Damn, I was expecting some polished AAI production but got this weird fever dream instead. The whole premise sounds like someone threw every popular waifu into a blender with vacation vibes - you got Hinata lounging by pools, Tsunade doing... well, Tsunade things, and somehow Makima ended up serving cocktails? The art's all over the place too, some CG looks decent while others feel rushed, but honestly that's part of the charm. You're this resort worker trying to bang basically every anime girl who ever made you question your life choices during puberty.

What gets me is how they just dumped everyone together without caring about continuity. Bulma's chatting with Nami about... resort management I guess? While Yor's doing her assassin thing but in a bikini. The dialogue ranges from surprisingly sweet romance attempts to straight-up "let's fuck behind the tiki bar" energy. Some scenes with Mitsuri actually made me feel things before immediately cutting to Nobara being aggressive as hell - gave me whiplash but not complaining. The sandbox elements let you wander around hitting on whoever, though the interaction system feels clunky. Sometimes clicking on Yoruichi just makes her repeat the same flirty line three times.

The sex scenes vary wildly - some are genuinely hot with decent buildup, others feel like they were animated by someone who learned anatomy from hentai exclusively. Shinobu's route surprised me with actual character development before the inevitable creampie finale. Meanwhile Makima's just... being Makima but horny, which works I guess? The whole thing feels unfinished in places, dialogue cuts off mid-sentence sometimes, but there's enough content to keep you busy. Just don't expect AAA polish when you're getting your rocks off to seeing Momo in situations that'd make her classmates blush.

The first thing I thought when I opened *Lusty Buccaneers* was, “oh god, it’s going to be another lazy parody,” but then the main menu music hit me with this weirdly sensual flute loop that made me laugh and also kinda set the tone. You’re this half-dressed pirate guy who somehow keeps running into women that look suspiciously like they escaped from a certain famous anime, only now they’re way more interested in licking rum off your chest than finding treasure. I didn’t expect the story to actually *try*, but it does - sort of. One minute you’re fighting a sea monster, the next you’re having a long, awkward talk with a woman whose boobs look like they could sink a small ship. The writing swings between goofy and horny like it can’t decide if it wants to be a joke or a fantasy, and that’s exactly why it works.

There’s this scene with Nami - well, “Nami” with an extra vowel somewhere - that’s supposed to be a negotiation, but halfway through she just leans in and starts teasing you with her foot under the table. I swear I dropped my phone. The animation is smoother than it needs to be for something that’s basically porn with dialogue, and yet it still glitches when you try to scroll back during a titfuck scene. The devs clearly love their characters though; even the background girls have these tiny details, like the way Vivi’s eyes flick up when she’s pretending not to stare at you. Sometimes the pacing goes nuts - you’ll go from a group sex scene straight into a heartfelt chat about loyalty, and I couldn’t tell if I was supposed to be turned on or emotional.

What I weirdly liked most is that it doesn’t care about being consistent. One moment the protagonist is this cocky bastard, next he’s shy like a schoolboy when Boa gets too close. It makes him feel more human, even if his anatomy clearly isn’t. I wish they’d fix the dialogue box though - it covers half of Robin’s face during the best parts. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe pirates never get clean views of anything. I don’t know. I just know I kept playing longer than I meant to.

Can’t lie, I clicked expecting another copy-paste anime mashup with the usual stiff models and dead-eyed moans, but this one hits different. There’s a sadness under all that skin, like someone coded their fantasies too carefully, you know? I found myself staring at Raven’s face - Batman’s Raven - and thinking, “she shouldn’t be looking at me like that,” while still dragging her into position anyway. Unreal how fast guilt turns into hunger when the animation breathes just right. And maybe it’s because of the Illusion engine doing its sneaky physics thing, or maybe because the transitions are almost clumsy, like real people fumbling with clothes and patience. It’s messy, which makes it hot.

The scenes jump from universes without pretending to make sense. One second I’m in some broken-down Capsule Corp lab, Bulma smirking like she *planned* to get caught; next, Yoruichi’s toes press against my chest, laughing, telling me to look up. I did. Of course I did. The voyeur mode feels wrong in the best possible way - it doesn’t even give you fake morality options, just lets you watch. But then again, maybe that’s lazy design. Or genius. Hard to tell when your brain’s half-melted. The weird part? The sound mix changes depending on position, so D.Va sounds distant if she turns away. I swear no one ever gets audio that intimate, not even those overpriced VR patches on Steam.

Anyway, I could say it’s perfect, but I won’t. Some things twitch too mechanically - the faces sometimes freeze mid-expression, like they remember they’re code. Yet that’s also the charm. You see the seams, and you keep touching them. Like rubbing a wound for pleasure. Half the cast shouldn’t exist in the same space - Orihime beside Tifa beside Samus - but here they crowd my screen like they’ve been waiting forever. Maybe that’s why it works: it’s absurd, obscene, familiar, and somehow lonelier than expected. I closed the browser and immediately reopened it. Couldn’t help it.

I swear this game messed with my head more than any so-called “psychological” visual novel ever did. You wake up rich, spoiled, surrounded by girls who look like they stepped straight out of some fever-dream crossover - like, imagine Asuka Langley arguing with Hinata about who gets to sit closer to you at breakfast, and then Merlin just casually walks in wearing nothing but a towel that doesn’t even try to do its job. It’s ridiculous, yet there’s something weirdly believable about it. Maybe because the dream logic fits too well: everything looks perfect, but your brain keeps whispering that something’s off. I liked that uneasy feeling until it got buried under all the moaning and skin. Then again, maybe that’s the point - when reality breaks, people reach for pleasure first. Or I’m overthinking pixels again.

There’s this scene - I won’t spoil too much - but you’re supposed to choose between helping Yor Forger study or letting Jinx drag you to her room. I picked Yor, thinking it’d be wholesome. Yeah, right. Five clicks later she’s on the desk, glasses half-off, saying things no spy should ever say. The animation isn’t flawless; sometimes her eyes lag behind her face, which made me laugh when I shouldn’t have. But that glitchy charm stuck with me longer than any of the polished stuff. And the sound design? Way too real. My cheap headphones couldn’t handle Tsunade’s voice purring through them. Still, I kept replaying the same moment like an idiot chasing déjà vu.

Funny thing: I started playing for the sexy chaos, but ended up stuck thinking about that blank-memory setup. Like maybe the main guy deserves the confusion. Maybe we all do. It’s a horny game pretending to be philosophical - or a philosophical game pretending to be horny. Doesn’t matter. When Nami whispers something about “remembering the wrong things,” I actually paused. Then I unpaused, because, well… she was already moving.