Bad day at work, opened this on my phone on the train, and suddenly my “just one scene” turned into me staring at thick asses and fake-innocent smiles while some bullied loser tries to fix his whole life with his dick and a few punches. It starts super basic: weak guy, school crap, bullies, lonely room, cheap phone, horny brain. You’ve seen it before. Except here, the girls actually feel like trouble. The first time that stacked teacher leans over the desk, her blouse barely holding those heavy tits, and she pretends she doesn’t notice your eyes glued to her cleavage? I actually paused, zoomed in like a pervert, then kept going. She’s the kind who scolds you about grades with that sweet voice, then lets her hand “accidentally” slide over your thigh and stay there a bit too long.

The game really likes slow build teasing. You’re not some sex god at the start, you’re this sad kid people push around in the hallway. Then one of the milfs gives you just a bit of kindness, sits too close on the couch, presses her huge ass on your leg, and suddenly you’re getting your first awkward handjob while she tells you to keep quiet because someone might walk in. She wraps her fingers around you and strokes so damn slow you want to scream, licking her lips like she’s thinking about more but holding back. Later on she stops holding back. There is this scene where she pulls you into a storage room, locks the door, kneels down in front of you, and starts sucking you while class is literally going on next door. Her lips slide down, tongue circling the tip, mascara a bit messy, you grabbing her hair without thinking. She chokes a little, looks up at you with wet eyes and a smug smile like “see, you’re not weak anymore.” That part stuck in my head the whole day, even when I was pretending to answer Slack messages.

But the game is kinda mean too. It keeps dangling thick thighs and big asses in your face, then cuts to fights, drama, training, whatever. One moment you’re buried between a girl’s tits, motorboating while she laughs and squeezes them around your cock, next moment you’re forced into some macho “prove your strength” scene. I actually hate the protagonist sometimes, he’s pathetic and hot at same time. When the popular girl with the tight skirt bends over in front of you in the empty classroom, you see her panties ride up between those cheeks, and instead of fucking her on the spot, you just… freeze. Later though, after you toughen up a bit, there’s this revenge kind of vibe: you pin her against the wall, her leg hooked around your hip, her ass bouncing against you with every thrust while she bites your shoulder to keep from screaming. She was teasing you for so long, and now she’s the one begging you not to stop. It’s messy, it’s horny, it’s absolutely not subtle, and I still keep it installed on my phone even though I swear every week I’m done with hentai games.

Day starts kinda boring, you’re half scrolling Instagram, half thinking if it’s worth opening Steam or just YouTube again, and then this crazy shit drops in your lap: Ash busts in like a walking jumpscare, shouting about some luxury resort trip she “totally won.” No emails checked, no contract read, just vibes. Next thing, your stuff’s thrown in a bag and you’re headed to this rich-people playground that feels like someone mixed Pornhub categories with a corporate onboarding seminar. Everything looks too clean, too glossy, like the kind of place where the staff smiles a little too wide while pretending they don’t see you eye-fucking every milf around the pool.

The game does that thing where it lets you pick who you wanna be, and it actually matters a bit, not just a haircut swap. Different angles on the same messed up little paradise. Sometimes you’re the guy who can’t stop staring at his “aunt’s” ass while she bends over her suitcase, sometimes you’re catching your “sister” in the shower through a half-fogged glass panel and pretending you’re just “checking the water.” Yeah, it leans hard into that fake family taboo, like those sketchy Pornhub titles that autoplay when you just wanted a normal blowjob video. There’s a lot of quiet moments too, just you sitting in a fancy room, scrolling through some in-game phone app, pretending to be innocent while actually planning how to corrupt everyone around you, one accidental touch at a time.

What I kinda love, but also kinda hate, is how the resort itself acts like it’s on your side. Cameras everywhere. Doors that don’t fully close. Windows you can “accidentally” peek through. There’s this one scene where you’re supposed to go to some “relaxation session,” but if you mess around instead and follow the wrong hallway, you end up watching a full-on handjob through a tinted glass wall, your reflection overlaid on their bodies like you’re already part of it. The game doesn’t treat voyeurism like some small side thing, it just keeps pushing it: late night spying on a milf in her room, catching her playing with herself on the edge of the bed, big tits half out, moaning into a pillow while you’re stuck on the other side of the door with your dick hard, deciding if you’re gonna walk in or run. When you finally get physical, it’s that clumsy but hot progress: “accidental” groping at the pool, fingers sliding over a big ass while she pretends not to notice, her hand brushing your crotch a little too long in the elevator, then later she’s on her knees, giving slow wet oral that turns into messy, animated thrusting. Vaginal, oral, handjobs, all that, nothing shy, bodies moving, everything animated enough to feel alive but not super polished Marvel CGI. People talk while you’re fucking too, which I like. Dirty little lines, shy protests that melt into moans, that kind of thing. It’s horny, a bit toxic, kinda wrong, and yeah, that’s the point.

Champion of I: Luxuria feels like someone mashed together a horny tabletop campaign, a twisted VN, and one of those old browser RPGs you secretly played in the school computer lab, then sprinkled futa demon dick on top just to see who flinches first. You play a male Guardian tossed into this trial continent thing, Eden, where every second NPC is either trying to kill you, fuck you, convert you to their weird cult, or some chaotic mix of all three. It’s fantasy, but not the comfy kind. More like “congrats, you survived the ambush, here’s a monster girl who wants to drain you dry through your cock” kind. And the game just looks at you like, well, what do you do now, genius. The whole thing runs as a sort of point and click story flow with turn based combat stapled into it, where you’re juggling stats, conditions and relationships while also trying to remember which character you promised anal to. Scenes swing pretty fast from tense combat to filthy sex, and sometimes both bleed into each other in this way that feels kinda wrong and kinda perfect for this setting.

The sex itself is not subtle at all. You get vaginal, oral, anal, futa on male, monster girls who are way too into your suffering, weird swinging situations where your supposed harem members are trading fluids like it’s a Discord server gone wild. There’s this one moment early where you “save” a monster girl and the game quietly checks if you’re the kind of degenerate who offers your ass as a thank you or if you play the noble hero and just, you know, fuck her normally. Later on, I ran into a futa priestess who basically turned a victory scene into a full on worship session around my cock, and the game let me either lean into the goddess of lust vibe or resist it and feel like an absolute idiot. The writing is talky, sometimes too dramatic, then suddenly drops a line that sounds like it was written by a horny shitposter on Reddit. I kinda love that, but also sometimes it reads like the dev wrote it at 3% brain battery while scrolling Twitter on another monitor. The combat is fine, sometimes actually brutal, with status effects that stick around and make the next sex scene hit different because your guy is exhausted, cursed, or literally marked by some chaos thing. There is a sandbox feel, lots of routes, lots of choices that don’t hold your hand, and yeah, you can absolutely screw yourself out of content by choosing badly without the game apologizing. It’s messy, thirsty, dark as hell, but in that way where you keep telling yourself “one more scene” while Discord pings stack up and you ignore them.

Eric is the kind of guy you walk past ten times and never really notice. Quiet, normal, owns a cozy little coffee shop, same playlist every day, shirts that probably came in a pack of three. Then suddenly his life turns into the kind of shit you only see on those late night Patreon posts. One moment he’s cleaning cups, trying not to burn the croissants again, next moment there’s this gorgeous girl leaning over the counter with her tits about to escape from her top, asking about “special blends” in a tone that has nothing to do with coffee. And he thinks it’s just a flirty customer. It’s not. It’s the warm up.

What I like is how slow it pretends to be at first. You get all this teasing, these small moments where a hand lingers too long, a skirt rides up when she sits, someone “accidentally” brushes against his crotch in that tiny storage room that doesn’t even look big enough to fit two people but somehow fits a girl on her knees. There’s one scene early where Eric is closing shop, and one of the girls stays behind. She’s helping wipe the tables, bends over just a bit too far, and you see the curve of that big ass under her skirt. It doesn’t jump straight to fucking, she starts asking him weird questions about “other realms” while she slowly runs her finger around the rim of his coffee cup, and you can feel he’s half confused, half hard as a rock. I wish more games paced the build like this. Except later it just throws subtlety out the window and you’re balls deep in a monster girl on a couch that definitely isn’t health code approved.

Once the non-human side starts showing, it gets fun in this horny, slightly dumb way. There’s the moment one girl reveals she’s not exactly human in the middle of a blowjob. She’s under the table, Eric is trying to keep talking to a customer, and then her tongue suddenly feels a little too long, a little too strong, wrapping around his shaft while she keeps sucking. He’s sweating, trying not to moan, the customer is rambling about milk alternatives, and you just know he’s about to cum in the worst possible timing. Then you see her real form later and think, yeah ok, I’d still fuck that. Some of the bodies are ridiculous in the best porn logic: huge tits that bounce even when they breathe, thick thighs that look like they could crush him if she rides too hard, asses that fill half the screen when she climbs on top. There’s a nice mix of soft romance and “I need your dick right now” energy too. One girl wants slow, deep, almost tender vaginal sex on his bed after a long talk, kissing him and holding his face while she sinks down on him. Another one climbs into his lap in the back room, pulls his cock out, spits on it, and starts grinding like she hasn't seen a man in a century. Sometimes it leans into the emotional stuff, with Eric really trying to understand what these girls are, where they come from, how his quiet little world suddenly got teeth and claws and horny eyes. Then other times it just goes straight to her sitting on his face, using him like a toy, and the “plot” takes a nap. At some point you realize the coffee shop is basically a front for a harem of supernatural trouble, and if you’re anything like me, you keep clicking anyway, pretending you care about lore while actually waiting to see who sucks him off next.