animated tongues and all. Interracial, milfs, futas, holy girls, monster cuties, mobile-friendly enough that you can sneak a quick footjob scene on your phone while pretending to scroll Instagram. Sometimes the pacing is weird and scenes hit you out of nowhere, like you were just trying to grind a bit and suddenly a nun is sucking you off behind the church, drool dripping down your shaft, eyes rolled up like a possessed angel. But honestly, that chaos fits the whole “sold your soul to a horny goddess with an agenda” vibe. It feels less like a clean porn catalog and more like your life went off the rails and landed right in a pile of tits, tentacles, and very bad decisions that feel really, really good.

This one hits different because the main guy is supposed to be a clown, but he literally can’t lie. Not even a tiny white one. So you’re walking around this fucked up city that worships fake smiles and cheap jokes, and every time you open your mouth, you just drop brutal honesty like a sledgehammer. People ask if their ass looks big and he’s like, “Yeah, it does, and it’s distracting in a good way,” and suddenly the whole scene goes sideways. The comedy isn’t just there for memes, it actually drives the porn. Half the lewd moments start because you said something too real, too sharp, and someone decides to punish you or reward you for it. It’s like watching a stand-up show that slowly mutates into a hentai, but the punchlines are basically social suicide. You’ve got this harem orbit forming around a dude who’s bad at pretending, which is kind of hilarious because every other game in this genre is about smooth talk and here you’re just blurting out the raw shit no normal person would admit.

The women are ridiculous in the best, trashy way. Big tits that look like they’re about to punch gravity in the face, asses so huge you start wondering about back pain, monster girls that belong in someone’s cursed browser history. There’s this one monster girl scene where she asks if you’re scared of her claws and instead of doing the usual “wow you’re so beautiful” routine, he tells her she looks like a horny nightmare from a hentai subreddit. She goes quiet for a second, blushes, then climbs on top of him with this “oh, you think that’s scary?” vibe and suddenly you’re watching her ride him like she’s trying to erase reality. Simple choices like “tell the nice lie” or “tell the ugly truth” keep turning into either humiliation, rough affection, or masturbation scenes where he’s just furiously jerking off while overthinking everything he said that day. I actually hated how often the game makes you click through his internal monologue in those jerk-off scenes, but then I kinda liked it because it feels like watching a clown take the makeup off while still stroking his dick. The pacing’s weird too, like eating a cake that keeps switching between chocolate and chili without warning, but when it hits a good stretch of comedy with sex right behind it, it absolutely works. Some of the parody gags feel like they’re trying too hard, like that one bit that’s clearly riffing on superhero movies and drags a little, yet a few minutes later there’s a romance moment where a girl with a massive ass sits on his lap, asks him what he really thinks of her, and you pick the blunt answer. She stares, cheeks go red, then quietly grinds on him until you both forget there was ever a joke in the scene to begin with.

There is this cat girl in college who honestly feels like she’s born under some weird star. You start with her just trying to be normal student, go to lectures, maybe pass exams, but very fast it turns into “how horny can internet be today” situation. Instacat is everywhere here, it feels like that cursed app on your phone that you know is bad for mental health but still open every five minutes. Every choice you make for her, you feel this mix of “I want her to find true love” and “yeah ok post that thirsty selfie in the dorm bathroom with the towel almost falling off.” The game lets you lean into both. One moment she’s shy, ears low, tail nervous, trying to talk to that one cute classmate in the cafeteria. Next moment she’s grinding in some party, her crop top sliding up, nipples kinda poking through, everyone filming, and you are staring at the option like: do I lean into the scandal, or save her reputation a bit. I told myself I’d protect her. I did not protect her at all.

What I really liked is how small choices snowball into horny chaos. You say yes to a “study session” with this flirty cheerleader cat girl and then suddenly you have her on your lap, licking your neck, purring in your ear, hands creeping inside your shorts, while textbooks are just sitting there like decoration. Then you later see the Instacat story of that night and realize some other character saw it too, and future scenes change, more jealous text messages, more late night calls, more “come to my room, we need to talk” that never stays only talking. There are proper sweet moments hidden inside all the filth, like when you comfort another girl who crashed hard from a scandal, hugging in her dorm bed, tail wrapping your waist, kiss starting soft then turning into that slow, breathy grind under the sheets, underwear pushed aside, bodies very close and sticky, with this feeling like you are not just hooking up, you are choosing her. It feels fated sometimes, like “ok, this route is the one the universe wanted” even if you arrived there by being a total horny disaster. The game makes you laugh at stupid memes, then two clicks later you’re watching your cat girl ride someone on a desk in an empty classroom, skirt bunched at her hips, claws digging into shoulders, moaning loud enough that if destiny is real, it is definitely a pervert.

Empire of Heroes looks like somebody smashed Pornhub, a Marvel fanfic subreddit and a horny DeviantArt gallery into one long fever dream, then forgot to hire an editor. You start as this dude who is technically a “hero,” but honestly he feels more like a guy who spends half his time saving the city and the other half trying not to stare at boobs that look like they could file for citizenship on their own. The world is packed with powered people, but almost everyone you actually talk to either wants to punch you, ride you, or both in some weird order. One second you’re in a rooftop fight where your power is going off like a bugged-out Discord notification, next second you’re flirting with a girl whose costume has less fabric than my old gym socks. The mood keeps jumping from dramatic comic-book speech to “fuck me on this couch before the villain shows up,” which sounds bad, but somehow it kind of works, like watching The Boys on mute with Pornhub audio in the background.

The big charm is how dirty and stupidly playful it gets without pretending to be classy. There’s this scene where you rescue a heroine who’s supposed to be this serious, veteran type, and ten lines later she’s teasing you about how “stress relief” is part of a hero’s duty while she grinds on your lap in a torn suit. The camera is obsessed with asses, not gonna lie. Every time a woman turns around the angle zooms like it was made by a guy who grew up pausing Netflix to stare. Some choices matter too: if you act like a cocky bastard, some girls actually like it and push back, if you try to be “good guy” hero, you still end up with your face between huge tits half the time. Fights are there mostly to justify why everyone is half naked afterward, covered in dust and barely holding their tops together. It’s less “tactical combat” and more “foreplay with punching.” At one point I paused my Spotify because the sex scene was actually hotter than the porn I had open in another tab, which is a weird moment of self awareness.

What kills me is how the story pretends to be super serious with mystery and conspiracies, then throws in a joke about hentai or some meme-tier line like “this is not even my final form” during a boss fight, then five minutes later you’re balls deep in a villain girl with glowing eyes and a laugh that should not be turning me on. The humor is very internet: horny, dumb, sometimes cringe, occasionally perfect. They drop little in-jokes about OnlyFans, Twitter cancel mobs, even some cheap shot about people who still use Facebook, and all of that is happening while your character is trying not to explode in a woman with thighs like a Marvel budget. Not everything hits; some scenes drag, there are times where two girls argue like a bad CW show and you just want them to shut up and start making out already. The pacing is a mess, like eating a full pizza and then suddenly someone throws a cake at your face, but when the game leans fully into “superhero soap opera where everyone is horny and slightly unhinged,” it kind of nails exactly that trashy, late-night energy that makes you think “ok, one more scene” and then you realize your right hand hurts more than your mouse.