Didn’t think I’d even bother with another “casting couch” parody, but WaifuHub kinda trapped me there for a while. It’s one of those browser things that pretends to be ironic, except it isn’t, or maybe it is, I don’t even know anymore. You play as the guy behind the camera, interviewing all these anime girls you’ve seen a million times before - 2B shows up all confident and stiff, Raphtalia’s nervous like she’s in a real audition, and Lucoa just… well, she’s Lucoa, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The voice acting’s weirdly uneven, and sometimes the moans cut out at random, which somehow made it more real? Like catching some clumsy home-recording vibe. But yeah, the animations hit that point between funny and hot. You’ll laugh when Galko starts her self-introduction too seriously and then forgets she’s supposed to be seducing you, and then it hits you - you’re actually into this.

What got me wasn’t even the sex scenes (well, okay, some of them). It’s that stupid fake dialogue right before things go wild. Meiko saying she’s “totally professional” and then two sentences later losing it on camera - it’s dumb but oddly human. I kept noticing small stuff: the sound of sandals scraping, the way hands twitch when the pace changes. The dev probably didn’t plan half of that; it’s just dirty accident magic. Though I swear the skip button hates me - it freezes every other time I touch it. Doesn’t matter though, since you end up watching everything twice anyway. And Cheelai? She breaks the fourth wall once and it ruined me, I laughed so hard I forgot I was supposed to jerk off.

Somewhere around Mitsuki’s scene I caught myself thinking about how strange it is that we build whole universes of desire around characters that started out as jokes for teenage boys. Then I gave up thinking because Mina’s turn came and - yeah. Animation’s rough around the edges, lines are bad, the logic is nonsense, but damn if it doesn’t feel alive in that broken way cheap porn sometimes does. I still can’t figure out why 2B blushes differently depending on the camera angle. Maybe it’s intentional. Probably not. Doesn’t matter.

New city, new school, and your first big decision is basically “study or jerk off while spying through somebody’s window.” That’s the kind of vibe this game has, and honestly it works way too well. You show up in this kinda normal-looking academy town, but everybody is obsessed with this card game that is clearly not balanced, not healthy, and definitely not safe for a school environment. One minute you’re trying to pass a boring class, next minute you’re locked into a turn based fight where you’re trying to outplay some smug bastard while also getting distracted by the fact that his mom has her tits spilling out of a blouse that should not pass any dress code ever made. The whole “Battles of Mythria” thing is like if Yu-Gi-Oh watched too much porn and decided clothes are optional while dueling. You sit there thinking about card synergies and suddenly the reward screen is a girl with a big ass bending over your desk, animated just enough that your brain goes “ok, yeah, I’m staying.”

The sex stuff is slow-burn and then somehow also not at all. You start with these teasing moments that feel like accidents: your hand “accidentally” landing on a thigh in the library, a MILF teacher leaning in a bit too close so your face is basically buried in her cleavage, brushing past a girl in the corridor and feeling way more than you should. The game loves voyeurism. A lot. You peek through cracked doors, watch a classmate masturbating on her bed while pretending you’re looking for a lost book, see a shower silhouette where the tits are just detailed enough that you pause your Spotify to focus. Sometimes it lets you decide: jerk off quietly right there with your mouse hand doing double duty, or save the tension for later so maybe she “catches” you another day and you end up with a handjob under a desk instead. And when a blowjob scene hits, it doesn’t just show it, it lingers. The lips move, saliva strings, her head rhythm matches the text boxes popping, and you forget there was supposed to be any kind of “plot mystery” in this town at all. The best part is when a card battle goes wrong, you lose, and the punishment is her pinning you down, pressing those huge tits into your face and groping you like you’re the prize. The worst part is the tiny hover tooltips in combat that flicker when you move the cursor too fast and now I’m mad thinking about it again because I kept misclicking like an idiot and skipping turns while half hard. Anyway, the art is this weird mix of clean 2D CG and clearly AI-touched details, so sometimes a nipple looks too perfect for a human hand and sometimes a hand looks like it’s almost grabbing three boobs at once, and somehow that makes it hotter. It’s messy, horny, and just serious enough that you pretend you’re here for the adventure, while your real “strategy” is figuring out which girl to push from teasing and groping into that scene where she drops to her knees in a quiet corner of the school and takes you in her mouth like you’re the rarest card in the deck.

Westview Academy looks like one of those nice, clean elite schools at first glance, the kind you’d see in some boring brochure, but this thing is more like a horny sandbox with uniforms and homework as optional decoration. You drop in as this talented “golden boy” type, but honestly you feel more like the only sane guy in a place where every corridor hides a new way to get distracted from studying. Music rooms that turn into impromptu seduction stages, locker rooms where you’re trying to be a gentleman and your camera angle obviously isn’t, teachers with tight blouses pretending they don’t notice you staring at their tits, or they notice and like it way too much. The game just hands you all this and goes “ok, don’t fuck it up” while giving you a million ways to fuck it up.

It calls itself a dating sim, but half the time it feels like you’re just poking at the world to see who gets horny first. Point and click, yeah, but not the boring type where you’re hunting pixels for 10 minutes. Here you’re clicking on the shower door in the girls’ locker room, knowing damn well the MC “didn’t mean to peek”, sure, and then the camera lingers on wet skin, big asses and bigger tits pressed against foggy glass. There’s this one scene where you’re supposed to be helping a classmate rehearse a music piece, and she keeps “accidentally” dropping her pick, leaning over the desk so her shirt gapes open, and you can either play it cool or lean into the teasing and watch her go from shy virgin to full-on blowjob under the piano in like three choices. I liked that it pretends to be a romance and then suddenly you’re balls deep in the auditorium after hours. Very classy. Completely not classy at all.

The harem side is kinda sneaky. You don’t immediately realize you can juggle multiple paths until you find yourself promising a study date to the cute nerd, a “private lesson” to the stacked music teacher, and a gym session with the thick track girl on the same afternoon. Somehow the game lets it work, at least if you’re not a complete idiot with your choices. It feels good when they all start reacting to each other: a milf teacher gets a bit too touchy and the jealous classmate is peeking through the window, and suddenly it turns into voyeurism from both sides, with you deciding if you want to show off or stay subtle. I had one scene where the black PE coach catches you “stretching” with a girl who’s very naked except for her socks, and instead of a game over he joins the fun with this casual “you two need proper guidance”, and boom, interracial threesome that came out of nowhere. The humor is also kinda dumb, in a good way. One moment you’re laughing at some meme-tier joke scribbled on a classroom whiteboard, next moment you’re clicking through a strip tease in the music room, watching the MC pretend he’s interested in “technique” while her bra hits the floor. It’s horny, clumsy, romantic, trashy and sweet, sometimes in the same scene, and I still can’t forgive that one stupid minigame where I misclicked and missed an obvious blowjob route in the bathroom, but whatever, I’m still going back to see who else I can add to the bed before the semester ends.

In my spreadsheets this thing looks like a total outlier. Every month I track genre tags from F95 and itch with some janky Python, and you can literally see this spike where “teasing + sci‑fi + humiliation + milf” starts overlapping with “investigation adventure”. That cluster used to be basically zero. Now there’s this weird nebula of games where the main mechanic is “solve the case with your tits”. This one sits right in the center of that mess. You play a young investigator dumped into a grim, gothic far future city, but nobody gave her proper gear, so her skill tree is basically: tongue, fingers, thighs, and a very low shame stat. First screen I walked into the church district, clicked a random suspicious guard, and suddenly the dialogue tree shifted from normal questions to “offer him a better view”. Chose it, camera framed her ass while she leans forward, pretending to search him, and his suspicion bar actually dropped because he was too busy staring. It’s stupid and hot at the same time, which is kind of the whole game.

The loop feels like someone glued together a point and click detective game with a slow corruption porn comic. You poke around the city map, find traces of the missing officials, and every clue is guarded by people who want something from her body. Not always full-on sex. Sometimes it’s just “take off your armor plates one by one” or “sit on his lap while he explains cult symbols”. The stripping scenes are animated just enough that you can see her hesitate, then keep going, robe slipping, boobs bouncing a little too much for anything standard issue. In one quest I had to get fingerprints from a suspected cultist nun. Expected the usual interrogation, got a “body search” mini-event where she lets the nun grope under her clothes “for contraband”. There’s this nice little moment where the protagonist pretends to complain, cheeks red, but you can tell she’s pressing closer instead of pulling away. The game keeps doing that: pretending it is about duty, while camera focuses on how wet her panties are when she has to “prove her devotion” to some monster-shaped relic. Also the interface is slightly annoying, tiny icons for inventory that you keep misclicking, but then you drag a relic on her body by accident and trigger a possession scene where tentacle shadows slip into her and make her masturbate on the altar while she’s still trying to ask questions about the case. So bug or feature, no idea, I just logged it mentally as “unexpected KPI of hand movement per minute”.

From data side, the funniest part is how many archetypes they cram into one woman. Statistically, games pick one: either cute rookie investigator or heavy milf with giant tits. Here she starts like a normal rookie, then the way the art exaggerates her body in each new outfit, by midpoint she basically turned into the office milf of the Inquisition. Big ass wrapped in pseudo‑holy straps, huge boobs squeezed into uniforms two sizes too small, and every lesbian encounter leans into that. There is one alley segment where a female cultist corners her, forces her to strip under threat of “summoning the beast”, but instead just spreads her on some cold machinery and eats her out while mocking how quickly she’s moaning for a woman she just met. It is half romance, half humiliation, and the dialogue is cheesy as hell, like fanfic written on a phone during commute, which somehow works better in porn than in normal games. You get combat segments too, but they are almost like foreplay that failed: lose a fight, and she gets pinned, fondled, maybe turned into a puppet for a while so the thing inside her can make her flash crowds in the market square. Win the fight, she still ends up rubbing herself off alone in a dark corridor, frustrated, fingers buried deep while she mumbles about “staying focused on the mission” and clearly does not. I actually wanted one clean, non-sexual interrogation, just to see how it feels, but the game keeps pushing her into situations where using her brain is the last resort, and her body has a much faster cooldown. Honestly, my notes are a mess, but the trend line is simple: every choice slowly turns her investigation into a public kink show, and the city reacts, stares, grabs, worships, laughs. Not very subtle, not very polite, but my charts say people are clearly into this filthy mix right now.