It’s weird how this game feels both filthy and kinda wholesome at the same time. Like, you’re just a farmer, right? Doing your chores, minding your crops, and suddenly there’s this pig-girl princess showing up in your barn acting like she owns the place. She’s spoiled as hell but somehow adorable, rolling her eyes while asking you to “show her how humans do it.” The writing doesn’t even pretend to be subtle - one second you’re talking about feeding pigs, next thing you’re milking something that definitely isn’t a cow. The transitions are janky in a funny way, like the devs knew exactly what they were doing and didn’t care if it made sense. Honestly, I respect that kind of chaos.

The humor hits that perfect spot between dumb and clever. There’s a scene where the royal advisor tries to lecture you about “proper conduct with livestock” while you’re literally hiding behind hay bales with the princess moaning your name. It’s stupidly hot and stupidly funny. And the futa twist? Didn’t see that coming (pun totally intended). The first time it happens, you just stare for a second like - wait, did that just grow? But it works because the tone never shifts into serious mode; it stays playful, teasing, constantly flirting with absurdity. There’s even a lactation gag that somehow turns into a group scene, and by then you’ve stopped questioning logic entirely. You just go with it.

I kinda wish the farmer had more dialogue options though; sometimes he just grunts or blushes when you want him to say something dirtier. But maybe that’s part of the charm - you project your own filth onto him. The art style’s got that soft, round look that makes everything feel warm even when it’s absolute debauchery. And yeah, I laughed out loud when the princess called herself “royal pork” mid-handjob. Who writes that? Whoever they are, they get it. It’s horny, messy, self-aware, and doesn’t apologize for any of it.

Apartment 69 feels like someone looked at every degenerate fantasy you had in college and said “yeah, that, but more awkward and more naked”. You’re this 20 year old programmer kid who somehow can afford his own place, and the game treats that apartment like a horny gravity well. Everyone important just keeps getting pulled into it. Family shows up, classmates show up, neighbors that clearly skipped the “boundaries” class show up. It starts pretty innocent, like simple errands and casual chats, and then slowly you’re rubbing against people in tight hallways, “accidentally” walking in during showers, and pretending you’re shocked while the camera zooms straight onto bouncing tits. The corruption vibe here isn’t instant; characters go from normal to “ok fine you can touch me there” to “why am I moaning this much” in a very porn logic way. If you like that slow slide instead of instant sluts, it kind of nails it. If you actually went to college, some of the school scenes are a bit too accurate, just with way more handjobs under the desk.

From Unreal side, I keep catching myself switching between horny and nerdy. The lighting on skin is surprisingly good, especially in darker rooms where the only source is a TV screen or some crappy lamp in the corner. The models are thick in that “this rig has been tweaked for hours” way, not generic store stuff. You notice it in the way breasts settle when characters lean forward, or how the ass pushes against tight shorts when your MC is very obviously staring. It is not perfect though. Sometimes the facial expressions go weird, like you’re talking about homework but she’s making a face like she just got creampied on the roof. Mouths clip now and then, the trans character’s shoulders look a bit off from some angles, and a couple of animation loops feel like someone rushed through them at 4% brain power. I had one scene where a hot milf is supposed to look mad, but she just looks kind of horny and constipated. Still, when the sandbox opens up and you’re bouncing between the apartment and school and back, asking yourself “do I grind affection or do I go straight for more groping in the kitchen?”, the small jank turns almost funny. Like, you’re lining up a serious emotional talk and the game just throws a titty physics moment in your face and your brain forgets the plot.

Sex content hits fast after you get past the intro routine. You start with small stuff like “accidental” touches, helping someone with sunscreen for way too long, or waking up with a hand in your pants and pretending you’re still asleep. Then it goes hard into masturbation scenes, spying on people from doors that are never locked, and those drawn out “teach me how to stroke it properly” handjob bits that feel like they were made by someone who spent too much time on old xHamster clips. When the interracial scenes start showing and the family drama gets nastier, you can really feel the corruption layers piling up, especially when a girl that acted shy two events ago is suddenly riding you and begging to get filled. There is one moment with a virgin character where the game takes its time on the first penetration, camera pressed close, breathing heavy, small twitch in her legs, and it’s honestly way hotter than some of the full-on gangbang scenes in other games. Also, the shemale route is not just a cheap extra. There is build up, flirty text chats, some real tension in the bathroom encounters, and then you end up staring at a hard dick and big tits at the same time and thinking “ok, I did not plan this, but here we are”. Only thing that annoyed me: one UI button in the apartment hub is tiny as fuck and I kept misclicking it like a clown. Never got used to it.