The cube thing is dumb. I mean, it's there, some ancient being trapped in a crystal prison, whatever. That's the excuse for why Raven from Teen Titans is suddenly standing next to Rias Gremory and asking if I want to "purify" her chakras. The point and click stuff is simple, you just cycle through locations and hope Gwen's shirt finally pops open.

And it does. Frequently. The AI CG is... look, sometimes Starfire's face melts into a vaguely orange puddle with eyes, and other times her tits are rendered with the kind of loving, hyper-detailed gloss that makes you forget she has five fingers on one hand and seven on the other. The corruption angle isn't a slow burn. You click a dialogue option that's basically "be a dick" and suddenly Raven's leotard is three sizes smaller and she's talking about how her dark side really wants to sit on your face. I'm not complaining. The oral sex scenes are where the art actually tries, Gwen's scenes especially have this messy, desperate energy that the stiff dialogue completely fails to set up.

I got stuck on Rias's route for a while because I kept expecting some High School DxD plot to kick in. It doesn't. She just appears, all that crimson hair and physics-defying chest, and within three clicks she's forgotten Issei exists. Which is hot, but also, like, what was the point of the crossover? The male protagonist is a void, a pair of hands and a dick, which is standard but Raven's corruption arc deserved at least a line about her empath powers going haywire from the cube's influence instead of just "you're cute, let's fuck." The Total Drama Island characters feel lost, like they wandered in from a different, uglier game. Still, I kept clicking. That one scene where Starfire's eyes actually looked right, glowing and alien, while she... you know. Worth the price of admission. I just wish the ancient being had stayed in the cube. Its dialogue is pretentious nonsense that interrupts the good stuff.

2B’s ass is right there, on my screen, and she’s lecturing me about social power dynamics. Not even joking. Something about law 4, always say less than necessary, while her tits defy every law of physics I remember from school. The contrast is making my brain short circuit in the best way.

This thing calls itself educational. I mean, sure. Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power gets quoted between scenes where you can, uh, interact with 2B. The dialogue options are genuinely funny, not just “haha porn game funny” but actually clever. You pick responses that boost some invisible social skill meter while she strips down. There’s a moment where she explains mirroring body language and I’m nodding along, completely forgetting I’m also clicking through to the next lewd scene. The art is deliberately rough, sketchy lines, colors that bleed outside the edges like someone drew this on a napkin in a hurry. It works though. Feels intentional, like a zine you’d find at a convention that’s too cool for the main floor.

The humor lands somewhere between shitpost and genuine parody. Not every joke hits. The pacing gets weird when you’re reading actual self help advice and then suddenly there’s a close up of 2B’s spread legs. My dick and my brain can’t agree on what we’re doing here. But maybe that’s the point? The game never explains itself, never apologizes. You just keep clicking, learning about power law 15, crush your enemy totally, while 2B moans. I wish the interactive bits had more variety. Clicking the same spots gets repetitive fast. The dialogue trees are where the real meat is, pun absolutely intended.

Forgot to mention the NieR parody angle entirely until now. It’s barely a parody, more like someone borrowed the character design and said “what if she taught you manipulation tactics while getting railed?” The whole thing feels like a fever dream sent through a group chat at 4am. No voice acting, just text and those rough drawings. The music loops are surprisingly chill though, like elevator music for a very specific kind of hell. One track sounds almost like the original NieR soundtrack if you squint your ears. Don’t expect a full game. It’s a visual novel with tits and questionable life advice. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. My social skills haven’t improved but I do keep thinking about law 6, court attention at all costs, and isn’t that what we’re all doing here anyway?

The card game in the Beacon cafeteria. That's where it starts. I kept clicking through dialogue thinking "okay, another RWBY parody where someone learned Ren'Py last weekend" and then Ruby's sitting there with Cardin fucking Winchester of all people and the whole thing feels wrong in exactly the right way. You know that specific flavor of "wrong" I mean. The one that makes you keep reading.

The AI art is... look, it's AI art. Sometimes Ruby's face looks like Ruby. Sometimes she looks like she's melting slightly at the edges. Cardin's jaw could cut glass in one render and looks like a thumb in the next. But here's the thing, I stopped noticing after the first sex scene because the writing actually commits. It's based on some old fanfic called "A Rose in Pain" and you can tell the creator gave a shit about the dynamic. Ruby's nervous but not in that annoying anime virgin way. Cardin's an asshole but there's something underneath. The romance beats hit different when you've watched the show and know these two should hate each other. Should. But don't.

The moaning sounds come from MagicalMysticVA and I spent way too long trying to figure out if I recognized the voice before realizing that's not the point. The point is Ruby Rose getting railed by the guy who bullied her friends and somehow it works. The sex scenes are explicit. Like, fully explicit. No fade to black bullshit. The dialogue during those scenes is better than it has any right to be for a spare time project. There's this one moment where Cardin says something that made me actually pause and stare at my ceiling for a second. Not because it was deep. Because it was hot in a way I wasn't prepared for from a RWBY porn game.

I wish there was more Jaune content but that's just me being greedy. The soundtrack is Pixabay stuff, nothing memorable, but you won't care. You're not here for the music.

Hope is supposed to feel heroic, right? Shining armor, holy blade, save the world, all that Final Fantasy MMO stuff you whisper to yourself while scrolling through Tinder and pretending you’re not lonely as hell. Here you’re the big “Warrior of Light” who literally runs on emotions, which sounds cool until you realize you’ve basically edged your soul dry. You burned all your feelings like stamina potions, and now the only way to refill the tank is with “very positive” sensations. Yeah. That kind. It’s like going to therapy, but the therapist is a horny fantasy cast who low‑key wants to rail you, suck you, ride you or in some cases eat you because monster girls are apparently just normal now. The whole thing plays like a weird lovechild of a dating sim and an RPG, where half the time you’re clicking around like an old point and click adventure, and the other half you’re doing turn based combat that feels suspiciously like foreplay with health bars.

What actually got me was how the game just shrugs and goes “yeah, sex is literally your power source” and never apologizes. You’re exhausted from your last quest and instead of grinding goblins you’re grinding, well, other stuff. One scene you’re sitting in some cozy fantasy inn room, and a girl who’s supposed to be your serious comrade is acting all professional while slowly jerking you off in this slow handjob that somehow turns into a heartfelt talk about responsibility. She’s praising your “bravery” with her mouth full a minute later and you’re thinking, this is stupid, and also I relate way too hard. Then there’s this super smug mage who offers “experimental therapy”, which is just code for bending you over a desk and going for anal while lecturing you about magical theory like she’s a horny Duolingo owl. And the game just treats it like a normal buff scene: “you gained +2 resilience” after getting absolutely wrecked. Made me laugh harder than it should. I kept waiting for my phone to buzz with a Telegram message or a Discord ping, but no, just me, this fantasy clinic, and an elf who somehow turns an oral session into a damn job interview. There’s lesbian stuff too, like two girls using you as a fancy toy while they focus more on each other, and you’re kind of just there, moaning in the middle, and it still counts as your “recovery training”. One monster girl with way too many teeth offers a “kiss”, I misclicked, and suddenly I’m in a scene that feels like a hentai parody of a boss fight where the only command that matters is “don’t cum yet” and of course I lost that turn.

The humor hits close to home, painfully so. The game keeps joking about hope and destiny while you’re basically on a sex-cation because you can’t handle your own feelings without someone stroking them out of you. There’s a route with a male character that the game just drops on you so casually that I actually respected it, even though the first time he leaned in I mashed mouse buttons like I was trying to close a pop‑up ad on Pornhub. Still ended up in a very intense “training” session where he’s teaching you how to control Dynamis, and you suddenly realize the rhythm he’s talking about is not combat related at all. Some scenes are wonderfully romantic, like slow, patient vaginal sex in a starlit field that feels almost too soft for a porn game, and then the next one is raw, dirty oral in a supply closet with jokes about potion viscosity that made me hate myself for laughing. I wish the game didn’t repeat certain moans and lines so much, but here I am replaying that one little moment where a knight girl blushes before she asks if “using your mouth as a scabbard counts as training”. It doesn’t fix my empty DMs on WhatsApp, or the fact that my real dating life has less turn based combat and more instant defeat, but at least here my emotional burnout actually gets me laid instead of just sending me back to scrolling through Hinge in silence.

There is this strange feeling when you open To Lala-RU and it looks like a goofy school comedy, but your brain already knows: someone is going to get fucked in a way that ruins a relationship they didn't even know they cared about. The game throws you into the shoes of a very average guy in a very anime high school, surrounded by girls that clearly do not understand basic physics because their tits and asses are way too much for those tight uniforms. You click thinking it will be light parody, like watching To Love Ru clips on YouTube while scrolling Twitter, and suddenly you are staring at Lala riding some dude in a classroom like she is proving a theorem about gravity with her pussy. It feels familiar and wrong at the same time, like opening WhatsApp “just to check something” and ending up deep in an ex's Instagram stories, knowing you shouldn't be there but staying anyway. The 3D models are almost too clean for how dirty the situations get, which is kind of interesting if you like that clash between plastic anime shine and raw, messy sex. I don't, and then I do, and then I don't again.

What got me was how the game slowly plays with the netorare thing without screaming about it. At first it looks like a goofy school life story, everyone in uniforms, halls, classrooms, Lala being this chaotic alien princess parody who clearly has no idea about consent in a normal sense, just pure horny curiosity. You follow the male protagonist, thinking you are here to get your dick wet with her, and the pacing tricks you. There is this one scene in a quiet corner of the school, late after classes, where she is supposed to be “testing” some sci‑fi gadget. He is there, you are expecting the usual corny hentai setup, but then the scene twists and the device basically ends up being an excuse for her to get mounted by someone else while your guy just stands there, half hard, half useless. Watching her bounce on another cock in that school uniform, tits slipping out, her moaning his name while the protagonist is in the frame but meaningless, hit me harder than I expected. It is not super violent, not screaming, just matter of fact: you were never the center. The game actually tries to be funny during all this, with dumb alien tech jokes that mostly fall flat, and that weirdly makes the sex feel even more cruel. Porn with laugh track. You click through dialog that looks like a bad Discord shitpost, and then the camera drops right between her legs, full vaginal penetration, the kind where you see the lips stretch and your brain goes quiet. It pretends to be a relaxing parody, but the more scenes you unlock the more it feels like watching a philosophy experiment about jealousy, except the experiment keeps cumming on Lala’s face. The choices barely matter, the routes are thinner than they pretend to be, some transitions are clunky as hell and I still kept going, because every time I thought “ok I got it, same thing again” the game punched me with another angle where the protagonist is in the room but not really in the story, like when you are in a group chat and everybody is flirting around you. In the end I closed it and opened Spotify, but my head kept replaying that stupid classroom scene with her in the uniform, knees on the desk, skirt up, his hand on his useless hard-on while she screams for the other guy. Weirdly relaxing. Not relaxing at all. I am still not sure which.

The sandbox structure here is a mess of menus and waiting. You click around old Greece, trying to unlock scenes with these parodies of Wonder Woman and other Justice League types, but the progression feels like pulling teeth. The 2DCG art is deliberately rough, like someone stopped caring halfway through, and the writing tries for mythology parody but lands somewhere between a bad porno script and a history textbook nobody asked for.

I spent way too long figuring out the slave management system. You capture these amazon characters and then... train them? The masturbation scenes unlock early but the anal and creampie content is buried behind repetitive grinding. There's this one titfuck animation with a character who's clearly supposed to be Diana that loops awkwardly, the frames stuttering like the engine is giving up. The oral sex scenes have this weird disconnect where the dialogue talks about Greek gods but the visuals are just standard hentai poses. Nothing about this feels like Greece except some columns in the background.

The handjob mechanics are tied to a weird minigame I still don't understand. You click and drag and sometimes it registers, sometimes it doesn't. The stripping sequences are the most polished part, which isn't saying much. Each character has layers that come off with enough interaction, but the male protagonist just stands there like a statue. The parody elements are there if you squint, Wonder Woman's costume is recognizable enough, but the whole thing feels like it's trying to be edgy without understanding what makes either the source material or the adult content work. The vaginal sex scenes have this one position that actually almost works, the 2DCG lining up correctly for about three seconds before the loop resets.

The first time you see your wife’s ass in this game, it’s through a phone screen. She’s sent a pic, some domestic thing about dinner, and the camera angle is just... deliberate. You know the devs put that there as a reminder of what you’re ignoring while you chase Donnie’s next big penny stock pump. It’s a Ren’Py novel, so you’re mostly clicking through Leo’s spiral, but that one image of his wife’s huge, real-model tits straining against a simple top did more to sell the “fracturing home life” than any line of dialogue. The whole thing feels like a sleazy, low-budget parody of that Wolf movie, but with actual nudity and a weirdly specific obsession with office milfs.

The business stuff is nonsense, right? You pick a stock, Donnie yells, numbers go up. Who cares. The real game is seeing which ending you can stumble into by being a complete degenerate. There’s a scene with a business reporter, a parody of some CNBC anchor, where she’s got these massive, glossy lips and a skirt that’s lost the fight against her ass. The dialogue is pure cringe humor, she’s asking about “market penetration” with a straight face, and then you’re in a hotel room. The writing doesn’t try to be clever, it just throws big tits and a bigger ass in your face and dares you to click. I wish the “multiple endings” were more than just a few variations of ruin, but for a quick browser game, the erotic bits are what they are. Unpolished, direct, and with a real model whose photos are clearly the main attraction. The humor lands maybe half the time, mostly when it’s just being stupid about office politics. Donnie’s a cartoon. Leo’s a void. But that one milf in accounting? Her arc is just existing and having a fat ass, and honestly, that’s the most honest part of the whole parody.

The poker hands are absolute bullshit and I love it. You sit down across from this redhead with tits that defy physics, the kind of AI generated curves that make you wonder what prompt they used, and she deals you a full house like it's nothing. Then she leans forward, the 2D art getting all up in your face, and suddenly you're not thinking about cards anymore. The whole thing is a parody of itself, a casino run by a guy named Lucio who apparently can't keep his business afloat unless he's also getting his dick wet. Makes sense.

The stripping is where my brain short circuited. You win a hand, she loses a piece of clothing. Standard stuff. But the teasing, man. There's this one scene where she's down to just the lingerie, holding the cards against her chest, and the dialogue is so stupidly charming I forgot I was supposed to be horny. Something about her "royal flush" being better than mine. I snorted. Then the clothes came off and I remembered why I was there. The harem aspect creeps in slow, other girls showing up between hands, each one more ridiculous than the last. A romance subplot with the redhead actually got me invested for like five minutes before I skipped to the next strip sequence.

The AI CG art is a fever dream. Sometimes her proportions look like a Renaissance painting, other times like a funhouse mirror. One frame her ass is normal, the next it's consuming the entire chair. I kept screenshots. Not for the obvious reason, just because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The visual novel format means you're clicking through text boxes while trying to ignore how her left eye is slightly bigger than the right in certain angles. It's not polished. It's not supposed to be. It's a casino game where the real gamble is whether the next CG will be hot or hilarious. I lost more hands than I won because I was too busy laughing at the absurdity of it all. The male protagonist is such a nothing character, just a pair of hands and a wallet, but that's fine because nobody's here for him.

You ever just want to be a scumbag informant drowning in debt to the state, but also surrounded by superhero tits the size of weather balloons? No? Well RICO: Sin City exists anyway, and honestly, bless its janky little heart for that. The whole thing feels like someone threw GTA and a bootleg DVD of The Boys into a blender, then forgot to screw the lid on. It's a 3DCG crossover where these corrupt capes and villains just strut around a city that makes Gotham look like a wellness retreat, all while you, some dude with a really bad legal situation, try to rub one out without getting lasered in half.

The animations are so stiff they might as well be action figures being smashed together, but that's the camp of it. There's this one scene where a heroine with knockers that deflate the concept of physics just starts going at it while still wearing half a latex mask. Iconic behavior. The writing tries hard to be edgy and funny, often succeeding at the first and faceplanting into the second, which circles back around to being hilarious. Buried in the middle of all this is a genuinely annoying mini game mechanic about collecting evidence that feels like someone owed a favor and it was coded out of spite, but you'll forget about it when a parody of a famous speedster villain shows up talking pure nonsense. The humor lands precisely because it doesn't realize how stupid it is, a perfect parody of parodies.

Downloaded this purely because a random Reddit thread said the criminal protagonist's deadpan expressions during lewd acts were "meme worthy," and they weren't wrong. The whole city map is way smaller than you expect. Don't think about the plot too hard, it's basically an excuse to go from point A to point B where point B is always masturbation with superpowered weirdos. What happens in RICO definitely should stay there, preferably in a locked folder.