So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

You wake up as Lieutenant Arkay, already balls deep in Empire bullshit and not even sure if you’re the bad guy or just the horny one who signed the wrong paper. General Orbius dumps you on this secret research station called S.H.A.D.O.W., floating in space, quiet and cold, with that soft humming sound in the background that makes everything feel like it’s vibrating under your feet. Doors slide open with that smooth hiss, lights bloom across the floor, and every corridor feels like it’s hiding some dirty secret around the corner. It’s all very sci-fi and serious at first, then the “research” part hits: monster girls in containment, clone soldiers that look almost the same until you notice their tits or their eyes or the way they bite their lip when you grab them by the throat. There’s this weird mix of military discipline and pure filth that actually works. You’re still writing daily reports for the Empire, but between lines you’re thinking “yeah, I made her cum 3 times and then filled her ass, is that classified too, sir?”

The game plays like a sandbox of bad decisions. One moment you’re pretending to do your duty, checking data on some console like a good officer, next you’re cornering a clone in a maintenance bay, hand on her neck, thumb pressing into her pulse while the other one slides into her panties. The detail is nice in a dirty way: her breath getting shorter when you grope her, the way her thighs press together when you tease instead of fuck, the sticky sound when you finally push in after too much teasing. There is one scene where you’re in this observation room, watching a monster girl train with a group of clone girls. It starts as “combat exercise” and ends as you, behind one-way glass, jerking off while the monster girl pins one clone to the floor and licks her all over, and the others pile in. Full on group sex, tails wrapping around waists, hands everywhere, one of them riding a toy while you decide if you join them or just keep being the pervy voyeur. I actually liked the titfuck scenes more than I expected, which is stupid, because usually I skip those. Here, one MILF scientist in a tight uniform kneels in front of you in some random lab, pops her tits out of the white coat, grabs your cock and presses her soft boobs around it, slow, sticky strokes, leaving little smears of precum on her skin. You can feel in your mind that warm, slick slide, her glasses slightly crooked because you pulled her hair too hard. And I still think the anal scenes are the best part, except they kinda aren’t, except they are. The pacing is a bit strange: sometimes you spend too long just walking around the station, touching consoles, listening to Orbius talk about “important projects” while you’re just here waiting to creampie another clone. At one point I got stuck wondering if the clones even remember who fucked them yesterday or if it’s all blended into one long mission report titled “Arkay abuses his authority again.” Anyway, I got distracted by this tiny thing: the sound of doors. They always make the same noise, and now my brain links it with “someone is about to get groped.” It’s annoying. I kinda love it. I was going to say something about the fantasy part with the monster girls wielding strange powers, but now I just remember the way one of them clamps down around your cock when you push in her pussy while her tentacles hold another girl open for you, and yeah, whatever, lore can wait.

Heated Hashtag feels like someone mashed together OnlyFans, horny Twitter and a horny dorm where every door is just slightly open if you dare to peek. You play this guy who starts out kinda normal, more lurker than star, scrolling through spicy profiles and thirst traps, then little by little the story shoves him right into the center of the exhibition circus. At first you’re just watching clips, liking stuff you really shouldn’t like from people you probably shouldn’t even know. Then suddenly you’re the one holding the phone, recording a girl with ridiculous tits bouncing in your lap while she pretends it’s “just for her private folder”. Sure. And then the notifications start blowing up inside the story and you realise the whole thing is basically one long horny feedback loop: someone posts, someone watches, someone masturbates, and everyone starts pushing limits because attention feels as good as any orgasm.

The sex itself ramps up fast but in a sneaky way. One scene you’re just “helping” a shy girl set up her OnlyGram profile, messing with lighting, trying to act professional while she slowly loses more clothing than she planned. She’s blushing, you’re trying to not stare at her huge ass sticking out of this stupid tiny skirt, and then, boom, she’s on her knees with your cock in her mouth, worried about camera angle while drool runs down her chin. Later you’re balls deep between those massive tits, lube and spit everywhere, and she’s asking if the algorithm likes creamy finishes, so of course you end up painting her face and tits and the game freezes that sticky frame like it’s a thumbnail. There’s a club scene where everyone pretends they’re just having drinks, but half the fun is the “who’s recording who” vibe. You’re looking across the room, some dude is railing a thick chick from behind against a balcony rail, she’s trying to stay quiet, and then your own girl grinds back on you, whispering that you should pull your phone out and film her while she gets fucked too. It gets messed up when monster girl stuff slides in without ceremony: you’re watching what looks like some cosplay stream, then her tail wraps around your waist, she turns around with fangs and a grin, and suddenly that anal shot is not exactly human anymore. The game loves creampies like Instagram loves food pics; one route has you finish deep inside a girl on camera, and while she’s still shaking, a notification pops that the clip is “trending” and she moans harder from that than from the actual dick. It’s also kinda funny, in a sad way, how often the guy is jerking off alone to clips of people he literally just fucked, like the story knows masturbation after a wild night hits different. Some AI-generated CG slips in and you can feel it, faces a bit too smooth, bodies a bit too perfect, but it weirdly fits this vibe of fake-online-sex meets real sweat and messy cum. By the time you’re watching a couple trade partners while the “main” girl talks about follower goals with a cock halfway in her ass, you sort of forget where the line between voyeur, performer and addict even was. And then the game pretends that’s totally normal.

You start off thinking it’s just another fantasy visual novel with tits and dragons, right? Then it hits you - this thing actually *wants* you to care about who you fuck. You’re tossed into this castle, all dressed up like some half-hero, half-sacrifice, and the queen’s gaze feels like she’s undressing your soul. The choices come fast, and they’re not just “pick girl A or girl B.” They twist your story, they mess with your head. One moment you’re flirting with a sly elf who keeps her armor half-open just to tease you, the next you’re in a candlelit chamber, her breath hot on your neck, whispering something that sounds like a spell but feels like a promise.

And then the dragon part - holy hell. It’s not just a pet or a mount; it’s a whole mood. The game plays with that line between power and surrender, and it’s filthy in the best way. There’s a scene (you’ll know it when you get there) where you’re supposed to “bond” with your dragon, and it’s dripping with tension. The camera lingers, the sound design goes low and throaty, and suddenly you’re not sure if you’re taming the beast or if it’s taming you. The lesbian routes? Way more tender than I expected, but still raw - like two warriors trying to outlast each other in bed, both refusing to be the first to beg.

It’s not perfect. Some transitions feel like the devs got distracted halfway through animating a kiss, and the dialogue sometimes sounds like it was written by someone who’s never actually seen a naked person. But then it’ll throw a line at you that just *clicks*, and you forget the rough edges. It’s messy, horny, weirdly emotional. Like a fever dream that smells of sweat and dragonfire. You’ll probably finish it once, swear you’re done, then start again just to see what happens if you say yes to the queen this time.