The main guy in Hot Property looks like the sort of dude who keeps breaking stuff in his own house and then somehow gets rewarded with more tits. That is kind of the whole vibe. It starts out feeling like a silly porn setup you see on TikTok edits, this unlucky guy suddenly getting a shot at some ridiculous situation, and then it keeps leaning into the chaos instead of pretending to be “serious storytelling”. One moment he is trying to act cool and professional, the next he is face first between a huge ass and completely losing control while two girls laugh at him. It feels half erotic, half “how is this idiot still alive”, and that actually works. The game knows it is horny trash and just runs with it. Sometimes it even trips on its own jokes, but it keeps going, like a drunk dude speedrunning Pornhub categories.

When the scenes really start, they do not waste time. You get long, slow teasing with hands sliding over those big curves, close shots of lips brushing skin, the kind of stuff that makes you want to pause and just stare. Then the rhythm jumps, suddenly one girl is on her knees, stroking him while the other leans in and kisses him, and you see the whole thing animated with nice weight to the bodies. It is not “perfect” animation, you will notice little stiffness here and there, sometimes hair moves weird or the loop is a bit too clean, but there is a lot of personality inside the cuts. Breasts bounce heavy when he grabs them, asses jiggle when they ride him, tongues slip in and out during oral, and the camera gets really shameless with low angles. There is one group scene where he is getting his cock sucked while another girl sits on his face and a third one just watches, stroking herself, and the game holds the shot on his overwhelmed expression long enough that you actually feel the comedy and the lust mix together. It almost feels illegal to laugh while you are this turned on. The lesbian bits are surprisingly sweet and filthy at the same time, with the girls teasing each other first, sharing a slow kiss, then going straight to fingers and wet thighs while he just stands there like a background prop until they decide to drag him back in. I do not like the tiny font for the dialogue boxes though, it looks like it came from some random early mobile VN and nobody fixed it. Also I opened Discord once during a loading and when I came back the music glitched for a second, like an old Flash game, which annoyed me more than it should.

The humor actually lands more often than not. Jokes about his bad luck, little sarcastic comments from the girls, weird surreal moments that almost feel like a meme edit placed in the middle of a hentai scene, like “how is this my life” energy. At the same time, the story never pretends to be deep, it just uses the plot as excuse to throw him into more trouble and more naked skin. The big tits are front and center, literally, and the game loves pushing them in the frame, having them pressed together during handjobs, smearing spit and precum on them while he tries to keep a straight face. Vaginal scenes are firm and detailed, you can see bodies grinding, hips slamming, the kind of thrusting that makes you hear the slap in your head even if the volume is low. There is this one oral scene that is honestly better than some full sex moments, the way her cheeks hollow when she goes down on him, then pulls back with a thin line of saliva, smiling like she knows exactly what she is doing to both him and you. It is horny, messy, not very realistic, and strangely charming. Or maybe it is not charming at all and I am just too weak for a dumb protagonist surrounded by horny women who keep calling him out and still ride his dick like it is their job. Hard to tell.

Ash and Mila look all sweet at first glance, that couple you’d scroll past on Instagram and think “ok, too wholesome, next”, but the game just keeps poking holes in that image until you’re watching this nice engaged pair doing things in their apartment that should probably void the rental contract. You jump between the two, which I really liked, since seeing both sides of a relationship while they’re horny, stressed, and kinda dumb is way better than just watching some dude bang everything that moves. One minute Ash is trying to focus on work with one hand on the mouse and the other already creeping into his pants, staring at some AI-generated porn that looks a little too close to a girl he actually knows, and the next you’re Mila, half bored, half turned on, sitting on the couch in a loose shirt, phone in hand, thinking, “Do I tease him right now or make him beg later?” The game really leans into that quiet domestic sex vibe: she “accidentally” bends over for way too long while doing laundry, his eyes are stuck to her ass, you feel your own mouse drifting with his gaze, and yeah, of course you grab and grope because why the hell wouldn’t you.

When they finally lock the door to the bedroom, it’s not just a quick fade to black stuff. You get the slow build, the kind where Mila pushes Ash back on the bed and climbs on top, tits hanging right in his face while she grinds on him through his boxers, just to watch him squirm. She’s not shy about it either, grabbing his head and stuffing his face in her chest, soft skin and heavy breasts making it hard for him to breathe but he’s clearly not complaining. There’s a great little moment where she’s going down on him, spit and precum glistening, her fingers lazily stroking his balls while she looks up with this smug “I own you” expression, and you’re given the choice: let him cum on her tongue or force him to wait so she can feel it deep inside instead. When you pick the creampie option and watch her sink down on him, her ass bouncing in his lap, her pussy swallowing him in slow strokes until he finally gives in and fills her up, it actually feels earned, because the whole build-up was teasing, edging, little touches and looks across the room. And yeah, sometimes the faces look a bit too AI-smooth and perfect, and one of Mila’s idle poses keeps clipping her hand in a weird way that annoyed me way more than it should, but then you catch that shot of her lying on her back after sex, cum slowly leaking out of her, thighs shiny, fingers lightly rubbing herself again because she’s not quite done, and suddenly you don’t care about that tiny bug at all.

This thing starts like a drunk DnD session that got horny and never sobered up. You’re dropped into this little adventuring family circus: a Paladin you actually pick the sex for right away (male, female, futa, go wild), a Barbarian wife who has big “break the door and then ride you on the splinters” energy, and a Druid daughter who’s way too observant about everyone’s sex life. The game just pretends this situation is normal. No slow build. One moment you’re choosing attack options, next moment you’re basically debating if you should watch your own wife get pounded by someone else while you kind of like it and kind of hate yourself. I liked that. I hated that. I liked that I hated it. You get the idea.

The tone is weird in a good way. One scene has you arguing about tactics in a dungeon, and five lines later you’ve got a smug elf femboy shaking his ass in front of your wife like he’s farm-testing her loyalty. It’s not some clean “press button, get sex” thing either; you’re steering conversations that feel like they’re about honor, trust, party dynamics, then they slowly twist into “ok, who is going to fuck who and who is forced to watch.” The netorare bits hit hardest when you didn’t think you were choosing that, but then the Barbarian is moaning another name and you’re like “oh, right, that option.” I played on my phone in Chrome at first and had this moment where I alt-tabbed to Telegram mid-scene, came back, and the Druid was calmly describing exactly how wet one of the monster girls was while I’d forgotten where the hell the dialogue thread even started. By the way, the auto-forward sometimes feels too jumpy and I keep wanting to tweak it one tiny notch slower and always forget, which annoys me more than it should.

Then there’s the Undine futa, who basically steals the entire show. The story keeps pretending she has a “secret” like you can’t see this coming a mile away, but when everything finally comes out, the game really plays with it. You get routes where she focuses on the women in the group, and it isn’t just “haha, she has a dick, funny,” it’s more like “how deep can we go into turning the Paladin into a jealous mess while every female body in the party gets thoroughly re-plumbed.” I kinda wish there was a path where she went harder on the Paladin too, then again I don’t, because the whole fantasy hangs on that frustration and cheating vibe. Some of the funniest bits are actually right before the sex, like when characters try to talk all noble about temptations and duty while a succubus fire mage is casually describing in detail how she’s going to suck the soul out through someone’s cock. The humor hits at odd times, like after a really rough scene, someone drops a throwaway line that made me actually snort, then it jumps back into a blowjob choice menu without warning. If you want to wring every filthy drop out of it, don’t rush: manually save before big emotional choices, say yes when your gut screams no, and let the mess happen instead of trying to protect everyone. The most fucked up stuff hides behind the “this is a bad idea” options.

Orange Smash! feels like somebody took a lazy walk into a creepy forest, tripped over their own dick, and decided to stay there because the girl who found them was way too hot to leave. It is one of those short, horny visual novels that knows exactly what it wants to do and does not pretend to be deep, but somehow it still has little emotional stabs that catch you off guard. You meet Yuma in this empty, almost dead-looking forest, everything quiet, no people, just you, trees, and this girl with ridiculous chest physics and a smile that looks like trouble. She talks like she already knows you, touches you like you are already her toy, and the game never really explains her properly. Not in a lore way, anyway. Which is kind of nice. You just accept that this monster-looking girl with huge tits shows up, teases the fuck out of you, and that is your life now. I played it on my phone while half-lying on the couch, one hand awkwardly holding the screen, the other hand very much busy, and honestly the mobile aspect matters more than it should. It is the kind of thing you open between checking Telegram and Reddit and then suddenly you are stuck watching her slowly slide her tongue along the MC in this long oral scene that lasts just enough to make you forget you were even “playing” anything.

What I really liked is how Yuma is written like a horny gremlin instead of some perfect anime waifu. She jokes, she mocks you a bit, she knows you are staring at her boobs and she uses it. There is this moment early on where she pretends she is giving you a “reward” for surviving the forest, sits way too close, leans in so her breasts press into the MC’s chest, and just keeps talking casually about nothing important, like she is stretching out the moment on purpose. It is obvious she wants to fuck, it is obvious you want to fuck, but she keeps you right at the edge of it, brushing your thigh, whispering in your ear, her tail kind of wrapping around your leg like she is claiming you. It is slow, but in a good way. Then the actual sex scenes go the other direction, like “ok, you waited, now take everything at once.” The first time she goes down on you, she looks up with this smug face that actually made me stop tapping for a second. There is something really satisfying about how she enjoys it too, not just doing service. She drools, she laughs a bit when you twitch, she talks with her mouth still messy. Later, when she climbs on top and just sinks down, there is this quiet line she drops, something like “you are not going anywhere now,” and it hits both as horny and a little scary. In a good, “I live in your phone and own your dick now” kind of way. The creampie stuff is straight up shameless, warm and sticky and drawn with way more love than some of the backgrounds. I wish the forest had more variation, to be honest, but I kind of forgot about that once she started bouncing on top of the MC, her breasts moving like they had their own personality. It is messy, it is focused almost only on you and her, and that single track mindset actually makes it relaxing. You open game, you meet weird lewd girl, you get teased, you cum inside her, you stare at the last CG a bit too long, you close game, you think “yeah, I might open that again later” and then you go back to scrolling like nothing happened.