Princess Peach in this thing is not the cute little damsel people remember from old school cartridge days. She wakes up basically drenched in yesterday’s fun, still with dried cum on her tits and belly, and the “oh no Mario is gone” energy is way more “shit, I need my dick back” than heroic quest. The whole game feels like somebody mashed an old Nintendo arcade with the kind of filthy hentai you’re not supposed to admit you watch, then said, yeah, Peach is a complete slut now, deal with it. You’re hopping through rooms of the castle, but every few screens you’re not really thinking about coins or enemies, you’re thinking “ok, who is she going to blow next and how hard is the cumshot going to hit her face this time.” It’s still that Mushroom Kingdom vibe, sort of, just with Peach dropping to her knees faster than a goomba gets flattened. Seeing her with her crown on, mascara a little messy, lips shiny with spit while she’s deepthroating some random troop that’s supposed to be Bowser’s guard is weirdly hot and kind of stupid in the best way.

The “levels” are basically excuses to set up more sex, and that’s not a complaint at all, except when it is. You press the same couple of keys to jump or dodge and then suddenly you’re locked into a blowjob loop where timing the strokes actually matters for how fast the guy explodes on her face. One mistake and you’re watching Peach choking and gagging, blonde hair stuck to her cheeks with semen, like she’s done this a thousand times, which she kinda has, lore-wise. I liked that there’s this one moment where she sneaks past a fire trap only to “accidentally” land on a cock waiting behind a column, like, girl, really, you didn’t see that? It made me laugh and jerk off at the same time, which is a cursed combo. But the game also loves to stall you with tiny annoying bits, like one segment where the platforming feels off by half a pixel and you just keep falling, losing the mood, until the next scene of her hungrily sucking off a chain chomp reskins your brain again. The parody is all over the place, like they misremembered half of Super Mario Bros and didn’t care, but that actually makes it hotter somehow, because it’s less respectful and more “fuck this childhood memory, Peach is a cock-hungry mess now and she’ll use sex as her only weapon until she gets her plumber back, if she even wants him after all that.”

This thing throws you into a horny death maze again, same redhead bait, same cursed castle vibe, just dirtier and somehow cheaper and better at the same time. You spawn as this stacked redhead chick in a tiny outfit that looks like it’s begging to fall off, in a castle full of slime, spikes and way too many tentacle holes in the walls. The game pretends to be some old arcade run and jump, you use arrow keys, simple as hell, but the whole time you’re not thinking “platformer”, you’re thinking “ok, which corner will fuck me next”. Every step feels like a trap, and the game is laughing at you. You get a little corridor, feels safe, and then boom, floor eats you and suddenly she’s hanging upside down with tentacles spreading her legs open like it’s nothing. Animation kicks in, you get a full scene, and yeah, it’s pretty damn explicit. No shy camera angles, you see everything: slime, cum, jiggling, her face going from scared to actually kind of liking it, that usual hentai “oh no, but yes” thing.

What’s funny is, half the time I forgot I’m supposed to escape this dungeon nightmare and I just started walking into traps on purpose to see what else is hidden there. There are reused scenes from the previous game, you can totally tell, same positions, same monster patterns, same wet sounds, but they sprinkled new ones in between and it plays with your head. One moment a tentacle is just wrapping her arms and teasing, next scene in another room you get a whole gangbang pile of slimy limbs stuffing every hole she has and one she probably didn’t. There’s this one part in the castle basement where you jump over saw blades, and if you screw the timing a tiny bit, the floor panel collapses and she ends up pinned to the wall with vines, legs spread, vines acting like ropes and toys at the same time. Honestly that was my favorite and also the most annoying, because it’s locked behind this tiny stupid jump that feels just a hair too floaty. I kept dying there and yeah, “dying” basically means getting railed again. Not the worst punishment.

The controls are fine until they aren’t. Sometimes she skids like she’s on ice, sometimes she stops like she hit glue. Hitboxes are janky, you think you cleared a blade by a pixel, nope, your tits grazed it and now the floor opens and tentacles grab her ankles. I kind of hate it, but also the surprise is what makes the scenes actually hot, since you never know which trap triggers which animation. Some rooms give you fake safety: long quiet corridor, little torch flicker, nothing happening. Then last two tiles before the exit door? Hidden pressure plate, and she’s getting dragged into a wall gap with this wet slurp and suddenly you’re watching her being used like a toy by some unseen monster hiding in the darkness. You see tentacles sliding out of the black, wrapping her neck, slipping between her cheeks, pushing into her while she squirms. And the worst part is that after the scene ends you get reset back like nothing happened, and yeah, you immediately try to trigger it again like a degenerate.

The castle itself is just corridor after corridor of “ok, which horny death is here”. Dungeon cells with chained-up positions, ceiling slimes that drop on her head and then you’re stuck watching them pound her into the floor, weird fleshy pods that open when you step near them and suck her inside for a close-up breeding loop. Sometimes you’re super close to the exit door, you can literally see it, and there is this single tiny spike trap placed in the stupidest possible spot. You misjudge, you trip, and bam, the floor transforms into this living tentacle pit that yanks her under. I complained out loud at my screen and then sat through the whole scene anyway, so whatever, I’m part of the problem. The game is basically one long argument between “I want to win” and “I want to see her get grabbed again”. It’s rough, it’s horny, it’s unfair, it reuses old stuff, and I still kept pressing restart like some lab rat that learned the button gives porn instead of food.

There is something very funny to me about this game. You open it expecting the usual horny snack, some poolside tits, you click a little, jerk a little, close the tab, done. And instead it feels kind of like a rhythm game designed by a pervert who spent too much time in old arcades and then got way too obsessed with boobs and tentacles. It looks simple when you first see the pool, the girls in their bikinis doing that fake “I’m just relaxing here” pose, but your brain starts going into hunter mode the moment the monster slides into the water. The whole screen is a trap for your eyes. Tits bouncing, asses half out of tiny swimsuits, and under the surface you, this horny underwater thing that honestly feels more relatable than I wish to admit.

I play a lot of games with sound off, Spotify in the background, but this one kind of bullied me into turning the in‑game audio up. The little wet slaps when your tentacles snap out, that low, almost silly bass line that makes everything feel like a porn parody of an old coin‑op cabinet, and then those breathy moans when you actually catch a girl off guard. They’re not “high quality production” or something like this, they sound a bit compressed and dirty, like someone recorded them on a cheap mic at home while neighbors were away. And that fits too well. There is this moment when you line up a grab perfectly, the beat hits, your tentacle pops out of the water and wraps around some sun‑oiled thigh, and her bikini bottom gets pulled aside with this tiny little rip of fabric sound. It’s goofy. It’s hot. It’s kind of trash. I love it. I also absolutely hate how sometimes the same two moans repeat three times in a row, feels like my phone notification stuck on a loop, but after a while your brain files it under “sex noise wallpaper” and you move on.

What surprised me is how “arcade” it actually plays. You are not just clicking girls to see tits, you’re basically juggling timing and reflex like some horny version of whack‑a‑mole. They move around the pool, they sit on the edge, they swing their legs, and you’re threading tentacles between floaties and limbs, trying not to waste your shots. Miss, and you get that wet splash and nothing else. Hit, and suddenly she’s pulled halfway into the water, tits spilling out of her top, hair all over her face, and the music does this tiny shift that almost sounds like it’s laughing at her. Or at you. Hard to tell. Sometimes I wished there was a bit more variation, maybe different types of girls, different reactions, whatever, but then I realized the game kind of wants to stay in this one scenario, like a single porn loop stretched and remixed again and again until it becomes its own genre. Personally I also got irrationally annoyed at how one of the bikinis has this ugly pattern I can’t unsee, but I kept going anyway, chasing that feeling when three girls line up at the pool edge and you snatch them one after another with perfect timing, the soundtrack turning into this horny little drum solo while your monster becomes the most efficient sex predator in chlorinated water history.

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