Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

Future matriarchy, soft boy protagonist, and a city where every woman looks like she could bench press your car and then sit on your face just because she feels like it. That is the vibe here. You play this cute, kinda pathetic in a hot way, guy tossed into a world where women run everything: government, corporations, street gangs, even the damn coffee shop. Men are treated more like pretty pets than equal partners, and the whole game pushes you to ask if you are fine being a pampered little slut or if you actually want to risk all that comfort to change anything. It sounds heavy, and sometimes it really is, but then it throws in a dick joke or a ridiculous dialogue choice and suddenly you're laughing while getting choked by a girl with biceps thicker than your thighs.

The core of it is pretty simple to explain, but it does not feel simple when you play. You talk, you choose, you grind stats, relationships shift, and your past choices come back when you already forgot them. Like that time I thought it was funny to tease a futa officer about her uniform being “a bit tight in the crotch.” Three scenes later she had me on my knees in a storage closet, one hand on my hair, reminding me exactly what I said and giving me a “punishment lesson” in oral that lasted way longer than I expected. If you lean into submission, women treat you like a living sex toy: collars, leashes, public humiliation, being paraded around by a muscle girl who casually flexes while your mouth is busy on her. If you try to push back, you get a different kind of heat: power struggles, angry kisses, rough sex where you suddenly realize you are not as in control as you thought. The incest angle pops up too, and it is not shy. There is that fucked up mix of “I know this is wrong” and “I want her to ruin me anyway” when your own family member corners you in your room, presses you against the wall, huge tits in your face, asking in a soft voice why you always look so cute when you are scared. The game never lectures you about it, it just lets you walk straight into that moral swamp and then wallow.

What surprised me is how often the game lets you be kind of romantic and filthy at the same time. One route, I played as this loyal, slightly confused guy who keeps falling for strong women who could literally snap his neck. There was this muscle girl who starts as your bullying personal trainer, always calling you “weakling” and making you do push ups while her cock print is right in front of your nose. Later you share this quiet rooftop scene where she awkwardly admits she likes that you do not run away from her size, then five minutes later she is riding your face so hard the world goes blurry and you can hear neighbors from the next building complaining. The tonal whiplash actually works. One moment you are in a silly dating sim argument about who pays for dinner, the next she is making you lick her sweat off her abs after a workout because “a good boy should not waste protein.” It pretends to be a sandbox, and sometimes that just means you wander around talking to weirdos, getting dragged into scenes with traps in cute outfits or mature women with big asses who use you like a toy and then send you a heart emoji on some fake in-game messenger app that looks suspiciously like WhatsApp. The game laughs at you in little ways: your character model is always a bit too pretty, the dialogue sometimes calls you out for being horny, and the moral questions are never neatly solved. You can join the dominant system or try to tear it down, but either way you are still sucking someone’s cock in a back alley at some point, and the game knows it and kinda winks at you. There is a nasty honesty in that, even when the pacing is all over the place and a few scenes feel like the writer just got distracted and threw in another blowjob. I got annoyed that one route locked me out just because I refused to kneel once, but then the next day I was back, trying again, because I wanted to see how far this cute little femboy could go if he stopped resisting and just let these terrifyingly hot women own him completely.

Government fantasy but everyone’s horny and badly behaved, that’s basically the vibe here. You’re this regular dude in a fucked up city where the “Order” controls everything, and instead of joining the resistance like some heroic idiot, you get your hands on a mind control tech and go, “yeah, I’m gonna use this to fuck people.” And the game fully leans into that. Every time you “liberate” someone, it’s not really freedom, you just swap one kind of control for another and wrap it in sex. One moment you’re pretending to care about your neighbor’s safety, next moment you’ve got her on her knees in the kitchen, mascara running, while her husband is in the next room watching state propaganda and you’re trying not to laugh. There’s a lot of that quiet, wrong tension. You click a choice and you know it’s scummy, but the game is winking at you like: yeah, go on, do it anyway.

The cast hits pretty much every guilty pleasure. You got the strict older women from the “moral committees” that end up on their backs, legs shaking, calling you sir like they’re the ones getting judged. There’s a high ranking inspector you can slowly break, making him call you “master” while you shove him into messy gay scenes he’d arrest people for in public. One run I had him on his knees in his own office, sucking me off while his big monitor still showed official reports and I swear that contrast made it ten times hotter. Another night, I had a family under my thumb, the mom pretending to resist while her son watches from the doorway with that dazed, corrupted look, and the whole thing spirals into messy incest corruption that just keeps escalating. Group scenes get wild fast: you start with a “discreet meeting” and end with a row of naked bodies, asses up, everyone glazed over, and you walking between them deciding who gets a handjob, who gets anal, who has to lick who clean. The voyeur parts hit nice too, like spying with cameras you installed yourself, watching someone finger themselves, then walking in and making them finish the job with your cock. It’s dirty, it’s mean, and sometimes the pacing drags a little in the non-sex bits, but the payoff when the next scene finally snaps back into some fresh humiliation or control kink makes it worth grinding through. It’s less “save the city” and more “own the city’s holes, minds, and pride, in that order,” and the game does not pretend otherwise.