RuleUniverse feels like someone mashed Dragon Ball fanfiction, horny Twitter art and a half-finished Ren’Py project, then accidentally made it kind of addictive. You start as this lonely overachiever kid that reads like every shonen protagonist in history, then a demon scientist pops up and says, “hey, let’s stuff your body with DNA from the strongest fighters in the universe, what could go wrong.” It’s delightfully stupid in that fanfic way, but precisely because of that, it works. The game knows it’s a parody, it doesn’t try to pretend it’s “deep”, and then it suddenly throws in a line about destiny or guiding the universe and you’re like… alright, Toriyama-with-horny-mods, calm down.

The real fun is how transparently it worships its women. Bulma, Chi-Chi, Android 18, that whole legendary boob-and-ass pantheon is here, clearly shaped by someone who grew up pausing VHS at the worst places. The models are 3D and exaggerated as hell: huge tits, fat asses, those shiny anime lips that just scream “she’s going to suck him off in like two clicks.” Animated scenes actually move, not just two stiff characters rubbing like broken Sims; you get thrusting, jiggling, drool, that soft spit string when you pull out from a blowjob, all the little pervy details that tell you the dev really wanted this for themselves first. One moment you’re doing basic combat with ki blasts and energy auras, the next you’re balls-deep in Bulma in a lab, with wires and science junk in the background like that somehow makes it ethical. And the combat’s funny: it pretends to be serious, but all you’re thinking is “okay, how many fights until I unlock the next sex scene with Android 18.” Sometimes the sandbox part feels less like a “world” and more like a small playground with a fence around it, but the loops of walking around, clicking, triggering small events, slowly unlocking more lewd stuff… it scratched that same spot as old flash games I used to sneak at school on shitty browsers.

I kinda love how messy it is. The romance tries to act sentimental for a second, then five lines later you’re face-fucking a milf with magic powers while she moans like someone recorded it in a bathroom on a cheap mic. Dialog swings from “I will guide the universe” to “fuck me harder” without the slightest shame. Exploration is simple, a little repetitive, but I still kept wandering, poking every corner hoping there’s a hidden event where Chi-Chi finally snaps and rides the protagonist like he’s the last Saiyan on earth. Some text sounds like it was written at midnight by a dude half-remembering DBZ arcs from YouTube AMVs, which, honestly, is the right energy. I do wish the world reacted more to what you do, like if you bang Bulma enough, Vegeta starts showing up mad or something, but I know that kind of feature is exactly the thing that stays in the dev’s “maybe later” notes forever. Still, when you’re watching Android 18 slowly drop to her knees after you save her in a fight and she rewards you with this sloppy, animated blowjob, with her tits barely contained and that quiet smug smile when she swallows, it hits the trashy, horny, teen-power-fantasy nerve in a very specific way. It’s not elegant. It’s not smart. It’s like a wet doujin turned half-game, half-daydream, and somehow that’s exactly why it sticks.

There is this messy, thirsty energy in Just Bros that hits you right away. You start as this kinda regular guy who is very obviously not here for “pure romance” bullshit, and the game never pretends otherwise. One minute you’re chatting with some cute twink who looks like he still smells like gym locker deodorant, next minute a beefy office dude is basically pinning you in a dialogue choice that might as well just read “yes, I want you to rail me against that wall”. It feels like using Grindr after a couple drinks, but with actual personalities instead of “sup” and a torso pic. The pacing is weird in a good way: sometimes the flirting is slow, sometimes it jumps straight to “my place or yours?”, and sometimes it throws in a scene that’s unexpectedly soft and kind of hurts in the chest. The sex scenes aren’t just fade to black either. You get to pick things, push, tease, sometimes be a little mean, sometimes get put in your place. There’s at least one route where the guy is all muscle and confidence and you can feel the dev is having fun making him boss you around, but then he says something stupid and you’re like, wow, hot, but also an idiot, and you still go back because, well, have you seen his shoulders.

I like that the game doesn’t lock you to one crush right away. You can act like a total manwhore, go on a date with a sweet nerd, later sneak a quick hookup with a cocky bartender, then accidentally run into both of them in another scene and have to bullshit your way through choices. That kind of awkward, horny chaos feels very real. The writing is not perfect at all, some lines sound like they came straight from a thirsty Twitter timeline, and a few jokes land flat, but that actually makes the whole thing more honest. There’s one detailed scene on a couch that stuck in my mind: half of it is just you deciding if you’ll scoot closer, pretend you’re watching the show, or just rest your hand on his thigh and wait to see if he twitches. It goes from cute to “oh fuck, we’re actually doing this” in like three dialogue boxes. Then later the game throws “A Quiet Wrong” at you and the mood twists. It’s shorter, more focused, kind of creepy in this slow way where you know something is off but the guy is still hot enough that you ignore all red flags. The sex there feels less like “haha bros being bros” and more like “I shouldn’t be turned on by this but I am, and that’s my problem now.” I wish the UI didn’t occasionally lag when switching scenes, and sometimes a choice feels like it should change more than it does, but I kept clicking anyway, chasing that next moment where a confident muscle dude leans in a bit too close, or a shy twink finally snaps and pulls your shirt, or some “bro” calls you out for pretending you only wanted casual when you’re already picturing waking up with his arm over your waist. It’s messy, horny, a bit broken, and very much like actual gay dating.

This one feels like somebody mashed a horny New Year party, a half broken fitness app, and a weird monster-girl dating sim together, forgot to clean it up, then quietly pushed it online. In a good way. Mostly. You start as this muscle obsessed dude hanging around a gym that has no right to be this full of monster girls with big soft everything. The dev calls it a “special episode” and it really does feel like that. Not a full new game, more like that one extra Christmas OVA that nobody asked for but everybody secretly watches twice. You already know the rhythm: male protagonist, training, flirting, bad decisions. Except here the gym is dressed up for Xmas and New Year at the same time, fairy lights over squat racks, mistletoe near the punching bags, huge fluffy tails brushing past weight benches while you try not to stare at bouncing tits. You fail.

What surprised me was how much of it is just… wandering. Not boring wandering, more like messy sandbox energy. You move around the gym, locker rooms, some side rooms that look more like fantasy tavern than sport center. Talk, pick scenes, poke at stuff. Sometimes you get romance vibes, sometimes it is just straight up “shut up and fuck me against the leg press” energy. The 2D art is classic horny-cg style, but the girls have that “I’m a monster but still soft and warm and extremely huggable” thing. Big asses, big tits, big ears, sometimes horns, sometimes fur on places where clothes ride up when they really should not. There is this one dinner event that should be simple, just New Year dinner with one of the girls, and the game absolutely refuses to let it be wholesome. Candlelight, muscles in tight shirt, huge boob window across the table, tail sneaking around your legs like it has its own kinks. You get dialog choices that pretend to be romantic, but both results still end with you getting dragged somewhere more private. I complained to myself about a typo in one of the lines and then completely forgot because the next cg had her thighs wrapped around my face. Priorities are weird.

What makes it feel slightly cursed in a charming way is how the “sport” and “gym” part never fully disappears, even when things get really filthy. You are getting a blowjob in the shower, and in the background there is still a poster explaining correct squat form. One furry muscle girl makes you “spot” her while she benches, except the spotting is just an excuse to watch her pecs and tits press up, sweat running between them, then she catches you looking and it snaps into a sex scene that escalates faster than a horny Discord server. It pretends to be a bit of rpg too, with some light choices and stats popping here and there, but it feels more like flavor than a real system. Honestly I wish the AI cg stuff reacted more to your choices, but it just will not. You get what you get: buff dude, thick monster girls, festive lights, ridiculous romance, and sex everywhere from equipment room to half finished New Year stage with broken fairy lights. I was going to say the opening scene sets expectations perfectly, then I remembered it just throws you in front of a sweaty lamia girl in a sports bra with zero context and somehow that is even better. Not elegant, not clean, just horny fantasy gym energy turned into a holiday episode that smells like cheap tinsel and sex.

Henry’s Adventures starts all quiet and cozy in this little mountain village, and then five minutes later you’re balls deep in trouble, literally and not. You walk around thinking “ok, classic fantasy, nice trees, simple quests,” and then an elf girl with ears sharp enough to cut paper bends over a table and the camera just zooms in on that ridiculous ass like the game knows exactly why you’re here. It’s very honest like that. One second you’re talking about bandits, next second she’s on her knees, drool running down her lip while she works your cock with both hands, and the dialogue is trying so hard to stay serious that it becomes kind of funny. Henry himself is this young dude who looks a bit too clean to be hiking through monster nests, but the moment he starts fucking he goes full bully mode, grabbing hair, pushing heads down, stuffing girls full and then acting like it’s normal village routine.

What actually stuck with me is how horny the world itself feels. You go into a cave thinking “ok, some generic monster fight,” and instead there’s a thick green orc girl with arms like a gym bro and tits that almost spill out of her armor. She pins Henry to the rock wall and you think you’re dead, but it turns into this rough, messy scene where you end up fucking her stupid while her muscles twitch around you. Then later there’s this vampire chick in an old ruin, pale skin, red eyes, tits barely contained in that corset joke she’s wearing. She pretends she wants your blood, then drops down and starts licking your shaft like it’s some rare wine, slow and teasing, until you finally grab her head and fuck her face. The animation sells it well when she gags and her throat bulges around you, and when you finish she doesn’t just swallow, you actually see the cum spill out and slide down her chin before she smears it with her thumb and licks it. Real nice detail. Kind of annoying that sometimes the dialogue boxes cover exactly the part you want to watch, and you keep tapping on mobile praying you don’t accidentally skip the good frame, but whatever, I still kept going from scene to scene like a degenerate squirrel hunting nuts.

The game really loves threesomes too. At one point you stumble into a campfire scene with an orc girl and an elf sharing a drink, and somehow that turns into both of them arguing who rides you first. You lie on your back, elf bouncing on your cock, her big tits jumping everywhere, while the orc sits on your face and grinds so hard you almost feel it through the screen. When you pull out at the end and creampie the elf, it’s not just a quick white flash. It’s slow, you see her pussy stretching around you, then thick cum pouring back out while she clenches and moans like she can’t decide if she wants more or less. Later there is a spider girl or something like that, I still don’t know what she was exactly because I skipped her talking too fast, but she gave a handjob that went from gentle to full-on abuse in three clicks and I liked it way more than I want to admit. Not all scenes hit the same. Some feel a bit rushed, like the build up is there but then the actual sex is over too quick, and sometimes faces look weird when they’re moaning. Still, the way Henry just walks around this fantasy land and casually fucks anything with fangs, ears or claws like it’s part of the adventure, that part is burned in my brain more than the “save the world” stuff. I opened it “just to check it” on my phone while waiting for a download on Steam and ended up finishing three times before I even remembered what I was supposed to play in the first place.

Sweaty locker room smell, tennis balls bouncing somewhere in the background, and this idiot golden boy who used to be hot shit and now can barely keep his serve straight. That is kind of the whole flavor here. You play this high school tennis prodigy in Japan who is stuck in a slump, and the game just leans really hard into that mix of sports drama and horny chaos. One minute you are trying to focus on drills, watching the coach’s muscles flex while he corrects your stance, the next minute your brain is not thinking about the ball at all but about how that same coach would feel grinding against you from behind in the shower. It does not pretend to be subtle. The writing is sometimes cheesy, like those Wattpad sports fanfics, but because it is always from this slightly insecure, too-horny-for-his-own-good guy, it kind of works. Or it does not. I am still not sure.

The tennis part is not fake, which surprised me. There are actual matches, practice routines, choices about training and rest. Sometimes you are mid rally and the game cuts to a memory of the last time you got bent over a bench in the empty gym, and then you miss a shot. That mix of focus and distraction feels very teen. Your character is supposed to be this future star, but half his energy is going into checking out the other guys: the tall rival with the perfect shoulders, the goofy teammate with a bubble ass peeking out from too-tight shorts, the furry club manager who shows up in a kigurumi costume that looks silly until the route turns really filthy. The furry stuff appears quietly at first, just small hints and jokes, and then at some point there is a scene where a big wolf guy is pinning you down, your legs pushed up, and you realize the game was never shy about where it wanted to go. Anal scenes are not all copy paste either. Sometimes it is rough, sweaty and stupid, with you trying to keep quiet in the school equipment room so nobody hears. Sometimes it is slow and almost romantic, two guys on a futon surrounded by tennis trophies, bodies still sore from practice. I liked that they actually show the body types: actual muscle definition, not just twinks, you get big chests, thighs that look like they can crush your skull, and yeah, the animator clearly has a thing for backs and calves. At least once I caught myself zooming in on one of the CGs on my phone like a perv in a crowded train, because the way the sweat is drawn on the spine is just that nice.

What got me off balance was how often the tone jumps around. You will be having this tense match, the rival glaring at you across the net, and the game is building this serious sports mood, then boom, you are in a scene where he corners you in a narrow corridor, grabs your wrist, and tells you he is going to fuck the frustration out of you. I laughed the first time because it comes almost too fast, but then the scene runs long and detailed, you get dirty talk, clumsy condom fumbling, that small panic when you realize you never properly stretched for this and he is thicker than you expected. The school setting makes it a little extra nasty, in that good way: desks pushed aside, chalk dust on your knees, a sticky spot on the blackboard that is definitely not from the teacher. Men’s locker room, wet tiles, someone’s phone on a bench buzzing with LINE notifications while two guys are pressed together under the showerhead, water washing away lube that never should have been there in the first place. It even works fine on mobile, which I honestly did not expect; I played it mostly on my Android while pretending to check WhatsApp, and those small choices and CGs still look good enough. There are places where I wish the game slowed down a bit and let the sports story breathe more, but it keeps jumping back to sex, and in a way that is exactly what the main character would do himself, so maybe it fits too well. Anyway, if your brain likes the mix of tennis, sweaty boys, and guys getting their asses pounded behind the school gym, this thing kind of crawls under your skin and stays there.

Just Bros feels like reading a horny sports manga that suddenly remembers it’s a dating sim, then forgets again, then shoves your face right back into somebody’s sweaty pecs. You start as this pretty normal guy surrounded by walking thirst traps who all pretend they’re “just bros” while very obviously checking each other out in the locker room. The writing leans hard into this fake straight energy: guys comparing bench press numbers while their towels slip a little too low, casual “no homo” comments right before they push you up against a wall and kiss you like they want to swallow your tongue. It’s not subtle. I liked that. Although sometimes I hated it. One minute the game is teasing slow romantic build up, next minute you’re bent over the shower bench having your ass pounded by a so-called “training partner” who swears it’s just a special stretch.

What surprised me a bit is how close this feels to those BL sports manga where every page is just guys sweating, arguing, then making out in a dark corner. But here, you actually pick where to hang out, who to text, and which dick you want inside you tonight. The choices don’t feel super complicated on paper, but they hit hard because the guys react like actual messy humans. I had one run where I focused on the serious muscle coach, the kind of older daddy you know smells like chalk, coffee and a bit of aftershave. I kept picking the respectful, submissive options, listening to his training plans, saying “yes sir” a lot, and suddenly he’s pushing me against the gym mirror, whispering that I belong to him now. Then my phone buzzes with a hook-up invite from the loudmouth jock I’d slept with earlier, and the jealousy scene that followed felt like something ripped straight out of a yaoi drama. He doesn’t just get pissed, he gets possessive in this hot, slightly toxic way that made me both horny and annoyed. I wanted to tell him to calm down, but also to pull my hair harder. Some routes are softer, like the shy nerdy guy who looks like he never left his dorm room except to buy protein powder. His first time scene is more “I’m shaking, please go slow” and less “ram me into the locker,” but of course I still chose “ram me into the locker.” The game lets you be gentle or a total slut, and then acts shocked when you are a total slut. The only thing that bothered me too much is how often my character ends up in the same damn bar. There are like three places in this universe apparently: gym, bar, bedroom. I kept thinking, please, just one chaotic date in a supermarket, let me get railed in the frozen food aisle or something. It never happens, and I weirdly missed that. The routes twist around more than you expect, though. One night stand you thought was just a random cock turns into a full route if you don’t ghost him, and some “main” guys can stay as occasional fuckbuddies if you push them away. It feels less clean than usual visual novels, more like you’re stumbling through a horny friend group where everyone has history and nobody uses Grindr because they already have each other on speed dial. In a way it’s kind of realistic: guys pretend to be tough, pretend it’s only bros being bros, but then one simple choice and their hands are shaking while they unzip you. I kept thinking “ok, last route, I’m done,” then I saw another beefy idiot flex on screen and clicked new game again.

Galactic Athletes: Blue League feels like somebody smashed together horny Olympic games, a trashy boys love manga and that weird fantasy you had in high school showers that you never told anyone about. You play as Finn, this kinda cute medic guy who is supposed to keep all these pumped up jocks healthy and at same time guess who will win and who will lose all the events. Which is already sexy because you are literally paid to stare at their bodies and “evaluate performance”. The game does not even pretend to be subtle. Every competition is basically “who is gonna end on top and who is getting fucked as punishment”, and the story just says it out loud. I like that. No fake moral. You sit there, watching these huge muscle athletes from different planets, checking their stats, listening to their trash talk in the locker room, and in your head you try to decide “ok this one looks cocky as hell, he is definitely the type that needs to be pinned down”. And then sometimes you guess right and the game rewards you with exactly the filthy scene you imagined, and other times it throws you a curveball and the big arrogant guy ends up moaning into the bench instead.

The vibe is very locker room fantasy but in space, full of rival teams, sweaty guys grabbing towels, joking about fucking each other, but then they actually do it. I like how Finn is supposed to be “professional” medic, but every time you open that scene gallery or click on their medical checkups, it is like: bro, you are not fooling anyone. When you check a player after an event you get choices that are normal-sounding on paper, like “inspect leg strain” or “verify flexibility,” but when you click you suddenly have his thigh in your hands and your face way too close to his bulge, and the text just goes full-on explicit. The sex is not soft either, it is very graphic and dirty, with guys talking about how bad they want to pound the loser, or how they love when a champion gets “reminded who owns that ass”. Sometimes the dialogue is kinda cheesy, but I still ended up reading all of it, like re-reading cringe sexts that turn you on anyway. Reminded me of scrolling Hornet and Scruff at the gym, pretending to “just check messages” while staring at all the thick guys doing squats. Also had one of those moments where I paused the game, opened Twitter and typed half a horny tweet about alien rugby tops before chickening out and deleting it. This game does that to you. It fries your brain a bit, in a good way, like when you keep reopening the same nude on Telegram because you “missed a detail” the first six times.

Bella starts this summer as the kind of girl everyone pretends not to see. Soft, quiet, hiding inside baggy clothes and headphones, shuffling between campus and home with her eyes on the floor. Big body, small voice. Guys bump into her in the hallway and only say sorry to her books. Professors forget her name. She knows exactly how invisible she is, and it hurts more because she is still a virgin and her head is full of dirty thoughts she never dares to say out loud. Porn tabs minimized, vibrator hidden under thick sweaters, searching for “romantic first time” and then ending up watching girls choking on thick cocks and wondering why that turns her on so much. Then she goes to her grandmother’s little house in the middle of nowhere, expecting boring tea and old photos, and instead gets told that every woman in her family can ask a goddess to rewrite her body. Not her grades, not her personality. Her curves. Her tits. Her ass. Bella goes to sleep fat, shy and untouched, and wakes up with a waist her hands can wrap around, a huge ass that fights every pair of panties she owns, and breasts so heavy and perfect they spill out of the old comfy bra before she can even hook it. Same quiet girl, now trapped inside a body built for sin.

Returning home with that body is where the real corruption starts. The game leans hard into that contrast: she still thinks like the girl who sat in the back row, but every guy around her is suddenly staring at her chest first and her eyes second, if at all. Walking through campus is a whole event now. You actually feel the moment she realizes her tits bounce under her top, and there is this little scene with her trying to hold her notebook against her chest, pretending it is about modesty while the outline of her big boobs presses against the paper. Andrew, the childhood friend, tries very hard to keep his eyes on her face, but his jeans say something else. You get to decide how long he keeps pretending. Do you make her tease him, bending over just a bit too much, letting that big ass push against his lap when they sit on the couch playing some “innocent” co-op game, acting like she has no idea his cock is rock hard under the blanket? Or does she stay clueless longer, only slowly noticing that every time she leans forward his voice cracks and he has to adjust himself, and she goes home and masturbates to the memory of the bulge, fucking herself with her fingers and imagining what his big dick would feel like stretching her tight, untouched pussy until she can’t stay quiet anymore?

The tone swings nicely between fantasy and awkward, which fits her pretty well. One path can keep her sweet and romantic: slow kisses in her bedroom with the door half open, her sitting on top of Andrew, oversized hoodie sliding up to show the curve of her big ass, his hands shaking when he finally cups her massive tits for the first time through her bra, almost worshipping them. Her first blowjob can be shy and messy, drool on his stomach, her gagging a little on the size but pushing deeper because seeing him lose control hits something deep inside her. Another path lets her taste what happens when a girl with an hourglass bombshell body realizes the world is full of horny men who stopped seeing her as “that chubby quiet one” and now just see a walking fantasy. Older neighbor with thick forearms blurting out compliments when she bends over to pick up the mail, professor who suddenly offers “private tutoring” and stares at her cleavage the whole time, random jock who used to bump past her without looking and now can’t stop DMing her late at night asking what her new bra size is. You can play Bella as scared but curious, or as slowly addicted to the power of making big, muscular guys stutter just by crossing her legs and letting them imagine how that tight, newly shaped pussy would squeeze them. There is real romance if you want it, but there is also the dirty thrill of a former nobody riding a cock on a cheap mattress, big breasts bouncing, moaning too loud, thinking “I used to be invisible” right as she feels hot cum fill her for the first time and realizes her whole life can revolve around who gets to fuck this new body next.

Calendar-wise, this one is absolutely a messy fantasy for that awkward “post-Christmas, pre-New-Year, I hate my family and want orc dick” week. You boot it up thinking, alright, some generic elf revenge story, I’ll tab out to Twitter every five minutes. Then the game throws this skinny, pissed-off sorcerer elf prince at you, Xareth, with this permanent “I’m better than everyone” face, and literally ten minutes later he’s getting his ass grabbed by a mountain of green muscle in a fur loincloth, and suddenly you’re not checking your phone anymore. It starts like political drama, father dethroned, kingdom stolen by some scammer king, blabla, royal duty, magic training, all that, and then out of nowhere you’re crouched behind a rock, watching orcs train shirtless, sweaty, slamming into each other like a gay rugby team that lost their clothes. And the game is just like, yeah, you can stare. Or walk up. Or grope. No explanation, no moral questions, just “do you want the big orc, the bigger orc, or the scarred orc that definitely knows five ways to rearrange your spine during anal”.

What I love and hate is how it pretends to be serious story one second, then goes full horny chaos the next. There’s this scene where you sneak into the orc camp as a “diplomat” and you’re trying to talk politics, like, “help me take back my throne,” and the chieftain is only half listening because he’s staring at Xareth’s ass. You get a dialogue choice: keep talking strategy, or let him “inspect the merchandise.” I picked strategy, because I’m boring, and he still grabbed Xareth, pushed him over some crude wooden table, and started fingering him from behind while discussing battle routes. It’s stupid and hot at the same time. The camera lingers way too long on how Xareth is trying to keep a straight face while getting stretched open, his hand shaking over the war map. And the worst part, I laughed, because the music is still trying to sound epic while you’re basically doing backroom porn with flags and torches. The oral scenes are rough too, like, not “cute blowjob,” more “orc uses your throat like it’s a warm sleeve,” especially in that group sex bath event where Xareth ends up kneeling between two orcs, one in his mouth, one ramming him from behind, and another one just… watching? For no reason? And I swear the watcher was the hottest. Or not. I keep changing my mind about that guy. Anyway, there’s also this sudden interracial monster encounter in a forest cave, where some corrupted beast-thing corners Xareth, and you’re like “ah cool, boss fight,” then the combat fades out and it shoves him against the rocks, claws tracing his muscles, and the game goes, “Do you resist, or see what happens?” and at that point I just accepted that this world runs on cum instead of logic. Twitter crashed on my phone during that scene and I forgot to open it again.

It leans hard into the whole “muscle orc, slender elf” contrast, which normally I’m kinda tired of, but here they play with it enough to keep it alive. There’s an early campfire scene where Xareth is pretending he’s in control, trying to negotiate which tribe will support him, and this broad-shouldered orc with big tusks just sits behind him, wraps one arm around that tiny waist and starts palming his cock through his robes, casual as hell, like it’s normal diplomacy. Xareth still talks about alliances while his voice gets shakier, and the text actually reacts to how long you let it go before you pick a choice. I got distracted scrolling Discord during that, came back, and the game was describing how wet his ass already was just from grinding on the orc’s thigh. I complained to myself about the font in the dialogue box not matching the vibe, and then immediately forgot about it because suddenly there’s multiple penetration in a war tent, with two orcs sandwiching him, one in his ass, one pushing into his mouth, and a third guy holding his hair and making him look each of them in the eye while they fuck him. That scene actually made me pause to drink water. Not because of the intensity, but because I kept trying to see if Xareth was still pretending to be prince or just fully orc cumdump already. The game never really decides, and honestly I like that. Or I don’t. Depends on which route I clicked last. There’s a late-game bit where you finally march against the fake king, and on the way there, instead of big speeches, you’re in the back of a wagon, sprawled over an orc’s lap, getting lazy morning anal while another guy feeds you fruit and his fingers “accidentally” slip into your mouth. I wanted more political intrigue there, but then the camera showed this ridiculous close-up of Xareth’s big ass bouncing with every thrust and yeah, alright, fine, happy holidays to me.