Alex is the kind of guy you scroll past on Grindr and don’t even remember. Regular face, regular clothes, regular “nah I’m straight lol” profile line. The fun starts when this painfully average, porn-poisoned, “I only watch straight stuff bro” dude gets trapped in his own dick-brain. A cute femboy called Noah actually replies to his thirsty little message, and suddenly all that straight-posting goes straight to hell. It’s not some epic anime thing. It’s two idiots texting, one of them trying way too hard to act normal while his cock is doing an entirely different orientation than his mouth. The VN just sits there with him through the awkward silences, the panic over what emoji to send, the “shit, did that sound gay?” thoughts that hit him every two seconds. And when they finally meet, Alex is staring at Noah’s thighs and calling it “fashion interest” like that ever fooled anyone.

What I liked is how horny and small everything feels. Not small like dick, relax. Small like: you’re stuck in this chat window, looking at Noah’s pics on your phone, noticing tiny details. Nail polish that’s chipped, a skirt that’s a bit too short for how shy Alex pretends to be, that one selfie where Noah’s lips look soft enough you understand why Alex forgets how to breathe. The erotic stuff sneaks in sideways. It’s not just “they fuck now”. It’s Alex sitting on his bed, half hard, scrolling through their conversation, re-reading the flirty parts, rubbing over his boxers, trying to convince himself that it’s only because Noah looks kind of like a girl “from some angles”. Sure, dude. Totally. Meanwhile the game is shoving his denial right in your face while also letting you enjoy the very explicit, very gay mess he’s drowning in. There are bits where he watches porn after talking to Noah, tries to put on the usual straight clip, then ends up pausing on a pretty boy’s face, and the text just lingers on his confusion longer than it should. It feels gross and honest in a good way.

The romance side is scuffed and half-formed, which sort of works. This build focuses on that first spark, when your stomach feels weird and your dick feels great and your brain goes “no thanks” and “more please” at the same time. Noah is dangerous in the soft way. The kind of femboy who says “it’s okay, you don’t have to label it” while sending a picture that makes you grind your hips into your mattress. The sex is not wall to wall, but when it hits, it hits dirty. You get those detailed, sweaty, needy moments where Alex is too turned on to pretend anymore, moaning like a slut over a body he wouldn’t even admit he’s into if you put a gun to his search history. There’s that slice of life vibe too, the annoying stuff like checking messages while on the toilet, or worrying about what your phone might pop up while you’re sitting next to someone. It’s all very gay, very insecure, very “oh fuck, I like this too much”. Feels like watching a closeted browser tab slowly fill itself with yaoi, sissy captions, femboy porn and then pretend it’s just a phase, while your hand already knows the truth.

Hot, messy summer in Danville, but not the one Disney wrote, yeah? In this one you slip into Phineas’ place, except now he’s grown, bored, horny, and way too aware that every woman around him is stacked and kind of a walking problem. The tone hits that dumb summer vibe pretty well: sun, lazy days, stupid jokes, and then suddenly you’re in this “how did I end up with my face between her thighs” situation that somehow feels like it escalated naturally. It’s a Ren’Py visual novel, so you’re reading, clicking, choosing, and watching the chaos pile up. Nothing fancy with gameplay tricks, just choices piling on top of each other until you’re in a different bed than last time. Story jumps between silly parody humor and “oh wow that’s actually hot” pretty fast. One moment Phineas is cracking some half-assed reference to “inators,” next you’re watching Isabella pin him to the couch and ride him slow, whispering that she’s been waiting since “way before this dumb summer,” and he finally shuts up for once.

The fun part is how twisted the family side gets. Candace is still Candace, but now she’s legal, frustrated, and absolutely done with nobody taking her seriously. You can play her scenes light and jokey, like teasing her until she snaps and drags you to her room, or you can lean into this slightly darker, more desperate vibe where she knows this stuff is wrong but she pushes anyway. There’s this one branch where she comes into Phineas’ room late, complaining about mom, then suddenly sits on his lap and starts grinding through her shorts, pretending she just wants attention. He tries to talk, she just reaches back, opens his zipper, and the script really lingers on the awkward, guilty silence before she actually sinks down on his cock. No romantic speech, just heavy breathing and a lot of “don’t say anything, just fuck me.” That scene stuck with me more than the big jokes.

Linda is pure milf fuel, by the way. The game doesn’t even play subtle with her. Loose house clothes, wine glass always somewhere, and that “I know exactly what you’re doing, but I’m not stopping you” attitude. In one path she walks in while you’re making out with someone on the couch, pretends she doesn’t notice, then later corners you in the kitchen. She leans forward, her tits obviously squeezed by the shirt, and says something like, “If you’re going to act like an adult, at least learn how to satisfy one.” Next click she’s on her knees between your legs, stroking you slow while lecturing you like it’s some very serious sex lesson. When you finally slide into her, the writing stops being goofy and just gets dirty: full-on wet squelching, her ass slapping against you, her calling you “baby” in that way that sounds way too erotic from your own mom. It’s wrong, it’s exactly what players come here for, and the game knows it. The whole vibe is like a lazy horny summer where every day could end with you balls-deep in either your “friend,” your sister, or your own mother, depending which dialogue option you poked half a scene ago. Comedy, porn, parody, all mixed without pretending to be respectable.

Imagine if somebody smashed together Witcher fanfic from some horny reddit thread, a corruption sim, and those old Flash-era slider puzzles, then wrapped it in 3dcg versions of Ciri, Triss and Yen that look just different enough to not get CDPR lawyers knocking. That’s basically the vibe here. You’re this random guy in a twisted “what if” version of the Continent where monsters are less scary than pregnancy and everyone’s moral compass is already hanging by a thread. The whole point is simple: talk your way into their heads, fuck up their ideals, and turn the iconic sorceresses and one slightly traumatized white-haired princess into a personal breeding cult that lives and breathes for your cock. It sounds edgy as hell written out, but in the game it feels more like a slow and messy slide into “okay I guess we’re doing creampies in Kaer Morhen now.”

The fun part is how each girl bends differently. Ciri starts all stubborn and righteous, the usual “I’ve seen worlds and you’re nothing to me” attitude, then a couple of sharp choices later she’s grinding on your lap in some ruined tower, talking shit but not actually moving away while you keep pushing her panties aside. The moment when you first decide if you’ll go for bareback with her, knowing the whole breeding angle is a big deal in this world, hits harder than it should in a porn game. Triss is the classic big-tits redhead temptation package, already halfway corrupt before you even touch her. One branch turns her into this needy thing who keeps insisting it’s “just magic experimentation” while you pump another load into her and watch that spell circle on the floor pulse brighter. Another path has her still pretending she’s doing it all for “the greater good,” which is hilarious when she’s moaning loud enough that even a deaf drowner would look over. And then there’s Yennefer: the smug brunette who treats you like an insect until you finally catch her on one weak moment, hand between her thighs under a desk, asking very calm questions while your fingers keep sliding deeper. The first time you drag her from “you’re beneath me” to “don’t pull out” in one scene is actually kind of satisfying in a shitty power fantasy way, although the writing stumbles sometimes, like it can’t decide if she’s broken, in love, or just horny on potions.

What threw me a bit is how one wrong dialogue choice quietly kills a whole route without telling you. You think you’re being clever or “in character” for a Witcher-style world, then suddenly Triss stops visiting your room and Ciri just talks about training again and your cock-worship harem dream is hanging by a thread. There is a corruption meter hiding behind the scenes, you can feel it when a scene suddenly flips from vanilla riding to “press her down and finish inside,” but the game never really bothers to explain it. Sometimes that’s hot, sometimes it’s just annoying, like when I spent three runs trying to get a specific interracial scene with Ciri and a dark-skinned merc guy joining in, only to realize one early “mercenaries are scum” line basically locked the dude out forever. Also, the faces look great most of the time, but Ciri’s white hair clips into her shoulder in one blowjob loop and it drove me crazy, because everything else in that animation is perfect, the way her eyes look up, spit shining your shaft, and then this stupid hair strand just phases through her armor like it’s made of smoke. Still clicked replay on it like five times though. And the creampie shots are surprisingly good for a parody thing: you feel the choice, like, do you risk knocking up a legendary sorceress just to watch her pussy leak onto the sheets, or do you pull out and disappoint her while she pretends not to care? I kept telling myself I’d play “smart” next run, avoid the hardcore corruption, try a more moral path, but I always end up back in that same castle room, hand hovering over the option that says “stay inside her” and thinking yeah, alright, one more time.

Damian comes back to Milfheim with that fake “I’m a responsible college guy now” energy, but the game never really treats him like some heroic main character. He’s just this tall, slightly awkward dude who suddenly finds himself living in a house where every quiet moment feels loaded. The first breakfast with Helen already feels too intimate. She moves around the kitchen in this soft home dress that hugs her huge tits in that lazy, accidental way, bending a little too far when she brings him the toast. There’s this short animation of her chest lightly bouncing when she turns, and it’s not some cartoony jiggle either, it has weight, like whoever made it actually stares at boobs in real life. Damian pretends to check his phone while his eyes very obviously follow her ass when she walks away. The camera angle is rude in the best way, sliding just behind her, like you’re the pervert hiding in the hallway.

What really worked for me is how the game keeps using space. Corridors, door frames, that narrow little staircase, the balcony where laundry is hanging. It weaponizes small distances. Helen brushing past him “by accident” in the hallway, her hip pressing against his crotch for half a second too long. You get these looping animated moments of contact, like her hand on his thigh while she laughs at some college story, fingers spreading just a bit, not quite groping, but clearly not innocent. Then two scenes later she’s acting like a strict landlady, arms crossed, tits squeezed up, scolding him for not cleaning his room, and you suddenly notice how the blouse pulls across her nipples when she’s annoyed. It’s not subtle, but it’s also not just porn-on-rails. There’s voyeur stuff slipping in all over the place. Damian “accidentally” sees her in the bathroom through a half-open door, steam everywhere, her big ass outlined as she leans over the sink, towel struggling to stay closed. The game lets you linger on that shot with a tiny idle animation where the fabric slowly slides down her hip, just a couple pixels at a time, very slow, too slow, like it wants you to squint at every curve. I actually got annoyed the first time because I expected something to happen faster, but then I found myself rewatching that same loop like three times, just to see the way the light hits the wet skin. Stupid, but it works.

School setting stuff creeps in mostly when he goes out, which I liked more than I expected. It’s not the usual “harem parade in uniforms” thing. There is this one scene where he’s sitting in a classroom after hours, just empty desks and sunset outside, and a woman with a very teacher vibe leans over his shoulder to “check his notes”. She’s clearly older, not as soft as Helen, and the camera really takes its time on the way her blouse gaps when she bends. You see that line between her tits, the bra barely holding them, and his eyes flick up and down in these tiny animations, like he’s fighting himself and losing. She notices, smiles, and instead of calling him out, she guides his hand with this completely unnecessary full-body contact. Her ass presses against the edge of the desk, and your view just ends up framed between her breasts and her hips, like you’re trapped in this warm, slightly perfume-heavy bubble. The teasing is constant. A hand “helping” him adjust his tie that stays on his chest way too long, a “massage” after he complains about studying that turns into her fingers digging into his thighs, sliding higher, then stopping exactly where you start to think “ok, now she’ll grab his cock”. But she doesn’t, not yet. It drove me crazy once or twice, because sometimes I just wanted someone to stop playing and just shove his face into that huge milf cleavage and be done with it. But at the same time, the slow build with all the groping, the half-accidental touches, the glances from across the room, it sticks in your brain more than a simple blowjob scene. They do have oral too, and when it happens, it hits harder because you watched this woman pretend to be “proper” for hours of play. Watching that calm, polite expression melt while she’s on her knees, lips stretched around him, mascara starting to smear a bit, feels like you finally broke something delicate. I kind of wish the game didn’t cut away right after the swallow animation that one time, I wanted like five more seconds, but it never gives it. And somehow that missing piece makes me remember it more.