You wake up in Rick’s garage, half hungover, pants around your ankles, and he just shrugs and opens some glitchy portal that looks like he coded it while drunk on cheap vodka. Next second you’re dumped into this fucked up version of their universe where everything is familiar but just a bit too wet, too soft, too shiny. The first thing you see is Beth’s ass in yoga pants, bent over the kitchen counter, arguing with nobody because Jerry doesn’t exist here. Or he exists but not as a man. You, apparently, are the stand‑in loser. This world is stacked with huge tits and thick asses walking around like it’s normal, and you’re somehow the only guy with working dick, but the joke is you’re broke, useless and everyone treats you like background noise until you prove you can do more than jerk off in the bathroom.

The game plays like somebody smashed an rpg with a horny sandbox and forgot to clean up the code. You wander around the Smith house, sometimes the dialogue hits, sometimes it looks like the dev wrote it on a bus. Beth flips from “responsible doctor mom” to “thirsty milf ready to ride your face” depending on your choices, and it’s messy in a good way. First time she dragged me into the garage and climbed on top, the camera bugged and her tits clipped into my forehead, looked like I was getting smothered by two balloons full of milk. Still hot, though. Summer is worse and better at same time. She acts like she’s too cool for you, glued to her phone, calling you creepy stepdad, then suddenly there’s this event where she’s stuck doing squats in these tiny booty shorts and if you picked the right options earlier she just casually spreads her legs on your lap like that’s normal family bonding. There’s a mini “quest” where you have to grind a bit of cash from random odd jobs, then blow it all in one night at some sketchy bar because a cop with big tits promises “special treatment” in the bathroom stall and then crashes the scene halfway when the wrong variable triggers. I had her talking like Beth for one line. I laughed way too hard.

What I liked is how dirty some scenes are without pretending to be romantic. Vaginal stuff is front and center, no ten‑minute build up, you can just end up balls‑deep in Beth on the couch while the TV shows some static cartoon and the UI text overlaps the cum animation. Sometimes you get stuck in this loop where you’re grinding affection points and money at same time and it feels like a shitty mobile game you secretly enjoy on the toilet. Sometimes the pacing just breaks and you go from jerked‑off loser to pussy magnet in two choices. It’s not stable, not clean, the porn logic is dumb, and the whole “nut your way home” thing already doesn’t make sense five minutes in, but when Summer is riding you in her messy room with her big tits bouncing and the game forgets to fade out the footsteps sound from the hallway, you kinda stop caring that half of it feels like a bug report waiting to happen.

It starts messy, in the best possible way. You’re tossed into this warped version of the galaxy far, far away - not the kind that smells like burnt metal and destiny, but one thick with sweat and bad decisions. The whole thing feels like a fever dream that someone spun out after one too many Holonet smut threads. You’re the guy who somehow made it to Jedi Knight while everyone else got distracted by the war or by each other’s asses (and they’re massive here, holy hell). Half the time you forget why you’re supposed to be saving anything because Barriss bends forward mid-dialogue and the robe just... doesn’t hold. Then there’s Aayla, all cool confidence until her mouth opens, breathing hard like she’s half-daring you to break the code. They all do that. Even Padme - who says words about diplomacy but arches her back every time your name drops. It’s ridiculous and hot at once, like watching porn on mute during a political debate.

The turn-based fights almost feel like foreplay. Every encounter teases longer than necessary, camera angles doing that thing where you can’t tell if you’re fighting monsters or auditioning them for something darker. When Bo-Katan shows up, the whole tempo changes - less talk, more bite - and suddenly the lightsaber doesn’t look like a weapon anymore. My favorite stupid detail: in the menu, somebody coded a “meditation” button that just leads to sex scenes. Lazy? Sure. But it fits. Nothing here pretends to be noble; it’s all dirty Jedi business in slow motion. And when the game finally pops one of those creampie endings, you don’t even blink. You just chuckle, fix the screen ratio on your phone, and keep pressing through because apparently defeat can look like victory if the moaning syncs just right.

Weird thing is - somewhere between the teasing and the parody nonsense - it stops feeling like a joke. You catch yourself liking these twisted versions more than the real ones. Maybe that’s the Force talking. Or just the fact that the writing knows exactly how low you’ll sink for another glimpse under a Jedi robe.

Imagine waking up and realizing every stupid horny joke you made about “yeah I’d totally smash that mon” actually became your new life. That is literally the whole vibe here, and somehow it works way better than it should. You are this reincarnated guy in a world that kind of looks like the usual pocket monster thing, except everyone around you is either stacked like a hentai doujin or has curves that make zero sense biologically. The game just shrugs and says “yeah, you’re here to fuck, not to ask questions,” and throws you at girls and monster girls like you’re some walking breeding item. One moment you’re pretending to be a serious trainer talking with Nemona about battles, next moment she’s grinding on you and asking if your “move” is super effective while she rides you raw and begs for a creampie like it’s part of the gym rules. It’s really dumb. I love it.

The best part for me is how it treats all the famous girls as if they’ve been waiting for you personally. Misty showing up all smug, doing that fake tsundere “I’m only doing this for training” while she’s on her knees, stroking your cock with both hands and licking the tip like she’s taste testing a potion. Marnie being all quiet but then suddenly sitting on your face, thighs trembling, whispering nasty stuff that would break canon so hard. Hilda teasing you nonstop, riding your lap and pushing her tits together for a slow titfuck, with this lazy smile like she knows you’ve memorized every frame already. Sonia pretending she cares about “research” while taking off her coat and letting her big ass bounce on your cock, all animated, soft jiggle, clapping sound in your headphones, you know the drill. The models actually look like twisted versions of their originals, not ugly knockoffs, which is rare in these parody things. And the monster girls… yeah. Gardevoir giving this gentle blowjob like she’s worshiping you, then pulling you deep inside her and asking you not to pull out. Mewscarada acting all smug, rubbing her pussy on your shaft first, like “prove you can handle me,” then moaning like crazy once you slam into her. Lopunny is just straight-up fetish fuel, there is no other way to describe it. The game knows exactly what it’s doing and doesn’t pretend otherwise.

What surprised me is how often I opened this on mobile “just to check something” and ended up stuck watching one animation ten times in a row like some idiot, because there is always one little movement I missed. Jessie’s blowjob scene where her lipstick smears a bit and she strokes you faster with that annoyed Team Rocket face? Peak. Nemona jerking you off while ranting about battle stats, using spit as lube and then suddenly pressing your dick between her tits like she remembered titfucks exist mid-scene. There is some actual voyeur stuff too, where you’re hiding behind bushes watching a milf trainer finger herself while her mon watches, and your stupid horny brain is like “okay but when is my turn,” and yes, of course the game gives you that. Sometimes the pacing is weird, like it jumps from teasing to full vaginal in one click and the dialogue barely catches up, but somehow that chaotic energy kinda fits. I had one moment where I was going through a “serious” talk with a character and I clicked the wrong option and suddenly she was on her knees giving me a handjob, zero lead-up, and I laughed so hard I had to pause the scene. But then I watched it twice anyway. The adventure stuff is just an excuse to move you from one girl or monster girl to the next, and honestly I stopped pretending it was about anything else after the first time I pumped a full load inside Sonia and she smiled like that was the secret objective all along.

Phone Story looks harmless when it loads, like one of those cheap mobile chat sims you open on Chrome while pretending to check Slack. It is not harmless. It is that slow, nasty itch in the back of your head if you like watching “what if my girl had someone else in her DMs” kind of stuff. You play the husband who goes away, but honestly the main character is Lisa’s damn phone. Half the game is you reading her messages and deciding how much rope you want to give her, then pulling it back too late. You don’t click through some porn slideshow and right into “she’s on a couch with a giant dick in her.” The game takes its time. First it’s just flirty texts, a photo with “is this too much?” kind of teasing, her asking your opinion, your “friend” dropping those little comments that sound harmless until you reread them in incognito at work and realize you’re basically writing your own cuck script.

The pacing is weirdly strong for a messy hentai VN. Sometimes one choice just makes her send a slightly spicier selfie, sometimes it jumps right into a scene where she’s on video call, touching herself, trying to convince you it’s “for you” while that friend’s name keeps popping at the top of the screen. Classic anime-wife look, soft face, kinda innocent expression, but you can watch the corruption slide in bit by bit. She starts dressing more revealing, talking about “just hanging out” with him, a little wine, harmless cuddling, totally not cheating, right? Sure. Then you get those AI-looking CGs where she’s on her knees, lips glossy, your friend’s bbc in front of her mouth, and she’s still typing some sweet romantic bullshit to you with the other hand. The game loves making you stare at chat bubbles while she’s getting filled somewhere offscreen or in a small mirrored reflection. Proper voyeurism energy. The actual sex scenes hit all the usual spots, vaginal, anal, her pinned to a table, riding, messy facials, the whole thing, but the part that sticks is when she looks happy and guilty at the same time and you know it’s half for you and half for herself. Sometimes the writing slips and a line sounds like it came out of Google Translate, but honestly that kinda fits the vibe. On Android Chrome the text boxes get too big and cover half the art, which annoys the hell out of me, and if you tap too fast you skip a good line and there’s no quick log button right in your face, you have to dig for it. Also one route feels like it jumps from “maybe I’ll flirt” to “raw creampie from your buddy” in like two clicks, like the dev got horny and forgot the slow burn. Still, if you’re into netorare or softer netorase stuff, that moment when you tell her “yeah, explore a bit, just don’t forget me” and later you’re literally watching her try anal for the first time with someone else because you told her it’s fine, that hits way harder than it has any right to. And yeah, sometimes you tell her to stay faithful and the game almost seems annoyed, like “are you sure you don’t want to watch?” but then it gives you these surprisingly sweet romantic scenes where she masturbates with the phone propped up, moaning your name while she’s already mentally halfway to the neighbor’s bedroom. Not subtle at all, but that’s kind of the point.