Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

Guy gets fried by lightning on the way from his boring office job and wakes up as the new dark overlord. Sounds badass, right? It actually feels more like getting dumped into horny hell with a to-do list. You’ve got a demon castle, a bunch of monster girls who either want to serve you, ruin you, or sit on your face, and a curse inside your body that randomly flares up like the worst horny migraine ever. One moment you’re checking resource numbers and troop morale, next second your vision goes blurry, your body heats up, and you’re pinning a monster girl to the wall, pounding her while she’s got that full ahegao face, drool hanging, tongue out, eyes rolled. The game doesn’t fade to black, it goes all in. Animated sex scenes, hips actually moving, tits bouncing, ropes tightening, soft moans turning into straight up screaming when you decide to go rough. I keep pausing to capture the best frames into GIFs, then going back because I miss whole animations. It’s stupid how many times I rewound one anal scene with a slimy tentacle girl wrapping around the hero like a hentai octopus hug.

What I didn’t expect is how the management and rpg stuff keeps baiting you into lewd trouble. You open the map just to plan some combat, then some “innocent” patrol report pops up with a busty orc girl who “failed her mission” and now needs punishment. You can humiliate her in the throne room, bend her over the steps, slap that big ass until it jiggles, then decide if you’re fucking her like a toy in front of frightened underlings or actually comforting her with slower vaginal sex. Both still end with her broken, panting, eyes blank. Or that virgin elf mage you recruit, acting all pure and holy, but the first time the curse really bites you in front of her, you lose control, shove her against a bookshelf, tear her clothes and fuck her until she’s drooling and begging you to corrupt her more. She goes from “please, dark lord, control yourself” to “don’t stop, use my mouth too” really fast. There is some light combat, yeah, you smack monsters around, get loot, level up, but it mostly just feels like foreplay to unlock new positions, toys, and kinks. The bdsm scenes surprised me. Ropes look tight, skin goes a little red if you keep spanking, chains rattle when she tries to squirm away, and there’s this humiliation angle where you make monster girls lick your boots first, then your cock right after. It hits that fantasy of being absolute bastard overlord, even though the guy is still kind of clueless office worker inside, panicking in his own thoughts while his body is happily choking a girl with his dick. Honestly, the small UI sounds are too loud on mobile and it annoys me every damn time I adjust volume, but then the next scene has a monster girl choking on your cock with tears in her eyes and you kinda forget everything.

This one feels like somebody took a grimy school ghost story, poured lust and drugs on it, then rubbed it into your skin until it stayed there. You’re not just clicking horny scenes, you’re sliding around in this sticky occult mess where every choice feels like it leaves something on your fingers. The school setting looks all normal on the surface, but after a few scenes it stops feeling like a campus and more like a ritual circle with desks. Classrooms turn into altars, lockers are just props for public use, and the corridors get that mood where you almost smell sweat and cheap perfume through the screen. The Japanese vibe is strong in the way everyone pretends everything is normal while literally nobody is acting normal. One moment it’s just a quiet corridor, next thing three girls are on their knees, uniforms half open, and the guy is pushed back against the wall while they fight over his cock with their mouths, wet sounds louder than the voice lines. I really liked how a titfuck scene could suddenly slide into this messy bukkake finish across the face and hair, and then the game still keeps talking like this is some tragic occult investigation. It’s stupid in a way, but the contrast actually makes it hotter.

What hit me harder than expected was the way the occult stuff bleeds into the sex. Mind control here is not polite. You get that slow build where a girl still thinks she has a choice, then you see her pupils change, her voice gets softer, and she starts begging to be used in front of everybody. There is one group scene in a classroom with mixed bodies, futa girl included, where the protagonist is basically just a toy pinned between them, and it feels crowded in a good way. Too many hands, too much skin, someone’s cock sliding between tits while another one is pushing into a throat, and a third is already working the pussy from behind. You kind of lose track of whose fluids are where. Sometimes the NTR angle comes in hard and nasty, like watching a girl you actually liked get dragged into a drugged ritual, waking up tied, legs forced open, and her “boyfriend” can only watch from the door as she’s fucked, first vaginal, then anal, then made to lick herself clean while laughing. It’s rough, with real graphic violence in some routes, and not the cute BDSM kind. The mind control can cross the line into “ok I need a break” territory, then the game just throws a soft lesbian scene in the nurse office on top, with slow kissing, fingers inside, wet sounds close to your ear because the voices are right there. The problem is some routes feel like they jump from a gentle titjob under the desk to a brutal ritual scene with almost no breathing room, but I guess that fits the whole nightmare feeling. I liked the multiple endings thing more in theory than in practice, because I kept looping into bad endings where someone ends up broken or dead or both, but honestly, when the occult book opens and everyone starts losing their sanity, that’s when the sex hits the hardest anyway. The game doesn’t feel safe, and that’s exactly what my hands remembered after I closed the tab.

Frank's prison break goes about as well as you'd expect - which is to say, absolutely terrible. One shipwreck later and this guy's washing up in Bikini Bottom looking like he got chewed up by Davy Jones himself. But here's where things get weird (and I mean WEIRD): instead of doing the sensible thing like finding help or maybe not impersonating cartoon characters, Frank decides the best survival strategy is pretending to be SpongeBob. Yeah, that SpongeBob. The yellow square dude who flips patties and annoys his neighbors.

What starts as a desperate con job turns into something way more fucked up than you bargained for. Frank's not just wearing the square pants - he's living the whole twisted fantasy, and apparently everyone in Bikini Bottom is way more... accommodating than the original show ever suggested. Sandy's got that Texas-sized appetite for more than just science experiments, if you catch my drift. The animation work is surprisingly smooth for what's basically underwater cartoon porn, though sometimes the character expressions look like they're having existential crises mid-scene. Can't blame them honestly. The sandbox elements let you wander around causing chaos at your own pace, which is perfect because rushing through this fever dream would be doing it a disservice. You'll find yourself clicking through dialogue just to see how much more absurd Frank's situation can get, and trust me, it gets pretty damn absurd.

The whole thing feels like someone took childhood nostalgia, threw it in a blender with adult fantasies, and hit the "completely unhinged" setting. Frank's supposed to be this hardened criminal but half the time he's bumbling around like he's never seen a talking starfish before. The male domination stuff works better than it should given the source material, probably because everyone's so committed to the bit. It's crude, it's ridiculous, and somehow that makes the sexy parts hit different. Just don't expect any deep character development - Frank's basically a horny plot device with commitment issues.