Public transport wifi is trash, Pornhub keeps buffering, so I ended up poking around this thing instead, and somehow it ate my whole commute before I even noticed. The idea is simple as fuck: you sit in this sleazy casting couch office, you’re the “professional interviewer” with a dick that thinks it’s the main character, and all these famous anime waifus walk in like they answered a shady Craigslist ad. It looks like one of those mobile VN ports you’d secretly tap through on the toilet at work, but it runs smooth in browser and doesn’t pretend to be more serious than it is. Girl shows up, you pretend to ask a few questions, then it turns straight into “how deep can she take it” faster than Instagram shows you an ad after you talk about shoes once.

The fun is how wrong it feels to see characters like Tifa or Asuna trying to play “shy actress” for two lines, then suddenly they’re on their knees, lipstick smeared, eyes rolled up in that full-on ahegao, spitting drool down your shaft while the MC keeps talking like this is some normal HR interview. One minute Kobayashi is awkward and stiff, sitting proper, skirt straight, asking if this is really “just a simple audition.” Next click, she’s bent over the arm of the couch, fat ass bouncing on your cock, glasses crooked, trying to sound professional while you pound her so hard the text box might as well just say “nnnngghhh” for three scenes. I had one run where Froppy came in super polite, stuttering a bit, tongue peeking out, and by the end I was making her swallow every last drop while she’s got cum on her cheeks, tongue out like some horny frog idol who forgot what modesty was. The oral scenes are honestly the best part. They let the camera sit a bit too long on the lips wrapped around that big dick, slurpy sound effects, stupid little bits of dialogue like “it’s bigger than I expected” that should feel cringe but I still clicked next like a clown. Vaginal stuff hits too, especially on the big tits / thick hips girls. Bulma riding you while pretending it’s “for science” made me laugh way more than it should. Her tits bouncing, her moaning into some bullshit excuse about “data collection” while your cock is basically rearranging her brain. And the MC is not subtle. There’s this one moment with Chizuru where she comes in with that rented girlfriend vibe, all polite smile and legs crossed, then the questions slowly get filthier until he’s basically asking “how many times you can cum on camera” and she just kind of gives up and spreads for him. No smooth romance buildup. Just straight to “get on the couch, open that pussy, let’s see if you can handle a creampie on first shoot.”

It’s all very obviously made to be “five minute fun” and yet I kept going through girl after girl like some horny goblin collecting skins in Genshin. The game acts like you’re running a low-budget porn studio, but there’s almost no management layer, just enough fake “casting” talk to justify why Tifa has your cock halfway down her throat. Sometimes that annoyed me. I actually wanted to pick outfits, choose lighting, fail a scene, bully them a bit more with choices. Instead it’s mostly “click line, get lewder, dick out.” But in a shitty way that also works, because when I’m half dead on the metro after work I don’t want deep strategy, I just want Asuna kneeling between my legs and calling me “director” while she drools all over my dick. I kept thinking, “ok, one more girl and I close Chrome,” then suddenly I’m watching Satsuki, who’s supposed to be this icy queen type, riding me with that smug face twisted into a full orgasm meltdown, tits bouncing like crazy, talking about how this is “only for testing.” It’s scuffed, sometimes the dialogue repeats, sometimes the transitions are janky, and at one point I got irrationally annoyed that the interview desk lamp is always tilted the same way. But when you’ve got a screen full of ahegao, cum strings on lips, big asses slapping against your hips, and a parade of famous waifus lining up to “audition” on your cock, that stupid lamp is the last thing you’re actually looking at.

Isekai Brothel throws every anime waifu you've ever fantasized about into one chaotic interdimensional fuckfest, and honestly? It's messier than trying to explain the Fate timeline to your normie friends. The premise is simple enough - some genius figured out universe-hopping technology and decided the best use wasn't world peace or infinite resources, but setting up the ultimate anime girl bordello. Can't argue with those priorities, really.

The character roster reads like someone's MAL favorites list had a baby with a horny teenager's wet dreams. You've got Nagatoro ready to bully you into submission, Tsunade bringing that MILF energy, Zero Two with her dino girl antics, and even Rimuru because apparently slimes can be sexy now. The crossover aspect gets absolutely wild when you're trying to explain why Chi-Chi from Dragon Ball is having tea with Emilia from Re:Zero before they both jump your bones. Some combinations work better than others - seeing Komi-san interact with the more... aggressive personalities creates this weird cognitive dissonance that's somehow arousing? The dating simulator elements feel tacked on though, like they remembered halfway through development that some people actually want story with their smut.

What really gets me is how they handle the "universe travel" gimmick - you can either visit their worlds or bring them to yours, which sounds cool until you realize it's mostly just different background art. The sex scenes vary wildly in quality depending on which character you're with, and don't get me started on the voice acting inconsistencies. Megumin sounds nothing like she should, but somehow Yoruichi's VA nailed it perfectly. The game's clearly unpolished as hell with typos everywhere and some characters looking like they were drawn by completely different artists, but when you're balls deep in a scene with Android 18 while Albedo watches jealously from the corner, technical polish becomes less important. It's horny chaos incarnate, and sometimes that's exactly what you need.